by Kat Mizera
I’m writing this and plan to give it to your father to hold on to until the time is right. I feel a little foolish right now, thinking about what your wedding dress might look like and how many children you might have—you do want them, don’t you? You’ve been talking about joining the Marines and it worries me, but you’ve wanted to do that for years and you’re only 15. I probably won’t ever get to see you in your uniform, which really bothers me, but I know you’ll do well no matter which direction you go…
The letter went on to talk about her hopes and dreams for her daughter and her wish that Erin forgive her for leaving her so soon. Erin read it twice and then swiped at her eyes as she folded it and put it back in the envelope.
“Thanks for saving that, Dad,” she said with a teary smile.
“Made you cry—sorry about that, honey.” He dug around in the box some more and pulled out some aging photographs and what looked like ticket stubs. “These things were special to your mom and I…” He told her about their first date and other memorable events before putting everything back in the box and handing it to her. “Do you have your mother’s wedding ring?”
“I do.” She fingered the ring hanging on a chain around her neck. “I wear it every day.”
He eyed her for a moment and his gaze traveled down to her right leg, which was the one that had been so badly burned. “When did all this happen?” he asked.
“Almost four years ago. It was August.”
“And Shay died? Were you together?”
“Yes.” She swallowed.
“And how did you meet her?” He swung his gaze to Drake.
“My sister is a plastic surgeon and she did an experimental surgery on her.”
“And these scars didn’t bother you?”
Drake shook his head. “Hell no. She’s beautiful—and she got those serving her country. No one is prouder of her than I am… except maybe you.”
“Did you ever serve?”
“Unfortunately, no. I was recruited at eighteen and I’ve been a professional athlete my whole career so—”
“You’re a professional athlete?!” Duncan’s eyes widened as he sized him up. “Football?”
Drake grinned. “Hockey. There’s been a new expansion team since you’ve been ill and I play for the Las Vegas Sidewinders.”
“Are you shittin’ me?” Duncan looked shocked. “An NHL team in Vegas?”
“Nope.” Drake pulled out his phone and showed him pictures of the uniform, the arena and his teammates.
“That’s somethin’,” Duncan was shaking his head. “And you’re married to my Erin.” He cut his eyes to Shay. “How long you been married?”
Erin snickered. “Dad, I got pregnant in January of last year and we eloped in February, just before I found out I was pregnant. He wanted to marry me before I left, but the baby was a surprise. I’m in the Reserves now, by the way. It’s too hard to be on active duty with him on the road and Shay to think about.”
“That’s good. Serving your country is important, but I think you’ve done your share. Your family should come first now.”
“It does. Drake and Shay come before anything.”
Duncan looked around, squinting as if he wasn’t sure where he was. “Am I still in Virginia?”
She nodded. “Yes. They told me you were too sick to move to Vegas, but if you keep getting these spells where you feel like yourself—”
“Don’t be silly.” He was shaking his head. “Talked to the doctor and he explained sometimes this happens right before the end. So don’t worry about moving me anywhere. I just don’t want to forget who I am again mid-sentence.”
“It’s okay.” Erin reached for his hand and he squeezed it.
“Can we go outside?” he asked. “Seems like I can barely remember what sunlight feels like.”
“Sure.” Erin put the box on the chair and wheeled him to the elevator so they could go down and out the back doors.
2
She put a blanket on the ground so Shay could sit and play while Duncan and Drake chatted. It was so nice, so comfortable to spend time with her father, as if he hadn’t been sick and had known Drake for a long time. They were talking hockey now, and though Duncan’s memories went back quite a few years, Drake was a hardcore fan of the sport in addition to being a player.
With the sun shining down and Shay amusing himself with toys, Erin kicked off her sandals and basked in the sun. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d had such a relaxing afternoon, and seeing her father and Drake getting along made her happy. It felt like they’d stepped out of real life and into some alternate reality where her father wasn’t sick and she had him back. It was going to be a bitch when the disease grabbed hold of his brain again and snatched him away, but she realized many people never had this rare day of lucidity with a loved one who had Alzheimer’s; it was special.
“Come here, little man.” Duncan reached down for Shay who obligingly lifted his arms. Duncan bounced him on his lap, his frail body somehow much stronger when he held his grandson. “You’re not going to remember me, Shay, but I hope your mom tells you some good things about me—before I was sick.”
Erin surreptitiously turned on the video function on her phone and began recording them. Duncan talked as though Shay could understand him, telling him about how much he’d loved his wife and how proud he was of his daughter, about the stupid disease that had stolen his memories of the things he loved, and how much he would have liked to watch his grandchildren grow up. Drake joined in, telling stories about his hockey career and large family. Erin watched with tear-filled eyes, grateful she was able to capture it all.
It was getting later and Erin noticed her father was getting tired. Shay was asleep on his grandfather’s lap and she’d never taken as many pictures as she’d taken this afternoon. It was time to take Duncan inside, though, and Shay was worn out from being outdoors most of the day.
As she wheeled her father back inside, Drake carried Shay and the diaper bag. A nurse came to get Duncan settled in bed and he reached out a hand to Erin, pulling her close to him.
