by J. J. McAvoy
“Sex is always an exception—”
Oh God. I didn’t want to hear that.
“That is not the point!” she screamed. “You…goddamn it, Ethan. You are so busy scheming and moving everyone around like they are damn chess pieces you forget we are fucking human beings! I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone—”
“I’m not.”
“He’s not.”
Both Ethan and I said at the same time.
Rising to her feet and grabbing her glass, she marched toward the door, saying before leaving, “Did you ever think this kinda sucks for me, Ethan? That just because I know you’re supposed to be a grown up and get married, and prove to everyone you can be everything Father was, doesn’t mean I’m happy about it? That giving up my chair to some random woman, whom you’ll have to put above me, sucks? That knowing everyone but me gets to stay a Callahan sucks?”
She looked over her shoulder at him, and Ethan, to his credit, looked back at her for a moment, frowning before reaching for his glass.
“I guess not,” she said, leaving.
“Good night.” He had the balls to say.
And I shook my head at him, Ethan the iron heart. “You could at least pretend to com—”
“Comfort her?” He snickered at that. “Nana, in this family Dona is the last person who needs comforting. She isn’t pissed that I didn’t tell her. She does not care. She’s pissed because she is now confronted with the fact that she, as she said, doesn’t get to be the queen Callahan. Everyone thinks because she smiles and laughs and acts so sweet that she’s actually the best of us three. But the truth of the matter is she is the child of Liam and Melody Callahan, which means like all of us she is calculating, cold, and ruthless. It’s the reason why Wyatt left. He couldn’t handle being second all the time and so he’s gone off to play hero. Dona…she’d kill for this seat, to be where I am. I didn’t tell her because I was saving her the pain of waking the fuck up and realizing no matter how much I care about her, she will never control me. Now, do you want beef or chicken?”
“Chicken,” I answered and reached for the bell, ringing it before placing it down.
“Good choice,” he said and repeated it for one of the servers.
“Right away, sir.”
When he reached for his fork and knife again I just sat in silence. I wasn’t surprised. In all honesty, I was tired. Tired of all of them. But I had a promise to keep…and this was the fastest way to do it.
“Ivy O’Davoren. I’ll go see her in the morning.” I reached for my napkin, unfolding it and placing it on my lap.
He nodded. “Expect her to be hostile.”
“Why?”
“She hates this family.”
He’s a masochist.
“And why is that?” I grabbed my drink.
Again he thought for a moment, sticking a piece of steak between his lips. “She believes we killed her whole family.”
“Did we?”
He smiled and when he did you could see how handsome he truly was. Tall, toned, ivory skinned, with the deepest green eyes, like his father, and dark brown hair that was almost too perfect and yet suited him nicely. Women fell at his feet and most of the time he’d just walk over them as if he hadn’t noticed. The colder he was, the more they loved him…but when he smiled, he looked so…innocent and sweet.
“What?” he asked me.
“Nothing.” I leaned back, making room for the server to put the plate down. “I was just thinking how handsome you look when you smile.”
“I know, that’s why I try to contain it,” he joked and it was that…that twig of humor that always reminded me he had a heart, he just kept in locked under ten feet of steel in the middle of the desert.
“This woman better be worth it.” For his plan…and for his heart. Arranged, a pawn, whatever, she had one hell of a life ahead of her. “And you still haven’t told me how you plan on getting her to not hate us.”
“By telling the truth and lying.”
I thought back to his father and for the first time since…since losing him…I wanted to smack him for leaving me with this mess.
FOUR
“Whether we are man, exile or angel - It doesn't matter. For us all, the nature of truth is unforgiving.”
~ Jessica Shirvington
IVY
“Let go of me!” I hollered and kicked as they carried me back into the private room for my lawyer visit…the lawyer I didn’t ask for. “I said let go! I have the right to deny legal counsel! Do you hear me?”
What kind of bullshit was this?
