by J. L. Beck
His t-shirt. I shake my head, confusion over his words coursing through my body.
Why would he want me to cover up if he wanted to fuck me? Maybe he is just saying these things to keep me scared? But he did kill one of his men for me, so obviously, he doesn’t want anyone else to have me? But he also said he may kill me, even after having sex with me. I’m so confused by him. Everything he says and does is a contradiction, but my gut tells me that he won’t kill me.
I eye myself in the mirror for a moment. The bruise on my cheek isn’t nearly as bad as I’d have expected it to be. The hit itself hurt more than the actual bruise looks.
My wrists throb, but the pain is a great reminder that I’m alive, at least for now. My gaze moves over to the bathroom door. I know I can’t hide out in this bathroom forever, no matter how badly I want to, and something tells me that the longer I take in here, the angrier he is going to get out there. And if he’s angry, he’s less likely to bargain, and if I want to make it out of this alive, I’m going to have bargain every single thing I’ve got.
I take the plain cotton t-shirt and slip it on. The material is soft, and I relish in the warmth it provides me. My gaze slips down to the discarded lingerie on the floor. I want to burn them, rip them to shreds, but instead, I pick them up and toss them into the trash can. I don’t care that I don’t have any panties. I’d rather be completely exposed then put those disgraceful things back on.
I walk slowly over to the door, pulling at the hem of the t-shirt. It rests just above my knees, confirming just how much bigger Xander is than I, but still, it’s not long enough. Twisting the door knob, I walk out into the dark bedroom.
It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the lighting but when they do, I notice Xander sitting on the very edge of the bed. The first thing I notice is the gun lying next to him. I think about running back inside the bathroom, but what good would that do me?
He’d just follow me and shoot me anyway, and as badly as I want to run, running will not get me out of this situation.
Gathering all the courage I have left in me, I walk up to him until my bare legs are almost touching his covered ones.
“What now?”
“Give me a reason not to kill you, Mouse. One single fucking reason. If you can’t give me information, then offer me something else that will make me want to keep you.”
My eyes widen as he picks the gun up. He doesn’t point it at me, but it’s still a threat looming between us. I know it would only take a second for him to raise it and pull the trigger.
“I would tell you if I knew anything… I would help you catch your father if I could, but I swear I don’t know anything. I can’t give you any information when there is none to give. I don’t have money or anything else to offer you. All I have is myself... that’s all I can give you. Me… if that’s what you want. I’ll give you me, if it’s the only form of payment I can give you in return for letting me go.”
My heart races, slamming against my ribcage painfully. I can’t believe I just said what I did. I just offered myself to this man who already told me that he’s either going to hurt me or kill me, but for some reason, I can’t believe he would do the latter. Xander’s dark eyes meet my frightened ones. There’s a curiosity in his gaze as it flicks over my body. I can practically see what he is thinking, and the thoughts make me shiver.
What’s the worst he can do to me? Take my virginity. Degrade me. Hurt me. But when it’s all over, I’ll still be alive, and that’s all that matters, right? I’ll be able to find my sister.
“I won’t be gentle with you, and I cannot even guarantee that I won’t put a bullet in your head when I’m done with you.” He says the words as if he is talking more to himself than me.
I swallow around the knot in my throat, knowing that bargaining with the devil before me will do me no good, and yet still, I say the words that sit against the tip of my tongue. “I… I’m giving myself to you. All I want is to live… to walk away from this all when it’s over. That’s it.”
“Why would I value you giving yourself to me if I could just take you by force and there is nothing you could do about it?” A wicked grin paints his face, and I swallow hard. Not really having a good answer to that, I just shrug, knowing that he is right. If he wanted to, he could overpower me easily.
“Why were you at my father’s house?” His eyes burnig right through me, holding me in place.
