by Rachel Burns
“Then why are you so happy?”
“She was very sorry when I was finished. She wanted to make it up to me for dragging me away from our meal.”
John understood. “Yes, that can happen. Not always, but it does happen.” John smiled to himself. He was glad the two of them were so happily married. The only thing that bothered him was that they were ignoring their friends. He would remind Brianna to call Cathy on Monday.
Cathy was glad she had the house to herself. She had driven for over an hour before she stopped at a pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test. Now she was waiting for the results.
‘Please, let it be negative’, she prayed. She wanted to know why every time she made a mistake it backfired. Twice in her life she’d slept with a man. The first one ended up hurting her, and the second one got her pregnant.
Chandler had been bugging her since it happened. He cornered her at the wedding several times. He left her thousands of messages on her phone.
Why didn’t he understand that she wanted to forget what had happened. He didn’t like her. He didn’t even know her. Pity was the only thing keeping his attention on her.
If only she hadn’t cried, he would have forgotten her like he did all of his other conquests.
It was time. The five minutes were over. She could go and look now.
Her feet wouldn’t move forward. She was scared stiff. She didn’t want to know what it would say.
Cathy scolded herself, she needed to go and see. If it were negative, then all of her worries would be gone. If it were positive, she needed time to figure out what would be best to do. Maybe she should move away and raise the baby all alone. It was clear no one should ever find out about this.
How could she have ruined her life like this? It had taken so much effort to get back on track again.
Cathy took a step forward and walked into the bathroom. The pregnancy stick was still lying on the side of the bathtub. Two lines were clear to see from where she stood in the doorway. She picked it up and compared it with the package.
She was pregnant.
Cathy sank down to the floor and leaned against the bathtub. She wept, feeling all alone.
Chandler left another message on Cathy’s cell, asking her to call him back.
He was worried about her, but it was time to face the truth. She didn’t feel the same way about him.
It was time for him to be a gentleman and take her unsubtle hints. She wanted to be left alone.
Could he forget her as easily as she had forgotten him?
Chapter 19 – Surprise
Scott walked into the pharmacy, telling himself he was a married man. He had nothing to be embarrassed about.
Scott searched the aisles until he found what he was looking for. He sighed. There were at least twenty different types of pregnancy tests to choose from.
“Can I help you, sir?” The woman was eyeing him, trying to figure out what he was doing in the feminine hygiene aisle.
“Yes, my wife hasn’t been feeling well lately, and she is late. This would be our first child, so I don’t have a clue about pregnancy tests.”
The pharmacist had to smile. She could hardly believe how relaxed this guy was about buying a pregnancy test for his wife.
Scott listened to her and then decided. He hoped Brianna would be okay. The added worry of her health problems was ever-present.
Scott entered the house with a grin. Brianna rushed to the door. “Have you got it?”
“Of course, I do. Should we do the test right away?” he asked her eagerly.
“Yes.” They went off to the bathroom together. Scott explained the test, repeating what the pharmacist told him.
The test was quickly taken, and the results showed up immediately.
“Scott, it says eight weeks.”
“That’s how far along you are.”
“But we have only been married for seven weeks.” Brianna bit into her lower lip as she worried.
“No one is ever going to find out. They aren’t going to ask you about our wedding date. Brianna, you don’t have to worry. I think it’s even funny. Who cares when the baby was made? It has two loving parents. That’s all that matters.” He hugged her and whispered his congratulations into her ear.
They made plans and talked about her going to see a doctor.
Their hearts were filled with joy.
Chapter 20 – Pretending To Be All Right
Cathy rang Brianna’s doorbell and waited. Brianna was going to be leaving for her yearly trip to Minnesota where the best doctors would look her over.
The door opened, and a vibrant Brianna smiled at Cathy. “Come in. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine. I simply can’t kick my cold.”
“I’ll heat up some soup for you.” Brianna went into her kitchen.
“You have soup?” Cathy asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“You only make soup when someone is sick?”
“I wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I made a pot full of soup, just in case. But I’m feeling so much better now.” Brianna had thrown up again this morning. Scott sat on the bathroom floor with her until it passed. She was so thankful to have him by her side.
“I hope you didn’t catch my flu.” Cathy said, thinking it was expected from her. She knew perfectly well she didn’t have the flu.
“No, I’m positive I didn’t. Have a seat on the sofa. I’ll bring you a bowlful.”
“Thank you, Brianna.”
Cathy sat down and looked around. The house was an older one. One that was very simple, but it made Brianna very happy. She was happy to play house with Scott.
“I’ve applied to several hospitals. I was thinking it might be time to move out from home. I’m getting the feeling my parents are counting the minutes until they finally have us all out of the nest.”
“Nonsense. They have been alone the past four years. I know they are glad to have you. You don’t need to apply for different job. Maybe you should look for an apartment. Are you having problems with your mom at work? Are you together too much?” Brianna asked, concerned. She slipped a bowl into Cathy’s waiting fingers.
