"Hey, Doc Mac," Brody said to her with a smile when she glanced over to him.
Tessa tried to smile but it was too hard. "Brody."
Her eyes strayed to Sam. He gave a terse nod and walked out the door.
Brody tightened his lips. "Sorry, Doc," he said before following his boss out the door.
Tessa's eyes followed Sam across the street. She flinched when Connie touched her arm. Tessa looked to her expectantly.
"Your change, Tess." Connie held out her hand and gave her a sympathetic look.
Tessa nodded and took the change then picked up the bag, left the diner, and strolled down the street to her hospital with Rick quietly walking just behind her. A winter storm was moving in. Tessa glanced toward the Glaciers and saw the snow coming over them. The cold air had a snap to it with a promise of dropping temperatures. It was mid-December and it could bring a lot of snow. The winter usually brought the blues for some. Tessa snorted. She definitely had those and with the holidays nearly upon them, it was worse. With Sam so angry with her, she'd never hurt more. The thought of going on without him in her life was heartbreaking. They’d loved each other but it all fell apart because she’d lied. She knew it was inevitable that eventually she’d have to tell him. There was no other way they could have a future together. Not that she ever actually saw a real future with Sam, not as long as Ryan was still searching for her.
You should have stayed away. Now you both have broken hearts and it’s your fault!
Jodi sat behind the counter talking on the phone. After leaving Rick with his lunch, Tessa handed Jodi her bag with a burger in it, and then headed for her office. Closing the door behind her, she let the tears fall. She seriously hoped that once the New Year arrived, it would heal her broken heart.
A few minutes later, a shadow passed over her desk and she glanced up to see Katie Madison standing in the doorway.
“Hi, Katie,” she greeted her with as much of a smile as she could muster. She genuinely liked Katie.
Katie entered the room then stood in front of Tessa’s desk and narrowed her eyes at her.
“I can’t tell you how upset I am about all of this,” Katie said placing her hands on her hips.
“I am too—”
“Don’t give me that, Doctor. McGuire. I thought you were my friend. I thought you loved my brother—”
“I do, Katie,” Tessa said as she stood becoming annoyed that everyone seemed to be sticking their noses where they don’t belong.
“No, you don’t because if you truly loved him, you wouldn’t have hurt him. I do love my brother, and it kills me to see him this way and all because of you. He may not look like he’s hurting but I know him, and he is. How could you do this?”
Tessa watched as Katie’s hands clenched into fists. She raised her eyes to look at her.
“You have to believe me, Katie…I didn’t plan any of this. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him.”
“But yet you did,” Katie said, her tone carrying more than a hint of anger.
“Actually, it’s really none of your business, Katie.”
Katie reared back as if struck. “None of my business? Sam is my brother, and I thought you were my friend. It seems you fooled a lot of us, Doctor McGuire.”
“We are friends, Katie.”
“Wrong. We were friends. You don’t deserve someone as special as Sam. He’s too good for you.” She spun on her heel and strode from the room.
Tessa slumped back down into her chair and stared at the doorway. How many more friends would she lose over hurting Sam? A lot was her bet. This town loved Sam, just as much as she did.
Chapter Fifteen
Sam was working at his desk in his office when the phone rang. He answered since he could see that Betty Lou was on another line.
“Sheriff Garrett.”
“This is not over between us, Sheriff. Tess is my wife and she will be leaving with me,” Kirkland’s voice said in his ear.
Sam gripped the phone. “If she doesn’t want to leave and you take her, it will be against her will. Kidnapping is a federal offense, and I’d take great pleasure in arresting your ass.”
“You’d never find me, Garrett. You seriously need to find someone else’s wife to fuck, because mine will be leaving this podunk town.” Kirkland hung up.
“Son of a bitch!” Sam roared. He knew the bastard was goading him as if he wanted Sam to come after him. He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. This was one of the many reasons, he never got involved with married women—until Tessa.
