I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. Shiloh sounded so dejected, so embarrassed by her actions, and it hurt to hear her humble herself like that.
“A female MC president is virtually unheard of. We may not be outlaws, but the structure of the officers is the same. The last thing I wanted was to make the club a laughing stock with a woman at the helm, so I thought if I really proved myself by excelling at my chosen trades and becoming the best at everything, it would give me a decent run at the job. Falling in love with Zander is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but just like at school, people judged me not just as the club princess but also because of the men I had at my back. I guess I panicked and thought I could only be given that patch if I had a strong and capable man like Zander to back me up in case there was something people thought I couldn’t handle.”
Shiloh stopped talking suddenly, and her head tilted to the side, a look of concentration on her face, then a small smile lifted at the corner of her mouth before she continued.
“Darth said he would like to remind you all that at the start of all your relationships, each and every one of you kept a piece of you secret from your women. You were too scared to show your weakness, and it wasn’t until you were about to lose what meant the most to you that you found the courage to shuck off those fears. That was all I did. I hid from my fear of not being good enough on my own merits. It wasn’t until tonight when I came so close to losing the love that I need to breathe that I was able to come clean. I just needed a kick up the arse.”
I looked at Shiloh with what must have been a shocked look on my face. It wasn’t often that Shiloh shared what she and Darth talked about.
I heard her laugh and giggle at him, sometimes answering him out loud with ‘shut up’ or ‘whatever, big man’ but not going as far as repeating what was said between them.
The whole room went eerily quiet, a combination of shocked and haunted looks on all the men’s faces. Steel was the first to speak up.
“Fucking Darth. Damn, I miss the big prick even after all these years,” Steel mumbled, his voice gruff with emotion.
“Yeah, wish he could have met Bastian, seen the man he is growing into,” Deck said quietly.
“And my twin girls,” Mannix added.
“He knows,” Shiloh said softly. “He sees them every day, watches them. He is so proud of all us kids, of Gabe, Sebastian, Cole, and Dane’s commitment to being the best soldiers they can be. He is happy that Ford and Lucky adopted Alex, and he is happy for Zander and me. But most of all, he is proud of his brothers and what you have done with the club. The thriving businesses and your marriages.” Shiloh let out a sob, tears once again trickling down her cheeks. “He misses you all so much. He watches what goes on, and he is so effing proud of you all.”
Shiloh stopped, then turned her head slightly to her left again, listened for a moment, and nodded.
“Darth said if his vote still counts, he votes yes for me to sit at the head of the table.”
She then stepped back and leaned against my chest, her tiny body shaking. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her and pulled her closer into the warmth of my chest, Deck’s low growl not stopping me from comforting my woman.
Her body relaxed right away, and so did mine. Hearing her relay Darth’s words was a little freaky and very sad.
“I am so sorry for what I have done. I have no excuse and won’t insult you by coming up with one, but I have always had the club’s best interests at heart. I understand you need to talk now, and I will accept any decision you make, but the one I won’t accept is losing Zander from my life for the sake of my patch. A piece of material doesn’t come close to what I feel for him.”
I squeezed my eyes closed, praying the tears stinging the backs of my eyes wouldn’t fall. My heart ached with so much love for this tiny woman that I could happily drown in it.
Deck cleared his throat and then looked at his daughter. “Baby girl, I think your mum wants to chat with you in the kitchen.”
I felt Shiloh shiver slightly, and I couldn’t hold back my grunt of laughter.
“I think you are about to get flocked, Spunky,” I whispered in her ear before giving her lobe a quick bite, causing another shiver to run through her.
“Oh, joy,” she muttered. “They better have caramel slice.” She turned in my arms and gave me a chaste kiss on my lips right there in front of her father.
“Love you,” she whispered against my mouth.
I ignored the sound of a chair being pushed back from the table. I guessed at least one of my brothers would hold him off until Shiloh left the room.
“Love you more, honey,” I vowed, then released her from my embrace, letting her go for now.
“Shiloh,” Booth called out.
“Yeah, Pres?”
“His vote still counts. Tell the big guy we miss him, too,” Booth said to her, his own eyes a little misty.
“I will,” Shiloh assured him, then she walked out of the room, leaving me with some very pissed off men.
Well, fuck, here we go.
Chapter 7
Shiloh
You would think I would be able to handle anything after an interrogation in the war room, wouldn’t you?
Well, you would be wrong because there was one thing that was scarier, and I was facing it now. My mother and her flock stared me down as I tried valiantly to ignore them while I ate my third piece of my Aunt Stella’s legendary caramel slice.
When Zander joked in my ear, sending shivers all the way to my core earlier, he was actually serious. The flock was known for their lectures, and everyone in the club had experienced their wrath at least once.
I, of course, had received many tongue lashings from the women of Wounded Souls. When I was younger, it had been my swearing or allowing my childhood dog, C.O.D., to chew up his new bed, of which there were many. At least once a week, I reckon I had to stand in front of them and have my ear chewed off for one thing or another. Tonight was no different, well, a little more serious because, in their eyes, I had committed the ultimate sin. I took away their opportunity to see me get engaged and throw a party for me.
