“I think so. She didn’t say anything. She hung up on me.” Hsu-Ling walked to the next painting, and Lexa followed her.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Ah-Ma and the rest of the family are going to freak out when they hear about this. And about my mother’s part in it.” Hsu-Ling paused and looked at Lexa. “Did I say that right? Freak?”
Lexa laughed and nodded. She had just taught Hsu-Ling the word “freak” that weekend. “So the family doesn’t know yet?” Lexa stepped close to her sister when a group of tourists speaking French came up behind them.
“No. I’ll tell them in person when I get back to Taiwan.”
Lexa took Hsu-Ling’s arm and guided her away from the big tour group. They walked into another room, stopping now and then to study the paintings.
“Are you going to accept Pong’s will?” Hsu-Ling broke the silence.
“I don’t know. I’m thinking about it.” Lexa walked to a free bench and sat, because she could see Hsu-Ling was trying not to limp.
“It says you have to come back to Taiwan by a hundred days after his death.” Hsu-Ling sat next to her.
“It’s not enough he’s dictating what I have to do. Now he wants me to do it on his timeline.”
“I hate how he went about it. But you know, it’s Baba’s final prayer ceremony too. It might be a good thing. You could come say good-bye to Baba.”
Lexa looked at her sister with a frown. “Are you defending Pong?”
“No!” Hsu-Ling said, sitting up straight. “I’m just trying to see the good in all this. If Baba were still alive, then it would have meant a chance for you to go back to Taiwan and see each other again.”
“But now I’ll never get to know him, will I?” Lexa was surprised at the bitter tone in her voice. “In a way, it was Pong’s fault. He finally told Baba the truth, and the truth sent our father to his death.”
Lexa looked up when Hsu-Ling made a noise. She reached over and touched Hsu-Ling’s arm. “Are you okay?”
Hsu-Ling’s face was pale, and she took in a shuddering breath. “Yes. None of this was either of our faults. We just got caught in the mess made by our parents.”
Lexa stared at her. “I know it’s not our faults.”
Hsu-Ling shook her head. “Never mind. You want to head to the café? I’m starving.”
Lexa nodded. “It’s way past lunchtime.”
Once they’d gotten food and found a table, Lexa said, “Tell me about him.”
Hsu-Ling looked up from her ham and Gruyère cheese sandwich. “Who? Baba?”
At Lexa’s nod, Hsu-Ling gave a small smile. “He was the best. You know he always believed there was nothing wrong with me.”
“I want to know everything. The good things as well as the bad.”
“My mother was so upset about me being born with only one leg that she decided I had to be perfect in everything else to make up for it. She was always pushing me to do better, be better, be the best. But Baba always believed I was already the best. He never treated me as if I had a disability.” Hsu-Ling smiled as a memory came to her. “One time, I had a temper tantrum and threw a whole bag of my cousin’s marbles down the stairs in our building from the third floor. Baba was so mad. He made me crawl down the stairs and pick up every single one of those marbles by myself. He wouldn’t let Mama help me. He told her I had two good hands, and if I could throw them, then I could pick them up by myself.”
Lexa made a sound to indicate she was listening.
“He was always on my side,” Hsu-Ling said, and then took a sip of her water. “When I was a teenager, there was an English speech and drama contest. Twelve winners were chosen as diplomat envoys and got to travel to several countries to help teens interact, but also to promote Taiwan and everything it had to offer. I’d been studying English since I was little because of you, so I won one of the spots.”
“Your mother must have been so proud,” Lexa said.
“Yes. We were going to Malaysia that year. But one of the parents of a student who didn’t win was upset. She went to the Ministry of Education and presented a case that I shouldn’t go because of my leg. She argued that I wasn’t the best representation of the top teens from Taiwan, because of my disability.”
“What a bitch.”
“Bitch.” Hsu-Ling turned the word over in her mouth. “Yes, that sounds exactly like what she was. Baba was so mad. He said she was just jealous because her daughter is a lan yatou. A lazy head. He accused her of discrimination. Said they should be proud to have me on the trip, to show what courage and strength in the face of stupid people like that mother was like.”