They just ignored me, buzzing the door open, carrying me all the way to my seat, and dropping me down. When the asshat bent down to tie me to the podium, I noticed it wasn’t the black lawyer across from me, but an old woman sitting very calmly, dressed in a dark purple coat, black sweater, with pearls around her neck, along with a black sun hat.
“So they gave up on the black man and sent a grandmamma to try and sign my soul away. It ain’t happening. Guard!” I yelled and the door opened. However, the guard paid me no attention. He simply walked over to the old lady with a tea cup.
“I’m sorry, we had no cream,” Jimmy said in the politest voice I’d ever heard. “Is there anything else I can get you, Mrs. Callahan?”
My head whipped back at the old woman and before I could help myself I tried to lunge at her and I would have ripped her head off her shoulders if it weren’t for the damn chains.
“Sit down!” Jimmy snapped back to his old self, already pulling out his taser.
“I’m quite fine. You may leave.”
“Are you sure, ma’am—”
The look she gave him made him swallow unnecessarily. He glared at me as if to say behave and walked toward the doors.
“You have some nerve—”
“Don’t speak. You only make yourself look imprudent.” She dared to interrupt me, pressing play on a tablet I didn’t even notice was in front of me, until just now, before picking up her tea cup.
The screen was fuzzy for a moment before finally focusing perfectly on…
“Daddy?” I sat up.
“Hey, birdy…” He smiled even though he looked…he looked just like I remembered. Blond-graying hair, brown eyes, and in need of a shave. Before he spoke again she paused it.
“What is this?” I sneered, glaring back at her.
“You believe we killed your family? Well, you’re wrong. I figured you wouldn’t believe us…luckily, your father used to be more reasonable—”
“Don’t talk about my father.”
“Fine, you don’t want to hear his final words. I’ll leave.”
“Wait.” I reached for the tablet. “Wait.”
Without another word, she pressed play again and I heard his voice for the first time in…in what felt like a lifetime.
“If you’re watching this I’m probably gone. The boss told me to make a whole bunch of these videos for you just in case…just in case something happened…he comes off as this hard-ass, but he’s a good man, or at the very least he gets what it’s like having a daughter…wait, ugh…sorry. This probably makes no sense and…sorry.”
The screen cut off.
“No—” But before I even got the word out, he was back on the screen again, this time in a different V-neck shirt, his hair as messy as ever.
“So I’m going to make this one video. You know I ain’t that good with words, birdy.” He winked at me. He always did that when he was nervous. “First. I want to apologize. Apologize for making you grow up around all of this. For letting you suffer. I never wanted this for you. I wanted better, much better. But I couldn’t…knowing what that bastard did to your mother.” He bit his bottom lip, and I felt my tears burning my eyes. “If it weren’t for the Callahans, I would’ve probably been dead sooner. Maybe you too.”
My whole body relaxed, my mouth dropping open. “W-wh-what?”
“Yea. You heard me. The Callahans. I ain’t no traitor. Keegan.�
� He spat to his left. “That’s right, poor ol’ Uncle Keegan Finnegan. All of this is his fault. And why? What reason did he have to kill MY WIFE? ’Cause he wanted what the Callahans have! He’s got no money, barely a last name, or connections, and yet he keeps saying how he’s going to change things. My pop always said poverty fucks with you…makes you think you can do things you really can’t and start selling your soul for things that are priceless.” Again, he rubbed his chin, tears coming down his face.
“He was right. I never listened to him. Though maybe if I did I’d know how to read people better. It’s my fault, birdy. My fault. I wasn’t careful. I didn’t protect your mom or your aunt…hell, I can barely protect you. So listen to me, you hear?” He sat up, pointing to the camera. “I don’t know how much time I’ve got. But you ain’t ever listened to me in your life. Listen now. Remember the place where the one-eyed owl and cat live? It’s real. Go there. I’ve got some money stashed away. Take it and get the hell out of Boston. Don’t talk to any of them, not Shay, not your cousins. They’d cut out your own kidney and try to sell it back to you. And lastly, listen, birdy, if you ever, I mean ever get in trouble, call the Callahans and tell ’em you’re Sean O’Davoren’s daughter. Okay? They got you. What I always say…”
“They don’t make them any tougher than those from the Burren,” I said at the same time he did, wiping my face on the corner of my shirt. When I looked up the old lady just stared at me and so I stared back, unsure, not wanting to believe any of this.