That was another thing that was legendary around the compound—their parties.
So here I was, sitting this time, at the end of the large kitchen table with a plate of baked goods and five annoyed women in front of me.
You have better odds surviving the brothers than you do in here, Squirt.
Do I, really? Thank you, Darf. You are full of helpful hints lately, I answered him silently. If the women knew he was in here with me, they would insist on giving him a piece of their minds, too. Hang on, that’s not a bad idea. It might take a little of the heat off me, I mused.
Don’t even think about it, kid.
Darth’s response made me chuckle, which I quickly covered up with a cough when my mother’s eyes narrowed in on me, then she looked to my left and then my right with a scowl.
“Busted.” I snickered.
I’m out, Darth declared before a small gust of wind tickled at the back of my neck.
Coward, I mumbled to myself. Obviously, this flocking was going to be a one-woman show.
“Shiloh, what on earth were you thinking?”
“How could my son propose without telling his or your parents first?”
“You want to be the president of the club?”
“How have you managed to keep this secret for so long?”
“You are going to have a bachelorette party, aren’t you?”
One by one, my mother and her flock threw questions at me, some of which were pertinent to the situation. Rainn’s question about the party was the odd one out, not that it surprised me. Aunt Rainn might be the mother of five, three with Mannix and his two from his first marriage, but she still had that wild streak in her.
I decided my best course of action was to answer them in order. That way, I wouldn’t get stuck in here for too long. Zander and I had some major make-up sex on the agenda.
“I don’t know, Mum. It seemed like a good idea. Memph, I am so sorry, but please don’t blame Zander because I asked him to go along with my plan. Aunty Mia, yes, I have for a very long time now. Blondie, I guess just dumb luck. Rainn, of course, I am going to have a bachelorette party. I’m sure you and the rest of the flock will come up with a night of drunkenness and trouble.” When I’d finished, I drew in a lung full of air, then sat back and waited.
“Don’t be a smarty-pants, young lady. This is serious, Shiloh. You deceived your family deliberately, pulled Zander in on your crazy plan, and, worst of all, you have disappointed the men you call brothers,” my mum said in her schoolteacher’s voice. When I was a kid, my mother started out as my day care and dance teacher, then she met my dad, and they fell in love just about from the first day. Since then, she has not only been my mum but also my biggest supporter. Lying to her for the past eighteen months and seeing the hurt look on her face guilt-tripped me more than anything.
“Mum, I really am sorry. I didn’t stop to think what a mess I was creating. The longer I kept things secret, the deeper they became. I only saw what I wanted to see. It never occurred to me that my actions would hurt so many people.” I could hear the regret and shame in my voice, and I did regret it all, hurting my friends and family—and especially Zander.
I nearly dropped to my knees with utter relief in the main room earlier when he took me in his arms and declared right there in front of everyone that he loved me. I could still feel his possessive kiss on my lips, and my lobe still throbbed with the feeling of his teeth scraping it, his warm breath on the skin of my neck.
Zander was still mine. The patch I have wanted for my entire life might not be, but that paled into nothing compared to Zander.
Memphis, who was across from me, and had remained quiet so far except for that one question, leaned over the table.
“Hands,” she demanded, and I complied immediately. Memphis and I had always had a tight bond. She was with me the day Darth was killed, and even blind, she protected me, holding it together until we finally heard my dad and the rest of the club rescuing us. She took a bullet in the leg that day, and I remember so clearly helping her hold her pink jumper to the bleeding wound. It was funny that I could remember a detail so obscure like the colour of her jumper, yet I couldn’t remember what Rogue looked like.
I slipped my hands into my future mother-in-law’s and looked into her ocean green eyes. She never wore sunglasses like most blind people. She always said that the eyes were a window into a person’s soul, blind or not.
“Sweet girl, I know how much my boy loves you, but I don’t think you know exactly how deep that love runs in his veins.”
I tried to protest, but she squeezed them in gentle warning.
“I’m not finished. My son would walk to the ends of the earth for you. He always had your back when you got into trouble for all the mischief you two got into. Shiloh Zoe, I remember a little girl of four telling me she was going to be a ninja, a soldier, a mechanic, and I remember you proudly telling me that you were going to be the president of your daddy’s club. I believed you would then and still do today.”
Memphis’s words brought tears back to my eyes.
Stella, the wife of my president and the woman I spent a great deal of my time with as a toddler, spoke up. “You have achieved so much for a woman your age, and for a woman raised in a world of men, you made your own path and attained so many of your dreams.” Her soft blonde almost white hair hadn’t changed over the years. In fact, she looked just as youthful now as she did then.
“But, Shiloh,” Mia interrupted.
I turned in my seat, my hands still clasped in Zander’s mum’s, and looked at another woman I spent so much time with as a little girl.
“Remember, honey, you were also raised by five strong and determined women,” she reminded me. “In one way or another, all five of us went after what we wanted, what our hearts desired. The difference is, we did it without hurting anyone in the process.” Mia’s gentle reprimand was delivered with kindness, but that didn’t mean it stung any less.