“I was looking for my sister. She’s been missing for weeks and some people told me that she was at this night club. So, I went there, showing everybody her picture. I didn’t find her. I was just about to give up, turn around and leave, but some men grabbed me before I could. I asked them about her, but they just ignored me. They drugged me, I think…”
I sigh, remembering bits and pieces that flickered through my mind. “I don’t really remember everything that happened. One minute, I was awake, and the next, I wasn’t. Then I woke up in the bedroom. I was on the floor with my hands and feet bound together. I don’t know how I got to the room or who put me in the lingerie. I wasn’t awake for any of that.”
“How did you get onto the bed?” Xander’s face is void of all emotion.
My body revolts just thinking about our little encounter. “Your father came into the room and put me on the bed.”
“Did he touch you?” His question twists a knife deep into my heart. Tears instantly fill my eyes. I don’t want to appear weak to Xander, but I’ll never forget the things his father said to me, or the way his hands felt on my skin.
“He told me what he was going to do to me and then he started… touching me.” The bile rises in my throat, burning up every inch of my esophagus. “But he got interrupted by a guard coming in… he said that the house was under attack. They left without saying another word to me.”
Through my tears, I look up at Xander and see some flicker of emotion in his eyes. It looks a lot like pity. I usually don’t like to have anyone pity me, but with a man like him, I’ll take any emotion I can get.
“I tried to get free, but the ropes were too tight. They cut into my skin, and that’s why these cuts are so deep.” I look down at my messed-up wrists, wishing the wounds would heal already. “Then you came in the room and found me.”
He nods, as if for the first time today, he actually believes everything I’m saying. A memory dislodges from my mind… right then.
“Wait… your father said something to me about an auction.” I lift my gaze to Xander’s. He looks indifferent. “I asked him where my sister was, and he said, ‘one of the most prestigious auctions,’ whatever that means. He didn’t give me a location or even tell me when it is. But if my sister is in danger, then I need to save her and maybe you can find your father in the process.”
“There’s no saving your sister, Mouse, and my father is not stupid enough to be anywhere near that auction.”
“Xander, I have to save her,” I plead, hoping that it’s okay to call him by his name now.
“No, Mouse, you don’t. If she is lucky, she’ll die before she’s sold to anyone.”
I don’t believe him. I cannot. I’ll find a way out. I’ll survive.
“As for our agreement, I can’t promise you anything.” He exhales a ragged breath.
I can see the conflict in his eyes. “The things I’m guessing my father told you he’d do to you, I’ll most likely end up doing. I’m not a good man, Mouse. I don’t treasure things, and I care for no one. And just because I fuck you, it doesn’t mean you’ll make it out of this alive.”
My chest heaves; panic grips me. I want to run so badly my legs beg me onward, but my brain… my brain tells me to stay in place. He thinks he is like his father, but I know better. I may be naive but I’m not stupid. He wouldn’t do the things his father threatened me with.
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be. Just please… don’t kill me. Let me go so I can try to find my sister.” I drop my gaze down to my hands in front of me. I feel weak begging, but what else is th
ere to do? After all of this, I just wish to come out alive, and to eventually find my baby sister.
“Get on your knees,” he orders, and my eyes snap up to his instantly.
“Wh-what?” I stutter.
“Get. On. Your. Knees.” He enunciates every single word through his teeth, and I follow his directions, dropping to the floor. My knees land, and sweat starts to form on my hands. I’m terrified, and my stomach tightens with the unknown. Xander moves from the bed, coming to stand directly in front of me. His large frame is intimidating, and I have to stop myself from backpedaling.
He peers down at me, a smirk that would scare even the devil appearing on his lips. “You want to live, Mouse? Then you need to prove to me your worthiness. Give me a reason to keep you around for a bit.”
I gulp and nod in understanding as he reaches for the belt of his expensive suit. Panic stirs inside me, but I tamp it down, knowing it’s either this or death.
“Have you ever sucked a cock? Ever been choked by one?” He undoes his belt, flicking the button on his pants. I see a sliver of toned flesh as his pants hang low against his hips. I clench my thighs together at the feelings surging through me.