“Not sure what tomorrow will bring,” he said softly, “but I don’t want you to be sad for me, okay? We had a good day today, and I’m grateful I got to meet your family. You’re happy, Erin? Please tell me you’re happy.”
“I’m very happy,” she whispered, blinking away the ever-present tears. “I have everything I could have ever dreamed of except you and Mom.”
“You still have us,” he smiled. “Just in a different way.” He looked at Drake. “I’m counting on you, son, to make sure my girl is happy. Edie and I could only have the one, and she was my little girl from the minute I set eyes on her. I’m guessing there’s been a lot of pain in her life since I got sick and I need to close my eyes tonight knowing you’re going to keep her from having anymore.”
“With my dying breath,” Drake said, trying to keep his voice steady. “I wake up every day thinking about that very thing. You have my word that if I can help it, she won’t ever be in pain again.”
“Thank you.” Duncan’s eyelids were getting heavy. “I probably won’t be like this in the morning, hon, so will you just sit with me until I drift off?”
“Sure, Daddy.”
His eyes opened a moment. “Been a long time since you called me Daddy.”
“You’ll always be my daddy,” she smiled tremulously.
“That’s my girl.” He drifted off to sleep and Erin sat beside him, her fingers laced with his.
3
Watching him sleep, Erin remembered a thousand different things. Sometimes it seemed like just yesterday he’d taught her to throw a softball and drive a five-speed transmission. Her mother had always laughed at them, saying she was both his daughter and the son he’d never had because Erin ran the gamut between being girlie and being a tomboy. She loved sports, cars and bugs just as much as she loved high heels, makeup and boys. It had been a source of joy for both of her parents and she’d been abo
ut as well-rounded as anyone she’d known. Then she’d lost her mother and for a while she and her father had floundered, but they’d eventually gotten closer.
By the time she left for college they were inseparable and it had been a difficult transition. It was only eighteen months later, however, that he’d been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. Her aunt, his sister, had been alive then and she’d told Erin not to worry—she would care for him until he needed full-time care. He’d gone into a home just a month before her deployment to Afghanistan and by that time he only remembered her half the time. When she got back, he didn’t remember her at all, and with her severe injuries, she’d almost been glad.
“You okay, babe?”
Drake’s voice startled her and she glanced up at him gratefully. “Yeah. Just preparing myself to say goodbye. I know when we come back in the morning he won’t be like this again.”
“You never know, but it’s best not to get your hopes up.”
“We should go,” she said finally. “He’s asleep and I’m hungry. Thanks for doing this with me.”
He frowned. “Did you think I wouldn’t come?”
“I knew you would, but you didn’t know him so this wouldn’t mean anything to you.”
“That’s not true.” He kissed the top of her head. “He’s your father and this was my chance to spend time with him. I’m really glad I did—you didn’t tell me he was a big hockey fan.”
She chuckled. “He was a big overall sports fan. Hockey, football, baseball, basketball, even soccer. If it was a sport, he loved it.”
“A lot like my dad,” Drake smiled. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” She paused as she stood, looking down at her father’s peaceful face. “Good night, Daddy. I hope you had as much fun as we did today. I don’t know if you’ll remember it, but I’ve got it all on video, so I’ll never forget it.” She kissed his forehead and slowly backed away. She picked up her purse and nodded at Drake. “Let’s go. It’s late and we’re all hungry.”
They had a quiet dinner at a restaurant near their hotel and called it a night early. Shay went to sleep as soon as they put him down and they watched TV for a little while until Erin fell asleep. She slept fitfully until early in the morning when the vibrations of her phone on the bedside table woke her. Glancing at the time, it was just after six, and she recognized the number from the nursing home. Grabbing it quickly and hurrying into the bathroom so she wouldn’t wake the baby, she almost whispered her greeting into the phone.
“Mrs. Riser, it’s Dr. Lopez.”
“What’s happened?” she asked, her heart sinking.
“Your father passed in his sleep. He was gone when I got here just a little while ago.”
“O-okay.” Erin swallowed, her eyes brimming with tears. “What, uh, what should I do?”
“Would you like to see him or should we have him taken to the crematorium? Your wishes haven’t changed, have they?”
“No.” She managed a shaky breath. “That’s what he wanted.”
“All right. I’m very sorry for your loss.” He paused. “But I hear he had a good day yesterday.”
“Yes. Yes, it was…wonderful. Thank you.”
“I’ll talk to you soon.”
Erin disconnected just as Drake opened the bathroom door. “Honey?”
“My dad’s gone,” she said, brushing away tears. “He passed in his sleep.”
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” Drake wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest.
“I knew I wouldn’t see him again,” she sniffled against him. “I knew yesterday was the end.”
“But you got to spend it with him—and he got to enjoy not just you, but Shay too.”
“I know.” She hugged him tighter. “I’m so glad I got him back for a few hours before he passed.”
“Me, too, honey.” He stroked her hair. “What do you need to do?”
“Nothing except pick up his things. We made arrangements a long time ago.”
“Would you like me to do it?” he asked softly. “It might be easier for you to just remember yesterday. I can collect his personal effects, the pictures and things in his room, and you can go get a massage or something.”
