Living contemplatively means seeing ourselves as harbingers of God’s love, ever looking beyond the people and places and events that surround us to what he is doing, how he is working, and how we might have the privilege of joining him. The increasing isolation fostered by our digital worlds makes this hard to do. Let’s be honest: In the maelstrom of daily life, we’re far more likely to be practicing the presence of our smartphones than contemplating the loving purposes of God. But as David Wells reminds us, “It is in this world, not somewhere else, that we must learn to be God-centered in our thoughts and God-honoring in our lives.”[19] This requires a discipline no less arduous than that of seeking him in solitude. In short, we need to develop a present mind, a pondering heart, and a purposeful will.
Throughout this book I have addressed our waning powers of attention and how technology trains our minds to flit continually from one thing to the next. Focus, as we’ve seen, is a dying art. As a spiritual deficiency, this shows up most often in the hubbub of our busy lives. We can be so tethered to technology that we go for hours on end without noticing the kingdom reality that hums along in the background of everything we do. Our continual connections may lull us into assuming we have a present mind, but as media theorist Douglas Rushkoff notes, “By dividing our attention between our digital extensions, we sacrifice our connection to the truer present in which we are living.”[20] This can be seen in the odd behavior of families or friends who text-message each other rather than talk, even as they sit within arm’s reach. It shows up in our habit of broadcasting our lives via tweets or texts or picture posts rather than simply savoring the moments themselves. If we are endlessly enmeshed with our digital devices, how can we hope to hear God’s voice or see his hand or grasp his heart for those all around us?
Given our increasing reliance on technology to navigate our worlds, we are going to have to work much harder at having a present mind in order to create space for God. Planning to pull away, even for brief spells throughout the day, is a helpful way to begin. Businessman Peter Bregman suggests that we commit to eighteen minutes a day. He calls for setting aside five minutes in the morning to lay out our day and five minutes in the evening to review it. But his real game changer is to stop for one minute at the top of every hour to ask, Am I doing what I most need to be doing right now? and Am I being who I most want to be right now?[21] Pondering these kinds of questions before God at least once every hour of the day could be a powerful way to recapture our capacity for contemplative living.
Beyond having a present mind, we need a pondering heart. Contemplatives seem to move at a slower pace. They are thoughtful people—they take things in and are in no hurry to speak or act. As a result, they see things others often miss. If we all had eyes to see, we would probably be astonished at how often Jesus desires to reveal his love and compassion through us, feeble though our attempts might be. Daniel Goleman, psychologist and science journalist who wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence, notes that when someone is in pain, just the presence of a loving person can have an analgesic effect on the brain’s pain center. In fact, the more empathic the ministering person, the greater the calming effect.[22] When we take the time to prayerfully ponder God’s heart for the events and people around us, we become that quiet force that changes the very atmosphere as we reach out in the love of Christ.
Living contemplatively may entail something as simple as a smile or a hug, as direct as a prayer or a word of encouragement, or as sacrificial as sabotaging our schedules or emptying out our wallets. But the joy we experience reminds us that we have nothing to lose and everything to gain in giving ourselves away for love. It is perhaps not surprising that acting altruistically appears to trigger the pleasure centers in our brains,[23] something Jesus affirmed long ago when he taught that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). This joy is what fuels us to have a purposeful will in our journey with Jesus throughout the hours of our day.
For me, the choice to act on the Spirit’s impressions is not always easy. I tilt at windmills, fearful of giving up control, worried that I haven’t heard right or that I might appear foolish or be rejected outright. I know from experience that I tend to make the whole thing a lot more complicated than it really is. Living contemplatively centers on the beautiful truth that we are never alone; the Lover of our souls eagerly awaits to partner with us. The fourteenth-century anonymous author of the classic book on contemplation called The Cloud of Unknowing wrote:
He asks no other help than your own willingness. He wills that you but gaze upon Him and abandon yourself to Him. Keep the windows and doors of your soul against the assailing of outer and inner distraction, both of which hinder His work. If you will do this, you will only reach out to Him meekly with a prayer of love and He will soon help you.[24]
It is such a simple plan—albeit one that requires humility and generosity of soul, as well as the discipline to live in the here and now. With our wills yielded to Christ, we immerse ourselves in each situation—big or small, significant or seemingly insignificant, fleeting or foundational—listening for his gentle and loving guidance. When God speaks, we choose to obey, knowing that the things we do or words that we speak will bring the touch of his very presence—not only for his glory but for our joy.
