“I didn’t even think about it,” Troy admitted as he spun his keys absently.
“And based on what you told me about you and Oscar, I’m betting the two of you won’t be going together.”
Troy kept smiling but stopped spinning his keys. There was no way in hell he was going to risk asking Oscar to take him to the Gala. Sure, they might go, but they wouldn’t be together. It would have been the culmination of so many of his hopes and dreams if they could have shown up as a couple, but Oscar was ill at ease with Dean knowing about him, let alone the whole damn military base.
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s not going to happen,” Troy finally said.
“Well, you two are free to come out with me and Sloane tonight if you want,” Dean offered.
Troy looked down at his hands and chuckled. “That’s probably not going to happen either. He’s not even big on you knowing about us, so I don’t think he’s going to want to go to a gay club anytime soon.”
Dean looked him over. “Hey, don’t worry about it, okay?”
Troy shook his head. “I’m not.”
And he wasn’t, he refused. He had Oscar back in his life again, and not just as an awkward friend who pretended like they hadn’t been crazy about one another. Hell, still were crazy about one another. No, Oscar was with him again, loving him, holding him, and spending most nights in his bed. Troy wasn’t going to push Oscar as he’d done in the past. If Oscar wanted to come out, he had to do it in his own time.
“Must be hard,” Dean said.
“What? Loving someone and having to keep it a secret? Yeah, but I have him,” Troy said.
“Just give him time. He’s been through a lot lately, and from the sounds of it, coming out is a huge deal for him, more than it was for the likes of you and me. He’s probably freaked out.”
Troy laughed. “Yeah, you could say that, and he’s actually said it.”
“Well, take it from someone who knows a bit about having patience, just wait, and be there for him. Right now, I think you’re doing the right thing just loving him.”
Troy winked. “You can bet your ass that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m not letting him go without a fight.”
Dean turned back to his computer with a chuckle. “Then go home and see your man.”
“Yes, sir.”
Troy stopped outside Oscar’s apartment door when he realized there were noises coming from the other side. He strained his ears, listening carefully, and realized he could hear both music and the sound of something sizzling. He slid his key into the lock and opened the door slowly, smiling as he smelled whatever was cooking.
Taking off his boots, he made his way through the dining room and into the kitchen, where Oscar stood at the stove. His back was toward Troy, and he was quietly singing along to the slow, melodic tune coming from the Bluetooth speaker set on the counter. Troy crossed his arms, leaning against the doorway as he soaked up the sight.
Troy had been so pleased when Oscar had given him a key to his apartment, but not nearly as pleased as he was as he stood in the doorway. The sight of Oscar at home in his apartment, comfortable enough to sing quietly while he cooked, was a balm to the nervous feeling Troy had been left with after talking to Dean. Maybe every problem he and Oscar had in the past wasn’t completely resolved, but by God, seeing Oscar so relaxed and happy was enough for Troy.
Oscar turned toward the fridge, freezing when he spotted Troy in the doorway. A moment later, his shoulders eased, and he scowled.
“I hate when you sneak around,” Oscar grumbled as he opened the fridge.
Troy chuckled, stepping forward to lean over the open fridge door. “It’s not really sneaking. I walked in.”
“It is when you’re not making any noise and scare the shit out of me,” Oscar said.
Troy watched him, waiting until Oscar stood up to steal a kiss from him. Despite his seemingly foul attitude, Oscar returned the kiss, and Troy would even swear he felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward. Troy grinned as Oscar backed up toward the stove again, knowing that despite his boyfriend’s serious face, Troy had won that little battle.
“What’re you making?” Troy asked.
“Burgers and they’re about done, so get yourself comfortable so you can eat,” Oscar told him over his shoulder.
Troy wasn’t going to ignore that order, and he skipped off to the bathroom with the sound of Oscar’s cooking echoing down the hallway. True to his word, by the time he returned, Oscar had finished preparing the meal. Troy was glad he had what many like to refer to as a ‘bottomless stomach’ since Oscar tended to make his meals monstrous. The burger was several layers thick, dominated primarily by the thick patty in the center, and heaped with toppings. On the side were Oscar’s secret fries, which were just frozen fries but topped with a combination of spices that Oscar point blank refused to share. It didn’t matter much to Troy, though, as he was content to have Oscar make them so he could devour them by the handful.
Troy plopped himself down at the table. “Didn’t realize how hungry I was till I walked in the door.”
Oscar smirked. “You’re always hungry.”
“Not true, sometimes I’m thirsty, or sleepy, or horny.”
“Yeah, you’re thirsty, alright.”
Troy stuck his tongue out to show his disdain but distracted himself by digging into his meal. He’d be more than happy to trade verbal blows with Oscar after he had a full stomach. Plus, it would be a total waste to let the delicious meal Oscar had made for him go to waste by getting cold.
Once the meal was gulped down and heartily enjoyed, Troy helped Oscar clean up the mess from cooking. Generally speaking, Troy was content to let the dishes sit for however long it took him to get around to them, but Oscar was a little more fastidious.
“You can go sit down and rest,” Oscar told him as he scrubbed at the pan he’d used.
