Confessions (Tattoos & Tears Book 3)

by Amiee Louise

  ***

  I wake the next morning feeling refreshed, and I’m ready to face the day with renewed purpose. I leave Freddie sleeping as I make my way into the bathroom. The flat seems so quiet without Ruby. I take off last night’s clothes and step into the spacious walk-in shower. I let the water sting as it rains down on my body. After I finish my shower, I dry off and check on Freddie. He is wide awake and smiling.

  “Good morning, my handsome boy,” I coo and pick him up, taking him into the kitchen, to explore our newly spacious flat.

  I open the frosted glass cupboards, and I find cups. In the next cupboard, I find bags of coffee and sugar. I open the under counter fridge and find a fresh pint of milk. Thank you, Sam. I take out a cup and a bag of coffee then load up the coffee machine. It takes me a few attempts, but I manage to get it working, and the aroma of fresh coffee, soon fills the flat. My favourite smell in the world. I sit Freddie in his carrycot and set about unpacking some of my stuff from my suitcase. With at least some of my stuff around the place, it starts to feel like home again.

  I style my hair, apply natural makeup, and get dressed. Today I opt for a pair of dark denim cropped jeans, a black t-shirt with the slogan ‘This is my zombie killing shirt’ in white lettering, with red blood splatters all over it. I am just pulling on my black Converse trainers when there is a knock at the door. I open the door apprehensively, and I take in the man mountain that is standing in my doorway, with his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his dress trousers.

  “Cole Benedict sent me, darlin',” he says, in a soft Texan drawl.

  “Who are you?”

  I try to sound confident, but the tremor in my voice betrays me.

  “Like I said, Cole sent me, doll. My name is Kai Hunter, friends call me K,” he says casually, and I shake my head.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  I regard him intently and take him in. He has blonde hair shaved close to his head, deep, piercing indigo eyes, and at least three days’ worth of rough, blonde stubble on his chin. He is at least six feet seven inches tall with broad shoulders, narrow hips, and he is extremely muscular. I think his muscles might have muscles! He is wearing an expensive black suit, tailored perfectly to fit his large frame, consisting of a white shirt, black tie, black trousers and a black jacket that stretches across his impressive ample shoulders.

  "Can I at least come in?"

  I narrow my eyes, and I move warily away from the door to allow him to step inside. He looks around as he coolly takes in his surroundings.

  “I don’t need you here; I can look after myself just fine,” I say flatly and fold my arms defensively across my chest, without taking my eyes off him.

  He untucks his hands from his pockets, and as he does, my heart beat starts to quicken. I suddenly feel a panic attack start to threaten. Shit.

  “Please, leave,” I say as calmly as I can manage. Deep breaths, Harper.

  “Look, I’m here under Cole Benedict’s orders, darlin’. It's more than my job's worth, and I’m afraid I’m not going anywhere unless Cole tells me to,” he says sedately.

  I silently count back from ten in my head, and by the time I get to one, I feel a little calmer.

  “Please, just go. I don’t need you here.”

  I scrub my hands down my face, quickly losing my patience at this man, who is built like a brick shit house.

  “No can do, doll.”

  I feel intense anger at this man, who is standing in my flat, intimidating the fuck out of me.

  “PLEASE JUST FUCKING LEAVE!” I scream, and his eyes widen.

  “Calm down, darlin’. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  He holds his hands up defensively.

  “Alright, fine! I’ll get Cole on the phone, he can tell you himself.”

  He takes out his mobile phone, and I swear I hear him mutter "crazy bitch" as he dials a number, putting the phone on speaker so I can hear Cole.

  “Hey, boss, it’s K. I’m at Miss Harper’s, as requested. She doesn’t believe that you sent me.”

  I hear Cole curse.

  “Hey K, thanks for letting me know. I'll deal with it from here, mate. Sugar, are you there? It’s Cole. Look, he isn’t lying. I sent him to help. Sam asked me to arrange some protection for you and Freddie upon your return. He’s the best at what he does. Kai comes highly recommended, and he’s a trusted member of my team. I wouldn’t just have anyone working for me; you should know that, sugar. I only hire the best, and I trust him implicitly.”

  Cole’s deep, rumbling timbre fills my ears, and I instantly feel a little calmer after my almost mini-meltdown.

  “Sugar, I need you to talk to me.”

  Kai looks at me, prompting me to speak. He must think I’m a complete idiot.

  “I’m here,” I say softly.

  “Please tell me you’ll let Kai look after you, sugar. Sam and I need to know you and Freddie are safe. It will put his mind at ease and make my job easier, you know what Sam’s like. At least while Sam’s not there. The boys are doing promotion for their new album and tour, but he’ll be back in London soon. The safety of his son is his number one priority,” he says gruffly.

  “Ok, but I’m doing this for Sam and Freddie,” I say reluctantly, and he chuckles softly.

  “Ok, sugar, thank you,” he says, distracted by a voice in the background.

