by T S McKinney
“Nope. It’s a surprise,” I answered. I flung my car door open and reached into the backseat to grab the cat carrier and a piece of my luggage. My cat really was an angel, but Baker had scared her half to death. She’d been a feral cat that had taken me almost a year to allow me to touch her. What could I say? She was picky on who she let stroke her gorgeous fur. I’d already talked to Eli about her, and he was fine with me having a cat. My heart soared as I lugged the carrier and my luggage toward the elevator. Baker, on the other hand, hadn’t moved an inch. Figured.
“What? Aren’t you going to help me carry anything up?”
His feet shuffled. “Ari, you know I love ya, but I’m not sure this is the best thing right now. Moving in together is something you and Eli need to discuss. One of the most frustrating things I found about Seth was that he assumed things that I wanted instead of asking me. Every damn time he presumed, it never ended well. Don’t you think moving in together should be something you and Eli discuss before we move in all your belongings and your evil, devil-serving, cat?”
Laughing at his reservations, I said, “Grab a couple of suitcases, Baker. Trust me, I’m not just moving my shit into Eli’s personal space without his permission. He asked me last night, but I declined because I was a scared fool. I didn’t exactly tell him no, but I most certainly didn’t say yes. I was afraid of committing because of my own insecurities. That bullshit is behind me now. I realize that I’ve been the one with the problem. I lied to Eli about my age and then on the boat, I lied about my sexual experience…or at least led him to believe something different than reality. That shit is behind me now. When I want something, I’m going after it…and I want Eli.” My eyes narrowed at him. “Now, pick up some luggage and help me. I’d like to be settled in with my clothing, at least, before Eli gets home.”
Baker shrugged, like he still held reservations about what I’d planned, but grabbed a couple of pieces of luggage and quickly joined me at the elevator. Once he was there, I punched in the penthouse code, the side that belonged to Eli, and waited.
“Well, at least I feel better that he gave you the code to the parking garage and to his penthouse,” Baker said. “I know you guys obviously got off on the wrong foot and I don’t want to be a part of anything that might add to that messy sludge.” He laughed. “It hasn’t been that long since Seth and I nearly parted ways because of a stupid misunderstanding. Communication is important…and obviously you guys are much better at it than Seth and I.”
Uh oh. Baker’s words made me cringe. Shit…was I screwing up? Surely not. Eli had asked me to move in with him. I knew he wanted me. Eli was the honesty star while I was the watch-me-lie star. As I stepped onto the elevator, I assured myself that this was the right decision—that Eli wanted me with him as badly I was wanted to be with him. What could go wrong?
As the elevator doors slid closed, I admitted, “Well…he didn’t exactly give me the code to the parking garage or to his suite. I hacked them on the computer—that’s what I’m good at, right?” Misgivings kept bombarding me as Baker studied me quietly…and the floors clicked by. Eli’s penthouse was on the fifteenth floor. From what I could hack in to, I knew that Eli’s apartment was on the west side and Sam’s was on the east side. The top of the building held a huge pool and entertainment area that they both shared. It was enclosed to keep them warm since Colorado rarely had many sunny days meant for swimming and sunbathing. I wasn’t good at swimming, but I wouldn’t drown if tossed into a pool. Maybe Eli could teach me?
“Shit, Ari, that’s not cool. This is a huge step…one you guys both need to discuss and agree upon. I know the one thing that pissed me off most about Seth was that he assumed he knew exactly what I wanted and needed instead of asking me. I’m getting a bad feeling about this. When you asked how tight my leash was, I assumed you meant that I would be getting into something that might earn me a few love pats from my man—not a full-on punishment for misbehavior. When I break his rules, I like it to be something fun and playful—not something dangerous.”
“Calm down, Baker. When have I ever led you down the wrong path?”
Plenty times, but I knew Baker wouldn’t mention any of them. He was too sweet to throw anything back into my face.
“Many times. More times than I can count.”
Well, so much for him being too sweet.
He pulled out his cell and frowned. “Seth is pissed. He demands to know where we are and what we’re doing.”
He started texting straight away, answering the man he loved—his husband. Unfortunately, his honesty was going to ruin my surprise. Before he could stop me, I snagged his cell away and tucked it into my pants pocket. “Trust me on this, Baker. I’m not making a mistake. Eli loves me, and I love him. All our misunderstandings in the past have been based on my dishonesty. That shit is behind me now. I’m going to give Eli the same respect he’s always given me.” I grinned as the elevator doors slid open. “Me loves him, Baker! True love. I know I talked trash about him, but I didn’t mean it. It’s always been about Eli…nobody else. Ever.”
After snagging a couple pieces of my luggage, Baker slipped into the elevator with me—a worried look still on his face. “I don’t like this, Ari. It doesn’t feel right.” He turned and glared at me. “Give me my cell so I can at least let Seth know that I’m okay. I don’t want him worried about me.”
Baker’s words didn’t bother me as much as the look on his face. I felt some of my bravado slip. Handing him his cell, I asked, “Do you think Eli doesn’t really love me?”
