Tired of Death - Dungeon

by Neil Hartley

  The little zombie shook his head. “Nufink,” he replied.

  “Leave the remains alone,” said Dreth, squatting down in a corner. “No telling where they’ve been.” He scratched at his arm.

  “What’s with you?” Cuthbert said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean with the scratching?”

  “I’m itching, that’s all.”

  “Oh, I see, and that’s usual for a skeleton is it?”

  “I…” Dreth paused. “Good point.”

  “Maybe you have fleas,” the zombie said brightly, jiggling the baby.

  “Don’t be foolish.”

  Cuthbert leaned closer to Dreth for a moment. “Hey,” he said. “I think you have some sort of growth!”

  “What? Where?” Dreth patted the top of his skull.

  “Where your hair used to be, and look, on your hands too!”

  Dreth examined his corpse for a moment. “So there is. It looks like…tissue? It is! I think my skin’s growing back!”

  “Look,” interrupted Percy from the back of the room. “There’s another door back here. Maybe there’ll be some treasure!” It swung open with a creak as he pushed at it. “Come on Sprat, let’s go explore eh?”

  “Be careful back there, don’t fall into any pits,” warned Dreth.

  “See Sprat,” said Percy, “Uncle does care.”

  “It’s just last time we ended up lugging a baby about with us,” muttered Dreth.

  “Ha, who’s lugging the baby?” said Cuthbert. He stuck his tongue out at the infant, who made a grab for it. “Oh no you don’t,” the zombie said. “That’s genuine elf tongue, hard to come by.”

  The baby gurgled.

  “Oh yes it is,” said the undead, wobbling his head about, and speaking in the high pitched tones people often use when talking to the very young. “Elf tongue it is it is. Oh yes indeed. Elfy welfy to…”

  “Please stop,” said Dreth. “There’s something very wrong about this scene.”

  Cuthbert was about to reply when there was a shout from the second door.

  “Now what?” said Dreth, standing up and reaching for his sword.

  He trotted towards the source of the noise, Cuthbert in tow, just in time to meet Percy hobbling quickly towards him, his clockwork leg hissing and whirring.

  “It’s him! I saw him for sure this time!” the zombie said.

  “Who?” asked Cuthbert. “Who did you see?” He looked at Sprat, who merely shrugged.

  “Him! Him! He’s come back! I’ve been a naughty boy!” Percy rambled on madly.

  “Shhh, you’ll wake the living,” said Dreth. “What are you babbling about? Pull yourself together!” He slapped the walking dead about the head, dislodging Percy’s jawbone.

  “Im! Ees ome ack!” Percy carried on, the lower half of his face hanging loose.

  “For the love of Dreg.” Dreth would have rolled his eyes if he had had any. He turned to Sprat instead. “What did you see in there?”

  “Nufink Uncle Dref,” replied the young zombie. “There was nufink at all.”

  “I think your friend has finally passed his ‘best use’ date,” said Dreth to Cuthbert. “Time for a new brain or something.” He turned around and went to sit back down again, scratching himself all the while.

  Cuthbert helped the other zombie put his face back together. “Calm down,” he said. “What did you see?”

  “Him. My father! He wanted to spank me!” said Percy. “He always spanked me when I was naughty.”

  “Your father?” exclaimed Cuthbert. “Isn’t that a little unlikely?”

  “I saw him. Twice now,” Percy reiterated, pointing behind him.

  “Come on,” said Cuthbert, leading the other zombie gently away. “Let’s go and sit down, I’ll get a rib for you to nibble on. It’s been a hard day for us all.”

  Cuthbert led his friend to another corner of the room, where they rummaged about in Dreth’s rather depleted traveling sack for a snack.

  Dreth shook his head as he watched them. ‘Zombies,’ he thought.

  Quiet descended once again, broken only by the occasional snore from the wizard. Dreth sat still, falling into the trance he used instead of sleep.

  “You betrayed me.”

  “What?” Dreth looked up. There was no one there. He shook his head. “I’m spending too much time with those zombies,” he muttered, and slowly fell back into his reverie.