“No, but I worry it might become a problem. She’s the head nurse, so she will clearly end up favoring me.”
“Still, family is important. We are truly sisters now. That’s so great.”
Brianna and Scott had decided to wait until she was in the fourth month before they told anyone, but she just couldn’t wait. “In fact, I want you to be more than an aunt to our baby. We want you to be the godmother. You need to be here to see your god-child growing up.” Brianna laid her right hand lovingly over her tummy.
“You’re pregnant too?” Cathy set the bowl down on the coffee table.
“Yes. Who else is pregnant?”
Cathy realized her mistake too late. “Never mind. It’s a lady from work. You don’t know her.”
“Don’t tell anyone, not even your parents. We want to wait until I’m past the third month.”
Cathy’s jaw had dropped. She was jealous from her head to the very tips of her toes. Brianna and Scott were expecting a baby. Of course they were. They were perfect. They would have a perfect baby, and everything would be perfect. Someone like Brianna would never let herself get into an impossible situation like Cathy had. “I won’t tell anyone anything. Your secret is safe with me.”
Brianna smiled at her best friend. “I wish you weren’t so sick. You aren’t even strong enough to get excited about this.”
“I think I’ll just finish my soup and head out. I can’t risk you getting sick too. Especially not now.” Cathy quickly drank her soup and stood up. “I’m very happy for you, Brianna. I know you’ll be a great mother.”
“Thank you, Cathy.” Brianna hugged Cathy, but Cathy didn’t hug her back.
“I don’t want to risk making you sick. You have to be careful for two. I’ll see you when you get back from Minnesota.” Cathy let herself out.
She went home
and cried in her bed. Why couldn’t she have happy thoughts about her baby?
Maybe she should call Chandler.
Cathy quickly changed her mind. She would wait until after the three month mark too. Brianna was right about that.
Besides, the idea of pushing off a very uncomfortable talk would be the best thing for her. She couldn’t deal with her problems today.
Tomorrow was soon enough.
Chapter 21 – Advice
Scott sat on a very uncomfortable chair and waited for Brianna’s doctors. The car ride here had been long. Brianna had been sick most of the way.
Brianna’s doctor entered the room and shook their hands. He asked her questions, and Brianna admitted she was pregnant.
Her doctor stopped smiling. “Pregnant?” he repeated
“Yes, in my second month.”
“I wish we’d had a chance to talk about this beforehand.” He closed his eyes. “This isn’t a good idea.” The doctor explained to her why she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. He spoke of the strain of a pregnancy on her body and advised her to get an abortion.
When she protested, the doctor turned to Scott. “If she were my wife; I wouldn’t risk it.”
The doctor left them alone, so they could discuss everything alone.
“I can’t, Scott. I can’t do anything that could hurt our baby.”
“What have I done? I should have known. I should have asked first.” It was Scott’s job to protect Brianna, and now he had brought her into danger. This was a lose/lose situation.
He held her in his arms as if he thought she would pass away any second now. “I can’t live without you.”
“Please, Scott, no. We can’t hurt the baby.” Brianna wept on his shoulder.
“Brianna, we have to listen to the doctors. They are the experts.”
“Scott, no.”
“Brianna, I won’t let you die.”
“But you love baby. I know you do.”
“Of course, I do. We will mourn our baby, but I won’t mourn you, because you’re going to stay with me.”
The doctor came back and spoke with Scott about the abortion.
Scott opened the door to their hotel room for Brianna. She had just walked out of the hospital, telling Scott that they were gaining up on her.
Scott followed her out. She was upset and in danger. The doctor had explained that her heart probably couldn’t beat for two. Other doctors were called in, and they all confirmed the first doctor’s opinion. They had said things that Brianna hadn’t wanted to hear. They all felt the risk was too great.
Scott convinced the doctors to let him take her home. The procedure would be done there, he told them.
Brianna kicked off her shoes and lay down in bed once they returned to their hotel. “No.” She repeated the word over and over.
“I’m so sorry, Brianna. I’ll make this up to you. I don’t know how, but I will.”
“I want to keep my baby.”
“I know you do, darling, but the doctors don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“I think it is.”
Scott sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. How could he have done this to her?
Brianna woke up sick the next morning. The long car ride, the terrible news that had felt like a slap in her face, sleeping in a strange bed, and the baby were making her feel awful.
Scott wanted to listen to the doctors and not to her or to his own heart. That hurt her too. Why couldn’t he see that it was impossible to hurt the baby? A baby that God had given them to love and to take care of. How could they hurt their own child? Brianna knew she couldn’t do it.
Scott heard Brianna throwing up in the bathroom. He had hardly slept, so it was difficult for him to get up now. He threw the covers back and stumbled into the bathroom. “It’s okay, darling. I’m here now.”
He sat down on the cold tiled floor and held her hair back.
“I’m finished for now. I only need to wash my face. Then I’d like to lie down.”
“Sure.” Scott helped her to her feet. When she looked up in the mirror, he saw she looked like hell. He wanted to apologize again, but she had scolded him to stop doing that last night.