“How do I know you didn’t make him say this?”
She shrugged. “We could’ve…but why would he tell you some secret place to pick up the money we paid him and not use a code to tell you he was being forced?”
“This is some sort of trick.”
“This is the truth and because you’ve convinced yourself we are the enemy for so long your brain can’t accept it…but, Ivy, did your father ever once directly tell you in private that the Callahans were to blame?”
I immediately wanted to say yes but nothing came to mind. Nothing. All the times in which he’d spoken out against the Callahans in public he’d never said anything when we were at home.
“I guess not. Fine, did he ever let you around your uncle or your cousins?”
Again I wanted to say yes, but my voice would not let me. As if I were dying, my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. How he’d always cut in when Uncle Keegan was talking to me. Or told me to study when my cousins came over. How he always just wrote it off as “guy stuff,” which pissed me off more. I thought he was trying to protect me from knowing against the Callahans not…
“No.” I shook my head. “No,” I repeated again, and she honestly looked worried. Not pitying me.
“Seven years ago, you came to Chicago with your stepsister, looking for evidence your father was murdered.” She didn’t need to ask because somehow, a photo of me and Rory caught at a tollbooth appeared on the screen. “You look surprised. Why? You went to almost every corner shop, mechanic and barber, you didn’t think we’d hear back?”
“I did,” I whispered, staring at photos of me that just appeared on the screen. It sent chills down my spine. They could do this. They could spy me on the streets. “I knew you’d hear and I figured—”
“To fearlessly ask directly…a last-ditch effort, which didn’t work.” She didn’t have to remind me. Those days would haunt me for the rest of my life. “You then went back to a bar where you drank your pain, drove drunk, and hit a young girl, paralyzing her from the waist down. You lost your scholarship at Boston U, your family went into debt trying to get you out, your fiancé left you, all because you wanted revenge so badly.”
My throat burned, my jaw clenched. Inhaling deeply, I nodded, owning up to it. “Yes. Yes, to all of it. I’m sure you have a full transcript of it and could ask the judge personally. I did something wrong and I’m owning up to it. And it isn’t I wanted revenge. It’s want. Present tense.”
Finished with her tea, she put the cup down. “You’re owning up to someone else’s crime.”
I froze at that. She didn’t reply. I glanced down at the screen again. On the corner of Bank and 5th, I saw the black Mustang rush down the dark road, just as Sarah Foster, I’d never forget her name, crossed the street, listening to her music and reading.
“Ah…” I gasped when I hit her. Her body went up on the dashboard and then rolled off, hitting the ground. I wanted to close my eyes but couldn’t, waiting to see myself. However, it wasn’t my blond hair…it was red. It was Rory. She came out of the car frantic, rushing to the girl, then looked around…in horror I watched as she pulled my blacked-out self from the passenger seat and into the front, closing the door before getting into my spot.
“How is that ownership feeling now?” She gutted what was left of me. “Your family isn’t in debt, by the way. The lawyer was a family friend of theirs and they barely paid him anything. Your former fiancé is now married to your stepsister.”
“What?”
She stared at me and then just snickered, shaking her head. “I apologize. I figured they told you, but I forgot your family doesn’t seem to understand the definition of family. From start to end you were set up and abandoned. Your cousins are even using you, saying that the Callahans had you locked up for asking questions…your sense of duty didn’t seem to come to play there…but hey, none of us are perfect.”
I sat in silence as she rose to her feet.
“That’s enough for the day. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
Frozen, the tears I held back for seven years, for seven long painful years, poured out of my eyes to the point that they burned. With each passing moment, I hurt more and more to the point that I wanted to…I wanted to die. I think I was dying…
I didn’t even realize they were walking me back, until I walked by the phone rooms.