  “Betrayed me and left me to die.”

  This time Dreth jumped to his feet. “Who said that?” he demanded.

  Percy looked across the room at him. “Did you see my father?”

  “No, but I think I’m getting as crazy as you. I’m going for a walk. Stay here.” Dreth picked up a torch and stalked off towards the doorway Percy had gone through earlier.

  The room beyond was almost identical to the one he had just vacated. A chamber made of dull gray stone blocks, empty except for old cobwebs in the dark corners.

  Dreth stood in the middle and waited.

  Sure enough, after a few minutes, there was movement in the shadows. He peered into the gloom, to see a tall thin female figure walk towards him. She was slim and certainly attractive, if you overlooked the blank holes where her eyes should have been. Wavy hair hung loose over her ghostly white dress. Pale thin legs terminated in bare feet that slid across the floor like cold gusts of wind.

  “Who are you?” asked Dreth.

  The woman stopped and smiled. “Don’t you recognize me?”

  Dreth tapped his jawbone with a skeletal finger. “You do seem somehow familiar. Was that you speaking before?”

  She moved closer, her translucent robe billowing about her as if an unfelt breeze was tugging at it. “Oh Dreth, I’ve waited so long for my revenge. We could have shared the power, but you were greedy, wanting it all.”

  Dreth nodded. “I don’t recall the situation, but it certainly sounds like me.”

  “You betrayed me. Me, your lover! You left me to die. And yet what good did it do you? Look at what you are now.” The figure laughed; a chill sound. “A remnant of your past self. You can’t even remember what you lost, can you? Can’t even remember how you, in turn, were betrayed? Oh, the irony of it is almost overwhelming.”

  The woman was quite close now, and Dreth could see her form was translucent, the dull stone of the room behind slightly visible through the ghostly body.

  “It would almost be worth letting you carry on like this, but I want vengeance!” She opened her mouth with a predatory hiss and lunged forward, her features suddenly becoming far more skeletal and corpse-like than a moment ago.

  Dreth jerked back as she swiped at him with her hand, leaving three burning scratches on his forearm.

  “Hey! Stop that!” He drew his sword and retreated several steps.

  “Your blade won’t help you now! It’s time for my revenge! Time to join me in this hellish limbo, to walk the earth, never knowing rest. You will wander through the ages with me. Doomed! Doomed with the knowledge there is no end. No end…”

  “Hey, Dreth! You in there?” The spirit’s monologue was interrupted by Cuthbert, poking his head around the door.

  Dreth glanced back at the zombie, then forward again. The ghost had vanished.

  “Cuthbert,” he said, sheathing Darkblood, “I never thought I’d be glad to see your decomposing face.”

  “Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” the undead replied, walking into the room and gazing about. “Were you talking to someone in here? I thought I heard voices.”

  Dreth looked at his arm, where three dull red scratches marred his regenerating flesh. “No,” he said. “You must have been mistaken. There was just me.”

  “Mmm. Well, I think we should get out of here. Percy won’t shut up about being a ‘bad boy’, and it’s beginning to get on my nerves, rotten and decomposing as they are.”
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  Dreth glanced back around the room. Was that a slight movement of white back there? He nodded. “I think, for once, you have the right of it. This area is a little too dead, even for me. Let’s go.”

  They moved back to the other room, and woke the wizard and Emerald. Dreth tied Smudge to Sprat as Percy was being a little erratic, jumping at shadows and mumbling about ‘how he didn’t want a spanking’.

  “I’m still tired,” complained Emerald, rubbing her eyes.

  “Yes, well you can sleep when you’re dead, which might not be such a long wait if we hang about here,” Dreth replied. “Smudge, which way?”

  The Fearie pointed down the corridor, and they moved swiftly off.

  Behind them the shadows twisted and writhed in fury.

  ~ * ~

  Harm took a deep breath and composed himself. Standing to one side, and slightly behind him, Primrose fidgeted.

  The double doors opened and the Drow priestess that had escorted them this far waved her hand. “You may enter,” she said.

