Tired of Death - Dungeon

by Neil Hartley

  “Great, just what I need,” said Dreth. He moved to stand in front of the woman, blocking her path.

  “Stand aside!” McVon commanded. “She’s mine! With her potential I can rule this mangy dungeon, and the world beyond too! Once her power is realized, there will be nothing I cannot do!” He threw his head back and laughed heartily, a sound which echoed around his chamber.

  “Good evil laugh though,” Percy said.

  “Absolutely,” agreed Cuthbert. “Much better than that last one. You remember? About fifty years ago? That anti-paladin.”

  “Oh yes, mind you I think…”

  “Quiet fools!” commanded Harvey, cutting the zombies off. “Cease your babbling. Move aside creature, and I will allow you your continued miserable existence.”

  “Oh, I’m sooo scared,” said Dreth, drawing Darkblood.

  “You cannot hope to stand against me. I will crush you like a bug!”

  “You and who’s army?” said Dreth.

  “How about this one?” Harvey made a gesture, and from the shadows emerged a large number of Cat people.

  “Touché!” said Cuthbert.

  Dreth looked from side to side, counting as the cat men slid forward, fangs glistening in the low light.

  “My friends!” Harvey raised a robed arm. “Kill this meddlesome meddler, bring me the woman!”

  “No.”

  “I shall…” Harvey did a double take at the cat man who had spoken. “What?”

  “I said no.” The half-feline who stepped forward was larger than most of the others, and clad in an altogether better class of loin cloth.

  “What do you mean ‘no’? What’s the meaning of this disobedience?”

  “It’s no longer your time wizard. Now is the time of the Cat-People. With this woman we shall rise up and assume our rightful position in society, that is to say - the rulers.”

  “Your rightful position is doing what I say!” screamed Harvey, flecks of spittle flying from his mouth.

  “No longer!”

  “You don’t know how to tap her power, or even what it is!”

  “We’re patient. We’ll find out.” The Cat leader dismissed the wizard and turned to Dreth. “We have no argument with you. Step away from the woman, and you and your friends will be allowed to proceed unharmed.”

  Dreth looked around and moved backwards, to stand next to M. There was a pause and then in a blur of motion he grabbed her and raised Darkblood, holding the sword against her throat. “No one move!”

  Cuthbert rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on! That has to be the corniest line anywhere!”

  “What would you suggest then?” Dreth glowered, keeping a close eye on Harvey and his cat buddies.

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Cuthbert said, thinking. “How about: Move and she gets it?”

  “That’s just as bad!” interjected Percy. “I was thinking more like: Stand still! Should thou move I will slay this innocent female!”

  “Oh, not bad,” Cuthbert said. “Try that one.”

  Dreth heaved a sigh and tried again. “Stand still! Should thou move I will…” He never finished the new improved line.

  There was a crash and the door to the chamber flew open. Four elves piled through, swords drawn. They had moved a good way into the room before they realized they weren’t alone, and skidded to a halt, standing back to back with weapons wavering to and fro.

  “What the fu…” one started to say before he, in turn, was cut off.

  All eyes turned to the door again, as about a dozen Drow raced in, intent on the prey in front of them. “There they are! Get themmmm…” The leader of the dark elves trailed off as he took in the scene.

  The cat people looked at the Drow. The Drow looked at Harvey. Harvey looked at Redthorne, who looked at Dreth. Dreth looked at the elves. Gut looked at everybody.

  There was silence for a moment.

  “Kill them all!!!” Harvey screamed and threw a fireball at Dreth, who ducked and parried with Darkblood at the same time.

  The Fireball bounced off the blade and careered into a cat person, who exploded in a mass of blood and singed fur.

  The room erupted as everyone attacked everyone else. Harvey threw spells about almost at random, causing several more of the felines to burst into flame before the leader leapt at him and forced him to defend himself with a staff, pulled seemingly from nowhere.

  The Elves spotted Redthorne and the baby, and tried to cut their way through to them, but were bogged down by Cat people responding to their attack.

  The Drow split up into two groups. One group tried to reach the elves, and the other attempted to reach the wizard. A random spell from Harvey hit one of them, neatly removing his head.

