He had been drinking his wine, now looking at her as he set the cup down. “You would like to… see me again?”
She didn’t catch his meaning, not at first. “Of course,” she said. “I enjoyed myself a great deal today. I do not think I have laughed so much in a very long time.”
He sighed, long and slow, and sat back in his chair. “I do not get to London often at all,” he said. “There is no guarantee I will ever see you again once I leave this city, so can we please dispense with this guessing game you wish to play? Won’t you please tell me your name and where you live so that I may call upon you once we leave London?”
Her good humor fled. God, it would have been so easy for her to agree with him and tell him everything, but as long as he just knew her as Gavriella… he could pretend she was anything he wanted her to be.
But if he knew the truth…
After a moment, she averted her gaze, looking at her lap. She was trying to find words he might understand because she had to stop fooling herself. Maybe she was willing to pretend she was normal and that Andreas would make a fine husband, but that had only been for the moment.
That moment was up.
“This day has been one of the most remarkable days I have ever known,” she said softly. “I was free to be myself, with no hint of where I have come from. My lord, if you…”
“Andreas.”
Her head came up. “What?”
His gaze was fixed steadily on her. “My name is Andreas,” he said. “My friends and family call me Dray. That is what I wish for you to call me.”
She took a deep breath and lowered her gaze again. “Dray,” she said quietly. “You are a truly extraordinary man. I have never known anyone like you.”
“Then come to know me better,” he said, a hint of pleading in his tone. “Is there something about me you do not like, Gavriella? Something that prevents you from telling me where you live? If you do not want me to call upon you, you merely need to say so. I will not ask again.”
“Nay, it is not that,” she said quickly. “I would like nothing better. But you are a fine knight and you deserve better than someone like me. Please do not ask me more, for I cannot tell you. What I can tell you is that I am not married and I am not betrothed. I never shall be, you see, so it would do no good for you to call upon me. I am not meant for… marriage.”
He stared at her a moment, frowning. “What does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said.”
He continued staring at her until a ripple of realization crossed his face. “Do you mean that you are meant for the veil?”
He’d just given her a reason for her refusal. She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of it before. It would discourage him but not insult him. But it was so very heartbreaking to latch on to that excuse and use it.
She had to force herself.
“Aye,” she said, tearing up. “That is why… why you cannot… and I can never… as much as I would like to. Please believe me… I would like nothing better.”
He was still frowning, digesting what she was telling him. “But why?”
She blinked, trying to stave off the tears. “Because… because my father wishes it,” she said. “I wish it, too. At least, I did. Dray, you will make someone a wonderful husband. I am so very sorry that it cannot be me.”
That was God’s truth. She lowered her head again, genuinely trying not to weep. She caught movement out of the corners of her eyes, realizing he was pushing a cup of wine in her direction. She took it gratefully and drained half the cup.
“Gavriella,” he said after several long moments. “Would your father reconsider? I would very much like to speak to him.”
She couldn’t look at him. “Please,” she begged softly. “You are just making this more difficult. I… I told you that, sometimes, people hide a great deal. You have only known me such a very short time and my life is already set. You cannot change it.”
He didn’t say anything. She kept her head down, looking at the cup in her hands, when he abruptly stood up. She thought he was leaving the table, perhaps going to pay for their meal, when he suddenly came around the side of the table and pulled up a chair right next to hers. Sitting down, he took the cup out of her hands and clasped them both in his big, warm palms.
“I know that I have only known you for a very short time,” he said quietly. “Too short. I met you last night and we have not exactly had an easy time of it, but you must know something about me. I am not a man who has an easy relationship with women. I am old for a man who has never been married or betrothed and I realize that, but it was because I never found a woman that I felt any manner of attraction with. At least, not enough to marry. A woman who laughed so freely at fools beating on one another or who uses an iron poker to defend me from an attacker. I am not sure how to say this, so I shall come out with it. I see a sunrise in you, a new day, and I do not want to see that sun set. Does that make any sense? It is not the shortness of the hours I have known you. Sometimes, one simply knows when someone comes into their life that they do not want to let go.”
Gavriella was taken aback by his words and proximity. He was sitting so close to her that she could feel the heat from his body, but it was nothing compared to the heat from his eyes.
She wanted so badly to give in.
“But… but people hide things…”
“I do not care what you are hiding.”
Her eyebrows flew up. “You cannot say such things,” she said, feeling the tears again. “You do not know anything about me. I have endured things that you cannot imagine and I am beyond your reach. Please, Andreas… you are sweet and honorable and beautiful. But do not ask me again.”
He reached out, cupping her soft cheeks, before leaning forward to kiss her gently on the lips. It was enough to bring a gasp of pain from her, pain and elation and utter joy, and he kissed her again to silence her. He wanted to kiss her fears way because he could see that she was full of them.
“Please,” he murmured. “Just tell me who you are and where you live. Let me at least speak to your father.”
Her eyes opened, bright with tears. “You do not know what you are asking.”