“No, Ari, I know that Eli loves you. The poor fool has been lovesick since he arrived in our part of the world, sniffing after you like a tomcat while you turned your fluffy tail up at him and pranced away, pulling one disappearing act after another. I’ve felt his pain. I know he’s madly in love with you. I…I just don’t feel good about making such a huge life decision without both of you discussing it together.”
Floors clicked away as the elevator climbed…along with my anxiety. Doubts and insecurities started tugging at my heart. Inside her carrier, Havoc started to meow loudly, as if she sensed my stress. Was I making a mistake? Had I misread every signal Eli sent me?
No…no, I couldn’t have misjudged the situation that badly. It was Eli that mentioned us moving in together. He’d wanted this, but I’d been the one to show some hesitation. I remembered the disappointed look on his face when I’d laughed nervously and then told him moving in might be rushing things. I was right with my decision.
I had to be right with my decision.
The elevator dinged, indicating we’d reached the Penthouse floor. Everything felt strange, like time stood still or, at least, slowed way down. In slow motion, the doors opened. In slow motion, Baker and I stepped into a spacious and elegantly decorated hallway. Straight in front of us was a huge set of glass doors that led to a roof-top entertaining area, including a large swimming pool, a waterfall jacuzzi, and a large outdoor bar. It was spectacular…yet dread blossomed in my chest.
“Wow, this is nice,” Baker said. “Maybe you’ll invite me over. I love to swim.” He laughed softly as he peered through the spotless glass and admired the view.
Apparently, all his apprehension had vanished while mine had amped up to a dangerous level. I drew in a shaky breath and tried to calm my nerves. It didn’t work. It didn’t feel like a panic attack—more like a python wrapping its slithery body around me, coiling tightly to prevent the flow of oxygen.
“Oh no, Mr. Bigshot, don’t be getting cold feet on me now,” Baker said while giving my shoulder a hard squeeze. “Everything will work out, Ari. I’m sorry I worried you. I shouldn’t have said anything. It wasn’t fair to base my comments on mine and Seth’s early relationship problems. You and Eli clearly handle things differently, and you’ve both known each other a long time. It’ll be fine.” He looked to the other two doors in the hallway. There was one at the end of the hall to our left and another door at the opposite end. The living spaces wra
pped around the building in opposite directions. “Which one belongs to Eli?”
I forced myself to snap out of my scaredy-cat trance. Looking to the right, I said, “According to my excellent computer hacking skills, this one belongs to Eli.” With slow steps, I moved in that direction.
“I guess it’s safe to assume you hacked the code to get into the apartment too, right?”
“Of course.”
After those arrogantly spoken last words, everything switched back to slow motion. From behind me, I heard Baker’s cell phone ring. Another step. I heard him answer it. Another step. Even from where I stood, I could hear Seth’s voice booming from the other end of the line. When Baker told him where we were, I heard a scuffle and then Eli’s voice yell that we not go into his apartment. Another step. There was no stopping me now. In my heart, I knew it was going to be bad, but I don’t think anything could have prepared me for what happened next. Just as I reached for the keypad to punch in the code, his apartment door opened and a gorgeous man, dressed in an expensive, tailored grey suit, stepped across the threshold.
I looked down at my ratty skinny jeans, Vans, and Lady Gaga T-shirt. It took me a split second to realize that I didn’t belong in this world…in Eli’s world. Clearly, this man did. Everything about him screamed perfection, wealth, and, worst of all, maturity. Oddly colored grey eyes scrutinized me for a few seconds, raking over me before drifting toward Baker. While I might have felt inadequate after the gentleman’s scrutiny, Baker was the opposite.
“Who the fuck are you and what in the hell are you doing in Eli’s apartment?” Baker demanded.
The man chuckled softly. “He invited me. Whatever are you boys doing here?”
I felt my world crumble. This time, it wasn’t in slow motion. It crashed like a tsunami, destroying my heart, leaving nothing but devastation in its path.
Chapter Twelve
Eli
“What did Baker say? Where are they?” I asked Seth as soon as he was finally able to get Baker on the phone. Something was going on, and I didn’t have a good feeling about it. “Ari said he was going home to work on his latest assignment.”
“They’re at your apartment, Eli. I have no idea why but…”
“No!” I roared in horror. “Tell Baker to get Ari out of there!” This couldn’t be happening—not after all the progress I’d made with wooing Ari!
“What? Why?” Seth asked in confusion, staring at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Just tell Baker that they aren’t to go into my building—under no circumstances whatsoever!” I grabbed my shit and ran toward the elevator. When it didn’t arrive fast enough to suit me, I sprinted for the door leading to the stairs. I felt Seth breathing down my neck, matching me step for step.
“Fuck, Eli! What have you done?” he growled. “I told you that if you did anything to hurt Ari that you’d have to answer to me!”
“Not now, Seth,” I hissed as I raced down the steps, skipping the last three on each floor by jumping to the bottom. My heart ached, and my breathing was labored, but I knew it had absolutely nothing to do with the stairway workout. As soon as I burst through the parking garage door, Seth grabbed my shoulder and yanked me around, nearly causing both of us to fall.
