Doubt always followed the certainty that he'd confront Britt and tell her what plans he had for the rest of his life. And inform his wife that he saw no other solution but divorce. He'd tell her that they'd grown apart, as he so often pointed out to Jasmine. Soon he'd be all hers. He'd promised. All she had to do was cling to the hope and be patient a little while longer.
Jasmine touched her aching head. She was the only passenger on the bus and felt like bawling. But she restrained herself. She tried to analyze what had happened. Was Neil her father, for real? If so, it meant she had a father who was still alive. That was something, at least. Not that she'd had much contact with William when growing up. She'd hardly seen him and had difficulty remembering spending time with her father. She knew her siblings felt the same way, so William had treated them equally in that respect. It was small comfort.
They'd talked for hours after the others had left. To end the evening in style, they'd gone to the restaurant for dinner. Accompanying her mother and father had been weird. She'd taken to Neil, even though she couldn't comprehend that he was her father. And yet, she couldn't deny there were similarities between them. The eyes, the tender skin, and the tiny freckles. And the red shade of her hair, which according to Neil was just the same as his, before it had turned silvery-white. They even had a comparable shape of the face. She'd never resembled her other siblings but hadn't given it any thought. Why should she? She had never dreamt of them having different fathers.
Jasmine acknowledged a lot of contrasting emotions. There was so much to take in. Suddenly she had two half-brothers in Scotland. They were both married, so what did that make their wives? Half-sister-in-law, if there was anything like that. And they had kids too. That would make them half-nieces and half-nephews. And what would the child she was expecting become to them? Quarter-cousin? No, it was too complicated. She had no idea what term to use.
A smile formed on Jasmine's mouth. There was one thing she especially liked. She was her parents' love child. How beautiful was that? It was precisely the way Neil had described her. She'd never completely understood her mother but felt a certain connection with her new father. Jasmine was not able to describe this feeling, but it felt good. She hoped Neil would stay a while, so she could get to know him better. Perhaps life wasn't so bad, after all.
***
Miranda knew she ought to prioritize differently. It was Sunday, and she should be at home trying to solve her issues with Vidar. But the teens were out with friends and the thought of spending time alone with her husband wasn't tempting.
She had gotten loads of work done these last few hours. Being hotel manager was demanding. She had the main responsibility of all departments but acknowledged it would take time to get everything running smoothly, the way she wanted and expected. She was still contemplating who was behind the break-in at her office. Gabriel had investigated further but had no answers. The thought of someone being in here, trying to ruin things for her, was depressing. Unconsciously, she'd started scanning the room when she entered it in the morning, to see if everything was as it should be. It was uncomfortable not feeling safe in her own office, and worrying if someone had been here while she was gone. As long as nobody owned up to it, there was nothing she could do but hope it was a one-off.
Miranda sat down on the terrace and ordered a cup of tea. It was a lovely spring day with sunshine and a white mackerel sky. There were only three tables with customers. They should have had a full house. It was Solvik's best outdoor service. You couldn't get closer to the sea than this. The view was magnificent, the food exquisite and the inviting beach was waiting for the summer guests to arrive shortly.
"Are you here all alone?" Kitty came along with King in her purse and sat next to her.
Miranda was happy to have her grandma's company. "I'm wondering where all the guests are."
"So am I. Why isn't it jam-packed? You won't find a more beautiful place anywhere in this country." Kitty ordered a Baileys from the waiter who'd come over to them. "And my dear Freddy and I have visited many a place."
Miranda looked at Kitty's pink nails and felt exceedingly dull. "You're always wearing something feisty, Kitty. And your nail varnish matches your clothes."
"And King's bow, mind you." She straightened his hair bow, and the tiny dog started cuddling her. "Life's too short to dress drearily. That's what my Freddy always said, and I believe he meant me. He was rather conservative, clothes wise. You know, his big belly would have looked elegant in a suit, but he felt a shirt and corduroys would do nicely. No one would call my Freddy a fashionmonger."
"And yet you loved him dearly. I remember Granddad well and have many fond memories from that time." Miranda sipped her tea.
"So true. I loved him, even if he wasn't perfect in any way. We were soul enemies."
Miranda smiled. "Soulmates, you mean."
"Anyway, what are you going to do about Vidar?" Kitty conveniently changed the subject to something more current. She lived in the present when it suited her.
"I haven't decided yet. I'm thinking of the children first and foremost and what's best for them. They're afraid we'll split up." She bit her lip. It was all so hard. If she only had herself to consider, then...
"That's very noble of you, but if you're not happy yourself, it won't do any good to stay for the children's sake." Kitty cuddled King.
"I know you're right, it's just that there are many emotions involved. But I must decide soon. It can't continue like this. Everything is so complicated."
They were watching the sea reflecting the sun and the boats heading toward the marina.
"And then there's all this fuss with Jasmine. It seems like she'll never grow up. And now she's got a new father, too." Kitty shook her head as if to underscore her point.
"It might be for the best. They seem to get along well."
Kitty laughed. "Yes, better with a living one than a dead one."