Brianna went back to bed and waited for her morning sickness to pass. “I feel a need to warn you. I will not do anything to hurt my baby. If you don’t agree with that, we will have to go our separate ways.”
Scott got into bed and looked at her. “Get some rest. It’s a long drive home.”
“I mean it, Scott. I’m keeping the baby.”
Scott closed his eyes. “So you have already decided this, without me?”
“Yes, I had to. You were listening to people who don’t know me. They only know my medical records. Me, the real Brianna, is a fighter. I don’t only fight, I win. I always win. And I will again. Life knocks me down and puts me through trials, but in the end I’m always standing on my feet. This won’t be any different.”
“You’re right, darling. The problem is everyone has to die eventually. It’s wrong to provoke fate.”
“So you think that it is wrong for me to want a child. Everyone but me gets to have a baby. I get to be sick and get better, like a yo-yo moving up and down, but I’m denied a real life. You probably think someone like me is especially lucky to get married. I would agree with that. I am thrilled to be your wife, but I’m more than that. I’m baby’s mother and not just some sickly lady. I’m tougher than I look. I’ll do this. You’ll see.”
“Are you trying to be a trooper and do what is right? You don’t have to. I know you’re afraid of dying. That’s understandable, everyone is. You don’t have to die because of this. We will do what we have to, and it will be the hardest thing we will ever do, but we’ll be there for each other.”
“I’m serious. I will not get an abortion. And that’s final.”
Brianna and Scott hardly talked to each other on the way home, other than to try to convince the other to see the errors in their thinking. Brianna wanted to get Scott on her side. Scott wanted Brianna to know he couldn’t live without her, and that she needed to listen to her doctors.
Once they got home, Brianna went into their bedroom and packed a bag.
“You aren’t going anywhere.” Scott took the bag from her.
“Yes, I am.” She tried to grab the bag from him.
“You think your parents will go along with what you want? They won’t. They won’t risk losing you.”
Brianna grabbed the bag from him. “I feel in my heart that I can do this. Goodbye, Scott. I wish you hadn’t made me choose, but you did. I chose to help our helpless little baby.” She left slamming the door.
Scott sat down and took a moment to cool down. He knew perfectly well her parents would side with her doctors. That would break her heart, and she would need him to be strong and comfort her. He needed his strength for something like that.
Scott folded his hands. “God, I haven’t called upon you in a long time. Today I once again call on you, wanting something. I know I should have thanked you for all the wondrous things you have given me, but I didn’t take a moment to do so other than in church. I have a request. I need help with Brianna. I got her pregnant, and now she has to pay the price. She has been forced into a position no woman should be forced into. She has to kill her own child. I understand she can’t do that. So I have to be the bad guy and make her do what she has to, so she can survive. Help her to find it in her heart to forgive me afterwards. And help me to forgive myself.”
Chapter 22 – When A Man Loves A Woman
Cathy sat next to Brianna, holding her hand. Brianna had confided what had happened.
It was hard not to sit next to Brianna and ask God what he was thinking. Why did he let Brianna get pregnant? Brianna, who desperately wanted a baby and a family, but couldn’t have one.
Cathy was pregnant with a child she didn’t want. Why hadn’t god made Brianna healthy? Cathy should be the sick one. She didn’t have a special someone, and she c
ouldn’t think of the baby as being special.
“I’m not going to get an abortion. No matter what anybody says.”
“I’ll stand behind your decision, Brianna. You can count on me.”
“Cathy, I can do this. I can feel it. In fact, I think this is something I could excel at. I’ll be the world’s best mom. I know I’ll live, and so will the baby.”
“The problem is if you’re wrong, you’ll be dead wrong.”
“Then I wouldn’t have to listen to anyone say ‘I told you so’.”
Cathy laughed a little. That felt good. “I know you can do this. You’re going to spend most of the pregnancy in bed, but you’ll do that gladly for your baby, and then you’ll be a mother. Not any kind of mother. You’ll be the kind the other mothers don’t like because you’re going to be perfect.”
“Naturally, my child deserves perfection.” Brianna lifted her nose up in the air in a snobby way, playing along.
“Your house will always be clean, your child will wear perfectly laundered things with no stains. Not even grass stains on the knees.”
“They’re so easy to get out.” Brianna smiled. This play felt so good.
“Your nails will be perfectly done and hair just so. Oh, if you have a daughter, you two will wear matching outfits.”
“That I would like to see.” Scott had listened to them talking at the door.
First, he had gone to her parents’ house, looking for her. He confessed what had happened and how the doctors felt about it. They had sat down and talked for a very long time.
Her parents told him they would stand behind Brianna’s decision. They didn’t want her to be ruined. Losing the baby would break her heart.
Charles wanted to hire a nurse to stay with Brianna constantly. She would need a maid and a gardener. The house had to run smoothly. Nothing would be allowed to upset Brianna. If they took great care with her, it could work. Scott saw the hope in their eyes. They wanted a grandchild.
