CHAPTER LX.
THE INTERRUPTED BREAKFAST AT SIR FRANCIS VARNEY'S.
Notwithstanding all Mr. Chillingworth could say to the contrary, theadmiral really meant to breakfast with Sir Francis Varney.
The worthy doctor could not for some time believe but that the admiralmust be joking, when he talked in such a strain; but he was very soonconvinced to the contrary, by the latter actually walking out and oncemore asking him, Mr. Chillingworth, if he meant to go with him, or not.
This was conclusive, so the doctor said,--
"Well, admiral, this appears to me rather a mad sort of freak; but, as Ihave begun the adventure with you, I will conclude it with you."
"That's right," said the admiral; "I'm not deceived in you, doctor; socome along. Hang these vampyres, I don't know how to tackle them,myself. I think, after all, Sir Francis Varney is more in your line thanline is in mine."
"How do you mean?"
"Why, couldn't you persuade him he's ill, and wants some physic? Thatwould soon settle him, you know."
"Settle him!" said Mr. Chillingworth; "I beg to say that if I did givehim any physic, the dose would be much to his advantage; but, however,my opinion is, that this invitation to breakfast is, after all, a merepiece of irony; and that, when we get to Walmesley Lodge, we shall notsee anything of him; on the contrary, we shall probably find it's ahoax."
"I certainly shouldn't like that, but still it's worth the trying. Thefellow has really behaved himself in such an extraordinary manner, that,if I can make terms with him I will; and there's one thing, you know,doctor, that I think we may say we have discovered."
"And what may that be? Is it, not to make too sure of a vampyre, evenwhen you have him by the leg?"
"No, that ain't it, though that's a very good thing in its way: but itis just this, that Sir Francis Varney, whoever he is and whatever he is,is after Bannerworth Hall, and not the Bannerworth family. If yourecollect, Mr. Chillingworth, in our conversation, I have alwaysinsisted upon that fact."
"You have; and it seems to me to be completely verified by theproceedings of the night. There, then, admiral, is the greatmystery--what can he want at Bannerworth Hall that makes him take such aworld of trouble, and run so many fearful risks in trying to get at it?"
"That is, indeed, the mystery; and if he really means this invitation tobreakfast, I shall ask him plumply, and tell him, at the same time, thatpossibly his very best way to secure his object will be to be candid,vampyre as he is."
"But really, admiral, you do not still cling to that foolishsuperstition of believing that Sir Francis Varney is in reality avampyre?"
"I don't know, and I can't say; if anybody was to give me a descriptionof a strange sort of fish that I had never seen, I wouldn't take uponmyself to say there wasn't such a thing; nor would you, doctor, if youhad really seen the many odd ones that I have encountered at varioustimes."
"Well, well, admiral, I'm certainly not belonging to that school ofphilosophy which declares the impossible to be what it don't understand;there may be vampyres, and there may be apparitions, for all I know tothe contrary; I only doubt these things, because I think, if they weretrue, that, as a phenomena of nature, they would have been by this timeestablished by repeated instances without the possibility of doubt orcavil."
"Well, there's something in that; but how far have we got to go now?"
"No further than to yon enclosure where you see those park-like lookinggates, and that cedar-tree stretching its dark-green foliage so far intothe road; that is Walmesley Lodge, whither you have been invited."
"And you, my learned friend, recollect that you were invited too; sothat you are no intruder upon the hospitality of Varney the vampyre."
"I say, admiral," said Mr. Chillingworth, when they reached the gates,"you know it is not quite the thing to call a man a vampyre at his ownbreakfast-table, so just oblige me by promising not to make any suchremark to Sir Francis."
"A likely thing!" said the admiral; "he knows I know what he is, and heknows I'm a plain man and a blunt speaker; however, I'll be civil tohim, and more than that I can't promise. I must wring out of him, if Ican, what has become of Charles Holland, and what the deuce he reallywants himself."
"Well, well; come to no collision with him, while we're his guests."
"Not if I can help it."