The Contemplative Journey
My father has been dead for more than two decades, and yet as I’ve written this chapter I’ve felt almost as if he were here cheering me on, for he lived the contemplative journey in an authentic, gritty, down-to-earth way—and he loved every minute of it.
Two images come to mind when I think of my dad’s spirituality. The first one greeted me every morning throughout my teenage years as I stumbled out of bed: Dad sitting at the kitchen counter with his Bible open, deep in prayer as he ate his toast and honey and drank his steaming coffee. The second image is of him regularly reaching out to others—stopping the car to fix someone’s tire, dropping off a meal or clothes to some needy family, helping a neighbor build a fence, lending a listening ear to someone as he waited in line, or bringing a stranger home for dinner. The list could go on and on, and in fact, on the day before he died, Dad called Mom from the pay phone at the grocery store, asking for their ATM code so he could get some money for a man he’d just met. I learned what “paying it forward” really means from my dad, for inevitably after he’d touched another’s life in some way, he would say, “God has blessed us so much; we just want to bless others whenever we can.” This was no platitude for Dad: He lived it from the core of his being day in and day out.
This is the contemplative life. We pull away in solitude to let God’s love permeate our souls. Then as we go about our day, those experiences of love transform the world before our eyes, and we know why we are here. As a practice, this requires a focus and frame of mind so alien to life in the digital age that we may well find it the most difficult of all to embrace. As Nouwen notes, “To know God in the world requires knowing him by heart. To know God by heart is the purpose of a contemplative discipline. It is a very hard discipline.”[25] I want to add, however, that it could well be said that no other discipline nourishes our souls the way that contemplation can. My own experience reminds me that to be infused by a vision of God’s love that informs my way of being in this world is life on the highest plane, the smallest taste of a glory that will one day be my eternal reality.
PRACTICE
CONTEMPLATION IN SOLITUDE
ESTIMATED TIME: 30 MINUTES (MINIMUM)
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”
PSALM 27:8
SOME CONFUSION regarding contemplation comes from the fact that the conversation is often about two different things. One is the practice or discipline we engage in to open our hearts up to God, both in solitude and as we live in the world. The other is what we hope to experience when God sovereignly unveils his loving presence to us. Like two sides of a coin, it’s imp
ossible to parse out where our part ends and God’s begins. But here we will explore some contemplative practices that create space for God and thus increase our capacity for living contemplatively.
To prepare for this time, make sure you are away from all distractions. Put your devices in another room. Have only your Bible and a journal with you.
Rest
Begin this time either by using God-focused deep breathing (see chapter 4) or by breathing deeply for several minutes as you seek to bring your awareness to this moment and God’s presence with you.
Read the following verses slowly and softly once or twice as you seek to let go of distractions, slow down your mind, and enter into a place of rest:
O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
PSALM 131:1-2
For the next five or ten minutes, simply enjoy the reality that God is with you and that you don’t have to do anything but rest in his presence. If your mind wanders or you get distracted or feel like you should be “doing something,” gently bring your thoughts back to a place of rest without judgment or frustration, knowing that the most important thing you can “do” right now is to just “be” with God. (If you’ve never done this, you will likely find it very difficult, so be patient with yourself.)
Reflect
Read the following verses, hearing Jesus speaking them directly to you:
If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.
JOHN 14:23
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
HEBREWS 13:5
Reflect on the reality that God is not far off, that he dwells within you, and that he has made his home in your heart and has promised he will never leave. Envision this and acknowledge it as you place your hand over your heart. Then, for five or ten minutes, picture God’s love as a gentle rain softly settling on the soil of your soul. Offer a heart of gratitude and worship without words. Again, if your mind wanders or you get off track, gently return with something like this: “Thank you, Lord, that you are here with me, in me, loving me as I am.”
Resonance
Continuing in a quiet, receptive mode, take five or ten minutes to gently observe the things you have planned for today and the people you might encounter. (If you’re doing this at night, look toward tomorrow.) Picture the love that you have experienced here in these moments surrounding you, enveloping you wherever you go, and spilling over to those whose paths you cross. If you find yourself moving into a planning mode or getting distracted by details, simply step back in your mind and receive God’s love afresh. Here you simply want to imagine the coming hours as they can be, bathed in the wonder of God’s loving plans and purposes.
Journal
When you have finished, take time to journal about this encounter. Try not to evaluate or assess, but simply write down your feelings and experiences. End by writing a prayer of loving gratitude to the Lord. If you need help, you might begin with these:
Father, because of this time with you, I know _____________________________________________.
Lord, because of this time with you, I am ________________________________________________.
