by J. L. Beck
He didn’t want to hurt me. I felt it in his touch and heard it in the pitch of his voice. I’m safe here and after our agreement is done, after I’d given myself to him, I’ll walk away free. I tell myself this over and over again, because if I don’t, I’m going to break down into a sobbing mess. Xander hadn’t promised me anything, but I felt deep down in my heart that he will let me go.
He’s an evil man, but I’m starting to realize I am his kryptonite. Snuggling deeper into myself, I close my eyes, trying to force myself to go to sleep, since that seems to be the only way out of here at the moment.
I only doze off for a few minutes before the sound of approaching footsteps has me sitting straight up on the cot, my eyes open and my body on high alert.
Who is coming? Is it another one of his men? The thought makes me feel dirty.
My heart rate picks up with every step I hear echo throughout the basement until finally Xander comes into view. I take a relaxing breath the moment I see him, but that relaxation is short lived. He is still angry. I can see it in his eyes, though the fury from earlier has simmered. He’s still mad, and that’s something to watch out for.
I trust Xander, even though I shouldn’t. After all, he’s given me no real reason not to.
I watch eagerly as he pulls out a set of keys and unlocks the cell. I want to jump up and fall into his arms, but I don’t want to be too hasty. He might not even be here to get me. So, instead, I just wait motionless on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to say something.
When he doesn’t, a nervous knot starts to form in my belly. Is he going to leave me down here all night? I want to plead with him, start begging him, but I remember his words, his desire to hurt me if I didn’t shut up. Shock fills me when he strolls across the floor and bends down to pick me up, sliding one arm under my legs and the other under my shoulders.
I put my arms around him and bury my face into the crook of his neck, taking in a deep breath, letting his unique scent fill my nose. My freezing skin on his warm body drives all my coldness away and replaces it with warmth.
“I know you want me to believe you’re a horrible man, but I don’t. I feel safe with you,” I whisper into his skin, near his ear.
He stiffens but continues walking. “You’re the only person I know that would say that they feel safe in my presence.” His voice booms loudly in my ears.
“I do.” I swallow. “I know I shouldn’t. I know this is fucked up on so many levels, but I do, and I want you to know that…” I gaze down at his shirt-clad chest. “I didn’t mean to scare you with your… son.”
Xander’s grip on my body tightens just as we reach the bedroom, and he deposits me onto the mattress. Then he walks over to the dresser and grabs something before going into the bathroom with a cup. I hear the faucet turn on and assume he’s getting a glass of water. When he appears before me a few seconds later with his hand extended outward with the glass of water and a little white pill, I take them from him.
He watches me intently as I take them. I shiver at his eyes upon my skin, they mark every inch of my skin with heat.
“My son means the most to me, and you discovering him has ruined our perfectly integrated plans.”
My eyes widen at his words. “What do you mean? I thought we had an agreement?”
The dim lighting in the room makes it hard to gauge Xander’s expression but when I see the evil smirk on his lips, I know something has changed. He walks over to the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed and pulls something out. When he walks back over to me, I catch a glimpse of the item in his hands.
Handcuffs? Is this it? Is he just going to take from me, before finally putting a bullet in my head? How could I be so stupid? Why did I leave the room? He had been so kind to me… kinder than his father ever would’ve been.
“I see your brain conjuring up all kinds of things.” His voice sounds dangerous, and when I move back slowly onto the mattress, he's right there invading my space. He’s huge, and intimidating and as I move, the shirt I’m wearing rides up my thighs.
My eyes move up his body, stopping once they reach his dark orbs, but he won't meet my eyes and that terrifies me more than I care to admit. “Last time someone tied me to the bed it wasn’t all that fun.”
“And I can’t promise that this time is going to be fun either.” He snatches my arm and slaps the cuff on me over my still-bandaged wrist, attaching it to the headboard. I know better than to fight. The metal will only dig into my wound, and maybe that's what he wants, me helpless, unable to fight him off. Then he takes the other cuff and tightens it on my other wrist.