The doctor rang at the gate bell of Walmesley Lodge, and was in a fewmoments answered by a woman, who demanded their business.
"Is Sir Francis Varney here?" said the doctor.
"Oh, ah! yes," she replied; "you see his house was burnt down, forsomething or other--I'm sure I don't know what--by some people--I'm sureI don't know who; so, as the lodge was to let, we have took him in tillhe can suit himself."
"Ah! that's it, is it?" said the admiral--"tell him that Admiral Belland Dr. Chillingworth are here."
"Very well," said the woman; "you may walk in."
"Thank ye; you're vastly obliging, ma'am. Is there anything going on inthe breakfast line?"
"Well, yes; I am getting him some breakfast, but he didn't say as heexpected company."
The woman opened the garden gate, and they walked up a trimly laid outgarden to the lodge, which was a cottage-like structure in externalappearance, although within it boasted of all the comforts of atolerably extensive house.
She left them in a small room, leading from the hall, and was absentabout five minutes; then she returned, and, merely saying that SirFrancis Varney presented his compliments, and desired them to walk upstairs, she preceded them up a handsome flight which led to the firstfloor of the lodge.
Up to this moment, Mr. Chillingworth had expected some excuse, for,notwithstanding all he had heard and seen of Sir Francis Varney, hecould not believe that any amount of impudence would suffice to enablehim to receive people as his guests, with whom he must feel that he wasat such positive war.
It was a singular circumstance; and, perhaps, the only thing thatmatched the cool impertinence of the invitation, was the acceptance ofit under the circumstances by the admiral.
Sir Francis Varney might have intended it as a jest; but if he did so,in the first instance, it was evident he would not allow himself to bebeaten with his own weapons.
The room into which they were shown was a longish narrow one; a verywide door gave them admission to it, at the end, nearest the staircase,and at its other extremity there was a similar door opening into someother apartments of the house.
Sir Francis Varney sat with his back towards this second door, and atable, with some chairs and other articles of furniture, were soarranged before him, that while they seemed but to be carelessly placedin the position they occupied, they really formed a pretty good barrierbetween him and his visitors.
The admiral, however, was too intent upon getting a sight of Varney, tonotice any preparation of this sort, and he advanced quickly into theroom.
And there, indeed, was the much dreaded, troublesome, persevering, andsingular looking being who had caused such a world of annoyance to thefamily of the Bannerworths, as well as disturbing the peace of the wholedistrict, which had the misfortune to have him as an inhabitant.
If anything, he looked thinner, taller, and paler than usual, and thereseemed to be a slight nervousness of manner about him, as he slowlyinclined his head towards the admiral, which was not quite intelligible.
"Well," said Admiral Bell, "you invited me to breakfast, and my learnedfriend; here we are."
"No two human beings," said Varney, "could be more welcome to myhospitality than yourself and Dr. Chillingworth. I pray you to beseated. What a pleasant thing it is, after the toils and struggles ofthis life, occasionally to sit down in the sweet companionship of suchdear friends."
He made a hideous face as he spoke, and the admiral looked as if he werehalf inclined to quarrel at that early stage of the proceedings.
"Dear friends!" he said; "well, well--it's no use squabbling about aword or two; but I tell you what it is, Mr. Varney, or Sir FrancisVarney,
or whatever your d----d name is--"
"Hold, my dear sir," said Varney--"after breakfast, if you please--afterbreakfast."
He rang a hand-bell as he spoke, and the woman who had charge of thehouse brought in a tray tolerably covered with the materials for asubstantial morning's meal. She placed it upon the table, and certainlythe various articles that smoked upon it did great credit to herculinary powers.
"Deborah," said Sir Varney, in a mild sort of tone, "keep on continuallybringing things to eat until this old brutal sea ruffian has satiatedhis disgusting appetite."
The admiral opened his eyes an enormous width, and, looking at SirFrancis Varney, he placed his two fists upon the table, and drew a longbreath.
"Did you address those observations to me," he said, at length, "youblood-sucking vagabond?"