Betty Lou appeared in the doorway. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Nothing, Betty Lou. Don’t worry about it.” Sam tried to smile but he couldn’t.
She stared at him until she finally sighed and walked away. Sam shook his head. This shit needed to end and end soon. He stood and pulled his coat on then placed his hat on his head. He walked to the back door.
“I’ll be back in a little while, Betty Lou,” he called out.
“All right, Sam.”
When he opened the back door, snow flurries hit him in the face and the cold air seeped into his lungs. He climbed into his SUV and drove to Tessa’s apartment. Once there, he stepped from the vehicle and walked to where Rick was sitting in his cruiser.
“Hey, Sam…everything okay?” Rick asked Sam after he let the window down.
“I’m going up to talk to Tessa. Go get some food. I’m sure you’re hungry.”
“How long will you be here? I’d love to go home and have dinner with my family.”
“Go ahead. I’ll stay with her until Paul comes on duty.”
Rick saluted and smiled then closed the window and minutes later, drove off toward home. Sam climbed the steps and knocked on the door. It opened almost immediately. Without a word, he strode in past her stopping in the middle of the living room and turning.
“Did you even look to see who was at the door?”
“Yes. I’m not stupid, Sam.”
Sam nodded as he glanced around the apartment. He’d always loved being here with her but now as he took in her standing there looking beautiful and sexy, his heart ached knowing he couldn’t touch her.
“Kirkland called me at the office. I also had a run-in with him a few days ago on Copper Ridge. He says you’re going home with him and it didn’t matter what I said. He’s determined to take you back.”
“I won’t go. I hate him. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to be married to him anymore. He doesn’t love me. He just hates to lose.”
“I can understand that. He’s a real prick.” Sam glanced away from her. “Could I get some coffee?”
“Where’s Rick?” Tessa asked him as she moved to make him coffee.
“I sent him away so I’ll stay until Paul gets here.” He removed his hat and coat then draped them over the back of a chair.
Tessa stared at him. “Don’t do me any favors, Sam Garrett.”
“That’s Sheriff Garrett, and it sure as hell isn’t a favor. I’m doing my job.”
He watched as she nodded and wiped a tear away as she moved around the small kitchen. Damn it. What the hell was he thinking by telling Rick to go and he’d stay? He knew Paul was due to be on watch in two hours. Sam could make it two hours. Couldn’t he? The thought of being here was slowly killing him. The smells were so familiar to him. Inhaling deeply, he took a seat on the sofa. Honeybee jumped up beside him, staring up at him so Sam stared back.
“I think she knows you’re the one who rescued her,” Tessa said from beside him as she handed him his coffee.
Sam took the cup from her, making sure not to touch her. “Thanks.” He looked back at the cat. “She’s grown a lot.”
Tessa sat in the chair across from him. “Yes. She’s a good kitten. It kills me when people do things like what happened to her. How is Whiskey doing?”
“Great. Bo loves her. They run together all the time.” Sam hated trying to make small talk.
“I’m
glad. I knew they’d get along.”
Sam nodded but didn’t say anything more. He took a sip of coffee and kept his eyes off her. Sipping the coffee reminded him of the first time he’d been here. The first time he’d kissed her. The night she should have told me, she was a married woman.
He couldn’t look at her. She was so beautiful and he loved her more than life but she’d cut his heart out with a lie.
“Sam? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Ryan. It was wrong of me not to trust you with it and when I finally did, I didn’t know how. I just wanted to forget him—”
“Forget him? He’s your husband, Tessa. You don’t just forget about a husband,” Sam growled, and then clenched his jaw so hard, he could feel the muscle twitching in his cheek.
“I know I hurt you. Things between us happened so fast. Yes, I should have told you from the beginning but…I didn’t know how, and after…well, I wanted to be with you so much.” She stood and moved closer to the sofa.