  One of the cat people swiped at Dreth, and he retaliated with a howling Darkblood, slicing the attacker down the middle, spilling intestines onto the floor in a pile of steaming offal. He whirled and pushed M toward the zombies, who were still sheltering behind Gut. “Here, take her! Get over to that exit!” He pointed at a small door in the corner.

  The zombies nodded and dragged M away, just as one of the cat people sprang at them. It landed on Gut, claws digging into the giant.

  Gut howled and went berserk, batting the creature across the room. It landed in the middle of the elves, which were in the center of a three way fight between the Drow and the Cat people.

  Elf and feline scattered as the giant flailed around madly, forcing the cat leader to jump out of the way of a frenzied swipe.

  Harvey took advantage of the distraction to run after the zombies, but he collided with Redthorne, who was throwing white light at a Drow sorceress. The dark elf mage was obviously not a master, but she was just powerful enough to fend off the worst of Redthorne’s spells and force the mage back, occasionally throwing a spell in turn.

  Harvey took one of these spells in the chest as he ran into Redthorne. It bounced off his wards leaving him unharmed, but knocked him to the floor in the process. Dreth cut at him as he passed, slicing into his side.

  McVon screamed as Darkblood pierced his skin, and threw a bolt of power in a reflex action. The purple energy bounced around the room and fried two of the Drow, including the sorceress, as well as several more cat-people before hitting Gut squarely in the back.

  The Giant roared, and kicked an elf across the chamber.

  Dreth reached the zombies, who were tugging frantically at the door. “Open the bloody thing!” He cried, chopping at a cat woman who was about to pounce at Redthorne. She yowled as Darkblood drank her essence greedily.

  “Allow me!” said Redthorne. He pointed his staff, and the door blew apart.

  “Good stuff,” said Percy, and dove down into the darkness beyond, followed by Dreth, Cuthbert, Sprat and M. Redthorne threw one parting pulse of white light at Harvey, who deflected it, before ducking down after them.

  Harvey screamed as he saw his prize getting away. He knocked a cat man away with one hand and pointed a finger with his other. A blast of fire erupted from the tip, to explode with enormous force above the doorway. Stone shards flew, cutting down several more cats and another Drow. The room shook with the force of the blast, and then, with a loud rumble, the ceiling collapsed.

  ~ * ~

  “Wooo yeah!” Cuthbert grinned as the party hurried down the small corridor that they found themselves in. “High five!” he said to Percy.

  “I think I lost a finger!” complained the other zombie.

  “High four then!”

  “Yeah!”

  “I’m glad you two enjoyed yourselves,” said Dreth dryly, wiping blood off his sword. “Is everybody all right?”

  Apart from Percy’s lost finger, it seemed the group had come through unscathed.

  “I need a rest though,” said Redthorne.

  “Let’s move a little distance away from that madhouse first,” said Dreth. He looked at M. “Er, sorry about tha
t back there. I was kind of at a loss what to do.”

  “So you thought you would try and cut my throat?” M replied.

  Dreth shrugged. “Seemed the way to go at the time.”

  M made a face, but said nothing.

  They hurried along the narrow tunnel, which was hewn from sandy brown rock with an uneven ceiling. Dreth and Redthorne had to duck on more than one occasion as the roof dipped down. The ground below them was loosely packed earth.

  The path wound back and forth, like a meandering stream, for a good period of time. Certainly long enough for Redthorne to complain again.

  “I want to get out of this passage first,” said Dreth. He looked ahead. “Is that light up there?”

  It was. The group approached cautiously as the route opened up, and they found themselves standing outside the entrance to a small cave in the side of a low hill. Dim light seemed to emanate from an unseen source all around them. The ground stretched away into the distance, covered in scraggly plants which hugged the earth, as if afraid to be seen.

  “We’re outside! Outside!” Percy bent down to touch the ground. “Out again, after all these years.”

  “I don’t know,” said Cuthbert. “Unless something radical has happened I don’t think this is outside.”

  “Of course it is,” argued the other zombie. “How could it not be? There are no walls! Look!” He pointed at the absence of such.

