“Unlike you guys, I don’t have any kids, so my sex life is phenomenal. But I bet things are getting a little stale at home with you guys. Maybe this would help.”
The guys all looked at each other and then at me. “What? Don’t look at me. I just started seeing Lola. We don’t have a problem with anything being stale.”
“Fine, if we’re going to do this right, then we need some help.” Sebastian pulled out his phone and closed his eyes, muttering, “I’m going to regret this,” as he pressed send and barked out some orders. He turned back to us and nodded, like he had just taken care of everything.
“What?” Jack asked. “Why did he nod? Are we getting replacements or something? Cause I could definitely go for that.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“This is not how I thought you were going to help,” I said to Gabe as we stood outside a male strip joint.
“It’s not that bad. Come on. It’ll give you inspiration.” Gabe patted me on the shoulder as he walked past and held the door open for us. I looked back at the others and slowly made my way inside. It was like any other strip joint, except there were on men on stage. And they were standing in their underwear. Totally not what I wanted to see.
“I think I’ve seen enough,” I nodded and turned for the door. Logan grabbed onto my arm and pulled me over to a booth right in the front of the fucking stage.
“If we’re going to figure out what the hell we’re doing, we’re going to have to get up close and personal.”
“I don’t want to be up close and personal. I’m a guy. I already know what his package looks like,” I muttered.
“If you guys want my help, this is what you need to do. You have to see them move so that you know what to do,” Gabe said.
“How do you know so much about this?” Cole asked.
“After I got out of the military, I worked in a strip club for a short time.” Gabe shrugged like it was no big deal. “I needed a job and it paid good money.”
“You…you did this?” Drew asked in disbelief.
“Yeah. It’s not all that bad. Girls shove money in your underwear-”
“What underwear?” Drew asked. “That dude doesn’t have anything but a scrap of fabric over his junk.”
“It’s not the skimpiest thing I’ve seen,” Gabe grinned.
“That’s not-what the hell did you get us into?” Drew asked Sebastian. “You just had to make a bet against Lola.”
“Hey, Gabriel.” A man in boxer briefs and a bow tie walked up to Gabe, giving him a hug and winked at the rest of us.
“Brandon, you’re looking good, man. Are we going to see your new routine today?”
“Yep. It’s all ready to go, but I could use some volunteers to help out.” Brandon looked at us expectantly.
“Help out with what?” Jack asked.
“My routine. Isn’t that why you guys came? To learn?” Brandon smiled.
“Wait. You want us to go up there?” Drew asked incredulously. “On the stage? In front of these people?”
“Yeah. How else are you going to get in the mood?”
“But we don’t have costumes or anything,” Logan said.
“You won’t need any,” Brandon grinned.
“You know, I think we’re just going to watch for now,” I said, clearing my throat uncomfortably. Even the thought of watching other men strip wasn’t something I wanted to do, but I would take that over getting up on stage any day.
We all sat down and waited for the show to start. First out was a man dancing in ripped jeans and a white suit coat. There was an upbeat song pulsing through the club.
“What is this music?” Logan asked. “It sounds more like he’s going to put on a dance routine than actually strip.”
The man’s hips were pulsing to the music and I couldn’t help but admire how the man moved. “You know, he’s really not that bad. Do you see that hip action?”
The man tore off his jacket and did some crazy thing with his abs. “Damn, that’s pretty fucking sexy. I need to learn that,” Jack said.
The man started unbuttoning his jeans and slowly yanked the zipper down. “This is weird, right?” Sebastian said. “Are we really going to sit here while some dude takes off his-whoa.” Sebastian’s eyes flew up as the man stood in front of us, his package on full display. “I was not expecting that. He’s fucking huge. How is he dancing in front of all of us with his dick swinging around like that?”
“Penis pump,” Drew said as he studied the man.
“Nah,” Cole said. “That shit doesn’t actually work. It’s gotta be Viagra or something.”
“I think you’re looking a little too closely,” I muttered in his ear.
“Have a lot of experience with penis pumps?” Jack asked Cole.
“I’ve tried a few. Tested the results. They don’t really work,” he shrugged.
“Did you write customer service and tell them you weren’t satisfied?” Sebastian joked.
“Believe me, she was more than satisfied and it had nothing to do with the pump.”
“Do you see the way he’s moving?” I looked over to see Sean completely mesmerized. “Do you think he fucks like that too?”
What the hell was going on with all of them? They were all watching the man like he had some kind of spell over them. “Guys, stop staring at the man’s dick.”
“He’s got a nice wax job,” Logan said in appreciation. “Maybe I should talk to him after the show. See where he goes.”
“Yeah, and then afterwards you could ask for a private show,” Sean suggested.
“You know, that’s not a bad idea,” Logan said, snapping his fingers. “I bet he could really show us-”
“Dude, I was fucking joking,” Sean shook his head.
The song came to a close and Brandon came on stage in his boxer briefs and tie. With the light shining on him, the briefs were completely see through. “You know, I think I’ve seen enough.” I stood, ready to leave, but Brandon pointed at me and suddenly a light was shining on me. I shook my head rapidly from side to side. This was not happening.
