He’s not lying. The dark circles under his eyes worry me. I know it’s partly my fault and I silently vow to be a better sister to him. I don’t like adding to his burdens.
I open the box with four muffins from a local bakery, grabbing a blueberry one for myself. Sage picks the banana one.
I pull a piece off, popping it into my mouth. “Mmm, that’s yummy.”
Sage chuckles. “It should be, they make them fresh. I had to wait in line for fifteen minutes, and that was a short wait compared to the usual. But that’s why it took me so long to get back.”
“Where exactly are we taking this cooking class?” I ask, taking another bite. Sage surprised me with the news this morning when I woke up that he’d scheduled it for today but forgot to tell me. He tacked on that he hoped I didn’t have plans with Ansel I had to cancel. His dislike for my friend is funny to me since Sage was kind of a player when he was in high school, and Ansel truly is only a friend to me. I wonder what he’d think if I told him I had a crush on my guidance counselor. Something tells me he’d kill Lachlan, even though Lachlan is innocent and probably not aware of my scandalous thoughts.
“It’s at the Salt Lake Culinary Education. They offer one-time classes for adults and kids, so that seems like what we need.”
“I think we might need more than one.” I tear the rest of my muffin apart stuffing some in my mouth. Sage eats his like a cupcake, gulping large bites down.
“We probably will, but I figured we’d start with one. My schedule is about to get even busier and I’ll have to work on the weekends a lot.” He looks down at the counter, his shoulders tight.
I wish he would quit, figure out something that makes him happy, but he feels like this is what he has to do. Maybe it is. After all, I’m eighteen and still in school, so I can’t really relate to being in his position. I know I miss his smile, his real smile. But he probably misses the same thing about me.
“You work too much.” I brush the crumbs left on the counter from my muffin into my hand and throw them away.
“I have to.” He rests his head in his hand, every bit of his muffin gone. He sips at his coffee, watching me.
“What?” Something tells me he’s going to ask me something I don’t want to answer.
“Have you thought about where you’re applying for college? Applications need to go out in, what, six weeks?”
“Something like that.” A heavy sigh wracks my body.
“You didn’t answer the question.” He raises a brow, but doesn’t sound accusatory about it.
“I haven’t given it much, thought.” Leaning my hip against the side of the counter, I look down, drawing idle designs in the granite top.
“You need to make up your mind. You could … you could go back to Portland, if you wanted.”
My head shoots up. “I’m not going back there, Sage.”
My heart speeds up at the very thought of it. I can’t go back to that city, that state, and not think of what happened. I know our mom and dad are buried there, but I can’t even think of going to visit them. That whole place holds too many bad memories now. I can’t look at anything the same way again.
His lips turn down sympathetically and he shoves his right hand roughly through his wavy hair. It’s getting a little long and he needs to get it cut.
“I’m sorry, D. I shouldn’t have suggested it.” He looses a long breath.
“Maybe I won’t go to college,” I whisper, hopping up on the counter. I twist my fingers together, swinging my legs back and forth.
“Dani, you have to go to college.”
I glare at him. “I don’t have to do anything, Sage. Maybe I want to roam the world, discover who I am, I can’t do that in a classroom.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know what I want!” I shout, tears pricking my eyes. “Don’t you get that? I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know who I am or how I fit in this world.”
Sage’s face falls. “Dandelion.” It takes him three steps to be in front of me. He wraps his arms around my shaking body, hugging me tight. Resting his chin on top of my head, he says, “I didn’t know this was bothering you so much.”
“A year ago a track scholarship was in the bag to pretty much any school I wanted to go to,” I sniffle, letting him go so I can dry my face. “You know I was set on a path toward law school, but I can’t do that anymore. I would hate it. Our justice system sucks and I would be miserable. I don’t want to spend every single day hating my job and my life. Life’s too short for that.”
He presses his lips together and I think maybe I’ve offended him. “I won’t pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. But please, send out applications, that way when the time comes you can make the choice to go or not.”
“You’re not mad?” My voice shakes slightly.
“A little,” he admits, his eyes softening. “But not for the reasons you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wish I was as strong as you,” is all he says, before grabbing his coffee and walking down the hall to his bedroom.
Chapter Twenty
“We are not good at this, like at all.” I look down at the explosion of ingredients everywhere; the liquid spilled on the counters, flour that somehow ended up on the ceiling, and a dish that looks edible but not presentable which was half the goal.
“Let’s try it.”
I cut a bite of Parmesan chicken and put it in my mouth hesitantly, doubtful that Sage and I could make anything taste edible.
“Oh, that’s good,” I admit, closing my eyes as the flavor explodes over my tongue.
“We did a good job, D.” Sage is all smiles, genuine smiles, and it makes my heart happy to see him enjoying something so simple as making a decent meal with me.
I try the garlic-roasted potatoes next and nearly melt on the floor from the sheer delectableness of them.
“Hey,” I begin around a mouthful, “I think this means we can cook.”
Sage chuckles. “Yeah, with instructions and help from them.” He points his fork at our two teachers who are checking up on some of the other groups of people. It’s mostly young couples madly in love or families who are trying to get their kids involved in the kitchen.