His thumbs caressed her cheeks. “I am a grown man,” he said. “And you have warned me, but it has not frightened me away. Tell me, Gavriella. Please.”
He kissed her again and she broke down, her hands coming up to touch his face. He kissed her fingers, her palms, her cheeks, as she quietly wept. She was so overwhelmed she could hardly speak, unable to deny him, unable to agree with him. She didn’t know what she wanted.
Her head was telling her one thing, but her heart was telling her another.
“I… must think on it,” she murmured. “Please let me think.”
“I will,” he said, kissing her tender wrists. “We shall meet here again, tomorrow morning, and you will tell me what I want to know. Will you promise?”
He was kissing her arm, peeling back the shift and the red sleeve, tenderly kissing her flesh. Gavriella’s heart was racing so that she could hardly breathe, but she managed to nod her head.
It was all she could do.
“I promise you that I will consider everything,” she said breathlessly. “Let me go home and sleep on it.”
“But you will meet me here in the morning.”
“I will, I promise.”
He smiled, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. “That’s my good lass,” he said. “I’ll take you home now, but I will be here first thing in the morning and if you do not come to me right away, I will go and find you.”
She swallowed hard, trying to recover her composure. “You must not,” she said. “I do not know how my aunt will react to a man coming to call upon me, so please do not come to The Asher. It might get us both into trouble. Wait for me here. I will come as soon as I can.”
“Swear this to me.”
“I swear.”
That seemed good enough for him. He pulled her out of her chair, but
she was so wobbly kneed from his attention that it took her a while to regain her balance. They were out on the street, heading for The Asher, before she could walk a straight line again.
Andreas held her tightly the entire time.
By the time The Asher was in sight, Gavriella was feeling stronger. She tried to disengage herself from him, but he wouldn’t let go of her hand. He kept kissing it until she finally had to gently but firmly pull away, smiling apologetically at him.
But he understood.
Andreas came to a halt across the street from The Asher, watching Gavriella cross the avenue and head to the entry door. When she turned to look at him, a final glimpse, he blew a kiss at her and she gave him a small wave. Her gaze lingered on him as the armed guards at the heavily fortified door opened for her, admitting her inside.
Once she was out of view, Andreas headed off to Lothbury.
But he was already wishing that it was tomorrow morning.
“Gavriella? Come here.”
Gavriella had just put a foot on the bottom of the stairs leading to the floor above when she heard her aunt’s stern voice. She looked over to see the woman standing in the archway that led from the entry hall into the great hall, a severe-looking woman with a tight, white wimple and dark, perfect robes. There wasn’t a thread out of place. Cold and emotionless, much like Gavriella’s father was, Drucilla de Kennet, Countess of Blackburn, was a formidable woman.
Already, Gavriella was on her guard.
Her heart began to pound.
“Greetings, Auntie,” she said, coming off the stairs and heading in her direction. “How may I be of service?”
Drucilla turned her back on her niece and walked into the great hall. Gavriella followed, noting that the hall was vacant except for a guard standing over near the hearth.
As Gavriella drew closer, she recognized the man.
He had opened the door for her at noon when she’d gone to meet Andreas.
She braced herself.
“Gavriella,” Drucilla said sternly. “I am told that you left here around the nooning meal and have only now returned. Tell me where you have been all afternoon.”
Since the guard was there, Gavriella knew it would be of no use to lie. The man had seen her leave and had evidently told her aunt. At that moment, she decided then and there that she was going to be completely truthful. In truth, she’d done nothing wrong except go off with a man, unescorted. There were technicalities to that, such as not asking her aunt’s permission or borrowing Camilla’s dress, but Gavriella wasn’t going to lie about it.
She wasn’t the lying type.
“I went across the bridge, Auntie,” she said. “There is an area over there with food and entertainment. I went to see the plays.”
“Did you go alone?”
“Nay, Auntie.”
“Who did you go with?”
“A knight named Andreas.”
“Andreas what?”
Gavriella shook her head. “I do not know his family name, Auntie,” she said. “But he is very kind and polite. We saw two biblical plays and then two more with fools. In one play, they even threw candy. It was very entertaining.”
“I saw her, Mama!” Aurelia was suddenly entering the great hall, having just come from her bedchamber on the upper floor. Her gaze on Gavriella was loathsome. “I saw her leave with him earlier today and, just now, I saw them return together. Just now! He blew her a kiss!”
Gavriella was starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. With Aurelia there, it was all coming to light. Now she knew why her aunt was so quick to condemn her – Aurelia, whom she thought was asleep when she had left earlier that day, evidently hadn’t been asleep at all. Her greatest fear was realized when it occurred to her that Aurelia had seen her leave with Andreas and had then run straight to her mother with the information.
After the argument they’d had earlier, Gavriella knew that Aurelia was trying to get her into trouble, or worse. Gavriella didn’t know her aunt well and all sorts of terrible things went through her mind – punishment, restriction – perhaps even a beating. There was no telling what her aunt would do to her with Aurelia poisoning her ear.
