by Gwen Hayes
She waited on tenterhooks for some kind of calamity to befall her. Surely if getting married were supposed to be this easy, everyone would do it much sooner and without all the silly games. And this marriage had been a scheme concocted in the minds of two inebriated men with no thought past what a lark it would be to accomplish the deed. It certainly hadn’t been carefully planned with regards to settlements or fondness between the bride and groom.
It should have been disastrous.
It…wasn’t.
She returned early from Peter’s to get ready for the dinner party. It still made her nervous that things seemed to happen magically with no direction in this house, so she sought out the cook to make sure all was well—only to find her husband in the kitchen. Tasting soup.
“And how do you find it, Lord Middleton?” she asked from the doorway.
He looked up, surprised. “It’s almost perfect, Lady Middleton. I don’t think I’d change a thing.”
She blushed without knowing why. Perhaps it was his warm smile. Or the fact that he looked like a young boy caught with his hand in the sweets. It might have been that the emphasis on his words made her think maybe he was referring to her.
“Would you care to try it?”
It was a dare, she thought. Peter used the same tone whenever he wanted her to do something outrageous. She crossed the room noticing that everyone seemed busy on a task, but it was an organized chaos. The staff knew what they were about and delicious smells layered the air. She stopped next to Teddy. He brought the spoon to her mouth, the same spoon he’d tasted from, his hand cupped under it to catch any spill. It seemed intimate, to sip from the same spoon that touched his lips—like the kisses he’d offered on their wedding night. The kisses she’d refused.
This time, she met his gaze. His fingertips grazed under her chin gently, and she put her mouth to the spoon, trusting that it wouldn’t burn her, trusting that the flavors would complement and be pleasing. Because, she realized, she trusted that he would not offer it to her if it wouldn’t suit. If it would hurt her.
His eyes never left hers as she sipped the creamed broth. The closeness of their bodies, his fingertips under her chin, and the unbroken eye contact overwhelmed her with a rush of unfamiliar emotions. “It’s delicious,” she whispered in a voice that was not her own.
“Your eyes have specks of brown and gold in them. Did you know that?”
She couldn’t answer. She was afraid to even breathe lest it disrupt the lovely moment. She trembled despite the fact that Juliette Grace Fairchild Middleton was not the trembling sort. It was as if, in an instant, he became her entire world.
“If the soup is to your liking, sir, perhaps you’d be good enough to remove yourself from the stove so as I can finish the rest of the meal.”
He turned slightly to smile at the cook and let her know the soup was divine. It took all Juliette’s inner strength not to pull Teddy’s face back to her. She wanted his smiles, she wanted his compliments, and she wanted to trace the lines around his mouth with her finger. The urge to touch him was so powerful she had to fist the material of her dress.
Later that evening, at a very odd dinner part thrown by the duke, they were seated not quite directly across from each other when the sensations overwhelmed her again. He laughed at something someone said. That was all it took, a laugh. Of all the silly things in the world for her to lose her composure over, she never once considered it would be smile lines on a man.
The guests were an eclectic grouping of a few family members, those who well understood the beastly ways of her brother and the duke, and the less bawdy of Peter and Derek’s friends. The conversation was still far too undignified to pass for civilized, and the behavior and volume grew to such an extreme that she thought she might plead a headache long before the men withdrew for cigars.
Then she caught sight of her husband’s calm manner and decided to stay a little while longer. Odd that she never realized how handsome he was before now. She supposed that the few times they’d been in the same room before their marriage, she’d been too busy trying to mitigate whatever damage Peter was about to heap upon all her hard earned order. Mother was never much help, falling into the hole of hysteria at the least provocation. No, it was always Juliette who needed to keep their lives, and their livelihood, running with precision.
When the soup tureen was brought in, she felt the flush heat her cheeks immediately and sought the notice of Teddy. He was, in fact, already looking at her, an inscrutable expression on his face. She smiled to relieve his seriousness and he rewarded her, my how he did reward her. His face opened into a smile so bright she might freckle to look upon it. And then it changed into the most mischievous of grins and he dipped his head, but not his eyes, to eat the creamy soup.
It started as a small flutter in her abdomen. She might have missed it any other time if she had been conversing or immersed in a book. The barely perceptible flutter increased when his lips touched the spoon and she gasped quietly, swallowing hard. With just the tip of his tongue, he swiped the spoon and she thought there might be a flock of sparrows in her middle, flapping their wings and leaving her breathless and out of control. Anticipation filled her. For what she didn’t know.
* * *
Juliette was gorgeous.
The pink skin on her cheeks warmed him from the inside out. He’d made her blush. By his count, at least twice today.
He’d always thought her pretty, of course. Eyes the color of green, green grass with flecks of gold and brown, rosy heart shaped lips, and what looked like yards of golden curls made her, as Derek so eloquently stated, comely. When she blushed, however, his heart fumbled around his chest for a rhythm.
There were worse things in life than being married to a beautiful woman who blushed when you ate soup.