Lust. Desire. Two emotions I’ve never felt even once in my life.
I shake my head, my cheeks heating with embarrassment at his questions. Taking one of his large hands, he reaches for my face, tucking some still wet hair behind my ear. The simple touch is somehow comforting in all of this, and I have to fight the urge to lean into his hand.
“You really are an innocent little mouse.” His hand ghosts down my face until he reaches my chin. Holding it between his thumb and his index finger, he tilts my face upward.
“Open your mouth,” he orders, and I obey without hesitation. “No teeth, just your tongue, your lips, and your hands.” I try and nod but his grip on my chin is firm, reminding me has all the control now.
With his other hand, he unzips his zipper and his pants fall the floor. My eyes widen at the very large, very scary penis pointed directly at me.
“If you bite me, I will kill you. Now don’t act so frightened and get to sucking.”
I exhale sharply. Instead of forcing my head onto his cock like I thought he would, he lets go of my chin and waits for me to act.
I gulp down all the fear running rampant throughout my body and lean forward. Opening my mouth real wide, I stick out my tongue and take the tip of his penis into my mouth. It’s warm and much smoother than I thought it would be.
I close my lips around him and swirl my tongue, testing the feeling. I peek up at him, trying to gauge his reaction but his eyes are closed like he is concentrating really hard on not losing control. I try to move down, taking more of him inside of my mouth.
I take more, as far as I can until my gag reflex kicks in. I panic, realizing I still don’t have even half of him inside my mouth. Then I remember he said I can use my hands as well. While continuing to suck on the upper part of his penis, I wrap my small shaky hand around the base of his shaft and squeeze it gently.
For a moment, I wonder if I am doing this right? Xander hasn’t complained yet, nor has he moved, and his eyes remain shut, his body like a statue.
What if he isn’t enjoying it? What if this is my one chance to show him why he shouldn’t kill me?
Realizing just how true my fears might be, I stroke him up and down… synchronizing my hand with how I take him into my mouth. I make sure every inch of his cock gets pleasure and when I feel him flex inside my grip and an almost inaudible grunt escapes his lips, I assume I’m doing something right.
Knowing this makes me feel like I have all the power… which is ridiculous since I’m the one on my knees, pleasing him. But it gives me the ego boost I need to continue.
I tighten my grip just a little and pick up the pace. I feel him flex his hips again and taste a small amount of saltiness on my tongue. I continue sucking and stroking him, putting my all into every single suck and stroke. My jaw starts to ache, and my knees dig painfully into the floor, but I don’t care. I peek up at him again… and this time, I’m surprised to find his eyes are open.
He reaches out and cradles the side of my face, as if to comfort me. Just as I feel him flex a final time inside of my mouth, his whole body goes tense, a groan of pleasure escapes his lips, and his eyes close momentarily. I stare up at him, watching the blissful moment take place, wishing he always looked as peaceful as he does right now.
Hot salty liquid fills my mouth, and I instinctively swallow it. It doesn’t taste bad, but it’s not pleasant either. I release him from my mouth with a loud pop that echoes through the room. My cheeks flame red when I realize I’ve just made a man come for the first time.
“It seems you’ll live to see another day, Mouse.” His voice is cool, satisfied, and I realize that I’ve done that for him. I’ve given him pleasure. I’m so happy I almost smile. I proved myself to be useful even if it’s just with my body. Maybe I should be ashamed of what I just did but oddly, I am not. Even more absurd is the fact that I enjoyed pleasuring Xander.
Before I can make a move and get up on my own, he leans down and picks me up like a child, just to deposit me onto the bed. I blink very slowly, trying to comprehend what is taking place. He removes his button-up shirt and tosses it to the floor.
I grip onto the sheets when he slides into the bed beside me. He’s naked, and I have no panties on. The fact that I just gave him a blow job means nothing when I all but signed my virginity over to him. I tense slightly. I know it’s going to happen so I might as well let him do it.