“My phone call,” I whispered, brushing the tears off my face with my cuffed hands. “I haven’t taken one in months. I need to make a call.”
I looked at Jimmy.
He nodded for them to take me.
I wanted to run. But I waited patiently, as patiently as I could as they opened the doors, gave me the card, and sat me behind the table. I wiped my nose with my hands before pushing the buttons…praying they wouldn’t insult me by not answering.
“Ivy?” Rory’s voice came over the line.
“Hey...” I tried to say cheerfully, but my throat was dry.
“You have amazing timing! We’re having a get-together. The whole family is here. Do you want to say hi?”
Licking my lips, I nodded even though she couldn’t see. “Sure. Can you put me on the speaker?”
“Guys, it’s Ivy!”
“IVY!” I heard a chorus of cheers and I had to bite back the sob threatening to rip through me, my whole body shaking in rage.
“How’s the big house? You got any—”
“Shut up, Elroy,” Rory yelled.
“Stay strong, all right? It’s almost over,” Cillian’s deep voice spoke up.
“Yea. We can’t wait for you to get home,” Shay, my stepmother, spoke up next.
And I waited and waited…but he didn’t speak.
“Ivy? You there?”
“Yea,” I replied, gripping the phone tightly. “I was waiting for Pierce to speak.”
They were all silent.
“Pierce,” I called. “You aren’t going to say hi? I feel bad enough not being able to congratulate you and Rory on your marriage.”
Silence.
“For fuck’s sake, find your balls and speak!” I hollered.
“I—we—Ivy. I’m sorry,” his bitch ass finally said.
“Ivy, nothing happened before. We were both so sad about you—”
“Rory, do me a favor and shut your fucking mouth and stop insulting me, you little cunt.” I hissed.
“Ivy!” her mother yelled at me. “We didn’t want you to find out like this but don’t be like this.”
And I just
laughed. “Be like what? Pissed? Oh no, Shay, I’m not pissed. I’m motivated. So fucking motivated I’m shaking with anticipation. Maybe you all have forgotten who the bloody fuck I am. But don’t worry, I’ll remind each and every one of you—”
“Ivy, I know—”
“I KNOW EVERYTHING!” I screamed, trying to keep calm. “You all know what you did to me. How each one of you betrayed me. We were family, but you betrayed me and now…I’m going to come for you all. I might have been blind when I came here, but believe me, now I see.”
“And what can you do from a prison cell eight hundred miles away?” Cillian asked. They weren’t even scared…I was worth nothing to them. That was what I meant.
“Seven years ago, I told you vengeance knows no boundaries and has no expiration date. I still believe that. So watch your front became I’ll be out real soon.” Slamming the phone on the receiver, I sat clenching my fist.
I want them dead.
I want them all dead.
***
I was already sitting and waiting when she came in. I couldn’t sleep. I just waited, sitting in the darkness, no food, no water. Nothing mattered but this.
“Good morning.” She sat across from me, wearing a long-sleeved, short, gray dress under her gray coat, and her pearls.
“What do I need to do?” I asked directly.
She frowned, accepting her new cup of tea. “The first thing is to politely greet people when spoken to. Manners aren’t just for appearances.”
“Good morning…how was your evening? What do I need to do?”
“Now that you know the truth, you can’t even apologize.” She smirked, taking a sip of her tea. “Which makes you already like so many people in my family.”
“You’ve shattered my whole world…excuse me if I hardly feel thankful.” I snapped, really wishing these damn zip ties were off my hands. “I just feel…so goddamn angry!”
“You are a mess, Ivy O’Davoren.” She smiled and nodded at me. “An angry, impulsive, reckless, lost, and utter mess of a woman. Whose life was ruined not by the people you’ve devoted yourself to hating but your own family. If you didn’t feel angry I’d worry about your sanity.”