“That’s true.” I feel sad about it, because I could eat this every day.
We eat our dish and box up the leftovers, saying goodbye before we head out.
“Is there anything else you want to do today?” Sage asks, climbing in his Nissan Maxima.
I shake my head. “I kind of want to have a lazy day. Just go home and get in my pajamas and vegetate.”
His laughter fills the car and makes me smile. It’s good to hear. “That sounds pretty fucking amazing to me. I need all the rest I can get.”
I want to talk to him about quitting again, I know he could and be fine temporarily until he gets something else, but he’s stubborn and will never listen so I keep my mouth shut for now.
Sage parks in the garage beneath the building and we take the elevator up.
“Want to watch a movie?” He tosses his keys onto the kitchen counter, shrugging out of his lightweight jacket.
“I’m actually going to paint my nails and start a new book.”
“Still reading?” He quirks a brow, clearly surprised.
“I’m starting to love it.”
“Good for you. There’s a library two blocks away if you ever wanted to go.”
“Oh, okay, that’s good to know.” I doubt I’ll be using it as long as Lachlan continues to lend me his favorite books, but you never know.
Reaching my room, I kick off my shoes and change into a pair of green lounge pants and a black tank top. I put some music on and pick out a new nail polish color, choosing a minty green called Vintage. I don’t really understand how Vintage relates to mint green. Like wouldn’t EncourgeMint Green have been better? But the nail polish was a gift, so I can’t except everyone to pick them based on names like I do.
> Sitting on the floor I paint my nails carefully, making sure I don’t get any on my skin. It’s the perfectionist in me. I let them dry before standing up. My leg has gone numb by the time I do and I hobble over to my bed.
Stretching out, I curl under the blankets, grabbing the book from beside my bed. Lying on my side, I open it up and begin to read.
Finishing the book in record time, I toss it aside, outraged at the cliffhanger ending. I need to know what happens next, whether or not Icarus actually killed Lizzie or not. Picking it back up, I storm out of my room.
“Where are you going?” Sage sits up on the couch looking concerned.
“I need the second book,” I grumble, shoving my feet into a pair of my shoes by the door.
“Now? It’s like ten o’ clock.”
“Yes, now.” I close the door behind me, letting it shut a little too loudly.
I take the stairs up to Lachlan’s floor, too impatient to wait for the elevator. Banging my fist against his door, I wait for him to answer.
Zeppelin barks loudly and incessantly. I hear Lachlan shush him seconds before the door swings open.
“Dani?” He blurts in surprise, not expecting me to show up back at his place so late. I push my way inside and he lets the door close, turning around to face me. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
His genuine concern surprises me. “I finished it.” I hold the five hundred plus page tome out to him. “That ending … you’re cruel. I need the next one. Like, right now.”
He laughs, his throat flexing as he does. “You finished already, huh?”
“It’s amazing,” I gush, clutching the book to my chest. “I couldn’t put it down. But seriously, Lachlan, I need to know what happens next.” Narrowing my eyes on him, I ignore Zeppelin sniffing at my clothes for the moment.
His grin brightens his face. Slowly coming out of my haze over the unexpected ending, I realize that he’s not wearing a shirt, and only a pair of very loose, low hanging cotton shorts, and a navy blue baseball cap turned around backwards.
My throat tightens and I realize I shouldn’t be looking at him like … like I have some sort of crush or find him attractive. He’s the last person I should ever be attracted to. He’s eleven years older than me, he works for the school, he’s my counselor for God’s sake.
“What’s wrong?” His smile slips a tiny bit.
“N-Nothing,” I stutter, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“You loved the book then?”
“Way more than the other two,” I admit, biting my lip. “Those were kind of serious and this had more action and romance. Who doesn’t love a little kissing?”
He chuckles, scratching the dark stubble on his chin. “I love your honesty.”
I stand there, rocking awkwardly on my feet. I look down only to realize I’ve worn Sage’s massive slippers. Zeppelin nudges his nose against my leg, demanding attention.
“So, yeah,” I ramble, “could I borrow the next one?”
I crouch down and pet Zeppelin. He showers me with kisses and I can’t help but laugh because it tickles.
Lachlan watches us. I try to ignore the way his gaze feels on me, but it’s impossible.
I like him looking.
Sure, it’s innocent, but my brain doesn’t want to accept that.
“I’ll get the next two for you.” He steps around me and Zeppelin. I watch him disappear down the hall to his bedroom.
The dog nudges me with his nose. “Sorry,” I laugh, petting him again.
Lachlan isn’t gone a minute before he returns with the next two in the series, setting them on the counter. “It’s a seven book series. If you happen to finish both before Monday text me and I can drop them by.” My face pales and he chuckles. “Or you can come get them.”
“Um, sure. That’d be great.” I stand up much to Zeppelin’s dismay. He whimpers, pawing at the ground. “I don’t have your number, though.”
He walks into his kitchen and swipes his phone off the counter. He passes it to me. “Put your number in. I’ll send you a text so you have mine.”
