Venetia

by Georgette Heyer

  Nidd thought it was a queer set-out, but when he said as much to Marston he won no other response than a blank stare. But Marston thought it queer too, because it wasn’t like his lordship to throw out lures to innocent young ladies, much less sit in their pockets. He was loose in the haft, but not as loose as that. Or maybe he was too fly to the time of day to meddle with virgins of quality: Marston did not know, but he did know that in all the years he had served his lordship he had never seen him dangling after such a lady as Miss Lanyon. He had never seen him behave to any of his loves as he was behaving to her, either; or known him to stay so quiet and sober. He had not been as much as half-sprung since the day he carried Mr Aubrey into the house, and that was a sure sign that he wasn’t bored, or in one of his black moods. He wasn’t even restless, yet he hadn’t meant to remain at the Priory above a day or two. They had been on their way to Lord Flavell’s shooting-lodge, but they were not going there after all: he had told Marston that he had written to cry off. Were they going back to London, then, when Mr Aubrey had left the Priory? His lordship had made no plans, but thought he should remain in Yorkshire for a while.

  It might be that he was amusing himself with a new kind of flirtation, but in any other man it would have looked remarkably like courtship. If that was it, Marston wondered whether Miss Lanyon knew what sort of a life his lordship had led, and what that elder brother of hers would have to say to such a match.

  He would have been shocked had he guessed how much Venetia knew, and how much she was entertained by some of Damerel’s more repeatable adventures; and he would have been considerably astonished had he known on what terms of easy camaraderie this very odd couple stood.

  They were fast friends: a stranger might have supposed them to be related, so frank and unceremonious were their interchanges, and so far removed from mere dalliance. Accepting, as a matter of tactics in the game few knew better than he how to play, the rôle of fidus Achates thrust upon him, Damerel soon found himself advising Venetia on knotty problems arising out of her stewardship of her elder brother’s estates, or discussing with her the peculiar difficulties presented by her younger brother’s apparent determination to allow his powerful mind to wear out his frail constitution. He gave her better advice than he had ever put into practice, but told her bluntly that there was little she could do to divert Aubrey from his devouring passion. ‘He has been too much alone. If it had been possible to have sent him to Eton he would no doubt have formed friendships there, but as it is he seems to have only two friends: yourself, and his old grinder – this parson he talks about: I forget his name. What he needs is to rub shoulders with sprigs of his own age and tastes – and to overcome his dread of being pitied or despised.’

  She gave him a speaking glance. ‘Do you know, you are the first person ever to have perceived that he hates his lameness in that way! Even Dr Bentworth doesn’t properly understand, and I can only guess, because he doesn’t speak of it. But he has talked to you, hasn’t he? He told me the thing you said to him – that if you were offered the choice between a splendid body or a splendid mind you would choose the mind, because it would long outlast the body. I know he was a good deal struck, for he would not else have told me about it, and I was so grateful I could have embraced you!’

  ‘By all means!’ he said promptly. ‘Do!’

  She laughed, but shook her head. ‘No, I’m not funning. You see, it was exactly the right thing to have said, and that he talked to you at all about it showed me how much he likes you. In general, you know, he is very stiff with strangers, and when people like Lady Denny enquire after his health, or Edward helps him to get up out of his chair, he becomes quite rigid with fury.’

  ‘I should imagine he might! Is that what that gudgeon does?’

  ‘Yes, and say what I will to him he persists! It is all kindness, I know, but –’

  ‘Much that graceless scamp cares for kindness!’

  ‘That’s what I told Edward, but he thought it nonsensical. And your sort of kindness he does care for: I don’t mean entering into what interests him only, but roasting him, and calling him rude names, and threatening to do the most brutal things to him if he won’t swallow that horrid valerian!’

  ‘Is that your notion of kindness?’ he asked, in some amusement.

  ‘Yes, and yours too, or you wouldn’t do it. I expect it makes Aubrey feel that he is just the same as any other boy – or, at any rate, that you don’t care a rush for his lame leg. It has done him a great deal of good to be with you – more good than I could ever do him, because I’m only a female. A sister, too, which makes it even harder.’