“We have some special guests tonight that need some help with some moves,” Brandon said into the microphone. “They have a little act to put on for their ladies and they need some pointers. How about we get them all up on stage? What do you think?”
Cheers erupted from the crowd and pretty soon, we were all being shuffled onto the stage. With the bright lights, we couldn’t really make out anyone in the crowd, which I guess was a blessing.
Nelly’s “Hot in Here” blared through the speakers and I tried to jump off the stage, but Brandon grabbed onto my arm and waved a female stripper over. She started running her hands over my body, sliding them up under my shirt. I looked up at the ceiling, really fucking uncomfortable with all this. It just felt wrong. I was with Lola and now I had a half naked woman dancing in front of me and rubbing her body against mine.
“Come on, sugar. Start moving. Move those sexy hips.”
I looked at the other guys for help, but they just shrugged. Her hands landed on my hips and I figured, what the hell? I was here. I might as well learn something. I let her guide me and show me how to move and then after a minute, she moved onto Jack. A few other women stepped up and started dancing with us on the stage, slowly peeling our clothes off. Even though it was uncomfortable to be undressed by another woman, I went with it because I wanted to be able to put on a good show for Lola.
The other guys looked just as uncomfortable, but by the time we were dancing in our underwear, we were all learning to let loose and go with it. That is, until the music stopped and the whole crowd started cheering us on. That’s when I looked up and saw all of my friends’ wives and my sort of girlfriend standing in front of the stage watching us.
“Oh shit,” Drew grumbled.
I quickly picked up my discarded pants and shirt and held them in front of my groin. Like that would somehow protect me from the wrath I was about to face. Jack was quickly stepping int
o his pants, a little more terrified of Harper and with good reason. She could lose her temper in a flash.
“Pretty girl, this is not what it looks like,” Jack swore. One of the strippers walked past him and ran a finger down his naked pecs.
“Come again, Sugar.” She grabbed onto his ass and squeezed, then did some kind of cat growl.
Harper crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Jack. It finally hit me to put my clothes back on when Lola quirked an eyebrow at me.
“Really, Jack? Because it looks like you were letting another woman strip you in front of a room full of people while she had her paws all over you.”
Jack shifted his head back and forth, weighing his answer. “Okay, it’s exactly the way it looks. But it was for a good reason.”
“Dude, just stop talking,” Sebastian muttered.
“I was trying to impress you,” Jack said quickly.
“With another woman?”
“Yes! I mean, no. Well, sort of. Shit. This is all coming out wrong.”
“Look,” Logan stepped forward, still in his boxers. “I’m gonna lay it out for you ladies so there’s no confusion. We didn’t know how to strip and we wanted to impress you. So, we came here, watched some men dance around naked. Got some tips on what looked good for waxing options. Then, we came up here, had some women undress us and put their hands on us, so that we could learn how to dance. It’s that simple.”
“You asshole,” Sean muttered. “That was not helpful.”
“And it made us sound fucking gay,” I said, elbowing him in the side.
The girls didn’t look impressed with Logan’s answer and it didn’t help that the strippers kept walking up to us, touching us. The only one that didn’t seem bothered by it was Lola. She just seemed to find it funny. When we finally got our shit together, we jumped off the stage and the guys left with their angry wives. I ran a hand along the back of my neck and I walked out with Lola.
“It really wasn’t what it looked like.”
“I know,” Lola grinned.
“Thank God. I didn’t want to have to try to explain that any more.”
“You don’t have to explain at all. So you like watching male strippers. Who doesn’t? I mean, we all have our proclivities. Who am I to judge?”
I stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Whoa. I never said I liked watching male strippers. I’m not into that shit. It was all about research.”
“Sure,” she grinned. “I totally believe you.”
“I’m serious, Lola. I’m not fucking gay and I don’t take pleasure in watching other guys strip.”
She set a placating hand on my arm. “Ryan, don’t get so worked up. I believe you,” she said sincerely, but then she giggled.
“You do not. You’re just saying that. You think I liked that.”
She chuckled and covered her mouth with her hand. “I swear,” she said around a laugh. “I completely believe you.”
“Why does everyone always think I’m gay? Is it the way I dress?”
We started walking to my truck and she looked me up and down. “I think you dress plenty masculine.”
“Good. Because I am fucking masculine. I work construction. I grunt when I’m working. I know how to use a hammer and saw with the best of them.”
“Right, and only straight men do that stuff.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“So, what are you saying?” She cocked her head to the side and bit her lip as she assessed me.
“I’m saying that I’m not gay! I don’t know what it is about me that people always assume that I’m batting for the other team.”
“Hmm. I see what you’re saying. Maybe you’re trying too hard. Maybe people assume that because of your haircut, you’re trying to look more masculine.”
“What’s wrong with my haircut?”
“Well, it’s got this handsome, charming…length to it. Some would say a style. But then you dress in jeans and t-shirts. Business suits at work. It could be perceived as…”
“As what?”
“Well, being a closet gay. You’re kind of metro-sexual.”
“Metro-what? What are you talking about? I’m only man-sexual.” She grinned and I realized how bad that sounded. “Not man, like I like men. Man-sexual meaning I am like other men. I like women. Just basic man.”