“Sleep. That’s all we’re doing tonight. You’ve proven yourself useful for now, but tomorrow you’ll have to prove yourself again, and each day it will get harder and harder for me to see your worth to me. That is unless you’re exceptional at fucking.”
My chest constricts at his words, and when he tucks me into his side, I shiver. He pulls the rumpled comforter up and over us, and I feel the warmth of his body seep into every single bone in my body. For a moment, I think he must be playing a cruel joke on me. Letting me sleep in his bed with him, cuddling and keeping me warm and comfortable. It almost seems too good to be true, but he makes no move to make me think otherwise.
“Goodnight,” he whispers into the hollow of my neck. And for a moment, I think I must have heard him wrong. My eyes start to drift closed very slowly, and even though I know I shouldn’t… I feel safe, completely safe in this monster of a man’s arms.
He said he was going to hurt me, but then he didn’t. He said he was just like his dad, but he is nothing like him at all. He’s killed for me, guided me instead of taking from me, and if that’s not worthy of feeling safe then I’m not sure what is. Xander might think he’s a monster, but I just can’t see that that’s all he is.
I close my eyes and drift off immediately, cuddled up in this comfortable bed.
I don’t know how long I’m asleep but when I wake, I’m uncomfortably hot. Xander’s arm is still slung over me and the heavy comforter on top hardly lets any body heat escape. My throat is painfully dry. I just need to get some water.
I wiggle myself out of the bed, trying not to wake him up. It’s completely dark in the room now and I have to find my way to the bathroom by patting softly around. Sleep still makes my limbs heavy, and I can feel myself sway while walking.
When I finally get to the bathroom, I close the door very quietly behind me and flip on the light switch. The brightness instantly blinding me, I squeeze my eyes shut until they adjust.
I walk to the sink and dare to look in the mirror. Just like I expected, I look terrible. My cheek is an ugly blueish purple, my hair is an uncombed mess, my eyes are bloodshot, and my stupid wrists are painfully swollen now.
I turn on the cold water and splash some in my face before getting a drink straight from the faucet.
Why am I so hot?
Even the cold water didn’t cool me down. I’m still really… really hot. My whole body, even my eyeballs feel hot
. Shaking my head, I turn off the water and turn back to the door when something occurs to me… I’m not tied up or locked in. I don't think Xander’s locked the room behind us.
I stand like a statue in the bathroom, a million thoughts running through my mind. Should I try to get away? Should I believe Xander’s words and be scared for my life or should I trust my gut about him? This might be the only chance I get to get away… and all I can think about is my sister possibly dying at the hands of more vile men.
I have to run.
I should run.
Chapter 6
Xander
I wake up in my bed like most mornings. Still, I know right away that something is off. I open my eyes to find it’s already light outside. Rays of sunshine coming through the window make small specks of dust dance in the air.
I suck in a deep breath and catch the lingering sweet scent of a woman.
Shit!
I jump out of my bed, scanning the empty room. Where the fuck did she go? I pull on my pants and run out to the hallway. I’m so fucking angry right now I want to punch through the wall. I march down to the front door, ready to kill something. My guards are standing post exactly where they're supposed to be.
“Did anyone see the girl trying to leave?” I growl at them.
“No, boss, no one tried to leave.”
“You two have been here all night?” I question angrily. How could I have been so dumb to think she wouldn't try and escape?
At their nods, my anger reaches new heights. “Search the house… every fucking inch and if I find out you let her get away, I’ll kill you myself.”
They both spring into action, headed in different directions, while I run back upstairs annoyed as fuck. Where the hell is she? I make it back to the room and look around again. Did she take anything? I don’t think she did. Even my gun is in the drawer of my bedside table. Wouldn’t that be the first thing you take? Maybe her intention wasn't to harm me? Maybe she just wanted to leave? Hell, there is no maybe about it. She wanted to leave. She begged to leave. I pull on a pair of jeans and a shirt, taking my gun and my phone.