Miranda looked at her, dismayed. It was her son they were talking about. It was only three months since his funeral, but her grandma had a peculiar ability to think on her feet. She had an irrepressible desire to live, no matter what adversity she met.
"Life must go on." Kitty had a pragmatic attitude to most things. "You know, I didn't see William any more than you did. He was a loner, to be honest. Much too involved in his business and career. But he must've loved me since he gave me this gorgeous suite."
Miranda knew that if William had ever loved anyone, it must have been her. "Of course he loved you, Kitty." She stood and hugged her warmly. "It's time to go home and start on dinner. See you later."
25
"So William wasn't Jasmine's father?" Gabriel scratched his head and looked at Miranda, wondering. "I'll say, there's an awful lot of drama in your family."
She had decided to tell him the latest news. It felt good to have someone to talk with. Possibly too good, as she always looked forward to their morning meetings. And the kiss was impossible to forget...
"No kidding, there's always something new. It wasn't like this before, when our jobs were all over, and we didn't see much of each other. But we work closely here," she said.
"And then you had some extra challenges turn up," he added.
"That too."
"How are you holding up?"
She looked into his blue eyes and knew he meant the relationship between herself and Vidar. It was a tough question to answer.
"I'm not sure. We hardly talk with each other, and Vidar's training a lot. According to him, everything's fine now. He's waiting to move back into our bedroom." Oh no, did she really say that? It was a bit embarrassing to bring that subject up. She felt herself blush but pretended not to care.
"He can't be serious." Gabriel stared at her in disbelief. "Forgiving adultery isn't something you do overnight."
She shook her head. "It seems entirely impossible to me. Also, we've got Jasmine's pregnancy looming ahead of us. There's no end to it. At least not until Christmas, when we'll know more, and
that's a long wait." She felt herself fill with despair again. What was she to do? The children would be upset if she asked Vidar to move out. How would they handle life with only her? And what if they wanted to live with their father instead? She couldn't bear to think about it, the very thought hurt too much.
"I fully understand. You've got others to think of. The children's needs are important but don't forget yourself, Miranda. It doesn't help to keep the children happy if the relationship between you two doesn't work. They'll see through it in no time."
"I guess you're right. Silence and a poor atmosphere can be as bad as constant quarreling. It doesn't seem as threatening, but we fool ourselves if we think otherwise," she said.
He extended his arm, gently stroking her across the shoulder. She felt his touch run through her body. Without looking at him, she sensed him pulling her closer, holding her tightly. She didn't dare meet his eyes because she knew what would happen if she did. Instead, they remained seated like this a long while. She felt safe, knowing that he cared about her. Being this close made her heart beat faster. She was tempted to lift her eyes. He probably wanted her to take the lead because he was sitting perfectly still. The attraction was too high. It was the kind of situation that would be impossible to escape, even if she wanted to. Her conscience chimed like bells in her ears, but she ignored it. She was fed up with continually doing the right thing when Vidar could do as he pleased, over and over.
Slowly, she glanced up at Gabriel. He gave her a warm smile, and she couldn't take her eyes away from his. Imperceptibly, their faces drew closer, until their lips met in a soft kiss. Every rational thought vanished in an instant. She became lost in her own fantasy world and enjoyed the kiss that was getting more intense, and her emotions got the upper hand.
All of a sudden, Gabriel withdrew, and she felt the warmth from his lips disappear. "Miranda, we shouldn't. The chemistry between us is strong." He stroked her hair as if he wanted to change his mind.
"I've noticed." She breathed heavily and wondered what she was doing. Didn't she have enough problems already, without adding new ones? She still felt let down that their intimate moment was over, which surely didn't bode well for her faltering marriage.
"You must work out your relationship with Vidar." He let go of the long curl he'd been playing with.
"I know." She inhaled deeply and tried to collect her thoughts. Why did everything have to be so hard? Her feelings went in all directions, overwhelming her. Gabriel hadn't expressed himself in words, but it was implied that he wanted more from her than just friendship. He was reserved toward her, giving her time to sort out things with Vidar. She appreciated it, as she had never been one to explore other friendships while she was married. Being faithful had always been at the center of her marriage, but she realized it had been mostly on her part. Vidar had willingly helped himself to the treats offered. Not only once, but twice. And no one other than Vidar knew if there had been other women throughout the years. She shuddered at the thought and hastily concluded the morning meeting with Gabriel. It was not right to bring another man into this mess. It was her responsibility to fix the chaos Vidar had created.
***
Vidar stood at the top of a long ladder in the banquet hall. He'd been asked to change a darn spotlight in the ceiling. His knees were shaky, and he was not the least bit happy about climbing above the third step, which was his limit. He felt sweat trickling from his temples down his cheeks, annoying him even further. He couldn't let go of the ladder to dry his forehead either. The fear of falling was greater than the discomfort of sweat tickling his ears. Nor could he look down. He would most likely pass out and fall head first straight onto the parquet.