Panic floods my body along with memories from the night I was at Xander’s father’s mercy. The things he said to me. The way he touched me. I suck in a ragged breath and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to forget that day completely.
“You know I can never let you leave now, right?”
My eyes fly back open. “What do you mean? What about the arrangement?”
“It’s still on… partially at least. I can let you live, but I can’t let you walk out of here, not with you knowing about my son. I won’t be able to let you leave… ever.”
I take a moment for his words to sink in. Am I supposed to stay the rest of my life in this room? How am I going to find my sister if I’m trapped here? There's no way I'll stay here. I’ll escape or I'll die trying. I keep the thought to myself, burying it momentarily.
“So, you’ll just keep me tied up in your bed like a sex slave?” I spit the words, anger filling my belly. Xander’s hot and cold behavior confuses me. Every time I think I know what to expect from him, he surprises me.
“Until I get my fill of you, yes. Then I’ll most likely pass you on to someone else. Probably one of my guards. It merely depends on how tight your pussy holds my cock.”
Bile rises in my throat at his words. If there is any thought worse than being at Xander’s mercy, it is being passed around like a slab of meat. I don’t want anybody else touching me. This is not the deal we made. If I have to give myself to someone then I want it to be Xander.
“I want you, no one else.” I make my desire for him apparent, spreading my legs slightly. I watch his gaze move over my bare legs and my spread thighs.
“I don't think you know what you're asking for right now, Mouse.”
I visibly gulp, because he's right. I don't. But I also don't want to die, not before I get a chance to find my sister.
“I probably don't, but I don't want to die, and I don’t want someone besides you to touch me. If I'm no use to you then I'm as good as dead and being dead isn't going to help me find my sister.” I confess the words so quietly, as if they're a sin. “Just let me go eventually, please.”
“You'll stay here however long I say… I might not have told you to stay in this room, but you should've known better. Instead, you took my kindness for something else. So, you'll remain mine until I say otherwise.” His words sting, and I'm not sure why. It's not like they're not true.
“As for your sister, I have a small hunch on where she's going to be, and I'll be taking a trip in a few days to see if my hunch is correct.”
I shoot into a sitting position, the cuff digging painfully into my wrist as I do so. I let out a low hiss, pushing the pain away.
“You know where she is?” Excitement bubbles to the surface. “You’ve been looking for her?”
Xander’s face remains placid as he starts taking off his clothing, stripping down to nothing but a pair of boxers. My mouth waters and for a moment, I forget what we were talking about. His muscles look as if they've been carved from stone. I want to touch them.
Xander’s voice breaks the hold his body has on my mind, pulling me back into the conversation. “I believe I know where she is, but you shouldn't get your hopes up. She could be dead. Women don't last long in this world, especially not the innocent type.”
My heart aches at the thought of my sister being dead. We've lost everyone we ever loved, all we have left is each ot
her. Losing her would be… I can't even fathom it. It occurs to me then… the auction. He's going to go to the auction… that’s the only place he could be going, right? Unless the auction’s past?
“She's not dead. She’s strong and smart. If anyone can make it, it's her.” I think back to how Xander's father said the same thing… how she'll wish for death in the end.
I pretend to act blissfully unaware, but I won't let him leave here without me. Wherever he is going, he is taking me with him. A chuckle escapes Xander’s kissable lips as he crawls into bed on the other side, pulling me flush against his body. I can feel the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of my shirt.
“Those are the most fun parts to break,” he whispers into my ear, sending a flurry of goosebumps across my skin.
“If it's the most fun then why haven't you broken me? Why haven't you just taken what you want? You've had the chance many times.”
The thick black comforter is pulled up over us, encompassing our warmth beneath it. Xander doesn't respond right away and for a moment, I think he won't.
