by Mike Faricy
“I didn’t say halfway house, I said safe house. A place where they come and go, use it for a job and then walk away. She might think the guy actually lives there, but he’s already long gone. I can’t believe he came back and cleaned up the mess you left. My guess is he hasn’t contacted her, and this is the only place she can think of. We’re in for a very long, very dull night.”
“She’ll sit there and get all worked up, until she can’t even think straight. Then, she’s gonna storm into that place and ream the guy out. Believe me, she’s thinking about the same one or two things, over and over again, working herself up into a crazy state. If he’s in there, I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard. There won’t be much left for us. If he’s not there, she’ll head to wherever she thinks she might find him. Believe me, I was on the receiving end of this enough times with her mother.”
“The one difference is her mother used to choke down about a pound of chocolate, and drink a gallon of malted milk shakes. After she reamed me out I had to suffer through a month of her dieting to lose ten pounds. No thanks, I’ll just watch from a distance for a while. Sooner or later, she’ll go in, and we can follow. Believe me, there’ll be enough fireworks no one will hear us coming.”
“Well, since you know all about it you can wake me when the fireworks start,” Buster said. He slouched down in his seat and closed his eyes for some much needed sleep. As he drifted off he reminded himself to never, ever get involved with Huey again.
Chapter 88
Mickey woke to the smell of bacon frying. The sun was just coming up. He stumbled off the couch and into the kitchen to get a mug of coffee. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah, I suppose,” Dell said.
After breakfast, they both went downstairs and attempted to wake Bunny. Dell was in the room wearing the Lassie mask. He was shaking Bunny who had just crawled under the covers down to the foot of the bed where she had begun to growl. He held a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water in the hope they could get her to a point where she could be moved.
Mickey stood in the doorway, really hoping he wouldn’t have to get involved, although it was beginning to look like that was exactly what he was going to have to do.
“Come on, Bunny, how about some aspirin and a nice pitcher of manhattans once we get you going this morning?” Dell said. After a few more minutes with no result he reached beneath the blanket, grabbed what he hoped were her ankles and pulled her out from under the covers.
She squirmed for a moment but didn’t put up much of a struggle. Her eyes gradually opened, and she appeared almost cognizant. He quickly taped her ankles, and she presented her wrists which he bound, then pulled a pillowcase over her head.
“Once we get in the car you can go right back to sleep, Bunny.” Mickey said from the doorway. “We’ll have you back with that shyster lawyer husband before noon. We won’t hurt you. Believe me, we don’t even want to touch you, so thanks for cooperating.”
Before he knew what to do she had reached up, pulled the pillowcase off her head and faced him. “Shyster lawyer husband? Are you kidding me? Jack’s a lot of things, but he’s not a damn lawyer. Good lord, he’s a real estate developer.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, I knew him years ago, before he was disbarred,” Mickey said, holding his hands in front of his face.
“Disbarred?” Bunny said, shaking her head. “Jack’s never practiced law in his life. Believe me, you can accuse him of a lot of things, but being a lawyer isn’t one of them. A lawyer? Jack Kelley? Now, that’s really funny.”
“Are you telling me your husband isn’t a balding, pudgy guy about this high?” Mickey said and held his hand up at about chin level.
Bunny shook her head no.
“And that he wasn’t disbarred eight, maybe ten years ago? For trust fund abuse? Hell, Bunny, it was in all the papers, I read the article online recently. That’s probably how the two of you got that cabin up north, stealing dough from some poor old ladies’ pension fund.”
“Mister, you’re crazy. First of all, the Jack Kelley I’ve been married to for thirty-seven and a half years is six feet two inches tall. He has a full head of hair, although it’s salt and pepper now. He’s never been a lawyer, never been disbarred, never been in charge of a trust fund. We’ve never had a cabin up north, although we do have a condo down in Naples.”
“You’re sure he’s not a lawyer?”