  He nodded and strode forward, Primrose following several footsteps behind. The cavern was as he remembered it. Dark and warm. Webs hung from the ceiling, and there was a feeling of being… watched.

  He followed the black path through the chamber up to the dais steps, where he stopped and knelt.

  A shadowy form moved slightly within a giant cocoon on the platform. “SSsso, you return.” The voice was a soft whisper.

  “I have.”

  “Where issss the child?”

  “I have…” Harm paused. “It is within reach. I’ve returned to request more troops.”

  “And what became of the onesss you were assssigned?” Harm thought he could see long thin legs waving about in the mass of white.

  “They were, er, lost to various enemy forces. There was more resistance than anticipated.”

  “I sssssee. Lossst.” The voice paused for a moment. “That is mosssst careless of you commander.”

  “If you could provide us with further support…” Harm broke off.

  A large shape had scuttled forward with blinding speed. There was a sudden cold stabbing pain in his stomach. He looked down to see a thin black tube piercing his abdomen.

  “No…” he gasped.

  Silken cords dropped around him, binding his arms to his side and rendering him immobile. His insides bubbled as a cold shape was ejected from the tube and forced inside his body. Another soon followed, and then another.

  The webs tightened further, and he was lifted off the floor to be skillfully and smoothly manhandled up to the cavern roof, where unseen legs fastened him to the ceiling. Another sharp pain, and the tube pulled itself free from his body, leaving a dozen hard objects resting uncomfortably within his abdomen.

  “You appear to be no usssse asss a ssssquad leader. I’ve therefore assssigned you a new tassssk. You will keep my eggssss warm, until they hatch. Then you will provide them their firssst meal.”

  Harm tried to open his mouth to scream, but his body wouldn’t respond, paralyzed by the Black Queen’s poison.

  As the light faded he dimly heard it speaking again.

  “Now, Primrosssse isss it? What an interesssting name. I’ve a misssssion for you. I hope you have more successss than your predecesssssor…”

  ~ * ~

  Dreth pushed a black leaf out of the way and peered through the undergrowth. “Where?” he whispered to Smudge, who was now perched on his shoulder.

  “Over there,” the Fearie replied, nodding her head as her arms were still bound to her sides.

  Dreth leaned forward. “Ah yes, I see it now. It appears to be somewhat busy.”

  “Busy? That can’t be. We usually leave it open, to let victim… I mean visitors wander in.”

  “Well, there seems to be a gathering there now.” He tried to get a better view of the entrance to the Black Garden, a large archway carved into the dark rock of the cavern.

  They were crouched behind a bush with large dark leaves. Suspicious blood-red colored berries hung from the thin branches. Around them the underground garden stretched out into the gloom. Plants and trees, all of which were twisted and unhealthy looking in some way, covered the floor. Overhead a canopy of rotting foliage blocked the view of the roof. Various insects crawled around in the vegetation, attempting to eat each other.

  “You’re right,” Smudge said after a few moments of study.

  “What’s going on?” Percy appeared next to them.

  “I thought I told you to stay back with the others?” hissed Dreth.

  “I wanted to see,” complained the zombie, trying to get a better view.

  “Be quiet!” Dreth smacked his hand. “There’s a load of monsters guarding the gate, the Management must be looking for us.”

  “Do we know any of them?”

  Dreth looked again. “There are a load of goblins…”

  “Oh, better not let them see us, they aren’t going to let us pass,” said Percy.

  “Oh really? Would that be because of a certain consumed member of their royal family?” Dreth said sarcastically.

  Percy rolled his eyes. “You eat one small goblin princess and you never hear the last of it,” he complained. “She didn’t even taste that nice.”

  “There are some trolls too, though I don’t recognize any of them, and at least one beholder, but it isn’t Bob. Some kind of shadowy hooded figure as well. Probably a mage, to make sure we don’t get by with magic.” Dreth moved back into the cover of the stunted bush they were hiding behind. “I don’t suppose there’s another way out nearby? Some handy secret exit?” he asked Smudge.

  The small figure shook her head. “Nope, what you see is what you get,” she said.

  “Maybe we can go somewhere else,” Percy said.