  ‘You are a good sister. I hope you may have your reward – but strongly doubt it. Don’t let him hurt you! He’s fond of you, but he’s an egotist, my dear.’

  ‘Oh, I know that!’ she said cheerfully. ‘But he’s not as bad as Papa was, I assure you, or Conway! Aubrey would very likely put himself out to oblige me, if he ever thought of it, but Papa would not, and as for Conway, I don’t think he can think of anyone but himself!’

  It was such remarks as this, delivered perfectly seriously, that kept him in a state of chuckling enjoyment, and made him call her his dear delight. She accepted the title with equanimity, but told him to take care not to say it within tongue-shot of Nurse. ‘For it would be very mortifying for you to see your cajolery wasted, besides destroying all our comfort.’

  ‘I’ll lay you odds she wouldn’t come the ugly. She believes me to be in a state of grace.’

  ‘No, only approaching it – and that was merely because you supported her against Imber! You may not know it, but you suffered a set-back yesterday, when you wouldn’t permit her to have the carpet in the library taken up to be beaten. She began to say things about the ungodly again, and Aubrey swears she told him that one sinner destroys much good.’

  ‘Since then, however, I have expressed my admiration of her tatting, and my credit is now high with her!’ he retorted.

  ‘I wish it might be high enough for her to give it to you! There must be miles of it, for she has been tatting ever since I can remember, and very rarely gives any of it away. The dreadful thing is that she means it for whichever of us is the first to be married. The most lowering reflection!’

  ‘Perhaps,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘I had better not make my credit too high! What do you advise? Shall I hold an orgy, ill-use Aubrey, or – just call you my dear delight within her hearing?’

  ‘That would lower your credit too much. Tell her that when you gave her to understand that you came into Yorkshire to redress your tenants’ grievances – which I am very sure you did, for who else would have put such a preposterous notion into her head? – it was nothing but a fudge! Perhaps you had better not tell her, however, that you came because of that thing at Tattersall’s, for she thinks racing very ungodly!’

  ‘What thing at Tattersall’s?’ he demanded. ‘I haven’t yet been floored by the hammer, if that’s what you mean!’

  ‘No, no! At least, I don’t know what it signifies, but it wasn’t that! Conway spoke of it once – oh, Black Monday!’

  ‘Settling-day! No, I won’t tell her that. I am always more or less in Dun territory, but this visit of mine isn’t an attempt to shoot the crow! I am escaping from my aunts.’

  ‘Why, what are they doing to you? Are you roasting me?’

  ‘Not at all. They are bent on re-establishing me. There are three of ’em, and they are all antidotes. Two are unmarried, and live together – one’s fubsy-faced, and t’other’s a squeeze-crab; and the eldest is a widow, and the most intimidating female you ever beheld. She lives in a mausoleum in Grosvenor Square, rarely stirs out of it, but holds receptions, very like the Queen’s Drawing-Rooms. She’s clutch-fisted, dressed like a quiz, has neither wit nor amiability, and yet by means unknown to me – unless it be by force of character, and I’ll allow she has that! – has persuaded the ton that she is a second
Lady Cork, to whose salons it is an honour to be invited.’

  ‘She sounds very disagreeable!’

  ‘She is very disagreeable. A veritable dragon!’

  ‘But why does she wish to re-establish you?’

  ‘Oh, for two reasons! The first is that however black my sins may be I’m the head of the family, a circumstance by which she sets great store; and the second is that having issued a royal command to my cousin Alfred, who is also my heir, to present himself in Grosvenor Square for inspection, she made the shocking discovery that he was a member of the dandy-set – indeed, the pinkest of Pinks, a swell of the first stare! Not having the least guess that the old lady holds every Bond Street beau in the utmost abhorrence, the silly pigeon rigged himself out as fine as fivepence, and trotted round to Grosvenor Square looking precise to a pin: Inexpressibles of the most delicate shade of primrose, coat by Stultz, Hessians by Hoby, hat – the Bang-up – by Baxter, neckcloth – the Oriental, which is remarkable for its height – by himself. Add to all this a Barcelona handkerchief, a buttonhole as large as a cabbage, a strong aroma of Circassian hair-oil, the deportment of a dancing-master, and a lisp it took him years to bring to perfection, and you will perceive that Alfred is not just in the ordinary style!’