But if she went down, she was going to take Aurelia with her.
“Before Aurelia fills your head with lies against me, please let me explain,” Gavriella said calmly. “Sir Andreas was perfectly polite and proper. He knew I had not been in London very long and offered to escort me to the place across the river where they have plays. I very much wanted to see the entertainment. We saw them, he bought me a meal, and he returned me home safely. That is really all there is to it.”
Drucilla eyed her a moment before crossing her arms stiffly. “You should have asked permission, Gavriella,” she said. “If everything was proper, as you say, then why did you not tell me where you were going? Why did you run off and not tell anyone where you had gone?”
She had a point and, in this case, Gavriella wasn’t sure she wanted to tell her the truth of it. She didn’t ask permission for obvious reasons – she didn’t want to be denied.
She said the first thing that came to mind.
“I suppose I did not want to trouble you, Auntie,” she said, trying to sound contrite. “I thought I could go and not be missed and you would not be troubled at all. I never meant to be any trouble to you, I promise.”
“She’s lying,” Aurelia spat. She jabbed a finger at her. “Look at her! She has stolen Camilla’s dress. Camilla didn’t know anything about it at all. She’s a thief and a liar, Mama. There is no telling what she did with that… that man.”
Drucilla just stood there and shook her head at the behavior of her niece, wagging it back and forth. “Is this true, Gavriella?” she asked. “I did not want to believe what was in your father’s missive, but how can I not believe it when I see the evidence right before my eyes?”
Gavriella was still eyeing Aurelia dangerously. “What evidence, Auntie?” she asked. “What do you mean?”
Drucilla uncrossed her arms and went to sit at the feasting table. She sat at the end, so heavily that the chair creaked, and immediately poured herself some wine.
“Sneaking out to meet a man,” she said. “Your father told me what happened to you. He told me that you fornicated with a man and bore a child as a result. He told me that you needed my guidance to mend your ways but, already, you are doing here what you did at your father’s home. You are off meeting strange men and doing God only knows what with them. Well, Child? What do you have to say to all of this? I cannot have your terrible influence around my daughters, Gavriella.”
Gavriella was pale with shock that her aunt should speak so freely of that horrible event that had ruined her life. She said it in front of Aurelia, no less, who was staring at Gavriella in shock before assuming a gloating expression.
That threw Gavriella over the edge.
“Did my father tell you that I was abducted and beaten and raped?” she asked, her voice beginning to tremble. “I had no control over the men who abducted me from the village and assaulted me. I did not willingly fornicate with anyone, I assure you, Auntie. My father is embarrassed and frightened by what happened, so he sent me here so that he would not have to look at me. I was not a willing partner in anything, Aunt Drucilla, certainly nothing like your daughters are when they sneak out of your home in the middle of the night to attend a guild called Gomorrah where they kiss and dance with men they do not know, and I am sure they have done much more than that.”
Drucilla’s expression went from one of severity to one of shock. “They what?”
Gavriella was going for the proverbial throat. “Did you even know Aurelia leaves your house nightly to go to this place?” she said “You should ask the guards on night watch. Or mayhap you should watch for yourself. If anything, I do not need the horrible and scandalous influence of your daughters, who are shaming the House of de Kennet every single night.”
She was nearly shouting by the time she was finished, poin
ting fingers at Aurelia, who let out a scream of shock and fear and anger. Drucilla was on her feet, looking between Gavriella and her daughter in horror.
“Silence!” Drucilla bellowed, holding out a hand to stop Gavriella’s rant. “This is not about my daughters! How dare you say such… such terrible things about them!”
Gavriella wasn’t going to back down. “Ask them,” she said through clenched teeth. “Ask Camilla. Ask the guards who watch the postern gate at night because they let us pass most easily, which tells me that Aurelia is either paying them to look the other way or she is fucking them to keep them quiet. I am not the sinner here, Aunt Drucilla. Tend to the whores in your own house before you accuse my house of being dirty!”
Aurelia screamed and ran at her, hands like claws. Gavriella saw her coming and, after having beaten an armed knight in the head only hours earlier, she was ready for her petty, weak cousin. As Aurelia drew close, she lashed out an open palm, catching the woman in the face and sending her tumbling. Aurelia crashed into the chairs and ended up on the floor as Gavriella pounced, grabbing her by the hair.
“Tell her what you do every night!” Gavriella cried. “Tell her how you sneak out and let men kiss your mouth and fondle your breasts! Tell her what a whore you are!”
Aurelia was screaming. “Let me go!” she said. “You have ruined everything, you stupid chit!”
Drucilla was on top of them, trying to separate them, but she didn’t have the strength and Gavriella was surprisingly strong. She called out to the guard near the hearth and he stepped in, grabbing Gavriella around the waist and yanking her off her cousin. But not before Gavriella came away with a handful of red hair.
WolfeBlade: de Wolfe Pack Generations Page 19
