Why Did You Hurt Me?

Home > Other > Why Did You Hurt Me? > Page 9
Why Did You Hurt Me? Page 9

by Phylicia Joannis

CHAPTER NINE:

  The Heart of the Matter

  As he walks into the youth room, Martin prays for the answers he needs. He hopes to catch Mr. James alone before the service begins, but one of the youth tell him that Mr. James is in a meeting with the assistant pastor.

  Martin sits down in a chair close to the front and flips through his bible. He has no idea what Mr. James is going to talk about, but he hopes that whatever it is will shake Jennifer out of the stupor she’s in. Perhaps, after hearing the message tonight, Jennifer will come to her senses and realize that she should stay as far away from Johnny as possible.

  The door to the youth room creaks open and Martin turns around to see who it is. He nearly swallows his tongue when he sees Jennifer walk in with Johnny Reese. Martin can’t help the scowl on his face, but straightens as he sees the youth room fill with more teens.

  He and Jennifer need to talk, whether Johnny is present or not. Martin decides to stand up and go over to her, but Mr. James chooses that moment to enter the room, instructing everyone to stand and bow their heads as he opens up in prayer.

  Martin’s heart sinks as he reluctantly stands. He really hopes Mr. James has a good message prepared. He tries to clear his mind and his heart as Mr. James prays.

  “Father,” Pastor James begins, “we come to you now in prayer, asking for your protection over us during this service. I pray the seeds planted tonight fall on good ground and bear fruit in our lives. Give us understanding hearts as we study your word. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.”

  Amens resound throughout the room as several teens take their seats. Many wait with quiet eagerness as Pastor James begins the lesson. Pastor James clears his throat and begins.

  “The thoughts I cultivate and nurture in my heart will one day bear fruit. Their harvest will engulf my life and become my reality.” Some of the youth give him blank stares. Others pull out their note pads and bibles and begin writing furiously.

  “Tonight we’re going to talk about the heart,” he continues. “We’re going to go through a lot of scripture, so I want you to stay with me. Take as many notes as you can, and study them when you get home. If my lesson tonight reminds you of school, it’s because I’m trying to teach you something that will change the way you think. Let’s begin with a story. Proverbs 23:1-7 gives us an example of a man who says one thing with his mouth, but his heart is saying something else. Imagine inviting your buddy over to eat. You can tell that he’s come with an appetite, which is cool, because you’ve already ordered a few pizzas. So when the pizza gets there, you tell him to help himself. After about eight slices of pizza, you realize that he’s eaten about twice as much as you have and is showing no signs of stopping. So, you get angry with your friend. He’s making an absolute pig of himself and doesn’t even care that he’s eaten most of your pizza.”

  A few teens snicker and nudge their neighbors at this statement.

  Pastor James continues. “After his twelfth slice, your friend stops and says, ‘hey, you mind me eating this last slice?’ and instead of telling him no, that you want the last piece, you say ‘Oh, no! Go on man! Please, help yourself.’ On the outside, you’re calm and generous, but on the inside, you hope he pukes his guts out.”

  There is a loud round of commentary at the end of this statement. Pastor James finishes his story. “The seventh verse in that chapter says ‘For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.’”

  Pastor James scans the room. “That’s how all of us function. We can all laugh at that story, because it’s true. What we say doesn’t always reflect what we really think or believe. We can lie, we can be hypocritical, we can pretend. It’s the condition of our heart that determines who and what we are.”

  Martin glances briefly across the room at Jennifer before looking back at Pastor James.

  “It’s also the condition of our heart that determines our reality. Consequences are the harvest. Our thoughts are the seeds, be they good or bad. Let me give you some more examples. Turn in your bibles to Genesis six.”

  Pastor James pauses as several bible pages flip.

  “Start at verse five and read through verse seven, and then skip down to verses twelve and thirteen please,” he scans the room, “...Jennifer.”

  Jennifer stands up as she reads.

  “‘Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. So the Lord said, “I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.’ Verse 12 and 13?”

  Jennifer looks at Pastor James, and he nods. “‘So God looked upon the earth, and indeed it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth. And God said to Noah, ‘The end of all flesh has come before Me, for the earth is filled with violence through them; and behold, I will destroy them with the earth.’”

  “Thank you Jennifer,” Pastor James looks up from his bible. “Here is an example of how the corrupted hearts of man caused everything around them to become corrupt as well. Let’s look at another story. Martin can you read 1 Kings 15 verses one through six?” Martin nods and turns the pages. As soon as he gets to the verses, he begins to read.

  “‘In the eighteenth year of King Jeroboam the son of Nebat, Abijam became king over Judah. He reigned three years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Maachah the granddaughter of Abishalom. And he walked in all the sins of his father, which he had done before him; his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David. Nevertheless for David’s sake the Lord his God gave him a lamp in Jerusalem, by setting up his son after him and by establishing Jerusalem; because David did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, and had not turned aside from anything that He commanded him all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite. And there was war between Rehoboam and Jeroboam all the days of his life.’”