  ‘I wish I might see him!’ she said, laughing. ‘Did you, or is this make-believe?’

  ‘Certainly not! I didn’t see him, but what he didn’t describe to me my aunt did. Poor fellow! he was only bent on doing the pretty, but all his hopes were cut up! The breach was to have been healed – oh, I didn’t mention, did I, that my aunts had quarrelled with his mother? I believe she offended them on the occasion of my uncle’s obsequies, but as I was not present I don’t know what crime she committed, though I wouldn’t bet against the chance that she didn’t render proper respect to their consequence. In any event, Alfred obeyed my Aunt Augusta’s summons, confident that the exercise of a little address – coupled, of course, with his exquisite appearance – would decide not only her, but my Aunts Jane and Eliza as well, to make him their heir – which is a matter of very much more interest to him than his being my heir, pour cause! But alas! faced with the choice between a fop and a rip they preferred the rip – or they would, if I’d be conformable!’

  ‘Behave with propriety?’

  ‘Worse! Marry a butter-toothed female with a pug-nose and a deplorable figure!’

  She laughed. ‘Well, I daresay they wish you to be married, because that would be the most respectable thing you could do, and also, of course, on account of children, so that your cousin would be quite cut out – but I see no reason why she should be pug-nosed, or butter-toothed!’

  ‘Nor I, but she’s both, I promise you. What’s more, she’s been an ape-leader for ten years at least. Do you wonder that I fled?’

  ‘No, but I do wonder that your aunts should have been so gooseish as to have proposed such a match to you! They must be quite addle-brained to suppose that you would look twice at any but the most ravishing females, for you have been used only to be in love with beauties for years and years! It is most unreasonable to expect people to change their habits in the twinkling of an eye.’

  ‘Very true!’ he agreed, admirably preserving his countenance. ‘And Miss Amelia Ubley’s eye has as much twinkle as may be seen in the eye of a fish.’

  ‘Then on no account must you offer for her!’ she said earnestly. ‘I am excessively sorry for her, poor thing, but she would be far happier as an old maid than as your wife! I shouldn’t wonder at it if you made off with someone else before the bride-visits had all been paid, and only think how mortifying for her! How came your aunts to hit upon such an unsuitable female for you? They must have a great deal more hair than wit!’

  His lips twitched, but he replied gravely: ‘I fancy they consider me to be past the age of romantic indiscretions. My Aunt Eliza, at all events, tells me that it is now time I settled-down. She drew for me a very moving picture of the advantages of becoming regularly established.’

  ‘I can see she did. It moved you all the way to Yorkshire! Pray, what are Miss Ubley’s virtues?’

  ‘Well – virtue!’

  ‘That won’t do in the least. Not if you mean that she’s straight-laced, and she sounds to me as if she would be.’

  ‘That’s what she both sounded and looked like to me. However, my aunts informed me that besides being of the first respectability she has superior sense, propriety of taste, and can be trusted to behave always just as she ought. Her fortune is as good as I have any right to expect; and I must remember that if she were not above thirty years of age, and an antidote, neither she nor her parents would entertain my proposal for a minute.’

  ‘What moonshine!’ exclaimed Venetia indignantly.

  There was a good deal of the sneer in the half-smile he threw her. ‘No, that was true enough. I imagine I must rank high on the list of ineligible bachelors – which has this advantage: that there is no need for me to take care lest I fall a prey to a matchmaking mama. It is she who warns her daughter that if she should chance to find herself in company with me she must keep a proper distance.’

  ‘Then you do go to parties?’ she asked. ‘I am very ignorant about society, and what you call the ton, and when you said you were a social outcast I thought perhaps it meant you didn’t go into polite circles at all.’