Lexa laughed. “I wish I could have seen him in action.”
Hsu-Ling nodded. “I can still remember how that mother came up to me at school the next week and apologized. Baba made such a big stink that her daughter wouldn’t speak to her for weeks.”
Lexa smiled, but her heart ached. She hadn’t known that father.
“What about Uncle Pong?” Lexa asked. “Were you close to him? Was he a big part of your life?”
“Yes,” Hsu-Ling said. “I trusted him. He was like a second father to me.” Her face closed up, and she pressed her lips together. “I have to go to the bathroom.” She stood abruptly, almost tipping herself over. Without another word, she left the table, leaving Lexa to wonder what she’d said to upset Hsu-Ling.
36
The next night, Lexa and Maddie hurried down Lexington Avenue on their way to meet Hsu-Ling for dinner.
“Dad’s seeing Elise,” Maddie said. “Did you know? And why are you walking so fast?”
“Sorry.” Lexa slowed her pace, allowing Maddie to catch up. She’d been trying to time it to catch all the green lights, which sometimes meant running across the street before the lights changed. “Dad told you?”
Maddie nodded. “Did you know?” she asked again.
“I just found out. I saw them at the gym together last Thursday.”
“Our family is turning into the United Nations,” Maddie said as they dodged around a large group of tourists who’d stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to study a map and gape up at a building. “Even you’re dating someone who’s a quarter Asian.”
Lexa shot her a look. “I’m not dating him,” Lexa said. “We’re just having fun together.”
“Whatever. What do you think of Dad and Elise?”
“I don’t know. I can’t believe he’s dating one of my friends. She’s only eleven years younger than Dad. It’s probably good for him. He’s been so sad since Mom left him.”
“How long has he been seeing Elise?”
“Since my birthday party.”
“Really?” Lexa heard the surprise in Maddie’s voice. “I didn’t even see them together.”
“You were too busy avoiding Mom and being rude to Phoenix.”
“Oh.” Maddie was lagging behind again. “Doesn’t Elise have a kid or something?”
“Yes, a son who just graduated from college.”
“Are we going to end up with a stepbrother? That’s all you need, a stepbrother to add to your half sisters.”
“They just started seeing each other. I don’t think they’re thinking marriage.”
Maddie grabbed her elbow from behind. “Slow down! Why are you walking so fast?”
“Sorry.”
“It’s bad enough I have to have dinner with Hsu-Ling. Are you trying to kill me too?”
Lexa pointed to the four-inch heels Maddie was wearing. “If you weren’t wearing those shoes, you’d be able to keep up.”
“Whatever.’’
* * *
• • •
Dinner was awkward and stilted. Her two sisters sat, one on each side of her, like two stone lions flanking her. Neither had been enthused when Lexa had suggested this dinner. But it was Hsu-Lin
g’s last night in New York, and Lexa desperately wanted them to like each other.
Lexa talked, and Maddie and Hsu-Ling answered in monosyllables. She’d chosen this Italian restaurant in the low Sixties because it was close to Hsu-Ling’s hotel, and one of Maddie’s favorites. Hsu-Ling had wanted food she couldn’t get in Taiwan, and Lexa thought she’d be able to please both sisters.
But neither sister was happy. Maddie drummed her fingers on the table as if bored, and Hsu-Ling made a point of ignoring her, focusing her attention on Lexa. They hadn’t even gotten their entrees yet and Lexa was already wishing dinner were over.
“What are you wearing?” Lexa looked up to find Maddie staring at the necklace around her neck. “Is that a Lifesaver candy?”
Lexa reached up to finger the flat jade disc with a circular hole in the center hanging from a silver chain around her neck. She shot Maddie a look. “This is the bi necklace Hsu-Ling sent me for my high school graduation. Remember, Hsu-Ling?”
Her Taiwanese sister nodded. “Yes. Mama didn’t want me to send you a gift. But Baba helped me pick it out. The jade bi disc indicates someone of moral quality. It’s considered a lucky charm and was supposed to bring Lexa a happy life and protection again harm.”