  “Like where? Anyway, if this entrance is guarded, the others will be too. No, we’re just going to have to find a way through.” Dreth started moving carefully back through the dark plants, pushing aside small shrubs that snapped at him with flowers lined with teeth.

  “Well, I may have a suggestion,” Percy said.

  Dreth looked at him. “This should be good, go on.”

  Percy smiled. ”An ambush! A classic ambush,” he expounded, pounding one fist into the other hands’ palm. “We draw them into a trap and have at ‘em.”

  Cuthbert clapped his hands. “Great idea! We lure them in and Dreth hacks them apart. It’ll be fun, and we get to eat the losers.”

  Dreth scratched his re-growing skin and tried to scowl. “I’m not getting into a massive brawl again, at least until my parts have grown back properly. If you want to fight, go ahead.” He gestured towards the entrance.

  “Oh no. We’re only here for the ideas,” said Cuthbert, shaking his head.

  “And the body parts,” piped up Sprat.

  “How about you use the wand?” Emerald suggested. “Everyone seems to think it has enough power.”

  Dreth considered this. “Possibly,” he replied, “but I’d rather leave it for an emergency.”

  “Look, it’s easy,” Redthorne said, impatient now the goal was so close. “We set up a distraction and slip past whilst they are, er, distracted. They’re dungeon monsters right, how bright can they be?”

  “You’re treading on thin mice there wizard,” said Percy, trying to look menacing. “We’re dungeon monsters too you know.”

  “Exactly,” said the mage, crossing his arms.

  “Are you going to stand by and let him insult us like that?” the zombie complained to Dreth.

  “I think I’m with the wizard on this one,” Dreth replied. “And it’s ice, not mice.”

  “Bah, some dungeon guardian you are, siding with the enemy.” Percy kicked at the ground with his clockwork leg and looked sulky.

  “Hey! What about me?” asked Smudge. “I demand to be released. I don’t want to go outside, there are things out th
ere that will eat me.”

  “I’m not sure we can trust you,” said Dreth thoughtfully.

  “Come on Dreth, old buddy,” the Fearie said. “I had to do what those Drow said, they threatened my hive. You can understand that, can’t you?” Smudge batted tiny eyelashes at him. “Come on, be a sport, untie me. I won’t tell, honest.”

  “Weeell…” Dreth looked at her thoughtfully.

  ~ * ~

  Gurg picked his nose and examined the recovered contents. Deciding it wasn’t worth eating he wiped it on the back of Buggle.

  “Hey! Stop that!” his fellow goblin complained.

  “I’m bored!” Gurg answered by way of response. “Why do we have to be guarding this stupid place anyway?” He indicated the entrance. “It’s too close to outside, something might come along.”

  “Well, we won’t have to worry too much about that,” Buggle spat back. “Not with all these other guardians hanging about. Someone said that robe fellow was a lich, and that Beholder isn’t something I would want to mess with.”

  “Is not a lich. We don’t have any liches,” argued Gurg.

  “Do so.”

  “Don’t so.”

  “Do so.”

  “Don’t…”

  The philosophical debate was interrupted by a shout from a troll, who pointed at a small figure zipping through the air towards them.

  “Help me!” the flying form cried.

  “Help?” asked the troll.

  “They’re over there.” The Fearie pointed back towards a clump of rotting bushes some distance away.

  “Who are?” The troll was still catching up.

  “The ones you are after!” shouted Smudge, rolling her eyes. “I convinced them to let me loose. Hurry up! They’re getting away!”

  “Let’s us put an end to these traitorous vermin,” the cloaked figure, who might or might not have been a lich, hissed. It glided forward over the damp ground, heading towards the area indicated.

  “Finally,” Gurg said, picking up his spear, “some action!”

  The monsters charged forward, the Fearie directing the way. “Over there! Come on! Move faster!”

  The beholder swooped ahead, dodging branches. The trolls simply crashed through the undergrowth, and the maybe-lich seemed to fade in and out. The goblins had to jump over debris and around bushes much larger than they were, and hence started to fall behind.