  ‘Oh, it isn’t as bad as that!’ he assured her. ‘I’m certainly not invited to run tame in houses where the daughters are of marriageable age, and I can think of nothing more unlikely than of being permitted to cross the sacred threshold of Almack’s – unless, of course, I reformed my way of life, married Miss Ubley, and was sponsored by my Aunt Augusta into the holy of holies – but only the very highest sticklers go to the length of cutting my acquaintance! If anything were wanted to make me flee from Miss Ubley’s vicinity it would be the dread of being dragged into precisely those circles from which I am most happy to be excluded!’

  ‘I must say, from all Lady Denny has told me I should suppose the Assemblies at Almack’s to be amazingly dull,’ she observed. ‘When I was a girl it used to be the top of my ambition to attend them, but I think now that I should find them insipid.’

  But this he would not allow. He scolded her for speaking of her girlhood as a thing of the past, and said: ‘When your brother comes home you’ll go on a visit to that aunt of yours, and you will enjoy yourself very much. You will be gay to dissipation, my dear delight, going to all the fashionable squeezes, breaking a great many hearts, and finding every day too short for all the pleasuring you wish to cram into it.’

  ‘Oh, when that day dawns I shall very likely be in my dotage!’ she retorted.

  Eight

  Edward Yardley, secure in the knowledge of his own worth, might rate Damerel cheap, but young Mr Denny, by no means so self-confident as he tried to appear, recognised in him both a model and a menace. Like Edward, he rode over to the Priory to enquire how Aubrey did; unlike Edward, he no sooner clapped eyes on Damerel than he became possessed of a deep and envious hatred.

  Imber ushered him into the library, where Damerel and Aubrey were playing chess, with Venetia seated on a stool by the sofa, watching the game. This cosy scene afforded him no pleasure at all; and when Damerel rose, and he saw how tall he was, with what careless grace he moved, and how much lazy mockery lurked in his eyes, he knew that his sisters had grossly misled him: they had thought his lordship dull and middle-aged; Oswald perceived at one glance that he was a dangerous marauder.

  His visit was not of long duration, but it lasted for quite long enough to enable him to see on what easy terms of intimacy the Lanyons were with their host. They were not only perfectly at home in his house, but they behaved as though they had known him all their lives. Aubrey even called him Jasper; and although Venetia did not go to such outrageous lengths as that she used no formality when she spoke to him. As for Damerel, Nurse might think his attitude a
vuncular, but Oswald, his perception sharpened by jealousy, was not deceived. When his eyes rested on Venetia there was an expression in them very far from avuncular, and when he addressed her there was a caress in his voice. Oswald glared at him, and tried in vain to think of some adroit way of getting himself and Venetia out of the room. None occurred to him, so he was forced to employ direct tactics, saying rather throatily, and with reddening cheeks, as he shook hands in farewell: ‘May I speak to you for a moment?’

  ‘Yes, of course you may!’ Venetia replied kindly. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Don’t be gooseish, m’dear!’ recommended Aubrey, inspiring Oswald with a longing to wring his neck.

  ‘You have a message for her from Lady Denny, which you would prefer to deliver in private, haven’t you?’ suggested Damerel helpfully, but with an unholy twinkle.

  In a nobler age one could have answered such impertinence by jostling his lordship as he stood holding open the door, so that he would have been obliged to demand a meeting. Or did one, even in that age, refrain from jostling people in doorways when a lady was present?

  Before he had decided this point he had followed Venetia into the hall, and Damerel had shut the door on them. He uttered tensely: ‘If I know myself, there will be a reckoning between us one day!’

  Venetia was accustomed to his dramatic outbursts, but she found this one surprising. ‘Between us?’ she asked. ‘Now, what in the world have I done to put you in a miff, Oswald?’

  ‘You! Never!’ he declared. ‘It’s no matter – I should not have spoken, but there are times when a man’s feelings may not be suppressed!’ He eyed her hungrily. ‘Only give me the right to call you mine!’ he invited.

  ‘What, is that why you wanted to talk to me alone?’ she exclaimed. ‘Of all the ridiculous starts – ! I wish you will believe that when I say No, No is precisely what I mean! How can you be so absurd? I am more than six years older than you! Besides, you don’t really wish to marry me in the least!’