by Mona Kasten
“And what about you? Have you forgotten how to use a telephone?” I counted to five before speaking again in a more forgiving tone. “Anyway, what’s the use of calling if all I hear is accusations about making the wrong decision for my career? You and Mom were never okay with my moving. Hearing that over and over again doesn’t help.”
“Of course, I wanted you to do something sensible with your life, Crystal,” he said, and I winced.
By now I was used to being called Allie, and it was strange to hear this other name—one that didn’t fit me anymore. Like this house. His words stung me. That’s how it always was when he talked down to me. As if his way were the only right way, the only way to get ahead in life.
Trying to keep my cool, I hadn’t yet formed an answer when I heard the front door open. Mom’s high heels clacked across the marble floor. Then she appeared in the doorway.
As always, everything about her was perfect, from hairstyle to pedicure. Her perfection was broken only for a fraction of a second, when her fake smile wavered at the sight of me sitting next to Dad.
“Crystal!” She pretended to be surprised. “I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow.”
Now I lost my composure and jumped up. “But you were sure I’d come.”
She sighed. “Of course I was hoping you would. But I’m not going to spoil my evening just because your childish pride keeps you away on Thanksgiving.”
I raised my eyebrows and looked at Dad, who was just picking up his cell phone from the table. Then he stood, nodded apologetically and disappeared into his study. I uttered a joyless laugh. Wasn’t it always like this? Mom and I would fight, Dad would disappear. He avoided any quarrel that did not directly involve him, and as a businessman he always had a ready excuse.
“I can’t believe you outright lied to me,” I hissed, addressing my mother. Actually, I didn’t want her to notice how furious she made me. That would only get her going. “Why’d you do it?”
Mom’s frozen smile grew even wider. “I want nothing more than to spend Thanksgiving with my daughter. Is that too much to ask?”
The nerve!
“You don’t think I’d go to your fucking gala now, do you?”
Mom gasped. “Don’t you dare speak to me like you grew up in the gutter, Crystal. This is beneath your dignity. It’s not how you were raised.”
I snorted. “Beneath my dignity … ” I murmured. “You’re out of your mind if you think that your plan worked, Mom.” I noticed with some satisfaction how she backed away from me. “I’m only here because you hooked me with a nasty trick. Not because I want to play happy family with you on Thanksgiving and dance around in front of your friends like a doll. The only thing I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving is that I don’t have to live here anymore.”
These were my last words. I ran into the foyer, grabbed my bag, and left, slamming the door behind me, hoping it made the walls shake.
Chapter 20
The Bellverton was the most expensive hotel I knew, and I booked the most luxurious room available. Mom would probably never notice the money missing from her account, but it still felt good to put the credit card into the reader. A friendly porter brought me upstairs, and I thanked him with a nod and an oversized tip. Throwing Mom’s money out the window was my way of getting revenge for what she’d done to me today. And I wanted to enjoy that to the hilt.
I dragged myself over to the bed and let myself sink into it. Lost in thought, I stroked the soft white down comforter and breathed in the fragrance of freshly washed linen. Little candies lay on the pillow. Just like at Rachel’s. My fingers closed around my cell phone. I had to call Kaden. I owed him that much. But I felt so stupid. After all, Mom’s tricks were nothing new. I should’ve known she’d pull something to get me to the gala. How awful that Kaden now had to experience this up close. I was ashamed that he’d seen me in this embarrassing condition and that I’d ruined the day for him and his mom, for no good reason.
Taking a deep breath, I called his number. My throat was tight, my mouth dry.
He picked up on the first ring.
“Allie.” He sounded relieved.
I closed my eyes, feeling ridiculous. “Hey.”
“How are you?” he asked, clearing his throat. “How’s your father?”
“Everything’s okay,” I said, nearly swallowing my words. “Mom lied.”
Silence on the other end of the line. Then: “She what?”
“He got a minor injury playing squash. That’s all,” I went on. My voice was dull. I rubbed my eyes. Why did they have to start burning now, of all times? “He tore his ligament, but otherwise he’s fine. He was surprised to see me.”
“That crafty piece of shit!” Kaden blurted out; I could picture his jaw tightening, his brows knit into a frown.
I smiled; his words didn’t bother me. That was Kaden—if he wanted to insult my mother, he did it. He was the best person in the world to talk to right now.
“It’s okay,” I tried to reassure him anyway.
“No,” he growled. “Nothing is okay, there’s nothing about this that’s okay.”
He was getting louder and I could hear Rachel asking him something. He answered: “No, her mom basically lied to get her to come to some crappy celebration. It’s okay for me to tell my mom, right?”
I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me. Rachel had been so caring—of course she should know what was going on.
Rachel said something else unintelligible; then there was silence. Kaden must’ve gone in another room. “So how do you feel?” he finally asked.
To be honest, I didn’t know exactly how I was doing. On one hand, I was relieved that dad was okay. On the other hand, I just wanted to cry. I’d spent half the day worrying to death. To top it off, my rage at my mother was blazing.