  Pastor James nods in thanks and Martin looks again at Jennifer before taking his seat.

  “We have here another example of the heart of an individual affecting his world. During the time of Abijam, there was a feud between the northern tribes of Israel and the southern tribes of Judah and Benjamin. The split occurred before Abijam became king, but because Abijam didn’t deal with his heart towards the Lord, his reign never experienced days of peace. In fact, there was war all the days of his life.”

  Pastor James looks at his notes again. “Let’s look at one more story before we move on. This is the story of the downfall of King Saul, and it’s found in 1 Samuel 15. I’m going to read, starting at verse one, and you can catch up to me as you turn.

  “‘Samuel also said to Saul, ‘The Lord sent me to anoint you king over His people, over Israel. Now therefore, heed the voice of the words of the Lord. Thus says the Lord of hosts: ‘I will punish Amalek for what he did to Israel, how he ambushed him on the way when he came up from Egypt. Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them. But kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey. ’So Saul gathered the people together and numbered them in Telaim, two hundred thousand foot soldiers and ten thousand men of Judah. And Saul came to a city of Amalek, and lay in wait in the valley.

  “’Then Saul said to the Kenites, “Go, depart, get down from among the Amalekites, lest I destroy you with them. For you showed kindness to all the children of Israel when they came up out of Egypt.” So the Kenites departed from among the Amalekites. And Saul attacked the Amalekites, from Havilah all the way to Shur, which is east of Egypt. He also took Agag king of the Amalekites alive, and utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword. But Saul and the people spared Agag and the best of the sheep, the oxen, the fatlings, the lambs, and all that was good, and were unwilling to utterly destroy them
. But everything despised and worthless, that they utterly destroyed.’”

  Pastor James looks up from his bible. “Here you see that Saul was given a command from God through the prophet Samuel to utterly destroy the Amalekites. Not only does he spare the king, he spares everything that looks good. Saul disobeyed the command of the Lord. Look down from verse 22 to verse 24, and see what his reason was. It reads ‘So Samuel said: ‘Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He also has rejected you from being king.’ Then Saul said to Samuel, ‘I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.’”

  Pastor James pauses before speaking again. “Saul had fear in his heart, not for the Lord, but for men. He knew what God told him to do, but he allowed his fear to affect his thoughts, which affected his actions, which caused him to sin and lose his position as king over Israel. Saul begged Samuel in the next verse for forgiveness, but Samuel told him the same thing he told him in verse 23. Go in your bibles now to Psalm 66:18.”

  Pastor James allows them to get there before beginning. “It says, ‘If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.’ If we allow ungodly thoughts to remain in our hearts, if we cultivate them and rearrange our environment so that they can grow, when the harvest comes and those seeds bear fruit, God will not hear you. God will not be moved by your tears, your pain, or even your intentions. God will not get rid of the fruit if you’re not willing to uproot the seeds. I’m going to give you several more scriptures now dealing with the heart. Here are some things you need to know about your heart. One of the most powerful tools you have in your walk with Christ is your heart. It’s literally a storage place for words.

  “David says in Psalm 119:11 ‘Your word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.’ You can put the word of God into your heart and it will actually safeguard you from sin. Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard our hearts, because just as the heart can be used to store the word and save your life, the wrong information can be stored in your heart and destroy you. If you haven’t been guarding your heart, you can’t trust it.

  “Turn with me to Jeremiah 17:9. It says ‘The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?’ The world tells us to follow our hearts, but the word of God instructs us not to follow our hearts. Instead, we’re told in Galatians 5:16 to walk in the Spirit.

  “After reading all these examples, it’s tempting to make promises to God and tell him you’ll change your heart. But your responsibility is actually to seek God, and allow Him to change your heart. Jeremiah 24:6-7, Jeremiah 31:33-34, and Ezekiel 11:19-21 each describe how God promised his people that He would give them a new heart to replace their corrupt hearts. In Psalm 51:10, David asks ‘Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.’”

  Pastor James flips through his bible. “I’m going to give you a few more verses to better understand the heart and the role it plays in your life. Your heart is an important part of every decision you make. It affects the way you talk, according to Matthew 12:34. It’s the key to what you treasure or value. Luke 6:45 and Matthew 12:34 state that ‘a good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; likewise an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil.’ Remember that your heart is a storage place for words, and when the bible speaks of the treasure of the heart, it’s talking about the words, thoughts, and ideas stored in your heart, whether they’re good or evil. Matthew 6:21 says where your treasure is, your heart will be as well. When God requests your devotion, he wants all of you, including your heart. Mark 12:30 says to love the Lord with all your heart. According to 2 Corinthians 9:7, when you give an offering to the Lord, He wants your heart involved.”