Sam quickly stood and set the cup down. “Don’t,” he said staring down at her but unable to move further away.
Tessa stepped closer to him and placed her hands on his chest. “I miss you so much, Sam.” She stood on her toes and kissed his jawline.
Sam closed his eyes, trying to block out the touch of her lips on his jaw because it was killing him. He clenched his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her. When she bit the lobe of his ear, he grabbed her arms and pushed her away.
“I said, don’t.” He moved away from her and stared at her. “I hate what you did to me. It’s all about trust, Tessa. How am I ever to trust you after this,” Sam said, his heart aching when he saw the tears glistening in her eyes.
“Sam…” She whispered his name while her eyes and body pleaded with him.
“Tessa, you lied to me. Maybe you were scared but you should’ve known you could trust me. I’ve never lied to you and I’ve told you I never would. I’m a strong man, Tessa, but not when it comes to you. I’m too weak because I love you, and I’m just going to have to work past that. The entire time we were together, you lied to me and you don’t seem to understand how it’s torn me apart.”
When she made a move toward him, he held his hand up, stopping her. He watched her take a deep breath while her eyes pleaded with him to forgive her. He wished he could but…
“I am so sorry. I’ll file for divorce, Sam. He knows where I am anyway so it doesn’t matter now. I don’t know if he’ll cause more trouble, but I’ll try. I’ll file as soon as possible,” she told him, taking another step forward.
Sam shook his head and stepped away from her. “It’s not that easy, Tessa. Like I said, it’s about trust. You didn’t trust me with your secret and now I don’t know if I can trust you with my heart.”
“I know I’ve lied. I led you to believe my name was something other than my own even though legally, it is mine now and I lied by omission by not telling you that I was married.” Tessa took a deep breath and he noticed she was shaking. “Everything else about me is true. The greatest truth being that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And I do trust you…I trust you with my life. I wish you could trust me again. I’m sorry, Sam. I know I keep saying it, but I am. It’s killing me that you don’t want to be with me anymore. I love you.” Tessa turned her back to him and he saw her shoulders shake. She was crying and his body wanted to go to her, wrap his arms around her, and comfort her but his brain and his heart told him not to.
“You had so many opportunities to tell me the truth. I know we never talked about the future but eventually, I would have and maybe then, you would have told me but you knew that any woman that I wanted forever had to be mine—one hundred per cent. You’re not even mine a small percentage because you’re legally bound to another man. Maybe if you would have explained it to me in the beginning, I could have helped you…something.” Sam thrust his fingers through his hair. “But you didn’t.” He swallowed hard. “I waited a long time for you to come into my life but it was all for nothing.”
He wished he knew for sure he could get over her but with her still here in town, it was going to be hard, and if he was truthful to himself, if she divorced tomorrow, he might want to try again. However, he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that.
A knock on the door startled them both. Sam quietly walked to the door and peered through the peephole. He blew out a breath when he saw Paul, and Sam silently thanked him for being early.
“I’ll be right out, Paul,” Sam called out through the closed door.
“Okay, I’ll be in the cruiser, Sam.” Paul’s voice came through the door, and then Sam heard him walk down the stairs. He picked up his hat and coat.
“Paul will watch over you tonight,” Sam said as he opened the door. As he shrugged his coat on, he looked back at her and it took every ounce of his willpower not to go to her. Slapping his hat onto his head, his heart broke just a little bit more when he saw tears streaming down her face.
“Goodbye, Tessa.” He walked out, closing the door behind him.
****
Tessa slumped to the floor in the middle of her living room, and wept. The one man she loved and wanted in her life, didn’t want her—not anymore. He couldn’t forgive her for lying to him. You’re so stupid, Tessa! You had the man you wanted to spend your life with and you screwed it up by lying to him.