How he hated this job! It was in no way fulfilling, nor rewarding. He didn't get to use his brain cells, and whatever financial skills he possessed had disappeared with his title. He'd applied for close to twenty jobs these last weeks, to no avail. He hadn't even been called to an interview. It was strange. He had fifteen years' experience in finance and accounting and was one of the best on the market. Regrettably, the reference letter from his latest employer didn't reflect that. Today's practice called for no personal stuff to be included in this important certificate, which was supposed to be the admission ticket to his next job. It was no longer like before when reference letters were full of praise for his positive qualities and unique abilities. He suspected his former boss could have included something favorable if he'd wanted to, but he tried not to dwell on it. It was far too late to do anything about it now. It was what it was, and the results were discouraging.
Vidar finally managed to change the spotlight and slowly moved down the ladder, until he stood with both feet safely on the ground. He breathed out in relief and dried his forehead with the back of his hand. Hopefully, he would have a new job before the next bulb needed to be changed.
"Hello." Kitty entered the banquet hall and released the dog. King came bouncing toward him, full of joy. It was not reciprocated. Small animals were not his thing, and this creature was microscopic. It shouldn't be allowed to make dogs this tiny. He had told her so, but she had defended herself by saying the dog was a gift from Freddy and therefore impossible to get rid of. Bullshit. All she had to do was sell it. Dogs like that sold for loads of money. He had refrained from mentioning that.
"I know you feel dogs should be the size of a Labrador," Kitty said without sounding apologetic. King jumped about and wanted to be patted, but Vidar ignored him. "I only wanted to hear how you're doing."
"The job's dead boring and dangerous too, what with this ladder as high as the ceiling. But I guess you're referring to my marriage. We're fine. Everything's pointing in the right direction." He gave her an encouraging smile and hoped she would disappear as swiftly as she'd come.
"Oh? I got the impression from Miranda that you hardly see each other. You do a lot of training, and that's good. One must keep fit. But maybe you should do something together as well? You know, it won't be easy to forgive your antics, so it's about time to be creative if you want to keep her."
Vidar was rendered speechless. What did Kitty mean by that? He had asked for forgiveness already, what more did Miranda want? All he could do was to tell her he was sorry. He didn't want to lose her. They'd been together forever. The teens were almost grown-ups. Her job at the hotel made it possible to keep regular working hours. Soon they would be able to travel more often. It was ages since they'd gone on a trip anywhere. They hadn't been abroad for years. Perhaps he should surprise her with a proper vacation? He suddenly had a splendid idea.
"Kitty, I believe you're right. If I surprise Miranda with a fantastic trip, just the two of us, would you mind keeping an eye on the children while we're gone?"
Kitty brightened. "Sure, no problem. Mum's the word." She picked up King and left.
Vidar packed his belongings and rushed to his office to make reservations to an exotic place.
***
Miranda couldn't get Gabriel off her mind, and she was annoyed at herself. If she hadn't been weak at that moment in the office, her life would be much simpler now. How it was possible to dwell this long on a kiss or two, was beyond her. She was usually able to concentrate at work, but now her focus was another place altogether. It didn't make things better that she was sitting across from Vidar at the Flying Fish, waiting for the food they had ordered. He had surprised her with a dinner invitation and persuaded her to serve the children leftovers of yesterday's pizza. They had avoided loud complaints and could enjoy a romantic evening alone, Vidar had informed her with a convincing grin. She'd felt obliged to join him. He tried to make amends, it was just that everything was so confusing. But she had to make an honest attempt. Imagine if they managed to reconcile. It would be the best for everyone, and she would do her utmost to make it happen.
Dinner was served, but her appetite was conspicuous by its absence, leaving her staring down at the fish soup, before pulling herself together. She decided to savor the delicious food, laying a
ll trouble aside for the time being. Instead, she wanted to think about all the great things they'd experienced together through the years. She was fond of Vidar, even though he'd made an awful lot of stupid mistakes lately.
"Do you remember when we went to Santorini in Greece?" Vidar ate with a healthy appetite while looking at her. "Wasn't that a splendid trip?"
She smiled when thinking of the vacation they'd had on the Greek islands. They'd visited three of the most magnificent islands: Santorini, Mykonos, and Skopelos. The children had been big enough to want to do other things than just play on the beach and swim. It had been a marvelous time for them all.
"It must be three years ago," she said, drinking her white wine.
"It feels much longer. Since we don't have any plans for our summer vacation, I have a surprise for you." He eyed her excitedly.
Miranda hadn't given summer much thought yet. She wanted to see how things went at the hotel first. "What do you mean?"
"It's a secret. But I can reveal that we'll be gone for the last three weeks of July, just the two of us."
"Only us?" She sat staring at him, dismayed. She should be in high spirits but had conflicting feelings. Was she to be with Vidar for three whole weeks, all alone? It didn't feel uplifting in any way. If they were to spend this much time together, the relationship between them had to be perfect. It was a far cry from perfect. And what about Sofie and Noah? Shouldn't they get to go with them abroad? It would be a long summer if they were to stay at home for two months. And most likely boring too. None of them had fallen in love with Solvik yet. They tolerated living here because they didn't have a choice. But they longed for their friends in the capital.
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