Jesus, in response to this time with you, I want to _____________________________________.
PRACTICE
CONTEMPLATION IN ACTION
ESTIMATED TIME: 18 MINUTES A DAY FOR 30 DAYS
As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.
1 TIMOTHY 6:17-19
THE PURPOSE OF THIS PRACTICE is to get a feel for what it is like to contemplate God’s loving purposes as you go through your day. It will involve time in the morning to open your heart to God and time in the evening to express gratitude for his faithfulness. In between, you will be checking in once per hour. You will need some sort of alarm to remind you at the beginning of each hour.
Morning Watch
If you already spend time with God in the mornings, take the final five minutes of that time for this part of the practice. If you do not have a morning devotional habit, you may want to take some time first just to connect with God and rest in his presence, quieting your heart.
Begin this five-minute session by thanking God for his love for you and offering him your own words of love. Try to let go of all other distractions. Then consider the day before you. What will you be doing? Whom will you be seeing? How will your hours be spent? As you consider these questions, ask God to give you his heart for all of it. Picture him walking with you, his presence there with you every moment. Offer yourself to him, telling him that you desire to commune with him throughout the day. Envision walking out into your day with God as your companion.
Checking In
Set your smartphone, watch, or computer to remind yourself to pause once per hour throughout the workday. When the reminder comes, take one minute to ask, “Lord, am I being the person you want me to be right now? Lord, is there any way you want me to show your love right now?”
Evening Watch
Take five minutes before bedtime to consider your contemplative journey with the following questions.
What difference do I think offering your day to God made?
How did checking in every hour change things?
How would I like to grow in this?
What do I understand more about God’s love for me and for others?
Offer a heart of gratitude for God’s presence and purpose and for his call for you to be a part of it.
Try to engage in this practice for thirty days in a row in order for it to become a habit and a natural way of life for you.
A FINAL WORD
TO SAY I’VE NEVER WRITTEN A BOOK like this before would be an understatement. Not only are the topics of brain science and technology well above my pay grade, but the world is changing so fast that I had to continually update as I wrote. (I’ve no doubt that some of the research I relied upon will be outdated even before the book is released.) Along the way, I often felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole—curious but completely unprepared for the wild ride, and wondering daily how I ended up here.
Yet undergirding each word there has been a purpose, a passion that fuels not just this book but also everything I have ever written or taught. Simply put, I yearn to see Christ followers fulfill their joyful destiny by walking in intimacy with him. Never have I felt this to be more at risk than today, as the digital revolution alters our very way of being in the world.
As one who is engaged with Christian leaders on a regular basis, it troubles me that it is rare to encounter those whose lives reflect the peaceful presence that comes from meaningful communion with Christ in times of solitude and across the byways of life. While people bemoan their busyness and lament the distractions that keep them from practices once considered indispensable for spiritual growth, few express alarm about it. Indeed, there seems to be an almost fatalistic assumption that we have no control over the feverish pace that drives our lives.
My prayer is that as you have read and begun to engage the practices in this book, you’ve gleaned new insights and experienced fresh hope for your own journey with Jesus. I hope these have spurred you to be more resolute about not surrendering control of your life to the demands of your digital devices or the exigencies of a tech-saturated culture.
Because Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever, be assured that he is commi
tted to helping you navigate your hyperconnected worlds so that you can experience life to its fullest measure. As you walk with him through the minefield of an ever-changing digital landscape, may you move a little slower, ponder a little longer, and connect a little deeper. May you be relentless about creating space—space to see Christ’s beauty and experience his love, and space for your light to shine brighter with his glory.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I AM SO GRATEFUL for the people God has put in my life to walk with me through the arduous writing process. My agent and friend, Steve Laube, expanded my vision for this book when it was only a seed germinating in my heart. He also coined the phrase “wired soul” in our very first conversation, because he really did get it. I have been so blessed by his insights and support for over two decades.
It has been a delight to work with NavPress on this project. Thanks to publisher Don Pape and the Tyndale alliance for seeing the potential and taking the risk. Jen and Dean did a great job capturing the nuances of a complex topic for the cover. Most of all, my gratitude goes to David Zimmerman, an astute editor whose careful attention has made the book so much better. I would never want to write without the backup of an editor like David.
Many friends and family have stood by me, eagerly cheering me on this past year. New Hope Church’s continual encouragement has sustained me more than they will ever know. Of course, the one person I could not have done without is my husband of forty-two years, Joe Rhodes. He has been my chief theologian, my first-read editor, and an incredible sounding board and cheerleader. I cannot say enough.
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