Bunny shook her head and cackled. “I think you two morons made a very big mistake. And when you see who you’re dealing with, you’re going to be very unhappy. Oh, Jesus, this is just too funny for words.”
Mickey stood there with a stunned look on his face as Dell shifted into panic mode. “Mick?”
“Shh-hhh, I’m thinking.”
“Listen boys, having the wrong Jack Kelley is the least of your problems. My husband Jack is a lot of things, including a complete bastard. But he’s not the kind to take this sort of thing lightly, and he certainly would have gotten some expert help, if you catch my drift.”
“Why do you think I drink? You think I like what I’ve become? It might look like the good life, but Jack will run over anyone for a nickel. And you were planning to just take money from him? Just like that? Sorry, boys.”
“You sure he wasn’t . . .”
“Why would I lie about that? No, Jack was never a lawyer, never disbarred, he’s tall and all the other stuff I said. Sounds to me like you two screwed with the wrong Jack Kelley.”
“Is your given name Petronella?” Mickey said, grasping at straws.
“Petronella? Damn, I wish. Good Lord, no, it’s Chasity. Believe me, if I could have traded that for Chasity as a teenager, I would have jumped at the chance.”
Dell shuffled out of the room, shaking his head as he pulled off the Lassie mask.
“Hey, Dell, hold up. Umm-mmm, be back in a minute, Bunny,” Mickey called over his shoulder as he hurried after Dell.
“Great plan, Mick. You’re so in touch with this one you grabbed the wrong wife from the wrong guy. Terrific. I just knew this was screwed up. And, once again, I’ve got no one to blame but myself.”
“Knock it off, Dell. I knew this all along.”
“Bullshit, Mick, you just—”
“Shut up and listen, Dell. This doesn’t change a thing, in fact it’s better, breaks the pattern we were in. Yeah, my thinking on this was definitely screwed up. That’s why I wanted to involve someone that we conceivably have no earthly connection to. All these jerks, Huey, Coach Buddy, even that legislator, they all had a tie to us. But this one, our last score, we’ll just pull it off and walk away with the cash. Just the way we planned.”
“Just the way we . . . Come on, Mick. For Christ’s sake, you didn’t know about this. You didn’t have the slightest idea this had happened. Hell, you were just in there arguing with Bunny, trying to convince her she was someone else. Arguing that the great Mickey Donnelly couldn’t possibly be guilty of a screw up of this magnitude. Damn it, Mick.”
“Well, Dell, I don’t know what else to tell you. We can drop her off somewhere, just head out of town, hope no one comes looking for us. Live frugally, count our pennies for the rest of our lives, eat macaroni and cheese every night. Or, maybe we can pull it off one more time, live like the free spirits we should be. Not a care in the world, drink from a crystal glass, live life to the fullest, talking the—”
“Okay, Mick, okay. I get it. Yeah, let’s do it, we’ll do all that shit. Sure, but just for once, be honest with me. I figure after all these years of being your wing man I’ve earned it.”
“Are you telling me you think I’m . . .” Mickey stopped and looked at Dell. “Yeah, okay. You’ve more than earned it, so here it is. I don’t have much of a plan, other than making this guy drive all over town. Eventually, with a little luck I’ll get him to leave that box of cash somewhere that I think feels safe enough to let me grab it without getting caught. It’s what’s worked for me, for us, in the past.”
Dell gave a long sigh.
“Simple? Mick, it sounds idiotic. Here, you wear this damn mask and get Bunny into the car. Then we’ll figure something out.”
Chapter 89
Janice woke with an aching back and leg cramps from a fitful few hours waiting in her car for Mickey to come home. She was still mad, but her rage was tempered by exhaustion, not to mention a slightly desperate need to use a bathroom. She decided to ring the doorbell in the off chance his car was in the shop, or at the very least, to eliminate the opportunity of him insisting he had been home and didn’t know she was parked out front.
