Brad grins. “Rainey’s going to be disappointed. She has an online bingo board with the others on the name of your next hookup. She’s one spot away. She was hoping for a ‘Trixie.’”
I choke. “Are you serious or just fucking with me?”
“I’m just telling you what I know. I’m not sure if there’s bragging rights involved or actual cash.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Scrubbing a hand over my face, I swallow down my laughter over the absurdity of this before pain lances through me when I realize Maris is likely involved with this shit. For the sake of that alone, I don’t mention I banged a “dancer” who went by Topless Trixie when I first got to Vegas in an attempt to forget a woman with mahogany hair and deep blue eyes. I’ll go to the grave with that before I let Rainey win.
Because then we all lose.
“Have to admit I’m amazed you’re here,” Brad says after we’re on the road to his place.
Sights and memories flash by as he accelerates past downtown Juneau. “Got a line on a new fighter. I’m here to put them through their paces.”
“From Juneau?” Brad’s shock is understandable. Never before have I personally scouted someone from Alaska, though members of my team have.
“Yep. If you can believe it, he’s a former Lumberjack.” I mentally count to three because I know my friends and…
Brad throws back his head and roars. “Tell me this is a joke. You’re really up here to give a statement for the fostering, right?”
I let out a long-suffering sigh. “Why would I make up something so…wait, what? Are you and Rainey adding to your family?” It wouldn’t surprise me. Last spring, they had a full house hosting Rainey’s sister’s children until the lot of them moved down to Montana. And despite the internal family struggles that it caused for a short time, I know if Rainey wanted to add to their family, Brad would be on board.
Brad flushes. “Crap. You mean there really is a fighter here?”
Even as a small knot begins to form in my stomach, I answer. “Brad, have you ever known me willingly to travel to Alaska?”
“Well, shit. Me and my big mouth.”
“No argument from me.”
An awkward silence descends between us as we reach Brad’s SUV. “Now, what’s this about fostering? Did Rainey finally decide you were too much trouble and decide to put you up at a local shelter?” I drawl.
“Cute, Nick. Really. How about I let her explain the whole thing when we reach the house—that is, after the kids climb you like a tree.”
As we pass the cemetery where Jed’s buried, I reach up and clasp the gold cross I’m never without. I remember contacting Kody last year on Jed’s birthday drunk off my ass because a fighter taunted me after the clasp broke. “Loosened a few of the fucker’s teeth. Hope you got to see that,” I murmur, remembering the retaliatory beat down when he swung the chain in front of me before pocketing it.
“Did you say something?” Brad asks.
“Just catching Jed up.”
“We’ll go by and see him. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Not going out with your crew in the morning?” Brad owns several fishing boats. He’d prefer to be out with one doing day trips bringing the fresh catch to local Juneau residents and restaurants.
He snorts. “I’d love to. I have to spend the day in the office catching up on paperwork. Rainey said she’s going to divorce me if I don’t. Makes me miss Meadow more than ever.” Meadow, Rainey’s older sister, used to manage Brad’s office for a while before moving to Bigfork, Montana, as a result of her divorce.
“Who do you have doing the work?” I ask as we pull up into the Meyerses’ driveway.
He shakes his head before we both exit the vehicle. I grab my duffle from where I stowed it in the back seat. “Rainey handles most of the day-to-day stuff like payroll. It’s the stuff like license renewal, taxes, that kind of crap that Meadow used to rock at and I hate doing.”
A very irritated voice adds on, “If you would just hire someone, then all your worries would go away.” Rainey comes up on my blind side and wraps her arms around me. “Hi, Nick. Welcome to the Fun House.”
“Hey, babe.” I press a kiss to the top of Rainey’s dark hair and wrap an arm around her shoulder as Brad circles the back of the car. “Being abused by the boss?”
She tips her head back and rolls her eyes. “Listen, I’m about twelve seconds away from begging my sister to give up her job to work for Brad remotely.”
We all laugh as we move toward the house. After we mount the steps, Rainey asks Brad, “Did you warn him about the inmates?”