“What? No, I’ll have Shay and—”
“I can do both.” He stroked her cheek and looked down into her sapphire eyes. “Let me do this for you. Book yourself into a spa and do something relaxing, give yourself time to reflect, think, absorb it all. Really. I don’t mind.”
“I love you, Drake Riser.”
“I know.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come on, let’s go lay down again until Shay wakes up.”
“Okay.”
Three days later was Father’s Day and Erin spread her father’s ashes on the ground around the grave beneath which her mother was buried; he’d wanted to be with her when he passed but had always had an aversion to being underground. So she abided by his wishes, hoping she hadn’t broken any laws. Even if she was, she’d known she would find a way to grant his final wish and she glanced over to where Drake stood with Shay, who was squirming to get down. Almost nine months old, he was desperate to crawl everywhere and when Drake finally put him down he got to Erin in record time.
“Did you want to say hello to Grandma?” she asked softly as she scooped him up and kissed his chubby cheeks.
“Ga-ga!” he gurgled, blowing a raspberry.
Erin giggled, knowing her mother would have loved him. “Grandpa’s here too,” she said after a moment. “Do you remember Grandpa?” She pulled out her phone and played the video from when they’d played just days ago.
“Gamp!” Shay nodded vigorously, looking around as if he would see him. “Gamp?”
“Grampa’s gone,” she said softly. “But he’ll always be right here…” She pressed light kisses on his chest. “Inside your heart.”
“Fffff!!!” He made the strange sound until Erin met the baby’s irritated gaze.
“What?” she asked, confused.
“Ffff!” He grabbed for her phone and suddenly she understood. He knew the video of Grandpa was in the phone but could only manage the first sound.
“Here you go.” She handed it to him and he babbled back at the video.
“Sure seems like he remembers, doesn’t it?” Drake asked, coming up behind them and sliding an arm around her shoulders.
“It does.” She leaned against him. “I miss him, but it’s a relief knowing he’s not suffering anymore, that he’s finally at peace. Mentally, he’s been gone for years.”
He nodded solemnly. “I don’t know what happens when we die, but I know he’s definitely at peace and I’m glad for that.”
“Me, too,” she admitted.
“Let’s go do something fun tonight,” he suggested quietly. “Let’s celebrate his life, and the fact that your parents believed they would be together again. Let’s not be sad anymore, okay?”
“Our friends are all in Vegas and your family’s in Chicago—what could we do that’s fun tonight?”
He grinned. “Your military buddies aren’t too far away. Mark, Louie and Eric are in Virginia and D.C. We could be there in three hours.”
She smiled. “Yeah? You’d want to do that?”
“I know you need your friends right now and I can’t get us home to your besties by tonight, but I can get you to your military buddies.”
“I’d really like to see the guys,” she admitted softly.
“Then let’s go.” He knelt to place the flowers they’d brought on her mother’s grave and murmured a soft prayer. “Ready?”
She took a deep breath and looked around. It felt like things had come full circle. Her parents were gone but she knew they were together again in some form, and the light wind that blew through her hair felt like her mother was brushing it back away from her face, like she’d done when Erin was young.
“Bye, Mom,” she whispered into the wind. “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I love you.”
She turned and laced
her fingers through Drake’s. “Let’s go, babe.”
Oh, Baby!
Las Vegas Sidewinders Book 6.1
1
Kate Martensson stared at the two little lines in fascination. She’d agreed to try and it had happened almost immediately. She’d never wanted to be pregnant, but she knew how badly her husband, Karl, wanted them to have a baby together. Her friends all had kids, and she loved them, but she found the idea of pregnancy and childbirth kind of disgusting. Karl had never pushed her, consistently telling her he loved her and would wait until she was ready or, as a last result, they could look into hiring a surrogate.
Then there had been a series of events that had thrown them and everyone around them into a tailspin recently. Deaths, kidnappings, and all kinds of drama that had led her to realize how short life was and how lucky she was to have the most wonderful man in the world as her husband. So she’d agreed they could try to get pregnant. Two months later she was staring at two little lines on a pregnancy test. Four pregnancy tests, to be exact.
Gathering everything up and wrapping it in a towel, she hid all the evidence in the back of her underwear drawer. Karl would be home soon and they had company coming over to watch the first night of hockey season, so she wasn’t going to say anything yet. She wanted to surprise him and tell him in a private, romantic way. She was slightly annoyed that she’d found out at the beginning of hockey season, since this began a busy time of year for him. Not that he ever neglected her, but playing professional hockey was a lot more than a nine to five job between travel, practice, games, meetings and working out. He put in long hours, and though he always carved out time for her between trips, she momentarily resented having to figure out when she would have his undivided attention.
Staring at her calendar, she chewed her bottom lip. Tonight they had company and there wouldn’t be any privacy. Tomorrow he had a morning skate and it was opening night of hockey season here in Las Vegas. Win or lose, the first night of the season was always exciting and a loss wouldn’t be too devastating since it was the first game. If they won, he’d be on a high and the news would make it even better. If they lost, this would undoubtedly cheer him up. With a smile, she went to start getting ready for company.