Troy snorted as he continued to wipe down the stove. “And leave you to wash everything? I’d never hear the end of it.”
“You act like I nag you.”
“No, but you do like to remind me that I’m not the cleanest of people.”
“This is the point where I remind you that you never got around to putting back the boxes of unused stuff after dragging them out earlier this week.”
Troy resisted the urge to glance out into the hallway, where a stack of boxes still waited for him to drag them down to the basement. He also wasn’t going to give Oscar the satisfaction of knowing that he was right, either. Instead, he contented himself with watching Oscar’s arm muscles flex as he held the pan down on the bottom of the sink, scrubbing it vigorously.
He honestly didn’t think he’d ever get tired of seeing him do just about anything.
With everything scrubbed and clean, they made their way to the living room and plopped down on the couch. Oscar managed to beat Troy to the remote control, much to his grumbling as the larger man cycled through the channels. As Troy waited for Oscar to pick something to watch, he found his mind going back to the conversation with Dean. He glanced toward Oscar, chewing his bottom lip before finally deciding to speak up.
“So, are you going to the Gala?” Troy asked, hoping he sounded casual.
Oscar frowned. “Gala?”
“The Fort Dale Gala, you know, the one coming up?”
“Oh, right, that.”
Troy snorted. “You forgot, didn’t you?”
Oscar scrunched up his nose. “Not exactly my kind of thing, you know.”
No, he supposed it wasn’t. Despite his brother having found his place among dignified professionals, Oscar had always been content to be among the more blue-collar element of life. It was probably the reason Oscar had stuck with Infantry for so long rather than going for any off the field officer role or making a lateral move into a safer position.
Oscar hesitated a moment before looking askance at Troy. “Why, you going?”
Troy shrugged, keeping his eyes on the TV. “I wa
s thinking about it. Never been to one before, so I figured I’d see what all the fuss was about.”
Another pause. “Do you want me to go?”
Troy hesitated before answering. “I mean, I wouldn’t pass up the chance to see you all dressed up.”
He knew there was no way Oscar didn’t know what was going on in Troy’s head. The unspoken, possible argument about going together as a couple sat between them. Troy, however, reminded himself, not only that he’d just got Oscar back in his life and to drive him away at this juncture would be stupid, but of Dean’s advice to be patient.
Troy finally looked over at Oscar and grinned. “If only because it would give me the chance to take them off later.”
There was still a little discomfort in Oscar’s eyes, but he smirked. “I should have known that’s what it was all along.”
Troy sidled up, leaning against him with an approving nod. He would have liked to see Oscar dressed up, his hand around Troy’s waist, while they danced to some cheesy song, as well. Maybe even find Oscar’s hand stealing around him during a conversation with other people, and stealing a kiss.
A man could dream.
Oscar grunted, wrapping his arm around Troy and squeezing him. “Maybe I’ll go.”
Contenting himself to lay there for the rest of the night, Troy curled up against Oscar’s side and made himself comfortable. Oscar’s arm wrapped around him was the extra cherry on the sundae that made for a wonderful night. There was a serenity to simply watching TV with Oscar, with barely a word spared between them as the hours ticked by.
It was just as good when they finally made it to bed, calling it an early night. Of course, it wasn’t quite that peaceful when they curled up in bed together. Hands began to roam, and kisses were shared, and before long, Troy was pinned beneath the bulk of Oscar’s body as he drove into him until they both cried out in shared pleasure.
Sweaty, fulfilled, and happy with his life, Troy pushed himself up against Oscar’s body and lay there comfortably, listening to the man’s breathing as it began to slow. The rhythm of his lover’s breath soothed the last ragged edges of Troy’s thoughts and dragged him slowly into the abyss of sleep. Cozy and warm, Troy slept peacefully, drifting between pleasant dreams and comforting nothingness.
That was until the sounds of movement brought his consciousness back to the surface. Grunting, he lifted his head to peer around the room curiously. Beside him, Oscar continued to sleep, his breathing giving way to faint snores. Troy smiled as he watched Oscar’s peaceful face in the dim light, knowing the man slept heavily, especially now that he was on meds.
Just as he lay his head down to fall back asleep, he heard something again. Troy’s head came up, sleep falling from him rapidly as he realized someone was in the house. Worse, that someone was coming down the hallway toward the bedroom with what were now quick and purposeful steps.
Troy nudged Oscar as he sat up. “Oscar! Someone’s in the house.”
His hissed warning brought Oscar out of a dead sleep with a speed that scared the hell out of Troy. Oscar’s eyes were wide, and he leaped out of bed as the bedroom door swung wide open. A man stepped into the room, his arms raised, and his mouth opening as though he were getting ready to shout. The man’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of a very naked and very pissed Oscar standing beside the bed, his body taut and ready for a fight.
“Oh, shit,” the man said, turning to look at Troy, who was also sliding out of bed.
“What the fuck?” Troy asked.
“Wow, okay, um,” the man began before turning and walking out of the room slowly, like a man both lost and confused.
“Um,” Troy began, turning to Oscar in bewilderment.
