by Rachel Burns
Chandler smiled at her. She was different. Or was she different because he wasn’t throwing insults her way. Before he knew it, he had leaned in and kissed her on her lips.
Cathy’s eyes closed, and she leaned her body into his chest. When he removed his lips, her fingers gently ran over her lips. “You kissed me?” she stated.
“Umm – Yes, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“Oh,” Cathy sighed, disappointed.
“Did you like it?” He asked her like it was impossible to believe she could have.
“I don’t know,” she confessed.
Chandler thought about it for a moment. Then he leaned down and kissed her again. This time she kissed him back. Her hands moved to his head, and her fingers dug into his hair.
Chandler deepened their kiss. His tongue slipped into her mouth. It was an all-consuming kiss, which left both of them breathless.
Each looked down at the floor while they thought about what had just happened and decided what should come next.
Chandler took Cathy in his arms and kissed her even more passionately than a moment before.
When Cathy’s fingers opened his buttons, he didn’t protest. He opened a couple of buttons on her blouse and tugged it out of her tight jeans. His hands moved to her backside, and he pulled her body close to his.
Cathy removed his shirt and let it fall to the floor behind him. She ground her hips a little into the bulge, which had formed in his trousers.
“Sweet Cathy, you’re killing me.”
Cathy opened the remaining buttons on her blouse and moved her blouse to the side, so he could see her better.
Chandler’s hand moved to her breasts, cupping them in his hands. The pointer finger on his right hand slipped into her bra and stroked over her nipple. Immediately, it hardened.
Cathy opened his belt. Then, she unbuttoned his soft trousers. She let them fall to the floor. Her hand kneaded over his penis, stroking him through his boxers.
“Sweet Cathy,” he repeated. Cathy opened her jeans with her free hand. Once they were open, she let go of him and pushed them down.
The past few years of celibacy had been hard for her to take. She longed to be held and touched. Some days, she only wanted to be thoroughly taken.
Chandler took hold of her under her arms and lifted her up to the countertop. She opened her legs wide, and he pressed himself against her again. He took hold of her bra and pushed it down, so both of her breasts were free.
The moment he saw her naked nipples, he latched onto one, sucking it for a minute before he went to the other to also give it its due reverence.
“Do you want this?” he asked.
“Just don’t stop.”
“I won’t.” Chandler’s right hand cupped her, and his middle finger entered her. “You’re ready,” he told her, sounding doctor-like.
“Okay,” Cathy opened her legs wider and leaned back a little, so he could take her. She needed this so much. She had been avoiding men for too long. Now she was putty in one’s hands.
Chandler wanted to slam into her, but he paused. “Are you a virgin?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Oh good. Then I don’t have to take this slowly.” He thrust into her making her gasp and quiver.
At first, Cathy feared he would be like her boyfriend back then, taking and hurting her without giving anything back, but then she was surrounded by something that felt so good, something that left her wanting more, even demanding for more while she whispered into his ear.
Chandler had his eyes fixed on Cathy’s face. Her eyes were closed, and she was holding her lower lip captive between her teeth. Her hands were on his shoulder blades, pressing into them. He could tell she wanted to keep him right where he was.
Chandler pounded his body into hers. Normally, he wasn’t the type for hard and fast sex. He considered himself a connoisseur of the womanly body. He liked to enjoy sex, but with Cathy things were always in extremes. Today he wanted to slam himself into this beautiful woman.
It was clear Cathy was enjoying this. She was panting and moving against his thrusts, keeping his pace.
Cathy wanted to come so badly. She needed it. Her hips moved faster, and he let her set the pace, even though it was already at a neck-breaking speed.
Chandler saw her jaw fall open and slack. Her head fell back, and her body jerked around him. She was coming. The features of her face relaxed even though her hips were still moving. She was holding onto him by the back of his neck. Her breathing was slowing down.
“You’re so beautiful when you come.”
Cathy’s eyes flew open. Suddenly, she was able to remember time and place.
Before she could say anything, Chandler rammed into her hard again, taking her breath away. The impact took her mind off all the insults she wanted to say to him. She had wanted to blame him for this and make sure he felt guilty, but he was raising her need for him and making her forget why she had ever hated him.
“I love you,” she whispered into his ear.
Chapter 5 – Shadow Animals
“Honey, it doesn’t work that way.” Scott removed Brianna’s arms from around his neck.
“But it should work that way,” Brianna frowned, disappointed. She had loved their first time together, and she was eager for more.
“Sorry, but men would never get any work done if they could make love so soon again. We’d all starve to death.”
“Will you let me know when you can again?”
“I give you my word.”
Scott was thrilled. Brianna didn’t even look winded. It had been a good idea to do this in advance. That worry simply melted away. Now he could enjoy his wedding day and night. Afterwards, they would have a real marriage with everything that entailed.
“I’m looking forward to our wedding now,” he admitted.
“I’m looking forward to doing ‘it’ again.” Brianna glanced back at the pillows.