“I don’t know,” I whispered, laying down on my back and pinching my nostrils to keep from crying. Kaden had seen too many of my tears; I didn’t want to be a burden on him. Not after he’d been there for me.
“Can I do anything?” he murmured.
“If only I hadn’t fallen for her trick, and had stayed with you.” I swallowed my tears. “I hope I haven’t ruined your day.”
Now Kaden groaned. “Only you would think of that.”
“What do you mean?”
“You get an awful call from your mother, nearly have a nervous breakdown, catch the next flight because you think something happened to your father, you find out that he’s fine and that your mom was fucking with you—and then you apologize to me for possibly ruining my day. You’ve lost it, Bubbles.”
“Thanks a lot,” I growled. But I felt better. Kaden was on my side. Even without knowing the details about my past or about my family, he stood up for me. Just because.
“Where are you now?”
“I booked a room in the most expensive hotel I could find,” I announced, and ran my hand over the fine white sheets. “To get back at Mom. It was the only thing I could think of.”
“Well done.”
“I’m a genius.”
“You are.”
Again I had to smile. “You agreed with me!”
“I’m making exceptions today.” Could it be that I heard Kaden grinning?
There was a long silence. I heard his calm, strong breathing.
“I wish you were here,” the words slipped out of me.
The sound of his breathing stopped abruptly, and I frowned. I’d broken so many of Kaden’s rules in the last few days; I couldn’t count my transgressions on both hands any more.
“I have to go.” Now he sounded absent, and I couldn’t blame him. I hadn’t meant to cross the line, and now he was pulling back.
“Say hi to your mom for me,” I said, putting on a cheerful voice before hanging up and turning off my phone to prevent my doing anything else dumb.
After crying my eyes dry and then falling asleep for who knows how long, I did feel better. Tears cleanse the soul—wasn’t that an old saying? At least it was true for me.
Now it was time for a bath. I had sweat a lot during the trip.
Oh well, no scented candles. But the lights could be dimmed until they practically twinkled.
I slipped into the tub. The warmth did me good, and I submerged. But my thoughts kept coming back.
Though I wasn’t even twenty-one yet, it was now clear to me that the time had come to ditch my parents. To them, outward appearances always took precedence, even if it meant sacrificing the welfare of their only child. This was also true for tomorrow’s celebration. I had to find a way to deal with these kinds of situations without getting too upset. For years, my efforts to work things out with my parents had failed. There was no point in going on like this. Not everyone was destined to have a healthy, intact family, to have a sense of belonging. It’d been hard for me to accept this, but it was time to acknowledge that I didn’t feel at home with my parents. Their values didn’t speak to me, and it looked like mine didn’t speak to them, either.
Dad was always aloof. He wasn’t interested in my life because it didn’t match his expectations. And Mom … Mom was in a class of her own. There was no future for us. Not after what she’d done today and especially back then.
By the time I stepped out of the tub, the water had cooled and my body felt heavy. The warmth had dissolved my tension and helped me calm down. Wrapping myself in the fluffy hotel robe, I towel-dried my hair. It was when I turned to go into the bedroom that I heard a knock on the door.
Confused, I glanced at the room service menu. I’d wanted to order something but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
Another knock, this time louder.
I didn’t need a peephole to know who was behind the door. Mom. Ten horses couldn’t drag me back to my parents’ house; there was no way I’d go to the gala. Mom could do what she wanted—locate my cell phone, block the credit card—no matter what she did, I’d be back in my real home, back in Woodshill, tomorrow.
I stomped to the door and tore it open. “I-”
Mid-sentence, I froze, mouth open.
Standing at the door of my hotel room was Kaden. With one arm he leaned against the doorframe; the other hand was buried in his pants pocket. He was wearing what he’d had on this morning. It felt like weeks since then. The travel bag we’d packed together was slung over his shoulder.
A big smile spread across his face as he saw my stunned expression.
My nerves short-circuited. Before I knew it, I’d leapt toward Kaden, flung my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his neck. He returned my embrace, wrapping his arms around me. I pressed myself against him as tightly as possible, until there was no space between us. Everything else that had happened this day had become unimportant. All that mattered was Kaden. Us.
“Are you okay?” he asked, releasing his hold.
He was cautious and gentle, and I couldn’t explain what was happening to my body. A burning desire arose in me and all my feelings seemed to break out unfiltered. I shuddered.
Kaden looked at me with an intense, worried expression. “Can I do anything for you?”
I nodded and let my eyes wander over his face to his lips.
“What do you need, Allie?”
I hesitated for a fraction of a second before placing my hands on his cheeks.
“You.”
That was all I said before pressing my lips hard against his.
Chapter 21
Kaden muffled something along the lines of shock or surprise. I placed one hand on the back of his head, the other in the crook of his neck. Then I stroked his tongue with mine.
When he groaned, my whole body answered.
My God, I wanted Kaden. More than anyone ever before.
Together we stumbled into the room. Kaden shut the door behind us. For a moment he loosened his lips from mine to look at me. His eyes were darker than ever, and I could see in them only passion and pure desire. My heart was pounding so hard that my whole body shook. Suddenly Kaden was holding my head in his hands, kissing me until I was dizzy.