Whatever he was getting ready to say died in his throat as he caught the sight of Oscar’s expression. All the fight had drained out of Oscar and with startling swiftness. Oscar’s shoulders had fallen, his hand limp at his side as he stared with huge eyes at the door.
“Oscar?” Troy asked with a sense of foreboding.
“That...that was…” Oscar began, words tripping over themselves, and the sentence falling flat before it could begin.
Troy frowned, looking at the doorway and wracking his brain for an explanation of what had just happened. A stranger in the house was bewildering enough, but he had a strong feeling the man was not a stranger since Oscar wasn’t chasing him down. In fact, there had been something eerily familiar about the strange man who’d stood dumbfounded in Oscar’s doorway. Something familiar about the shape and strength of his jaw, the dark pitch of his eyes, and the shape of his nose.
Troy’s mouth fell open as he realized what Oscar was trying to say.
“That was your brother.”
14
Oscar
Oh fuck.
Oh shit.
Goddammit.
It was the culmination of his worst nightmare, given form and walking straight through his bedroom door. Oscar felt numb as he pulled on his clothes and tried desperately to think of what he was supposed to say or do. Gabriel wasn’t supposed to be flying in until the next day, and Oscar had no way of knowing his brother was going to arrive early. Never before had he regretted giving someone free access to his house like he had by shipping his brother a spare key, just in case.
Behind him, Troy sat on the bed, uncharacteristically quiet as he stared down at his lap. Oscar stared at him, wondering what the hell he could say to the man that would ease the look of numb horror on his face. Considering he was no better off, Oscar just shook his head, buttoned his pants and faced the door.
He hadn’t heard the front door open or close, so he imagined Gabriel was waiting for him in the living room. Knowing he couldn’t hide away in the bedroom all morning, Oscar took a deep breath and forced himself to open the door and walk into the hallway. Oscar had always appreciated silence in his home, a nice contrast to the noise and chaos of working in the field. Yet as he walked the length of the hall, stopping at the entrance to the living room, he found the silence oppressive, weighing down on him until he felt he couldn’t breathe.
Sure enough, his brother was waiting for him on the couch. In a position that was eerily like the one Troy had been in, Gabriel sat at the edge of the couch, hands clasped in his lap, and staring at them intently. Oscar’s throat tightened when his brother didn’t look up as he entered the room, and he had to force his hand to clench his shirt so he wouldn’t feel his fingers shaking as he walked in.
“Hey,” was all Oscar could manage.
It was then that Gabriel finally looked up, a strange distant look in his eyes as he gazed at Oscar. Chest squeezing, Oscar slowly stepped around his armchair and sat down slowly, trying to make his movements measured and easy. The more he kept everything about his body under control, the more he could exert control over his emotions, he reminded himself.
“So,” Gabriel began, his mouth flapping uselessly before closing helplessly.
Oscar continued to stare back at his brother, unsure what to say. From the very first time Oscar realized he had zero interest in women, he’d done everything he could to keep it a secret. His brother and he had both grown up in the same neighborhood, known a lot of the same people, which meant they’d both learned some of the same habits, and also that if one person in that network knew something, there was a good chance everyone would know. It had only grown worse after their parents had died, and all Oscar had left was his brother. His greatest fear had been losing his brother, both to death and by any other means.
And now he’d walked in on him naked in bed with Troy.
Gabriel looked up again, letting out a deep sigh. “How long?”
“How long what?” Oscar asked.
“Oscar.”
“I mean it.”
Gabriel frowned, his brother’s cheeks darkening. “How long have you known you were into guys? Because the last I checked, you were dating women.”
Oscar winced. “Well, I was dating women the last time you checked. I just�
��”
Gabriel leaned back, opening his hands. “Just, what, not actually dating them, just pretending?”
“Yeah, something like that,” Oscar muttered.
It’s not like he hadn’t tried to be with the girls he’d dated. Oscar had gone through the motions, taking them out, being intimate with them when he could bring himself to do it, just about anything he could think of to give the illusion he was interested in them. At the end of the day, though, Oscar had never felt aroused by the sight of a woman’s body, never felt that thrill of pleasure when he felt their skin brush against him. But the first time he’d ever had a man in his bed, Oscar had realized just what he’d been missing all along.
“So this has been going on for a while then, this isn’t just...some new thing that came up recently,” Gabriel continued.
“No,” Oscar said softly.
Gabriel let out a brittle laugh. “You...that’s what the phone call was about, wasn’t it? You weren’t talking about some girl, were you? You were talking about him.”
Oscar closed his eyes. “Yes.”
“The same one you were involved with years ago. The one you dated for like a year, and were apparently, maybe in love with? So you were involved with this guy, head over heels for him, and you kept that from me? You kept all this from me. Seriously Oscar?”
His brother’s rising voice, both in volume and pitch, had Oscar cringing against the back of the chair. What little hope he might have had about this conversation not going straight to hell, was dwindling to nothing as his brother continued.
“Fuck’s sake Oscar. I’ve known you your whole life, I mean hell, I raised you. And you didn’t think at any point that this was something you should have brought up? I get not talking about what happened to you while you were out in the desert, I get keeping the blood and death and pain to yourself, but shit Oscar.”
Here We Go Again Page 13