  “Sugar, Sam wants to talk to you.”

  I hear rustling, and Sam’s husky voice fills my ears.

  “Hey angel, how are you and my little rock star?”

  I smile at his nickname for Freddie, and he sounds as if our harsh words from a week ago never happened.

  “We’re good, thanks. How are you?”

  He chuckles softly.

  “All good, angel, all good. I just wanted to say I hope you don't mind that I knocked into the flat next door, you've got two extra bedrooms. It's bigger for you and Freddie. All of your stuff is in storage at your parents’ house in Brighton, and your car is my garage; none of us could bear to get rid of it, so it’s all still there. I could arrange for it to be picked up and delivered to the flat today, just say the word, babe and it's done.”

  My heart warms at his thoughtfulness.

  “That would be great, thank you.”

  He chuckles softly.

  “Anytime, angel. Consider it done, I'll make some calls. Kai’s there to look after you. His speciality is close protection, so if you need anything at all, let him know, and he’ll take care of it. That includes driving you anywhere you need to go.”

  I look at Kai, and he is casually leaning against the wall with his arms folded, listening intently to our conversation.

  “I have to go, but I’ll be in touch, angel. Give Freddie a big kiss from daddy...bye.”

  He doesn’t give me a chance to say goodbye before he hangs up. I fold my arms and regard Kai intently as I hand his phone back to him. He tucks his phone into his pocket.

  “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to act like a complete psycho bitch, I don't make a habit of it,” I say as he throws his head back and laughs.

  “I’ve dealt with worse, believe me, doll.”

  He shrugs nonchalantly, as if he deals with neurotic, screaming women every day of his life.

  "Should we start again?"

  He smiles and nods as he straightens his jacket, offering me his hand.

  "Kai Hunter, pleasure to meet you, darlin’."

  I laugh and shake his hand.

  "Peyton Harper, pleased to meet you too, Kai."

  I let go of his hand, and we stand in an awkward silence for a few moments.

  “Do you want some coffee?”

  He nods.

  “That would be great, darlin’, thanks.”

  He pulls his phone back out of his pocket. He takes off his suit jacket and hangs it up, on the coat hook that's to the left of the doorway and begins to roll up his sleeves, revealing thick, muscular, corded arms.

  "So, Cole tells me this used to be your plac
e?" he asks curiously, and I nod.

  "Yeah, I used to live here with my best friend, Ruby."

  He smiles.

  "Ah, the little piranha fish. She's a force to be reckoned with!"

  We both laugh at his nickname for Ruby, and he sits down on the floor. He pats the space next to him.

  "We may as well make ourselves comfortable, darlin'. I would run out to get you breakfast, but I've been specifically instructed not to leave you alone, under any circumstances."

  I sit down next to him and pull Freddie's carrycot closer, so I can take him out. I unbuckle the straps and pick him up, cradling him close to me.

  "Hey handsome boy, mummy's here."

  He turns his head and his inquisitive green gaze locks onto Kai.

  "Hey, little buddy."

  I stroke Freddie's cheek.

  "This is Kai; he's going to look after us until daddy gets home," I croon, as Kai starts tapping on his phone.

  "So, tell me about you, Kai Hunter," I ask inquisitively.

  "I'm Kai Hunter, like I said, and my friends call me K. I'm thirty-seven, and I've worked for Cole for...eight or nine years, give or take. Before that, I was in the United States Marine Corps.”

  I nod. Wow, the Marines? That explains the size of him!

  “Are you married?” I ask out of curiosity, and he smirks.

  “Yes, I have a wife, Gabriella. We got together in our junior year, been together ever since. We have a daughter, Brooke, she's almost six years old now."

  He takes out his wallet and shows me a picture of a beautiful brunette woman, with long waist length, poker straight hair and a little girl, who looks like she inherited the best of both parents. I smile.

  "Wow, they're both beautiful. You're a very lucky man."

  I feel inwardly jealous of their happiness. I've lost a whole year with Sam, and he's missed six months of his son's life. I'll never be able to take that back, and that thought causes a lump to form in my throat. He chuckles softly.

  "That I am, doll."

  I hold Freddie close to me, taking in his familiar, unique baby smell. I get up from the floor and go into the kitchen to prepare the coffees. The sound of Kai clearing his throat makes me jump, and I let out a strangled gasp.

  "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, doll," he says apologetically as I spin round to regard him.

  His sleeves are rolled up, showcasing his thick, bulging muscles and showing his United States Marine Corps tattoo on his left bicep. The top button of his shirt is undone, and his tie is loose around his neck. He has a small silver stud in his ear, and his eyes are piercing blue, complimenting his blonde hair and tanned complexion. I lean against the worktop with Freddie in my arms, waiting for the coffee machine to finish.

  “So, why exactly are you here, Kai Hunter?” I ask, and he smirks at the use of his full name.