My eyes dropped to the table, the remnants of my caramel slice eating feast on a plate. I made myself focus on the crumbs instead of looking into the eyes of the women who helped mould me into what I was today—or what I used to be before my stupid plan for world domination possessed me and turned me into a deceiving and lesser version of myself.
“I am so ashamed of what I did. I told Booth that I understand if he decides to take away my VP patch.”
“This isn’t about your patch, baby girl,” my mother said. “This is about you forgetting the very basic principles of being a woman in the Wounded Souls MC. The men live by a code that means the world to them, makes them who they are,—brave, strong, fearless, and protective of what is theirs. But we have one, too Shiloh, and do you know what that is?” she asked, though I got the impression she didn’t need me to answer it because she kept going. “Honesty. Being honest about who you are inside. Being strong enough to go after what you want and be proud of it. Pride and honesty go hand in hand, my darling girl. Be proud of who you are now, not who you could be. You have the same strength of character your father has, the same fierce loyalty and commitment to those you love. Don’t forget that, Shiloh.” My mother put her hands over Memphis’s, then one after another, the other ladies did the same, leaving mine underneath a tower of hands.
This was what I’d needed, the strong support and enduring love of the flock. Why hadn’t I believed that no matter what I went after, these women would always have my back and would be there for me? Why had I deceived them?
Because you didn’t believe in yourself. The answer was whispered in my ear so quietly, I nearly missed it. When Darth’s big hands came down and rested on my shoulders, a sudden warmth spread through me.
Okay, Darf, head pulled out of arse.
About time, kiddo, now go find some of Stell’s black jelly beans and have a handful for me. Goddamn, I miss black jelly beans.
I let out a shaky laugh, thankful for the change in the direction of my mood. I was emotionally exhausted, and all I wanted to do was go home with my man and have that make-up sex he alluded to in the war room. I knew Zander and I would get passed all this and come out the other end stronger than ever. He was my soulmate, the other piece of me, but first…
“Blondie, I have a-hankerin' for some black jelly beans. Got any?”
***
I pushed the key into the door and unlocked it, sighing with utter relief at the sound of complete silence that greeted me as I opened the door.
My revelations tonight and the heart-stopping almost-ultimatum from Zander earlier at the house really wiped me.
Shrugging off my cut, I hung it on the coat hook as I made my way to the kitchen, the loud snoring coming from the room bringing a smile to my lips. I knew without looking that my huge lump of a dog would be sprawled out on his belly, all four legs spread-eagled and waiting for me to come home and give him some attention.
When my first dog Trigger died—well, he actually belonged to my uncle Steel, but at the age of two, I claimed her as mine—at the ripe old age of fourteen. A few years later, C.O.D., my bulldog, died from kidney disease. All the Souls men surprised me with a huge eight-week-old English mastiff puppy. I, of course, named him Vader much to Darth’s displeasure. That puppy was now ten years old and weighed in at eighty-six kilograms and was lazy as an ox.
“Hey there, big guy. Did Mummy leave you without telling you? I’m sorry, Vader, but Mummy needed to grovel to Daddy, then she had to grovel to Grandpa and the rest of the club,” I said to the big brute as I leaned down and lovingly caressed his silky soft ears. His tail thumped wildly on the kitchen hardwood floor but other than that, he made no other movement.
His last vet visit hadn’t gone well. They’d found a large tumour in his belly after I noticed he wasn’t eating like usual. The vet decided that his age and weight were too much of a concern
for operating. So, at the moment, they are treating the tumour with medications. The vet said if we could get his weight down to a healthier level, they might consider operating. Until then, he was on a diet of boiled rice, vegetables, and a special dry food formula. This did not please my steak-eating friend, nor did it sit well with me that he was upset he had to eat such a horrible bland concoction, but I wanted him around for as long as possible. I’d suffered too much loss over the years, and losing Vader was something I was not ready for.
Deck will love that you call him grandpa to a dog. Darth snickered.
I looked up and saw the big fella sitting at the kitchen table, an amused grin on his face.
“Well, he said I can’t have kids until I am thirty-five, so he can suck it up,” I muttered, not at all surprised that my father forbade me to have children until he said so. Typical Wounded Souls alpha male!
You did good tonight, Squirt. Made me proud. Made Zander proud.
I shook my head just a little, a heated blush racing up my neck and cheeks.
“Thanks, big fella, I feel better, you know? Even though I have probably ruined my chances of ever becoming president, I feel better. Hurting Zander the way I have been, all the lies and secrets, and coming clean and admitting our love and relationship means far more than any of that other stuff,” I admitted and really meant it. For so long, I held the dream of wearing the president’s patch, worked hard to prove myself, and when I was faced with the choice of losing that or Zander, I didn’t even need to think about it.
The brothers will vote the right way, baby girl, but there is a due process that must be followed. Rules and guidelines are how the Souls work, always has, always will.
I nodded my head in agreement. “I know, Darf, but it doesn’t matter, honestly.” I paused a minute to look down at the ring on my finger. The thick white-gold band felt incredibly right sitting there, comfortable. Looking up, I gave Darth a genuine smile.
Her Prince (The Wounded Souls Series Book 6) Page 7