As each course was cleared and another set down, Teddy tried to catch her eye at odd times. It became very important to him that she notice him, that she didn’t forget him. Did he understand his new preoccupation? Of course not.
She was a woman of mystery as far as he was concerned. She revealed herself to him in such tiny expressions, he didn’t dare hope he’d ever really know her. She liked chocolate and more sugar in her tea than anyone he’d ever known. She was an intelligent debater on matters of current events and financial news. And he’d ask Mrs. White to prepare cream soup every evening if Juliette promised to bloom with pink every day for the rest of his life.
And that was all he really knew about her.
The more the wine flowed, the more raucous the clamor the duke’s friends made. Then they began toasting. To nonsense. Ships that were about sail, women they hoped to bed, money they hoped to win at cards, and finally, a toast to the bride and groom from Peter.
May it be a love match.
He met Juliette’s eyes across the table and she offered a watery smile. She was used to her salacious brother, but he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable in her own home. “Gentlemen, shall we adjourn?”
The men filed out to the library, the women to the conservatory, and Teddy to the stairs in the great hall, where he sat and wondered what to do with himself. He didn’t want to go anywhere near the library, of that much he was certain.
Ten minutes later, he was joined by his wife.
She climbed the stairs, and he stood to escort her to their chambers. Perhaps she felt ill. She surprised him by shaking her head and sitting on the step instead. He joined her when she patted the space next to her.
“The boys are in rare form this evening,” she commented.
The obnoxious laughter from the library indicated they were well into their cups. “Yes, I suppose they are,” he added dryly.
“My mother had an agreeable evening.”
“Didn’t your mother faint before dinner?”
“Yes, but just the one time.”
“Capital,” he said. He wasn’t sure what the proper response would be in any case.
“Teddy, do you remember when your br
other’s hand had to be stitched two years ago?”
He loosened his cravat a touch. “Yes, of course. He wouldn’t see a damned physician, so I had to remove the sutures myself.”
She turned her knees towards him a fraction, so that they were barely touching his. “I sewed the wound because he wouldn’t see a damned physician the night he cut himself.”
He started at her curse, and then smiled, stealing a sidelong glance. “Your work was exemplary. The stitches were very even.”
“Thank you.” Juliette wrapped her arms under her knees. “I guess I’m telling you this because I see something in you that I hadn’t noticed before.”
“What’s that?”
“Myself.”
“Well then I should have the men lining the block for a crack at a waltz with me.”
She leaned a little, bumping his shoulder playfully. “Not that way, Teddy. I’m talking about family. Our roles. Do you know why I’ve been to my family home every day?”
“I supposed it was to spend time with you mother, or maybe, God forbid, your brother.”
She shook her head. A loosened lock of gold draped over her shoulder. He wanted to touch it so badly he ached. “Yesterday, I was ordering staples and haggling with a man who shears sheep for the best price. Today, I went over the household account books three times because one of Peter’s men is stealing small amounts of money every month, and I finally figured out how he’s been doing it.”
She sounded old and young at the same time.
Juliette continued. “I don’t know how they will manage without me. I’m not saying that out of pride, so I keep going. They really don’t know how to take care of themselves over there. My mother can’t stand to look at anything that might end up on her plate that evening, including raw vegetables. She won’t go near the kitchen staff. She has no idea what rooms need airing and how often the sweep must come to prevent fires. She wouldn’t know a fair price for coal or firewood if I wrote it on the back of her hand. And Peter is no better.”
Very tentatively, Teddy placed an arm around her shoulders. “Peter and Derek are two of a kind.”
She exhaled. “They’ve told everyone we’re a love match because they think it makes for a great story. Our fathers were best friends, they are best friends, and now their siblings have united the families. It’s a children’s story happy ending to them, not a marriage.”
She didn’t flinch from his touch, so he gently eased her towards him until she rested her head on his shoulder.
“They don’t have to deal with the two people who barely know each other trying to make their way. And in sealing our fates together, they stand to lose their gatekeepers.”
He smiled at that. “Gatekeepers is an excellent description.” He wanted her to know he understood. God, did he understand. And that he found her valuable. “I’m impressed by your knowledge of accounts; perhaps you’ll show me how you found the discrepancy sometime, in case I find issue with mine.”
“Certainly, Teddy.”
She smelled like the rose garden after a light rain. The tension in her shoulders gave a little, so he rubbed her arm gently. They must have painted quite a picture, sitting in the middle of the staircase while masculine mayhem erupted in the library below.
“I used to want to run away,” he admitted, surprising them both with he admission.
Four
“Run away?” she asked.
He nodded. “But I can’t go. I can’t go anywhere. He won’t take the reins.”
Juliette lifted her head to look at him, aware of his arm holding her to his body. So serious he was, looking into the distance as if there were nothing there to look forward to. As it turns out, he wasn’t so self-sufficient.
Her husband needed her after all.
When their fathers died in a carriage accident, Derek became an unlikely duke and Peter became an unwilling earl. Nobody stopped to think about what Juliette and Teddy became—adults.