  He tucks his hands in his pockets and leans back casually against the breakfast bar.

  “Like I said, darlin’, just doing my job, following orders.”

  With those words, the coffee machine finishes, and I prepare both cups.

  "Sugar? Milk?"

  He shakes his head.

  "Black's good, thanks, darlin'.”

  I make him a cup and push it across the worktop. He takes it, nodding his thanks, and I make my own. I put in sugar and milk, stir it, and take a welcome sip of the hot liquid as I take in all six feet seven inches of Kai Hunter. I start to think to myself that maybe having a bodyguard won’t be that bad.

  Half an hour later, I grab my bag, pull on my khaki green Parka, pick Freddie up and leave the flat, closely followed by Kai. I walk down the plush, carpeted corridor and push the button for the lift down to the lobby. The lift arrives, and we step into the lift in silence. A few moments pass, and the lift stops at the lobby. I step out and walk across the foyer, nodding to Jimmy, who salutes and winks. I smile warmly as we exit the building. Parked at the kerb is a large, black 4x4 Land Rover with blacked out windows. Kai opens the passenger door for me, and he straps Freddie in the back seat, in a specially fitted car seat. He puts his carrycot in the boot and comes back round to the driver’s side. He started the engine and pulls smoothly away from the kerb.

  "Where to, darlin’?" Kai says in his American drawl.

  "Saint Sinner Ink, in Islington, please?"

  He smiles and nods curtly. I lean back and spend the journey wondering what the fuck I'm going to say to Seb when I get there.

  When Kai pulls up outside the shop, I let him exit the car first. He then comes around to my side to open the door. I step out onto the pavement, and as I look up at the shops exterior, my heartbeat starts to quicken. I notice that everything still looks the same as it did a year ago. The shop sign, in its signature yellow and black, reminds me that I’m home. Kai unbuckles Freddie from the backseat and hands him to me.

  “I’ll wait here, doll,” Kai says, and I’m grateful that he chooses to let me do this my way.

  I hold Freddie in one arm and push the door open with the other. The bell rings, signalling someone entering the shop, and his eyes snap up from tattooing his client. Seb. He instantly stops what he's doing. He gets up from his workstation and walks slowly over to me, as if he can't believe what he's seeing. He looks exactly the same as he did a year ago. Seb is six feet six inches tall, well-built and very muscular from his short time in the S.A.S and work as a doorman. He has tattoos on every inch of his body, except for his face, head and hands. He has dark, intense, electric blue eyes, and dark hair, which he always used to keep shaved bald, but now it has grown out into a short faux hawk. He has added a tattoo of a black and grey rose on the left side of his neck, and a small diamond stud in his ear.

  "Peyton."

  His voice is gruff with emotion, and I see him swallow hard. He tears his gloves off and throws them into the metal bin next to his workstation. I walk towards him, and he walks forward at the same time. He crushes me to him and almost lifts me off the floor.

  "Fuck me, babe."

  His voice is shaky, and I don't think I have ever seen Seb cry in all the years I have known him. He pulls away and looks at Freddie, then back at me.

  "He's Sam's," I answer his unspoken question as Seb's eyes widen and curses softly.

  I feel everyone's eyes in the shop focused solely on us. Seb frowns, and he realises I'm feeling more than a little exposed.

  "Babe, do you and the little dude want to go into the back? Stick the kettle on, and I'll be right there, as soon as I'm done."

  I nod, and I make my way into the back of the shop. It all looks the same as when I left it. The back of the shop is cosy, homely and inviting. It has a comfortable black and zebra print sofa that seems to swallow you when you sink into it, a few beanbags scattered on the black carpeted floor, framed movie posters adorning the walls, a storage area where we store our personal stuff, a desk in the corner where we used to deal with the paperwork, an iPod dock, and a small kitchen area in the back with a kettle and a microwave. I look around and point to some of the tattoo art on the walls.

  "Look, Freddie, this is what mummy's job used to be. Isn't it pretty?" I coo, and he giggles.

  I arrange the cushions on the sofa and lay Freddie down. I busy myself making two cups of coffee while keeping a vigilant eye on Freddie. I smile to myself that all the cups are in the same place they have always been. I'm not sure how much time passes, but I am startled by Seb's deep voice.

  "For the record, I'm not angry with you, babe. I could never be angry with you. I'm just disappointed, and I'm so fucking hurt that you thought you couldn't come to me and tell me that you were ok. I lost my best friend, my fucking little sister that day, babe, and it hurt like you would not believe. I've known you since you were that innocent, vibrant, fresh-faced, persistent as hell eighteen-year-old, with the kick-ass portfolio, and the personality and the attitude to match."

  I hang my head in pure shame at the look in Seb's eyes. I can’t stand the look of hurt, mixed with such inten
se disappointment. I think my already broken heart broke that little bit more as his gaze drops to the floor. He swallows and promptly changes the subject when he begins to speak again.