Scott wrapped his arms around her and pushed her back into the mattress. “Who would have guessed you would be so wanton for my loving?”
Chandler looked into Cathy’s eyes. The tears were still there from when he had insulted her.
Would she hate me now? He asked himself.
Cathy couldn’t believe that had actually just happened. It had all gone so fast, making it feel like a dream, one that was now slipping away as she woke up. He was still inside of her, and they were merely staring at each other.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m not.”
“That I can believe.” she looked away from him. “I meant that I regret it – already. Scott is going to kill you.”
Chandler felt hurt. He had given her such pleasure, and she was already pushing him away. He was so mad at her that he laid his hands on the sides of her face and turned her, so she had to look at him.
Chandler couldn’t think of anything to say. The muscles in his neck and shoulders relax, and he leaned into her and kissed her gently. “I think I love you too,” he whispered into her ear. Then he kissed her some more. His hips were rocking still giving her pleasure. He never wanted this moment to stop.
Cathy felt like she had done something very wrong. She turned her head away from him again and cried. Why do I always get things wrong? He has a girlfriend. We just talked about her. He defended her. When will I ever be more than just sex to a man?
“Cathy, please don’t regret this. This was entirely my fault, not yours. I’m sorry. The blame is all mine.” Chandler tried to push her hair out of her face, so he could see her, but it always fell back down. He knew he should pull out of her and get dressed again, but he didn’t want to break contact with her. His heart was pounding so hard he could hear the throbbing in his ears.
“I have to go home now.”
“I’ll drive you.” He was still trying to look into her eyes.
“If you will excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom and wash my face.”
It was clear what s
he meant. Chandler took a slight step back, and his penis fell out of her.
Cathy immediately closed her legs and jumped down from the countertop. She gathered her jeans and underwear and went to the bathroom. Her face was all red, and her eyes were puffy. If she went home now, she would have to explain why she looked this way to her parents.
The thought of admitting that made her sit down on the bathtub and start to bawl again. How could she tell her parents that she had slept with a guy, who again wasn’t really in love with her?
Chandler stood outside of the door, mentally kicking himself for being such a jerk.
Cathy wasn’t like the girls he dated. She was a real woman. She would never sleep with him because of his money, as he suspected all the women he dated up until then had been doing. Cathy was a good girl from a nice family. Girls like her didn’t get treated this way.
“Cathy, may I come in?”
“Please, leave me alone. I’m fine. You can drive back to the city. I’ll call my dad to come get me when I’m finished in here. You don’t have to worry about me.” She hoped he hadn’t heard her crying. She wanted to sound like she had everything under control. He should think that their having sex hadn’t been a big deal for her.
Cathy didn’t fool him. Chandler couldn’t believe how monstrous he had behaved towards her. He hadn’t said anything nice to her since he picked her up. Heck, he hadn’t said anything nice to her since he met her.
“Are you sure it isn’t problem?”
“No problem at all. Bye,” she called back.
“Bye,” he repeated as he walked to the door and opened and closed it loudly. He tiptoed to the sofa and sat down, waiting for her to come out. He sat like a well-behaved little boy, with his hands firmly pressed against each other between his knees. His shoulders were slumped as he replayed what happened in his mind.
It was entirely his fault and now she felt bad about herself, Cathy who smiled at everyone and made them feel important.
People often asked him if the nice nurse was working? They wanted her at their sides when they were so weak and needy. Cathy had a way of making people not feel bad about themselves when they needed a bedpan and when they made any sort of mess. She cleaned it up and assured them everything was completely normal. She washed them and saw to it they were as comfortable as possible, giving them the feeling they deserved to be treated as well as she treated them.
If he ever needed a nurse, he would want Cathy as his side.
He wanted her at his side even if he wasn’t sick.
His mind retraced things back to the beginning. It was all clear now. Scott had introduced her as his sister, and his mind immediately dismissed her as a woman, but his heart hadn’t. He must have been in love with her from the very start. Instead of wooing her, he treated her badly. There must have been sexual tension between them from the beginning. Why hadn’t he seen it before, he asked himself.
Cathy washed her face several more times. She figured the best thing to do would be to sleep here tonight.
“Dad, it’s me. We saw the moving van off, but we still need to do some cleaning. We want to make sure the house is perfect when the owners return. To show them that we really appreciated them letting us borrow it. We’ll be home tomorrow.” She hung up before he could ask to speak with Scott. All she knew was that Scott and Brianna were having one last date together before they became an old married couple. They wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.
She went into Scott and Brianna’s bedroom and removed her jeans and blouse. She lay down in their marital bed and once again started to cry. At the rate she was going, she would never sleep in a marital bed again.
Chandler had heard her talking, but he didn’t know what she said. He figured she had called her dad to come get her. That meant he would have to do some explaining. Scott’s father was a strong man. His fist in Chandler’s jaw would hurt like hell.
When Cathy went to the bedroom and turned out the lights, he got up and quietly went to her. She was crying again.