“Basic man,” she nodded her head. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and she laughed when it got all messed up.
“Shit, is it really too long? Does it look too styled? I mean, I just always wore it longer because I didn’t think I would look good with shorter hair.”
“Your hairstyle is fine, sweetie.”
“Sweetie?”
“Too much?” she winced.
“Crap.” I grabbed onto her hand and dragged her to my truck.
“Where are we going?”
“To chop off all my hair. I can’t be walking around looking like some douchebag. Why the fuck didn’t anyone tell me sooner?”
“Ryan, it’s really not that bad.”
“Sure, that’s why you assumed that I’m metro-sexual, whatever the fuck that even means.”
“It just means that you really care about your appearance. You know, manscaping and stuff.”
I threw the truck in drive, determined to find someplace that was open that could chop off all my hair. I’d have a fucking buzz cut if it meant that people stopped looking at me like I was gay.
“Ryan, you can just go home. Seriously, no one thinks you’re gay.”
“Everyone thinks I am. Harper said it herself a few years back. I just really thought she was fucking with me.”
“She was.”
“No, she wasn’t. Not if other people are saying it too.”
“I’m saying it because I’m fucking with you. Harper told me about that conversation.”
I pulled the truck over into a parking lot and threw the truck in park. “Explain.”
“Okay, Gabe called Maggie and told her that he was taking you all to a strip club for lessons. He didn’t want the women finding out some other way and then assuming the worst. Maggie got it in her head that we should all go fuck with you. When we got there and saw you guys watching the male strippers, Harper cracked a joke about how she knew you were gay all along. She told me the story and we all decide to fuck with you guys. Make you think that we were mad. Since we…I don’t know what we are. I didn’t want to go that route. So, I decided to fuck with you this way.”
I stared at her for a minute, unsure what to say about that. Leave it to Maggie to come up with something like that.
“So, you don’t think I’m gay?”
“Ryan, I know you’re not gay and I don’t think you look metro-sexual. Your hair isn’t too long and you don’t dress any way but masculine.”
“You’re sure?”
“I swear.”
I pulled her across the seat, into my lap and shoved my tongue into her mouth as I kissed her. My hands found her ass and gripped at the tight flesh that had me hardening quickly. I had to get out of this parking lot before I fucked her on the side of the road.
“For the record, you and I are together. Just thought I’d clarify that.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“Fuck, I can’t believe we’re doing this,” I said as we stood backstage at the venue Maggie had rented out for the night specifically for this show. I was sweating already in my fireman’s uniform and I wasn’t sure that it was from the heat of the costume. I was pretty sure I was really fucking close to having a panic attack.
“Relax, man. We got this,” Cole said reassuringly.
“Look on the bright side, it’s just our wives out there,” Sean said.
“Right,” I nodded. “Just all of my friend’s wives that are going to be watching me strip and see me completely naked. No pressure there.”
“It could be worse,” Jack said.
“How’s that?” I asked, curious as to what his answer could possibly be.
“There could be a whole room full of women out there,” he shrugged.
“That doesn’t really make me feel any better,” I muttered. The sirens at the beginning of Fire by The Ohio Players started. Screams filled the air and we all looked at one another. “That’s not just seven women,” I swallowed hard. The curtains pulled open and revealed a whole auditorium full of women that had their hands in the air and were screaming their heads off.
“Oh, fuck,” Sebastian said.
“Let’s do this,” Logan grinned, taking his first step on the stage, forcing us all to follow in his path. We started moving our hips from side to side once we were all lined up, thrusting our hips with each beat. Logan stepped forward, ripping open his fireman coat and shrugging off one shoulder as he leaned back and thrust his hips up toward the crowd. Each of us followed, doing similar moves. Sebastian was last and he stayed at the back of the stage, ripping his coat open and yanking it off as he rolled his hips and then tossed his coat into the crowd.
My coat slid down my arms and when it hit my fingers, I tossed it at Lola with a wink, feeling a little more confident than I really was. Sean jumped to the front of the stage, landing on his knees, leaning back and pulsing his cock up and down. The ladies were all clawing to get to the front of the stage to run their fingers down his abs. Drew and Jack stood behind Sean, pulling at their suspenders, yanking them slowly away from their bodies until they hung down by their pants. Logan, Cole, Sebastian, and I walked forward, with each step yanking at our own suspenders.
When we were all in a line, Sean stood and started flexing his abs, rocking his body to the beat of the music. The rest of us were grinding to the sexy beat, sweat dripping down us from the heat of the lights. My hands went to the sides of my pants and I ripped, tearing the pants from my body and flinging them out to Lola, who was screaming at me. Fuck, that look in her eyes was sexy.
I shook my hips, standing just in my black boxers, my cock growing hard as she watched me dance for her. I ignored the rest of the audience and locked my gaze on hers. I had to if I was going to have the nerve to do this. We turned our backs to the audience one at a time and tore our boxers from our bodies. Raising them over our heads, we swung them around as we wiggled our asses for the ladies. This was it.
Lola: A Reed Security Romance (Reed Security Series Book 8) Page 15