He looks at ease, like my presence doesn’t affect him at all. It makes me question if maybe I imagined the whole thing yesterday where we shared a look. I put my name and phone number in, handing him back his phone.
“Thanks, Lachlan.” He passes me the books and I look down at the covers, letting my hair fall forward to hide my face. “I … you don’t know what it has meant to me to be able to get lost in someone else’s world for a little while.”
The very tip of his finger touches my chin, urging me to lift my head. As soon as I do, he drops his hand. “I’m happy it’s been able to help you, Dani.”
“I hated reading before.” I glide my finger over the raised parts on the hardcover book. “Now it’s not so bad.” I give Zeppelin one last pat on the head. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”
“You’re not bothering me, Dani.”
I look at him from beneath my lashes. There’s a part of me that’s confident, who doesn’t care to speak her mind, but then there’s this other part of me that hesitates.
“I should be.”
His brows furrow in confusion at my words. I don’t elaborate, though. Lachlan isn’t stupid and he’ll figure out my meaning on his own.
“Thanks, again.” I brush past him, ignoring the shiver that courses up my spine when my arm brushes his.
I return to Sage’s with the books clasped in my arms.
“Where did you go?” he demands. “You can’t walk out like that with half-answers, Dandelion.”
“I went to go borrow more books from my friend.” I lock the door and turn around, holding them up so he can see them.
He looks suspicious. “Your friend lives nearby?”
“In the building.”
“Who is this friend? It’s not Ansel is it?” He looks murderous at the very idea.
“No.” I shake my head.
“Who, then? I only hear you talk about Ansel and someone named Sasha. Is it Sasha, then?”
I rack my brain for a name and end up blurting, “Taylor.” It’s not a total lie. “My friend Taylor lives in the building.”
“Oh.” His shoulders slack. “A girl. Okay, then.”
Yeah. A girl.
Taylor could easily be a boy’s name, but I’ll let him believe what he wants, it’s not like I’m going to tell him it’s Mr. Taylor.
“I’m going to bed now.”
He waves me on.
Closing my bedroom door behind me I set the books beside my bed before climbing under the covers. My phone vibrates and I dig around beneath all the blankets until I finally locate it.
My heart leaps when I see the text on the screen.
Unknown number: It’s Lachlan. Goodnight, Dani.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Do you have any plans for Halloween?” Ansel pulls out the chair across from me, sitting down. Sasha and Seth haven’t arrived yet.
“It’s almost Halloween?” I blurt, looking up from my sketchpad. The rough drawing of an old oak tree looks like something a kindergartener would do.
Ansel frowns, tilting his head. “Um, yeah, Meadows. It’s this Friday.”
Time has been passing in a blur. I suppose that’s a good thing. It means my mind hasn’t been on things it shouldn’t be.
“Clearly, you don’t have plans then. There’s a party, you’re going.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Meadows,” he says in a low voice, “all you’ve been doing lately is reading and drawing. It’s time for you to get out. I’ll drive you home today. We’ll pick up some costumes before I drop you off.”
“What would I even dress up as?”
Sasha plops into the seat beside Ansel. “Ooh, Halloween party planning? I’m going as a sexy kitten.”
Ansel gives her an irritated look. “How predictable.”
She flips her curly blonde hair over her shoulder, covertly giving him the finger as she does.
Seth snickers and I jump, looking over at him and wondering when the hell he slipped in. I would think the guy is a ghost if Ansel and Sasha didn’t very clearly see him as well.
“What are you going as?” Sasha counters, pursing her lips. “A brooding artist? You already fake that every day, maybe you should pick something a little easier to pull off, like a judgmental prick.”
His dark brows narrow. “What crawled up your ass and died?”
“Nothing.” She looks at her French-manicured nails.
“La pute,” Ansel mutters under his breath, shaking his head.
I press my lips together, trying not to laugh. Something tells me Sasha likes Ansel, but he’s completely oblivious.
Lunch is tense after that, and Ansel doesn’t mention Halloween or the party again, but I know he hasn’t forgotten about it either.
The four of us end up parting ways early and I take the rest of my lunch downstairs with me. I sit beside Lachlan’s closed office door. Normally I barge right on in, but since there are still fifteen minutes until the lunch period ends I decide to wait.
Digging out my unfinished lunch I start to eat.
A few minutes pass and I nearly jump out of my skin when the door opens with a whoosh. My bag of chips falls off my lap, a few spilling out onto the white and gray linoleum floor.
“Oh, fu—sorry. Dani? You’re early.”
I look up, up, up Lachlan’s impossibly tall frame. He stands there looking like a Dior model in a pair of black slacks and white button down. There’s a small stack of papers in his hands. His Clark Kent glasses start sliding down his nose and he pushes them back up. He’s never worn his glasses to school before.
“Yeah, sorry.” I pick up the fallen chips from the ground, stuffing them in a Ziplock baggy. “Lunch got kind of awkward so we disbanded early.”
His lips turn down. “Want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. “It was dumb.”
“Well, you can head on in. I have to go to the office to make copies of these.” He flips through the papers in his hands. “I should only be five minutes.”
Sweet Dandelion Page 12