“Breaking you would be no fun to me, Mouse… because I don't want you broken. I don't want to take from you. I want to give to you…”
I squeeze my thighs together, remembering the pleasure he gave me.
“But make no mistake. If you betray my trust. If you share anything about my son with anyone outside of this home… I'll do more than break you… I'll make you wish I pulled that trigger on the first day we met.”
“I won’t…” I pause momentarily, feeling my heart beat out of my chest. “I wouldn't ever endanger the life of a child.”
Xander wraps an arm around me, burrowing his face into my neck, “Good, because his mother tried that and, as you can see, she's no longer with us.”
His words startle me. “You… killed her?” I don't even want to know the answer to that question. When his lips ghost against my skin, I nearly moan out in pleasure.
“Yes, and if I'm willing to kill my son’s mother to protect him, there is no saying what I'll do to you.”
“What did she do?” I don’t even know why I'm asking. I don’t really want to know why he killed her, but something inside me needs to know.
“She tried to use our son against me… it didn’t help that she never should’ve gotten pregnant in the first place, but I found out before I killed her just how she managed to do so. She was no one to me, and I kept her alive for my son. I tried to do the right thing, and she used my kindness against me.” Parts of me feel sorry for Xander, while other parts of me want to escape this room and run very far away.
“I’d never hurt your son,” I murmur. Truthfully, I never would. He’s nothing but a baby. He didn’t ask to be born and my anger toward his father isn’t his fault.
“You say that now, but you have yet to discover how dark I can get. You have yet discover just how powerful I am. What happens when I hurt you and you want to get even with me? What happens?”
“Nothing.”
“Why nothing, Mouse?” I can hear the curiosity in his tone. My eyes start to feel heavy as I lay beside him. I’m protected, secure, and for at least right now, safe.
“Because you won’t hurt me, Xander. We both know that. No matter how dark you are, you won’t hurt me,” I whisper, feeling myself slowly fade into the abyss.
Xander’s hot breath fans against my cheek, his scent surrounds me, and I sink deeper into it, breathing him in heavily.
“You're right, I don’t think I would hurt you either. Because it would break you and breaking you, Mouse, would be my biggest mistake.” This time, his words are nothing more than a whisper in my ear, but they cling to me, and sink deep into my heart.
***
Just like the first night I slept in his bed, I wake up with Xander curled around my body. The only thing that is different today is that my arm is stretched out across the headboard where the handcuff is keeping it in place.
I wonder if he is going to cuff me every night now. He wouldn't have to… not now that he is helping me find my sister. Lying awake like this has me asking myself a number of questions. Like where did Xander sleep when I was lying sick in his bed? Did he just lie down next to me or did he sleep somewhere else?
My thoughts dissolve into thin air when Xander stirs beside me, pulling me in closer to his chest. I feel his stiff erection press into my backside, and I wonder if I should be scared?
“I like waking up like this… with you at my complete disposal,” he whispers into my ear, sleep coating his voice. His hand finds my hip and pulls my ass into his groin. My body stiffens in panic. Is this it? Am I about to lose my virginity?
“Don’t worry, Mouse, I’ll give you another day to heal. I want you to be good and well when I fuck you.” He peels himself away from me and gets up from the bed. A moment later, he is back with the handcuff key. He unlocks them but leaves them hanging at the headboard. I rub at my wrists as soon as they’re free.
“Go use the bathroom,” he orders.
I do as he says and disappear into the bathroom. I do my business, wash my face, and brush my teeth with the new toothbrush Xander has laid out for me. Dread sinks deep into my belly. The thought of going back into the bedroom knowing that he is going to cuff me back to the bed makes me sick, but I can’t hide in here forever.
So, with a sigh, I step out and find Xander waiting for me in the same spot I left him. I force my feet to move even though I don’t want to. I get back on the bed and crawl over to him. I lift my gaze to his, praying but knowing he won’t leave me uncuffed.
“You don’t have to keep me cuffed to the bed. I won’t leave the room,” I say but give him my hand anyway.