  Pastor James clears his throat and takes a sip of water. “I have a few more points before I’ll be finished, and I want you to make sure you write down these verses if you’re taking notes. The heart is a storage place for words, worries and anxieties, your beliefs, your convictions, and your desires. Psalm 37:4 says to delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart, illustrating to us that desires are stored in our heart. In John 14:1 Jesus tells his disciples not to let their hearts be troubled, because He is with them, showing us that our hearts can be disturbed, full of worry and anxiety. There’s also Acts 2:37 and Romans 10:10, which deal with conviction and belief.

  “The most important point I want to make tonight is that Jesus Christ wants your heart. Ephesians 3:14-19 describes how Christ wants to dwell in your heart. Philippians 4:6-7 shows how Christ wants to keep and guard your heart with peace. God searches your heart according to Romans 8:27 and He also directs your heart. 2 Thessalonians 3:5 says ‘And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ.’”

  Pastor James sets his bible on the podium and looks out at the group. “God knows your heart, and He knows it well. I’m going to read one more scripture for you in closing tonight. It’s Jeremiah 17:5-11. Listen carefully. ‘Thus says the Lord: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings. As a partridge that broods but does not hatch, so is he who gets riches, but not by right; it will leave him in the midst of his days, and at his end he will be a fool.’”

  Pastor James closes out the lesson with a final exhortation.

  “When you trust in man, you’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. But when you trust in the Lord, you know that adversity cannot destroy you; it can only make you hold tighter to the Rock of your foundation, and He will sustain and protect you. Let’s pray.”

  •••

  After service, Martin decides to talk to Jennifer. He’s been stealing glances of her and Johnny all night, and he’s ready to speak his mind. Max’s absence barely registers as Martin focuses on Jennifer. She’s standing by the bathroom waiting for Johnny. Martin walks over briskly, stopping just a few inches behind her, and immediately begins his tirade.

  “What do you think you’re doing, Jen?” Martin asks gruffly.

  Jennifer looks at him with one eyebrow raised. “I’m standing. Is that against the law?”

  Martin ignores her comment and continues. “You know what I’m talking about,” he looks at her accusingly. When Jennifer doesn’t respond he grabs her wrist and pulls her to the side.

  “I’m talking about you bringing him here.” Martin’s face twists into a snarl as he tilts his head toward the stalls.

  “Him as in who? Johnny?” Jennifer pulls her hand away from Martin and puts it on her hip. “What’s wrong with me bringing Johnny here?”

  “You know what’s wrong with bringing him here, Jen,” Martin hisses. “He’s up to no good.”

  “And how would you know?” Jennifer scoffs.

  “Because he’s trash, Jennifer. You shouldn’t hang around him.”

  “I happen to like hanging around him,” Jennifer’s voice betrays her anger. “And what right do you have to call him trash?”

  “Come on, Jen. For start
ers, he lives in Mogis Hills.”

  “So does Max,” Jennifer retorts. “Not too long ago you accused me of being a bigot, and now you’re telling me Johnny’s trash? Don’t you find that a little bit hypocritical?”

  “This is different, Jen,” Martin protests. He pauses briefly, choosing his words carefully. “It’s just not right to me. I can tell that there’s something going on with him, and I don’t think he has your best interests in mind.”

  “My interests are no longer any of your business, Martin,” Jennifer states crisply. Martin gives her a pained expression and Jennifer feels a twinge of guilt.

  “Martin,” she softens her voice. “Even if something is going on with Johnny, isn’t church one of the best places to bring him?”

  “Not this one,” Martin folds his arms in discontent. “How do you know he’s not just setting you up so he can take advantage of you?”

  “Johnny’s a nice guy. Besides, he needs Jesus just like everyone else.” Jennifer tries to walk away, but Martin grabs her arm and turns her around.

  “You’re unequally yoked. You can’t bring him to church and pretend he’s a Christian just because you want to date him.”

  Jennifer wrenches her arm free from Martin’s hand. She feels like slapping him. She almost does. Instead, she bites her lip again and lowers her voice to a near whisper.

  “Martin, if I’ve learned anything this year it’s this: Everyone needs Jesus, especially those who think they already have him. You have no idea what kind of person Johnny really is, so don’t you dare stand here judging him when you don’t know the first thing about him!”

  “He’s garbage, Jennifer,” Martin scowls. Jennifer’s hand reaches Martin’s face before she can stop it. Her fingers sting, and they leave a red mark on Martin’s right cheek. Martin’s jaw flexes and his eyes widen in shock. Johnny leaves the bathroom and he and Jennifer make their way out of the youth room. Jennifer gives Martin a teary-eyed look before they leave.

  Martin feels heat crawl up the back of his neck and grabs his jaw where she’d hit him. Someone had to have heard it. Martin knows he deserved it. Martin doesn’t know where all his animosity is coming from, but he knows he was out of line. Even if Johnny is up to something, he’s still a person with a soul. He’s just as valuable as Max in God’s eyes. Martin looks around. Where is Max?

 

‹ Prev