He stood in the doorway, debating what he should do. He went to the other side of the bed and lifted up the covers and got in beside her.
“Who’s there?” Cathy asked in panic.
“It’s me. I feel like such a jerk. I couldn’t leave you alone like this, so I pretended to leave. I’ll leave you alone and sleep on the couch. You can sleep. I’ll watch over you, so you’re safe.”
“Who’s going to protect me from you?” Cathy asked as she rolled towards him.
Chandler stood up. He could easily make out her wet shiny eyes in the moonlight, which was straining in through the window. He could also see her wrinkled up forehead.
“Your tears will protect you.” He lifted his pointer finger to her face and wiped the back of his finger under her eye as he sat down on the bed. There were too many tears to wipe away.
“They didn’t protect me from you before.”
“I thought you wanted to, and that you wouldn’t regret it.” He cupped her wet face in his hand. With his thumb he stroked tears away. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“It was stupid of me. I should have stopped you. My parents would be so mad at me. Please, don’t ever tell anyone.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t.”
“Let me guess; a gentleman never tells.”
“I wouldn’t call myself a gentleman. I’ve never been one where you’re concerned. I’m sorry about that,” Chandler apologized.
“I wasn’t an angel either.”
“No, there’s nothing wrong with you. I inspected you, and you came out okay. I’m the bad guy.”
Cathy raised her eyebrow at him. “Why are you being nice to me? I know you don’t like women who cause problems.”
“I caused this problem,” he stated.
“I helped. My father likes to say wherever there is trouble I’m not far away.”
“All parents who care say things like that.”
“Did yours?” Cathy asked.
“No, they were far too busy to notice me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Cathy was thinking back to all the times she wished her parents wouldn’t notice when she did something she shouldn’t have done. They always noticed. “Tell me more about your parents.”
What should he tell her? He felt he didn’t know them, so what could he say? He had wronged her, so he wanted to give into her simple request and tell her something.
Chandler started to talk, and then he realized he was pouring out his soul to Cathy, telling her things he had never even told Scott. He laid down beside her in bed as they talked.
Three hours later, Chandler asked if he could take off his trousers and shirt. Cathy smiled and nodded.
Chandler turned on the dim bedside light and quickly removed his things. He lay back down and looked at the ceiling. “When I was a kid, I memorized a book about shadow animals. I’d like to see if I could still do it. Will you humor me?”
Cathy wasn’t sure what he meant, but she nodded.
Chandler grabbed the lamp and tilted it to the side. “Look at that wall and tell me what you can see.” He pointed to the wall next to Cathy.
Cathy rolled away from him and waited. At first, she saw his hands, but then they turned into a soaring bird, flapping its wings. “A bird,” she called out excited.
Chandler smiled to himself. He had gotten her to stop crying, and she was even smiling now. He moved his hands, so they formed a cat.
“A cat! It even has a tail.”
Chandler used his thumb to make it look like the cat was licking itself.
“Chandler, you’re amazing.”
This was something he had never shown anyone before. He felt it was proof of his lonely childhood. Still, this was something he could show her and not have to feel ashamed about. It was hard to believe that Cathy was the same woman who he had just made love to. She was the real deal, the whole package.
He made her smile as best as he could. He was sorry she regretted sleeping
with him. It hadn’t been his intention to make her feel bad about herself.
When she was tired, Chandler wrapped his arms around her and held her.
Cathy was tired, but she fought to stay awake.
“I’m sorry, Cathy. I never should have done that.”
“It wasn’t your fault. I’m just extremely mad at myself. I let myself down. It wasn’t you.”
Chandler didn’t understand what she meant. She hadn’t been a virgin. “How did you let yourself down?”
“I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. But I did. I feel so stupid. The worst thing was I didn’t see it coming. Normally, I stay away from guys.”
“I still don’t understand,” Chandler confessed.
Cathy started to shake her head, but the feeling of rubbing her face against his chest was an especially nice one.
Chandler’s heart was starting to beat faster. He figured she could rub him anywhere to get a reaction out of him. He took a deep breath, and her head rose up with his chest.
“I had a boyfriend in my freshmen year. I was away from home for the first time, and I was eager to do things that grown-ups did. I was very immature. I thought I was having fun and being very cool, but when – it was time to sleep with each other, he proved that I wasn’t special to him. I was just a girl to have sex with. He hurt me so much I had to go to the hospital. I wanted to stay away from men forever.”
Chandler tightened his grip on Cathy. The thought of any one hurting her pissed him off. “Where is he now?”
“In jail. He stalked me and even tried to kidnap me. Scott found me in time.”
“When is he getting out?” Every muscle in Chandler’s body tensed up.
“Not for a very long time. Don’t worry about him. The point is: I can’t trust my own judgment. I never could.”
“So because you slept with me I must be evil?”
“Basically, yes. I never make good decisions.”
“What are you saying, Cathy?”
“If I like you, then there is something wrong with you. It’s really as simple as that.”
“What? No, it isn’t. Just because you made a mistake years ago doesn’t mean you did now.”