“Yep. Nick knows that his tree duties commence the moment you open that door.”
“Good. Are you here to provide a statement for Maris to foster that little boy?”
Suddenly, every single muscle in my body freezes. My hand is on the handle of the storm door. Just beyond it, I can see Josh and Sophie—Brad and Rainey’s six- and eight-year-old children—beginning their charge for the door. “What do you mean? Maris is fostering children?” I hold the door firmly closed while I turn to face my friends.
Rainey blows her breath out so hard, it musses her hair. “Oh, boy. You didn’t know?”
I shake my head, too stunned to speak.
“He’s here to see a fighter,” Brad offers.
“Must be one hell of a fighter,” she offers before scurrying around me and wrenching the storm door out of my hands. She must have some mother superpower, because I’m certain I had all of my weight on it, and there’s no way Rainey Meyers can take me down.
Except with the words she just dropped in the air.
“Come on. Let the kids climb on you, and then I’ll get you a drink.” Brad grabs my bag.
“Yeah. That’s a good plan.” And then I want—no, need—to see Maris. I’m not certain my mind will rest until I do.
Nicholas
I try not to slam the gin and tonic Brad poured me down on the coffee table. “You mean to tell me she’s been taunting you all about having a baby for over a year. That turns out to be Maris just getting a rise out of you because the whole time she’s been going through classes to be eligible to foster a child? And Kara and Jennings knew? Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?” I’m incredulous that something so impactful to someone so…important to me hasn’t been shared before now.
Brad’s about to respond, but Rainey beats him to it. “Why would it matter to you, Nick? Where in the grand scheme of your life does Maris fall? Is she somewhere between sister-from-another-mister or a lost opportunity?” Rainey punctuates her words with a sip of wine.
Rainey’s words stun me. “How about friend, or am I not allowed to have those?”
“Touché, but you’re not going to talk her out of this.”
“Who said I want to?” What I want to do is to hug her and tell her exactly what I’m certain her brother would. I’m so damn proud of you for going after your dreams. Because it wasn’t just my dreams we talked about all those long-ago summers. I’ve known for close to twenty years about Maris’s deep-seated desire to become a mother. After all, I wasn’t a total prick. I listened when she spoke about what she wanted from life: a family, a home, a man who loved her. I just wasn’t the one who should give it to her. Despite how much a part of me wanted to.
And always will.
Now, I wonder if my words will mean anything to her based on Rainey’s hostility. “When is all of this taking place?” I duck my head and cut into the chicken Brad grilled earlier.
“Right now,” Rainey announces.
My head snaps back up. “Really?”
“That’s why your timing was circumspect, Nick,” Brad explains. “Rainey and I have already been contacted by her home inspection caseworker. Kara has as well.”
“Well, gee. Have Kody and Meadow received a golden invitation to this little party as well?” My silverware clatters against my plate as I toss it aside, appetite gone.
“No, but Meadow knew Maris met and fell i
n love with this little boy…” Rainey’s voice trails off. She lays her hand over one of my fists. I didn’t even realize I’d clenched them. “Nick, I don’t think she deliberately cut you out. But, out of curiosity, when was the last time you checked your personal email?”
“Jed used to know if it didn’t get forwarded to my business account I never saw it.” I dig into the pocket of my jeans for my cell. Once I unlock it and flip the phone around, Rainey winces when she sees the six-digit number on the bottom of the display. “Right. I bet if you search for an email from Maris, you’ll find she officially told all of us at the same time. She isn’t cruel like that.”
“You’re right.”
Rainey pauses. “Nick, she probably thinks you didn’t care when you didn’t respond.”
Of all the things I would care about in this world, it would be Maris. “I give a damn about all of you.” The understatement of a century. I unclench my hand and turn it around, squeezing Rainey’s fingers before letting them go. Standing, I push away from the table. “If you don’t mind giving me a few moments?” I stride to the back door.
“Where are you going, Nick?” Brad calls out.