"Eh?" said Sir Francis Varney, looking over the admiral's head, as if hesaw something interesting on the wall beyond.
"My dear admiral," said Mr. Chillingworth, "come away."
"I'll see you d----d first!" said the admiral. "Now, Mr. Vampyre, noshuffling; did you address those observations to me?"
"Deborah," said Sir Francis Varney, in silvery tones, "you can removethis tray and bring on the next."
"Not if I know it," said the admiral "I came to breakfast, and I'll haveit; after breakfast I'll pull your nose--ay, if you were fifty vampyres,I'd do it."
"Dr. Chillingworth," said Varney, without paying the least attention towhat the admiral said, "you don't eat, my dear sir; you must be fatiguedwith your night's exertions. A man of your age, you know, cannot besupposed to roll and tumble about like a fool in a pantomime withimpunity. Only think what a calamity it would be if you were laid up.Your patients would all get well, you know."
"Sir Francis Varney," said Mr. Chillingworth, "we're your guests; wecome here at your invitation to partake of a meal. You have wantonlyattacked both of us. I need not say that by so doing you cast a fargreater slur upon your own taste and judgment than you can upon us."
"Admirably spoken," said Sir Francis Varney, giving his hands a claptogether that made the admiral jump again. "Now, old Bell, I'll fightyou, if you think yourself aggrieved, while the doctor sees fair play."
"Old who?" shouted the admiral.
"Bell, Bell--is not your name Bell?--a family cognomen, I presume, onaccount of the infernal clack, clack, without any sense in it, that isthe characteristic of your race."
"You'll fight me?" said the admiral, jumping up.
"Yes; if you challenge me."
"By Jove I do; of course"
"Then I accept it; and the challenged party, you know well, or ought toknow, can make his own terms in the encounter."
"Make what terms you please; I care not what they are. Only say you willfight, and that's sufficient."
"It is well," said Sir Francis Varney, in a solemn tone.
"Nay, nay," interrupted Mr. Chillingworth; "this is boyish folly."
"Hold your row," said the admiral, "and let's hear what he's got tosay."
"In this mansion," said Sir Francis Varney--"for a mansion it is,although under the unpretending name of a lodge--in this mansion thereis a large apartment which was originally fitted up by a scientificproprietor of the place, for the purpose of microscopic and otherexperiments, which required a darkness total and complete, such adarkness as seems as if it could be felt--palpable, thick, and obscureas the darkness of the tomb, and I know what that is."
"The devil you do!" said this admiral "It's damp, too, ain't it?"
"The room?"
"No; the grave."
"Oh! uncommonly, after autumnal rains. But to resume--this room islarge, lofty, and perfectly empty."
"Well?"
"I propose that we procure two scythes."
"Two what?"
"Scythes, with their long handles, and their convenient holding places."
"Well, I'll be hanged! What next do you propose?"
"You may be hanged. The next is, that with these scythes we be both ofus placed in the darkened room, and the door closed, and doubly lockedupon us for one hour, and that then and there we do our best each to cutthe other in two. If you succeed in dismembering me, you will have wonthe day; but I hope, from my superior agility"--here Sir Francis jumpedupon his chair, and sat upon the back of it--"to get the better of you.How do you like the plan I have proposed? Does it meet your wishes?"
"Curse your impudence!" said the admiral, placing his elbows upon thetable and resting his chin in astonishment upon his two hands.
"Nay," interrupted Sir Francis, "you challenged me; and, besides, you'llhave an equal chance, you know that. If you succeed in striking mefirst, down I go; whereas it I succeed in striking you first, down yougo."
As he spoke, Sir Francis Varney stretched out his foot, and closed asmall bracket which held out the flap of the table on which the admiralwas leaning, and, accordingly, down the admiral went, tea-tray and all.
Mr. Chillingworth ran to help him up, and, when they both recoveredtheir feet, they found they were alone.
Varney the Vampire; Or, the Feast of Blood Page 59