He takes it without giving me a response, tightening the cuff around my wrist. “I have some work to do and I can’t worry about you while I’m doing it. It’s either the cuffs or the cell.”
I just nod, the answer to his question is obvious. I don’t want to go back into that basement... not after watching him kill that man. I sit back against the pillows and watch him get dressed. My mouth waters slightly. I know I shouldn't be attracted to him, but I can't help it. His body looks as if it is cut from stone, each muscle just as defined as the next.
“I’ll bring you up some breakfast in a bit.” He leaves the room. As soon as he is gone, the room feels empty and cold. I feel alone, but it’s not the same kind of alone I’ve experienced in the last month. No, this kind of alone is different.
It’s like I’m lost, unsafe, without him here, which is crazy, considering he’s the one who’s threatened to kill me numerous times. I can't wrap my head around the things I'm feeling. I pull the blanket around me with my free hand and curl up into myself, wondering if he is ever going to trust me again.
I spend the whole day in bed, which isn't terrible, considering I'm not feeling one hundred percent yet. Xander comes and goes throughout the day, bringing me meals and uncuffing me so I can go to the bathroom. I crave his company more than I realize. Every single time he leaves, I catch myself wishing he was here in bed with me. It’s a strange feeling to have for someone you know could and most likely will harm you. But his company excites me. Every time I hear the creaking of the door or heavy footfalls, I get excited.
Then when he opens the door and I see him, I can’t help but smile. He doesn’t smile back at me, but I swear I can see it in his eyes… he is happy to see me, too. The hours seem to pass by as slow as molasses. I doze off here and there, awakening when he finally comes back to the room that night. I watch him take his clothes off in the dim lighting. He doesn't say anything to me right away and that's okay. It's not his words I really care to have, it’s just his company. When he crawls under the blanket and pulls me into his side, I shiver.
“Tomorrow, Mouse… Tomorrow I will be inside of you. I can’t wait any longer...and I won't. I need to make you mine.”
“Okay, tomorrow.” My belly tightens at the thought but only partially in fear. I don't want to think about tomorrow
right now. “I wish you could have stayed in bed with me today.”
There's a long pause, and I feel his nose burrow into my hair. He inhales my scent as if he needs it and that makes me safe, secure.
“Trust me, I would have liked that, too, but I had to make sure everything was is in order for us to leave tomorrow. I had to make sure my son is going to be protected when I’m gone. And then I needed to make sure we had enough men going tomorrow so that you would be protected.”
A smile tugs at my lips. Once again, I am reminded that there is a man, a good man beneath the armored plate of murder and mayhem that is Xander.
There’s a man who wants to be loved, a man who can be loved, if he allows it. Knowing that makes me want to do my best to reach that part of him because regardless of everything that’s happened, he’s trying his best to save me. He’s trying his best to protect the people he loves from the darkness of his world.
And whether he thinks so or not, he's worth trying to save.
Chapter 10
Xander
I wake up slowly, the warmth of Mouse’s body beside mine. She is still sleeping, her body relaxed and molded perfectly into my embrace. My dick is rock hard, pressing up against her soft ass. I told her yesterday I would give her another day to heal…
Well, time’s up, my little mouse. I slide my boxers down and kick them off under the blanket before I pull her back into my embrace.
With a grin, I slide my hand underneath the shirt she is wearing, my fingers gently stroking the perfectly smooth skin underneath it. Her skin is so soft, so untouched. I trail over her flat belly… all the way up to her perky little tits. I palm one, enjoying how well it fits in my hand.
She’s the perfect fit, from the way her body reacts to mine, to the way she believes in me, like I’m some knight in shining armor.
A low moan fills the room and she pushes her ass into my hardness, probably not even realizing she is doing it. Still, knowing she reacts to my touch this way makes me smile. Plucking at her small nipple, I roll it gently between my thumb and pointer finger, drawing yet another moan out of her.