If only she’d just stayed away from him but no, she couldn’t resist him. Fate had a warped sense of humor in that when she’d finally escaped a man who treated her like a possession and never like a woman, she encounters a man who makes her feel special. Was that what she first sensed about Sam and why she put up such an unfriendly barrier between them from the start? He was the man she was meant to be with and if it took her the rest of her life to make it up to him, she would. One thing was for certain, she was not leaving Clifton.
However, she was terrified of what Ryan was planning and she knew he was planning something. He’d hunted her down and was certainly just not going to walk away. He never let go of anything or anyone unless he wanted to or tired of it. It was never anyone else’s decision. It was his and his only. If he didn’t want her anymore, he’d make sure no one else would have her either. Ryan would make sure she disappeared. He was the type of man who tossed away things or people, like most people threw out the trash. If he didn’t want it, he made sure no one else had a chance to have it.
When she’d first discovered he had a mistress, she also found out just how possessive he was. He’d told her he’d never give her or his mistress up and if she ever thought of divorcing him, he’d make sure she’d regret it. Thinking she’d simply divorce him and disappear, she’d actually gone to see an attorney but once the man found out who her husband was, he refused to take the case. He warned her that no other attorney in Pennsylvania would take the case either. No one went against Ryan Kirkland—no one. Tessa knew then she had no choice but to run.
She’d left everything behind. She hadn’t seen her parents in over two years because they couldn’t take the chance that Ryan would have them followed, and find her. Tessa still didn’t know how he’d found her, and she didn’t really care anymore. All she cared about now was ridding him from her life. She’d get a divorce, stay in Clifton and run her hospital, and maybe—just maybe—win back Sam Garrett.
Pushing up from the floor, she walked to her bedroom and stood in the dark feeling exhausted but knowing she wouldn’t sleep. Her apartment still smelled of Sam’s aftershave.
Dear God! How can I go on without him? This is all my own fault. More tears fell as she curled up on the bed and sobbed.
Later, she went to stand in front of her window and gazed down at the street. Paul was in his cruiser keeping a watch over her. Tessa gasped when she saw Ryan standing against the lamppost across the street. The same lamppost she’d thought she’d seen someone standing against in the rain back in July. Now she knew it hadn’t been just her imagination that she’d felt someone watching
her at the festival or standing there that night. It most likely had been one of Ryan’s many minions.
Her thoughts drifted back to that evening last summer. Sam had been worried about her, worried enough, and caring enough, to check on her when she’d gone home early because she’d told him she was sick. Another lie! Well, she had felt somewhat ill, upset, nervous, scared, or whatever that night so it wasn’t an actual lie, but it hadn’t been the truth either. That had been the occasion of their first kiss and if she were able to go back in time…she’d still let him kiss her. Sam was such a wonderful man and sometimes, she even wondered if she’d fallen in love with him that first time he came to the hospital to welcome her to town. Maybe that was why she’d been so unfriendly.
As she peered out at Ryan, the snow came down heavily but he didn’t seem to mind it as he stood there staring up at her window. She wondered if she should alert Paul to his being there but before she could decide, she watched as he glanced away then back to her. Suddenly, he gave her a salute then he disappeared around the corner. A sheriff’s cruiser driving by told her why Ryan had walked off.
Dear God! Please make him go away and leave me alone. Please.
Taking a deep breath, she moved away from the window and took a seat on the sofa. She hoped no emergency calls came in, because although Paul would follow her, she feared Ryan would try something. The safest place she could be for now was right where she was—holed up in her apartment.
****
Later that night, Sam lay awake in his bed on his back with his hands clasped behind his head. He stared up at the ceiling fan whirling above him but he didn’t see it because his thoughts were with Tessa. He could have had her this afternoon. All he’d had to do was wrap his arms around her and they would have made love. The sex had always been good between them. The pull to her was strong, and knowing he’d never experience the same level of lovemaking with any other woman didn’t help. It was best if he just stayed away from her and ignored her any time he saw her.
Sam Men of Clifton, Montana Book 7 Page 19