Before she was even on the front porch, she noticed the door was ajar. She entered, quickly climbed the stairs only to find his apartment wide open and to put it mildly, completely trashed. She could only hope there was still toilet paper.
Buster and Huey had been sleeping in shifts. Just now Buster was watching Janice as she climbed out of her car, up to the front porch and in the front door. He figured he’d give her five minutes before he woke Huey. She was back out the door in little more than three, looking frantic and hurrying to her car. Huey woke just as Buster started the car and made a U-turn in the middle of the road, following her at a distance.
“They together?” Huey asked rubbing his eyes.
“No.”
“You got any coffee? God, I feel like a piece of plumbing, all bent up.”
“What do you think this is, a diner? No, Huey, I don’t have any coffee.”
“Whoa, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Where’s she going anyway?”
“I don’t have any idea where in the hell she’s going, Huey. That’s why I thought we might want to follow her.”
They followed Janice all the way out to Dell’s. Watched at a distance as she pounded on the front door then entered the house by way of a tuck under garage. She ran out a minute later, jumped back in her car and raced back toward town.
“God, this is crazy. I don’t know who or what she’s looking for, but my guess is she hasn’t found it yet,” Buster said.
“Way to get a handle on the obvious. She’s so much like her mother it’s actually frightening. Going around half-cocked, not knowing who or what she’s looking for. This has been a complete waste of my time,” Huey said.
“Yeah? Well, just for the record, I warned you. I told you not to come. But you were the one who insisted. You were the one who argued with me. Told me—”
“Whatever. Jesus Christ, I thought for sure she was going to lead us to wherever this guy was. Just like her mother, even that gets screwed up.”
“I’m guessing right now she has no idea what to do. Probably feels about as ripped off as we do,” Buster said.
“That does nothing in the way of bringing me any damn comfort. It was my money, she’s the ticket and I want it back.”
Buster thought all he wanted right now was a hot shower and some sleep. God strike him dead, if he got involved with Huey ever again.
Chapter 90
“Don’t worry, there’s a payphone you can use about two blocks from the site.” Dell said. “We’ll be able to see them coming in any direction. We’ll take Bunny up a few floors, have them send the dough up in the elevator. We grab the dough and send Bunny down. There’s four different ways off every floor and out of the building. Even if this guy does have help, he’ll never be able to catch us.”
Mickey glanced into the back seat where Bunny was softly snoring. “Great plan except for one thing, aren’t we going to attract attention bringing her up to the top floor?”
Dell had a slight grin on his face. “Oh, did I forget to mention, the entire construction site is shut down? No crews are there for another week. We’ll have the place to ourselves. Of course, it’s all locked up, but then again, I’ve got the keys so that won’t really be a problem for us.” He fumbled in his pocket then dangled shiny keys for Mickey to see.
* * *
As far as Jack Kelley could tell his two guests never left the chairs they were sitting in, never even slept. He felt bad about Bunny, but she would have to go. He couldn’t risk having her around, causing more problems. He was just about to ask his guests if they’d like more coffee when his phone rang. He answered halfway through the initial ring.
“Yes.”
“Kelley,” Mickey whispered. “You’ve got the money? A hundred grand?”
“Oh, brother,” Bunny said from the back seat.
“I want you to head downtown. Corner of Sixth and Saint Peter there’s a construction site. Place the funds in the construction elevator in the lobby and send them up to the top floor. We’ve got a number of us posted around the building so, please, don’t waste our time trying to pull a fast one. It won’t work. I expect to see you within the hour.”
Mickey hung up the payphone and said, “Okay, let’s get over there. I just hope you know what you’re doing, Dell. We got everything riding on this, last thing we need is a surprise.”
Mickey waited for the traffic to clear so he could complete his illegal left-hand turn. Eventually, he just accelerated, ignoring the horn blast from the UPS truck and jumped across the oncoming traffic.
“You got a death wish this morning?”
Mickey shrugged and drove through the empty ramp to the far side. Dell directed him to a secluded parking spot just off the back alley, in the event they needed to make a fast get away.