“I need to make a call.” I just want to know where Maris is going to be tonight. So much has devastated her in the last few years. If there’s some way I can smooth the way to make this easier for her, I will.
I’m already pressing Send on her cell phone number as the back door closes behind me. “Well, this is a banner day.” Maris’s voice comes through as clear as if she were sitting right next to me.
I don’t beat around the bush. “I’m in Juneau. Where are you going to be tonight?”
She sputters. “Excuse me? I grew out of needing a chaperone a long time ago, Nick.” She takes a deep breath as if she’s about to say more. I brace myself for a mass of vitriol to be spewed, but nothing comes.
I jump in while I have the chance. “Maris, I’d like to see you if you’re free.”
Silence greets my declaration at first before her voice changes to concerned. “Is everything okay? If not, I can arrange for someone to take the shift I just agreed to cover.”
“No. I mean, yes. Everything is fine. Like I said, I just wanted to see you.”
An awkward tension descends between us. “Well, if that’s the case, I’ll be at the Brewhouse. I can’t say I’ll have a lot of time though.”
Aside from our text months ago, it’s the most patience Maris has shown me in years. Before I can tell Maris I’ll wait until her shift is over to speak with her if I have to, the call disconnects in my ear after a quiet, “Goodbye, Nick.”
I hang up, both disquieted with this side of Maris and disgusted with myself for not saying more. “Well, at least I know where I’ll be going tonight.”
That’s when a voice causes my heart to jump out of my chest. “Do you know what a pain it is to get my parents to babysit at the last minute?” Rainey grumbles.
“Christ, Rainey. Did you follow me out here?”
“From the moment you got up from the table,” she confirms.
I shoot her a filthy look. She merely shrugs. “No offense, Nick, but you constantly leave everyone guessing. I wasn’t sure if you were coming out here to congratulate Maris or be a dick.”
Affronted, I step back. “Is that so?”
“The one person who could translate you better than anyone is gone,” she throws back before her attitude relents. Coming to stand by my side, she hooks an arm around my waist. “Sometimes without Jed, I feel like the rest of us are drowning. Don’t you?”
My heart aches at her words. “Yes. But he isn’t the only one who knows me.”
Rainey’s eyes close. “I figured as much. The problem is you let her go. And you’ve both changed, so maybe she doesn’t know she’s close enough to matter.” While I take the blow from that verbal hit, Rainey slugs me with another. “She must have recognized you were never going to feel the same way about her she always has about you, so she decided to move on with her dreams. Good for her.”
I stagger back. “What do you mean?”
“I mean it’s finally time for a woman with a heart of gold to offer her heart to someone who can return that love. Who cares if he’s a little boy?” Assuming that shot, like so many others she’s fired off at me tonight, would bounce off me like I’m made of steel, Rainey heads back into the house.
Maris’s heart? No. That’s not possible. If I did, that would make me the stupidest man alive. After all, Jed would have told me…wouldn’t he? But how many times did he taunt me and I didn’t listen.
A cold sweat breaks out along my back. “Oh, God. I think I’m going to be sick.” Bending over, I recall the way I flew after her the day of the funeral when Jed left me his cross. “To Nicholas Cain, I leave my gold cross and chain. There was never a day I didn’t wear it. Faith was important to me. You need to believe something, my friend. It wasn’t me who saved you. It’s time for you to accept that as you look in the mirror. Maybe if you’re wearing this, you will.”
How many times have I looked in the mirror since Jed left his cross to me have I thought of Maris?
Every. Single. One.
“Is this the truth you were trying to show me, you crazy bastard?” I yell. “How the hell was I supposed to know?” There’s no answer, but somehow I know Jed’s up there amused as shit at my mental overload. “Asshole’s probably thinking that my perfectly ordered life needs to be messed up. It doesn’t, you bastard. I had it all fucking arranged. Wake up, work out, eat, sleep. Once I saw her, I didn’t even care about finding someone. Was that part of your grand plan?” Furious, I glare up at the clear blue sky.