“Teddy,” she whispered. “I’m going to do something for you that no one has ever done before.”
His brows reached for each other in confusion and he swallowed hard. “What’s that?”
Juliette reached her fingers gently to his face, finally touching him. She brushed his thick brown hair on his forehead, and then let herself graze the line around his mouth ever so gently. “I’m going to make you happy.”
His eyebrows reached for each other in confusion and, truthfully, she didn’t really know what that meant anymore than he did. It was an idea that seemed a revelation of her heart, something she’d honestly not had in a very long time.
That night, lying in bed with her husband was more awkward than even the first night. The intimacy without real intimacy was staggering. She knew he’d expected her to move to her own chambers. Every night when he retired, he seemed surprised to see her there. He couldn’t be more surprised than she was though.
At first, staying with him through the night was a test of her mettle. She’d needed to feel like she’d chosen this path, though it was clear to everyone that she never had. Still, the stubborn streak that she’d acquired over the years forced her to control what was not in her control. Marrying Teddy had not been her idea, but she’d thought that by accepting it fully, she’d have a measure of management.
She was wrong.
She tossed and turned, sleep eluding her. Teddy slept mere inches from her, his warmth a tease of yearning. Would if be so bad if…after all, they were married…
She stilled and breathed rhythmically and slowly for a few moments, feigning sleep in case he was awake. And then, she rolled towards him and, God forgive her artifice, mumbled as if she were lost in dream. As if by instinct, Teddy adjusted to her, drawing her closer so that her head was on his chest and settling her comfortably against him. His heartbeat slowed a bit and his breathing returned to normal; her heart raced in return.
Awash in emotions as violent as the crashing waves of the sea battered her. She thought of Teddy’s face at the altar, when they realized what their brothers had planned, of his blank stare when he looked at a future of no choice and nothing for him in it. Then she remembered the dimple when he was raffish, the way he concerned himself with her comfort at all times, and how at this very minute, his body sheltered her from everything but him.
And now she knew where the earlier revelation on the staircase had come from. In a world full of uncertainty and chaos, she’d fallen in love with her husband.
As a young lass, she, like the other young girls, thought love would come with orchestra music and shine like polished gold and gems. Love would be loud and dazzling, overriding her senses with bursts of overstimulation. The events of her heart would be as spectacular as a coronation ball with champagne overflowing and sweet cakes everywhere.
How wrong she’d been.
She settled in further to her husband and let her feelings muddle like a good spiced wine. Love wasn’t a deafening crescendo; it was the steady cadence of deep breaths and a true heart. It wasn’t bursts of colorful silk; it was a play of shadow and light from a warm fire. Love didn’t smell like sweet treats and cologne. She inhaled his skin deeply; it smelled like pine and paper.
Love wasn’t all the things that made her nervous about life—instead, it was all the ideals she yearned for. A steady heart, a solid future, a reliable hand.
And laugh lines.
* * *
Where the devil was his newspaper?
In its place on the silver tray, were a blank page, his quill, and an inkpot.
Juliette entered the breakfast room with a jaunt in her step Teddy hadn’t noticed before. He recalled her warm, soft breath on his chest this morning and wondered if she’d be so animated if she realized how she’d been wrapped around him in her sleep.
Or if she knew what she did in his dreams last night.
He was sure the erotic dreams started with her unusual pledge to make him happy. When a man is holding a beautiful woman in his arms, be it on a stairca
se or in a bedroom, his happiness tends to be focused on matters the carnal variety. And while he wouldn’t turn down another chance to bed the enigma he’d married, his sense of honor dictated that she come to him more willing the next time. There would be pleasure in their coming together, or they wouldn’t.
Though that was much easier to stick to in a breakfast room than it had been in his bed with the woman curled into his side.
“Good morning, Teddy.”
“Good morning, Juliette.” He poured her chocolate. “I was just about to go off in search of our paper.”
“Actually, I had a hand in misplacing it today.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I’m plotting nefarious deeds.” She sipped gracefully. “I’ll need your help.”
“My help?”
“Oh, Teddy. You’re not going to start that again, are you?” She took pity on his consternation. “I’m nabbing you today, Lord Middleton.”
“I see.”
“No you don’t, but you shall soon enough. That paper is for you to list all the things you were planning on doing this day.”
Her eyes sparkled today. She was really enjoying herself. “I’ll need more paper then.”
“No, sir. You’ll have to get it all on the one. And be quick about it.”
He stared at the paper. “What are you about Juliette?”
“Make your list, Teddy.”
He did his best to condense his day to one sheet as she asked. Juliette took the tray from him and brought it to a footman. “Please see that His Grace is given this list at first sight of an open eye on him.”
This was curious indeed. She returned to the table, and he realized that the rustle of her skirts had become a sound he enjoyed. He’d never thought the mundane would come to mean so much in such a short time.
“Come, husband,” she said, reaching for his hand. “I’ve just handed the reins to the duke.”
A small panic tripped his senses. “Juliette, I appreciate the thought behind the gesture, but those are things only I can do.”