Mickey was climbing up the stairwell, heading toward the fourteenth floor with quite a few floors to go. He had just paused to catch his breath when Dell popped his head out from the door on the ninth floor.
“Mick, hey . . . Mick,” he whispered.
“God, Dell, you just about gave me a heart attack. What the hell are you doing, and where is Bunny?”
“Part of the beauty of this place, come on up, I’ll show you,” Dell said and ducked back into the hallway.
Mickey quickly huffed up the remaining flights and followed Dell, or at least where he thought Dell had gone. He stood and looked out on a vast empty room, virtually the entire floor.
“Dell, damn it, this isn’t the time to be screwing around. Where in the hell are you?”
“Hey, Mick,” Dell called from behind, causing Micky to jump.
“Jesus Christ, are you—”
“Isn’t it great? A little break room we had set up here. You can nap or whatever, and the foreman will never find you. Looks like the entire floor is completely empty. We can grab the cash, send Bunny down and just wait Kelley out if we have to. He’ll never find us if we duck in here.”
Mickey poked his head in the small room. Bunny was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and the pillow case still over her head. “Dell, I gotta say, this is genius, pure genius. We better keep an eye peeled for Kelley, he should be here in the next thirty minutes.”
Chapter 91
“If I ever get my hands on Mickey, I’ll strangle him,” Janice sniffled. “That complete jerk, that crumb, that bum, that total, absolute loser, that moron. Here I am driving around downtown, in the middle of the morning wearing a pink nightgown and fuzzy slippers. I’ll kill him for doing this to me. I swear to God.”
It was then that she thought she recognized the El Dorado making an illegal left-hand turn. It was the horn blast from a UPS truck that initially caught her attention. The silhouette of ‘Mickey’s big fat head’ and his banged up, dented car set her temper off again.
“Now, where in the hell is she going?” Buster asked, just wanting the whole awful experience to be over.
“Who the hell knows? I need some coffee and get me back to my office, I’m ready to go home. She’s crazier than her mother ever was.”
“No, wait a minute, either she spotted us, which I doubt, or she’s on to something.” She hasn’t picked up on us for the past seven hours, I don’t know why she would now.”
“Look, I’m telling you she’s nuts, just like her mother. So, get me back to my office.”
“Huey, you wanted to come along, have all the fun. Well, this is
how it’s done.”
* * *
Buster was standing in the lower parking level, next to Janice’s burgundy olds 88, scanning the vast, empty parking area. He was tired and kept his voice low as he stated the obvious.
“Well, this is her car, but your guess is as good as mine as to where the hell she went. She can’t be more than a minute or two ahead of us. I don’t know, dressed the way she is, maybe you’re right, the whole thing is crazy.”
Huey pulled his shotgun out of the back seat, then slammed the car door.
“Keep it down, damn it, she’s liable to hear us,” Buster said.
“Ahh, bullshit. I tell you what, Buster. You’ve been pussy-footing around all night. Waiting, following, waiting, following. The only thing I got out of this is an aching back. I used to think you were pretty sharp, but you’re an idiot. So, just get the hell out of here. Knowing Janice, she’s probably in the bathroom for Christ’s sake. I’m through fooling around. I’m gonna do what I should have done in the beginning, only do it my way and get the information I need to get my money back.”
Buster looked at Huey across the roof of his car. The tirades, the complaining, the bitching, he had half a mind to leave Huey here and let him think about how he planned to get home carrying a shotgun.
“Go on, damn it, get the hell out of here,” Huey shouted, then leveled the shotgun in Buster’s general direction.
“You know,” Buster said, then thought better of giving Huey any cautionary warning. “Okay, Huey, have it your way. You know how to reach me once you decide to calm down.”
“Just get the hell out of here,” Huey said, as Buster climbed back into the car. “And you can forget about getting paid for any of this, you hear, forget about it,” he screamed as Buster’s car retreated up the ramp.