The door creaks open behind me before Brad steps out. “We try to keep the cursing to a minimum, Nick. The kids are plastered to the bathroom window watching you. They’re asking Rainey what certain words mean.”
“I’m sure that’s jacking her opinion of me even higher than it was.” Planting my hands on my hips, I stand my ground. I demand, “Did you know?”
“Know what?”
“About Maris? About her—” I swallow hard before pushing the words out. “—having feelings for me?”
His face takes on a sorrowful cast. “Nick, man. I think the only one who didn’t was you.”
It feels like the night I took a kidney shot from Martinez right before I pulled a haymaker out of my ass to turn the title fight around that fateful night. I open and close my mouth before I finally turn away.
“Nick…”
“Have you ever noticed the most critical moments of life are made up of seconds?”
“What do you mean?”
“Actions and reactions. They happen in seconds. The repercussions are what take years to resolve.” Without changing my posture, I tell Brad in a monotone, “I would like to see Maris tonight. She told me she’s working.”
“Yeah, I, uh, overheard Rainey bellowing for a babysitter. Come on, Nick—finish your chow. That is, unless you plan on eating at the Brewhouse. Food’s great.” Brad’s voice holds a note of pride.
Frowning, I turn around. “Food? At the Brewhouse? The place just has a liquor license.”
Brad holds open the door. “Brother, you are in for some major surprises tonight. Maybe this will teach you to finally check your email. Whodathunkit? Jed’s going to force you to finally join us on the group email from the grave.” He laughs as I re-enter the house.
Deciding I’ve had enough, I wait to reply until I’m reseated. Rainey has a concerned look on her face. I offer her a wan smile as I sit back down. “Or maybe I’ll hire someone to check my email and just flag any messages I need to read. You know, kind of like you should be doing instead of tormenting your poor wife.”
Rainey beams while Brad groans. “You should listen to Nick, honey.”
“Words I never thought I would ever hear spoken at this table,” Brad chuckles. “Fine. I’ll put an ad in the paper after tax season. Happy?”
But no words are needed as Rainey has
run around the table and thrown herself at Brad to give him a long kiss. Now, if only the things I’ve managed to fuck up were so easy to fix.
Later, I’ll get a chance when I see Maris again. Hopefully.
I used to say nothing good happened in my life during my years in Alaska other than my brotherhood, but I have to amend that to include Smith’s Brewhouse. Clay Smith started the popular watering hole and passed it down to his son, Albert. Jed—a few years older than me—used to bubble over with excitement when he talked about becoming the third-generation Smith to work the Brewhouse with his sister.
All of that changed when he flew to Florida for a vacation and fell in love with Dean Malone, the irony of all ironies being that Dean was Kara Malone Jennings’s older brother. Two brothers of two best friends falling in love with one another before they died together. Their love was both beautiful and tragic. For a long time after Jed and Dean died in a car accident, I figured it was life demonstrating once again that nothing good came for free—like the night I won the belt and lost Maris. Here was her way of simply slapping down a remarkable man who had managed to finally find his soul mate but lost his life.
As Brad navigates the roads back into Juneau, I think back to the things Jed told me about Dean that most appealed to him. “Let’s be honest, Nick. Really it was lust at first sight. The man’s a hunk.”
I about fell out of my lounge chair in the beach house we rented in Malibu that year. “How utterly shallow of you, buddy.”
“Takes one to know one.” I grinned, taking no offense. But Jed went on. “But every day, he gives so much of himself to so many people. He lives with his sister and his nephew—who you’d love if you had a chance to meet them.”
As I had just started building up the training facility and the kids workout center, I took Jed’s comment at face value assuming he meant someday. I didn’t understand the clues he was dropping. Then, “What else?”
“Dean doesn’t hide who he is. He says what’s on his mind. He’s just out there, and you can take or leave him. He doesn’t get offended by it.” Jed became thoughtful. “I know it took Maris aback at first.”
Return by Sea (Glacier Adventure Series Book 3) Page 8