  “I’m with Cuthbert on this one,” said Dreth. “Unless things have been rearranged, ‘outside’ had a sun.”

  “Could be night,” said Percy stubbornly.

  “True, but even so, there are a few tell tale signs that suggest your theory is flawed.”

  “Like what?” Percy folded his arms.

  “Well,” Dreth pointed upwards. “Outside doesn’t have a bloody great rocky ceiling high above for a start. And this black sand doesn’t look very earthlike. We’re in some sort of massive underground cavern.”

  “No cavern. The Under Plains!” A new voice piped up.

  Dreth reached for his sword. “Who said that?”

  “It was I! I spake!”

  They looked around as a small skinny figure stepped out from behind a patch of dry, yellow brush.

  “A goblin? What are you doing here?” asked Cuthbert. “Lost are you?”

  “I’m a Black Goblin! I roam these plains. I know no master! I wander where I please.”

  “Ah, a local.” Dreth stepped forward. “Tell me, ah…”

  “Gerald,” the goblin said.

  “Tell me Gerald, where are we exactly?”

  “Thee truly knows not?”

  “I just said so didn’t I?”

  The Goblin puffed out his skinny chest. “Ware travelers! Thee standeth upon the Under Plain of DUME!” The small creature cackled and rubbed its hands together in maniacal fashion.

  “And what, pray tell,” asked Dreth, “is the Under Plain of Doom?”

  “Not Doom, DUME. D-U-M-E,” replied the goblin, spelling it out.

  “Of course, how silly of me,” Dreth stated, hanging on to his patience by a thread.

  “The Under Plain is a dark, dark place. Dark and black and dark.” The goblin hunched over, warming to his tale. “A vast plain of darkness, black darkness, ruled over by the Castle of Oversight, which towers above the dark black dark…”

  “Yes, yes. It’s very dark and black, we get the idea. Get on with it.” Dreth glared.

  Gerald scowled at being interrupted, but hurried on as Dreth tapped Darkblood meaningfully. “They say,” and here the creature paused and looked left and right, as if someone could be listening. “They say they reside there.”

  “They being…?” asked Cuthbert.

  “The rulers of course,” the goblin whispered it. “The Lords of the dungeon.”

  “Interesting.” Dreth scratched his chin. “And the Under Plain? No doubt it crawls with creatures both foul and depraved?”

  “Oooh, foul and depraved indeed. Good one.” The goblin stepped closer and pointed with a finger. “All around horrid creatures stalk the land, preying upon each other. Killing in ways too horrible to mention.” It shuddered. “Many dangerous things lurk here, oh yes they do.”

  “Well, now there’s one more,” said Dreth, standing a little straighter.

  “Is there anywhere safe to take a rest?” asked Redthorne, sitting down on a small hummock.

  “Safe? There be no safety in the black, dark and black Under Plains of Dume,” stated the goblin with some relish.

  Dreth reached down and picked the small creature up by its head. “Gerald, tell the man what he wants to hear.”

  The goblin made a face. “Fine. Be like that.” He pointed to the left. “Over yonder is the Black Desert, where they reside, or so it’s said. Never been there personally.”

  “Okay, not a big fan of that direction,” said Cuthbert. “What else do you have?”

  Gerald flailed about. “Very well. Put me down and I will tell you all.”

  Dreth dropped him with a thud. “Start talking,” he said, “or you’re going to see some doom alright. Black or otherwise.”

  The goblin scowled. “Bully,” he said.

  The Under Plains of Dume.

  A large figure stepped through a door that was hanging from its hinges, and stopped to survey the room beyond. Bodies lay strewn about the chamber. Several had been fried, though many bore sword wounds. Most were cat-people, though an Elven corpse was upside down against the far wall with an apparently broken neck. At least four Drow were interspersed amongst fallen stone pillars and chunks of granite ceiling.

  The Golem picked its way through the carnage, towards the center of the room. It stopped in front of the golden throne, looming over Harvey, who was slumped in the chair with his eyes closed. There was a large gash down his side, congealed blood around the wound appeared as a black stain against the colorful material of his robes.