Maddie wrinkled her nose. “Still looks like a green Lifesaver to me.”
“Maddie, grow up. You said the same thing all those years ago. I loved your present too.”
“What did she give you?” Hsu-Ling asked.
Lexa wondered if she’d imagined the competitive edge in Hsu-Ling’s voice.
“Maddie gave me a wooden jewelry box. She hand-painted a Chinese Zodiac dog on the lid. Because I was born in the year of the dog.”
“Hmm,” Hsu-Ling said.
Silence fell at the table again, and Lexa looked desperately between her two sisters as they picked at the platter of fried calamari on the table. She could hear laughter coming from neighboring tables, mixed with the clink of silverware against plates and the wonderful aroma of Italian spices and pizza baking in the stone oven, which had made her mouth water when they first walked in. But now her stomach was in knots, and she fished in her mind for some common ground between her sisters.
“Maddie was obsessed with Britney Spears that year. I found her listening to ‘Oops! . . . I Did It Again’ when I went to thank her for my gift.” Maddie had placed the small wrapped box in Lexa’s hand after making fun of the bi necklace and run off to their room.
“I was not obsessed with Britney Spears.”
“Yes you were. I remember finding you in our room listening to Britney sing about how she’s not that innocent. Hsu-Ling liked her too. I sent her all the Britney Spears CDs.”
“You did?” Hsu-Ling’s brows furrowed together. “I never got them.”
“Your bitch of a mother strikes again.” Maddie waved the calamari on her fork.
“Don’t call my mother a bitch.”
“I just call it like it is.” Maddie shrugged. “She’s a bitch and a Tiger Mom.”
Hsu-Ling didn’t answer, but Lexa could see by the way her eyes darkened that she was getting mad.
“She really was a Tiger Mom.” Lexa jumped in. “The way she used to make you practice the piano when you were so bad, and she always wanted you to study.”
Hsu-Ling’s mouth twitched. “I was pretty bad at the piano. She only let me stop because the piano teacher told her he’d pay my mother if only she would stop bringing me.”
Lexa laughed. “And you were born in the year of the tiger, so she really is a Tiger Mom.”
“Wait, you’re a tiger too?” Maddie asked. “I thought you were a year older than me.”
“She’s only six months older than you. She was born in February and you in August of the same year,” Lexa said. She turned back to Hsu-Ling. “Your mom was so hard on you.”
“I know. She had her heart set on me going to Taiwan University, the best university in Taiwan. She made me do so much buxi, cram school, and private tutors, to prepare. But I didn’t want to go to school in Taipei. I wanted to stay in Taichung and go to Chung Hsing University, which was ranked number one in Taichung.”
“But you ended up at Taiwan University?” Lexa asked.
“Yes.” Hsu-Ling nodded. “I begged and pleaded, and Baba tried too, but she wouldn’t budge. I got into Taiwan University and I was going.” Hsu-Ling shrugged. “In hindsight, I’m glad I did, but still, it was horrible at first.”
“What happened to you being a doctor?” Maddie looked interested, and Lexa held her breath, afraid to believe her sisters were actually having a conversation.
“I couldn’t cut it in medical school. I was fine with the books and studying, but the actual hands-on stuff . . .” Hsu-Ling shuddered. “After my first semester, I told her I wasn’t going back. I’d had enough. I’d done what she wanted all my life, but I didn’t want to be a doctor.” Hsu-Ling gave a small smile and picked up another piece of calamari. “She didn’t talk to me for three months.”
Lexa was starting to feel hopeful about her sisters getting along when Maddie spoke.
“You want to know what I think? I think you should say screw it to your Taiwanese family. You can’t let Pong dictate what you should do. Don’t take his money.”
Hsu-Ling stopped eating. “You’re right, Maddie. It’s not fair what Pong is asking of Lexa. And part of me even agrees with you. Maybe my mother deserves to lose her home. But not Ah-Ma and the rest of the family. They didn’t do anything.”