I wanted to feel Kaden, to explore his skin and kiss every single one of his tattoos. But he was wearing too much for that. Way too much. My hand traced down his back to the edge of his shirt; within a few seconds I’d pulled it over his head and tossed it aside. Now I kissed his chest, which made him sigh; I leaned back and let my eyes feast on his body.
He was as well-built as I remembered. And this time I could gaze at him without feeling ashamed. And touch him. His muscles tensed as my hands traced his upper body, first hesitantly, then more determined. I lingered on his stomach, wondering whether I should keep on going. Why not?
“Oh God, Allie,” Kaden blurted out, running his fingers through my hair. He gently tipped my head back and started to kiss me again. His tongue danced slowly and also roughly with mine, sending such tingling through my body that my knees threatened to buckle. It seemed like Kaden felt the same; he put his hands around my waist and guided me with staggering steps toward the bed. Our kiss continued until he dropped backward and took me down with him. Now I sat straddling him, not even caring that I was naked under my bathrobe.
Kaden looked up at me through half-closed lids before his hands found their way under the soft robe and reached my skin. He stroked my thighs, back and forth, and a pleasant shudder ran through my whole body. I leaned forward, supporting myself with one arm next to his head, and bent over him. I kissed his stubbly cheeks, traced his jaw down to his neck, and remained there until Kaden let out a groan that seemed to come from deep inside his chest.
“You’re killing me,” he gasped, then ran his hands up my body, under the knot of the bathrobe tie, just under my breasts. There he paused, stroking me with his fingers.
I bit gently into his neck and began to move my hips. I could feel his excitement. The fabric of his jeans rubbed against my skin and I wanted them off. My hand moved down, but before I reached his belt, he whirled me around and pressed my back against the mattress.
Kaden’s face was close to mine; I could feel his breath on my lips. He smelled of mint and of Kaden, and I wanted more.
“Allie … this isn’t why I came here.”
I silenced him with my mouth, kissing him until I couldn’t breathe, digging my fingers into his shoulders and pulling him down to me as hard as I could.
Again Kaden drew away from me and said, panting: “I’m not sleeping with you. Not like this.”
Now all I could do was emit a frustrated groan.
Kaden gave me a crooked grin. “It’s great to know you want me, but I don’t think that now … is the right time. With what you just went through, you’re not totally … able to decide.”
Though my body hated him for it, Kaden was right. I loosened my grip on his shoulders and stroked his back.
Kaden closed his eyes, and held his breath. “If you keep this up, I might reconsider,” he murmured and buried his face on my shoulder. His stubbly chin scratched my naked skin—a feeling that made me mad with desire. He kissed me right there and I felt his teeth. I sighed. Kaden knew what he was doing.
When I stopped stroking his back Kaden lifted his head to look at me. His gaze was mysterious but attentive; his eyes darted over my face. Lying between his arms, I felt encompassed. Whatever happened around us, this was a safe place. I turned to look at my favorite tattoo, tracing the lyrics with my finger until his muscles tightened under my touch.
“I love your tattoos,” I murmured, turning to look at the circles on his other arm. “Not because I have a fetish for guys with tattoos, but because their meaning is so powerful.” When I saw the Morse code, I had to smile. Now that I
’d met Rachel I could understand the tattoo so much better.
“I like how you always stare at it, and every time I catch you, you blush.”
His mouth twitched. My finger followed the outline of his lips. His eyes darkened, but then Kaden rolled off and lay down next to me. He leaned his head on his hand and looked at me. His eyes kept on returning to the belt of my bathrobe.
“Could you maybe put something on? I’m having a hard time concentrating.”
I rolled on my side so we were facing each other. “Are you sure you want to turn me down?”
His jaw muscles tightened. “Allie.”
“Kaden.”
For a moment he said nothing; he was working on an answer. Then he uttered a sound that was half laugh, half groan. “I didn’t reject you, Bubbles. I just said I won’t sleep with you.”
A second later he had rolled back on top of me. With one hand he opened the bathrobe, and I held my breath as he gazed at me with fiery eyes.
“That doesn’t rule out other things.”
Kaden kissed my mouth, my throat and then glided downward with his lips. He paused at my breasts, pushing the robe a little farther apart, until they lay bare in front of him. He looked at me, a question in his eyes, but I could only bite my lips. That was enough of an answer for Kaden, and he lowered his head, depositing kisses all over my torso. I arched my back and swore I could feel his smile on my skin before he encircled one of my nipples with his lips. I groaned. His let one hand drift down my body until he was at my hips. His touch was the perfect blend of powerful dominance and unbearable gentleness. I longed for release. I longed for him, though I knew it was probably the worst time to throw our rules overboard. But I wouldn’t destroy the beautiful moment by thinking too much about what it meant. It felt way too good for that.
“If you keep this up I’ll jump on you, like it or not,” I panted.
Kaden caressed my breast with his tongue before looking at me through his thick, black lashes. “It’s not about liking it or not liking it.”