  “Where did they go?” the Golem asked.

  “Eh? What? Oh it’s you. Bugger off, can’t you see I’m healing?”

  The large outline leaned forward, red eyes boring into the recumbent figure. “Tell me where they went.”

  “Or what? Are you threatening me? Hahahaha!” Harvey laughed. “Come on stony, just try it.”

  The Golem made a noise. If it had had emotions it would have been feeling angry. It raised a fist. “Tell me now, or I smash your moldy head into paste.”

  McVon sat up and sneered. “I don’t think so.”

  The fist moved, a blur as it plummeted down. Harvey reacted with equal speed, throwing his hand up, palm out. The fist met a blue wall of energy which stopped its flight cold. The two remained motionless for a long moment, each straining to best the other. The red eyes of the animation boring into the lifeless ones of the immortal wizard, as each put their strength into the contest.

  Finally the Golem stepped back. Harvey heaved a sigh and settled into his chair again. He looked at his dungeon counterpart for a moment, and then waved at a pile of rocks near the wall. “They went that way, through the rubble. Into the Under Plains.”

  The Golem looked at him for a second and nodded before turning away. “Next time,” it said.

  “Yeah, right,” replied Harvey. He watched the Golem start to dig through the collapsed ceiling, a calculating expression on his face. “Oh, you may want to tell your masters he had The Girl with him.”

  The animation stopped digging a moment and looked at him. “The girl?”

  The wizard nodded.

  The Golem thought about it for a moment, and then shrugged. “Not my problem, she doesn’t fall within my mission parameters.” It started digging again.

  Harvey smiled to himself and closed his eyes, letting the power of the throne pulse through him as he listened to the sound of burrowing. It had been a good day.

  ~ * ~

  Gerald swiveled
about. “Over that way, just beyond the bottomless pit, is the Dark Lake. The fetid waters of which lap up against the Goblin Forest where the reserves stay.”

  “Reserves?” Cuthbert cocked his head to one side.

  “Aye. Under the black…” Gerald glanced at Dreth and revised his words. “Under the trees of the Goblin forest is where the dungeon creatures wait until they are assigned for duty.”

  “A waiting area?” Dreth asked.

  “Why not? You don’t think the denizens just appear out of thin air do you?”

  “I never went there,” said Cuthbert, a tad bitterly.

  “You didn’t?” The goblin scratched his head, dislodging several small insects. “Come to think of it, there aren’t usually many undead there.”

  “Blatant discrimination,” huffed Percy.

  “Wait. You live in this place?” said Dreth. “I thought you roamed this land, acknowledging no master and all that.”

  “Yes, well in the night maybe, but I have to sleep somewhere don’t I? And I don’t acknowledge any master. The missus now, well she’s another matter.”

  “I see.” Dreth looked at Redthorne, who was sagging badly. “How far away is this forest of yours?”

  “You have to venture through the bla… er, none light sands, avoid the giant scorpions, then it’s just five minutes down the road, first on the left. Can’t miss it, bloody great big forest. Trees everywhere.”

  “How about you act as a guide?”

  “Sorry, I’m a bit busy…” Gerald looked up into the pointy end of Dreth’s sword. “Love to, love to. Let’s be off shall we? Mind that rock now, wouldn’t want you tripping up and skewering me would we?”

  Percy and Sprat helped Redthorne to his feet, and they all set off after the goblin, into the Under Plains of Dume.

  ~ * ~

  “Down here, it’s just ahead,” said Garret.

  Slice Gutgood peered along the passageway at the dim light coming from the entrance. “Good,” he said. “Go back to Harm, tell him we’ve found it. We’ll investigate.”

  “B…but Harm said to wait for him,” stammered Garret, who was rather cowardly for a Drow elf warrior.

  Slice knocked him to the ground with a backhanded swipe. In contrast to his two companions, he was large and muscular. Far more so than usual for one of his kind, and he had used the extra weight to help him bully and kill his way up to squad leader rank. He didn’t intend to stop there either. “Do as I say, or I’ll throw you in first,” he snarled.