“You don’t care how it makes Lexa feel, after being shunned by your mother and father all these years? You just want her to go back and fix your family’s problem?” Maddie asked.
“I don’t expect her to fix anything. I think she should go back for herself.”
“You know what I find so sad?” Maddie turned to Lexa. “After that summer, you wanted nothing to do with your Taiwanese heritage. You threw yourself into being an American, except for two things. You kept going to Chinese school, and you started Kung Fu. As if you wanted to try to stay connected to your father somehow.”
“He missed her too. I’d find him looking at pictures of her.”
“And who put her in the position to not know her family?” Maddie asked.
Hsu-Ling flung up her hands, almost knocking over her glass of wine. “It was my mother, okay? My mother is responsible for every terrible thing that happened to Lexa.” Hsu-Ling’s voice rose, and Lexa could see people turning to look at them. “But I had no idea.”
Lexa broke in. “Guys, stop. Please. There’s no point rehashing the past. I just want to move forward and decide what to do.”
“She’s being such a laowai,” Hsu-Ling muttered. “She doesn’t understand our Taiwanese ways.”
“What did you call me?” Maddie glared.
“Calm down, Maddie.” Lexa held up a hand. “She just called you a foreigner.”
“Foreigner! She’s the foreign one here. You . . . you overachiever.”
Hsu-Ling gave her a look. “That’s your best comeback?”
Two waiters approached and placed their entrees in front of them, effectively shutting up both sisters. Lexa inhaled the garlicky aroma of the clams in white sauce and longed to dive into the food, forgetting about the tension that hung as thick as fog between her sisters.
After the waiter had grated fresh cheese over Maddie’s and Hsu-Ling’s chicken parmigiana (Lexa found it interesting that they’d both ordered the same thing), Maddie said, “Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you.”
Hsu-Ling raised her wineglass to Lexa. “On that, I actually agree with Maddie. I’m here for you too. Even if you decide not to accept Pong’s conditions, we will always be sisters. I finally found you again, and I’m not going to lose you.”
Lexa didn’t say anything, but she smiled into her linguine. For the rest of the meal, they stuck to light c
omments about the people around them and the time of Hsu-Ling’s flight the next day. When their dishes were taken, Lexa cleared her throat.
“What do you say we have a drink at the bar? To new beginnings?”
She waited, looking from Maddie to Hsu-Ling.
“Fine,” Maddie said. “We might as well. Mike has the kids. He can see how hard it is to do bedtime by himself.”
Hsu-Ling nodded, and after paying the bill, Lexa led the way to the bar. Maddie walked forward and grabbed two free stools. “You can have one of the seats, Hsu-Ling. Lexa and I can take turns on the other.”
“What, you think because of my leg I need to sit down?”
Lexa turned at the belligerent tone of Hsu-Ling’s voice. Maddie held up a hand. “Sheesh, calm down. I was just trying to be polite to our guest. It wasn’t anything about your leg.”
They glared at each other, and Lexa’s heart sank. She’d thought her sisters were starting to soften, but there they were at each other’s throats again.
“You both sit. I need to stretch my legs.” Lexa reached for the drinks menu and stood on Hsu-Ling’s right, with Maddie sitting on Hsu-Ling’s other side.
The waiter had just set down their drinks when she felt someone hovering behind her. She turned around to find a man of average height with light brown hair staring at her. There was nothing extraordinary about him except for his thick neck and beefy arms. They were enormous. Lexa knew the type—she saw them at the gym all the time. The gym rats who spent hours pumping iron together, bragging about how much they could bench and talking about the latest protein drink that jacked them up.
“Hey, little ladies. You sure are beautiful. Can my friend and I join you?” He jerked a thumb back at a man who was the exact opposite of him. Slight, leaning toward scrawny, and wearing wire-rimmed glasses, his friend raised his glass of beer at them. The big guy inserted himself between Lexa and Hsu-Ling’s chair. “Are you two sisters?” He gestured between Lexa and Hsu-Ling.
“Actually, they’re both my sisters.” Lexa’s voice was cold, leaving no room for doubt that his attention wasn’t wanted.
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