“I said ‘not now, Seth’,” I growled at him.
“He’s already there, Eli. Ari and Baker are at your apartment so whatever shit you’ve pulled, you might as well come clean with me now, so I can decide if I’m going to help you or try to kill you.” He pointed his key fob at his sleek sports car and said, “I’m driving. You aren’t in any shape to be behind the wheel. Explain while I drive.”
Being bossed around by Seth wasn’t one of my favorite things, but the second he’d said that Ari and Baker were already at my apartment, I knew that my fellow employee was the least of my worries. Climbing into the car without argument, I waited until he’d pulled out onto the highway before asking any questions. “What did Baker say? Were they in the apartment? How the fuck did he get past all the security codes, dammit!”
Seth rolled his eyes as he cut another car off in order to get us there faster. “It’s Ari we are talking about, Eli. He can hack into any system. I seriously doubt your apartment security used many of his brain cells. More importantly, what are you hiding from Ari at your apartment?” When I didn’t answer right away, he added, “Because they’ve obviously found whatever it was. Baker had some very threatening things to say about you before he hung up on me.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“You need to talk to me, Eli. I really want to believe the best about you right now, but you’re making it incredibly hard. Landon will walk away from the job if you hurt his boy. If Landon goes, I go. If I go, Baker goes. There’s more on the line here than whatever stupid testosterone stunt you’ve pulled.”
My head dropped. Ari would never understand. If he saw McKenzie, he’d think the worst. If he talked to McKenzie, he’d know the worst. “Just drive, Seth,” I muttered, already knowing my life was about to skid off the path again. My time without Ari had damn near destroyed me. I couldn’t do it again.
“Are you cheating on him?”
“Never,” I answered truthfully.
Seth glowered at me, instead of watching the road, and then finally answered, “I believe you. If you aren’t cheating, then it’s something both of you can overcome. Don’t panic. If I could convince Baker to love me, then you can win Ari over with half the effort. He was already in love with you before you made an appearance in our lives.”
“I lied to him,” I whispered softly. “I did the one thing that I know he’ll never be able to forgive or understand…not after what happened between us in college.”
Seth pulled his car into my parking garage, shut off the engine, and asked, “Lied to him about what?”
“Important stuff,” I answered. In my heart, I already knew I’d lost him. I didn’t believe in that soulmate bullshit that belonged in books and fairytales, but my heart felt…different. This morning, I’d felt closer to heaven than I’d felt in ages. Now? I sat on the edge of hell. He’d never forgive me.
Without any of the energy I’d possessed back at the office, I opened the passenger door and stepped into the parking garage. Ari’s tiny sports car sat parked in one of the two spaces that belonged to me. Inside of it sat boxes and pieces of his luggage. The crack in my heart splintered into a million pieces when I realized what he’d been doing.
Standing beside me, Seth asked, “Was Ari moving in with you?”
“I’d asked him to, but he’d been afraid we were moving too fast,” I answered, my voice cracking as tears threatened to fall. “I…I’d planned to woo him into agreeing—into seeing that us being together was the perfect ending to a perfect beginning.” Once I started talking, I couldn’t stop. “I’d imagined all the ways I was going to prove to him that I was the perfect man for him. I planned to convince him that I was worthy of his love.”
“Tell him you’re sorry, Eli. He loves you, so he’ll forgive you.”
Seth’s cell started to ring so I quietly answered, “No, he won’t forgive me.” While Seth answered Baker, I walked toward the penthouse elevator doors. The digital sign above the closed doors indicated that the elevator was on its way down, so I didn’t bother to push the button. When the doors slid open, McKenzie stood there, looking upset and confused. His silver eyes flashed when he saw me standing there.
“What the hell, Eli? You invite me over and then toss me into that hornet’s nest? You’ve got one boy up there mad enough to eat nails just so he could spit them back out at you.” He nodded toward my crotch and added, “Straight in that direction. The other boy is devastated. I didn’t know who to fear more—the one with the curse words and threatening stance or the one with the tears.” He turned to walk toward his car. “Call me if you get your shit straightened out. You’ve got some good things up there that I’d definitely be interested in…but not if it’s going to turn the sub-wrath or twink-tears on me.”
Seth appeared. “That’s my fucking sub and husband you’re talking about, so you might want to shut the fuck up since I seriously doubt you could go hand to hand with me in a fight.”
McKenzie merely smiled. “Congratulations. He’s full of fire and loyalty. He’s definitely one to have beneath you and beside you.” Turning back to me, he asked, “I guess the other one was supposed to belong to you?”
“Yeah…Ari’s always been mine.”
“Not anymore, I’m afraid,” he answered before walking away. “Call if you’re still interested.”
I was interested in one thing and one thing only—making Ari understand—making Ari still love me, even when I probably didn’t deserve it. I stepped onto the elevator, punched in the code, and ignored Seth’s presence. I was so far past the point of worrying about who witnessed my downfall. As the floors ticked away, a numbness overtook my body and threatened to freeze my arms, legs, and heart. When the door finally slid open and I came face to face with a very disgusted Baker, any hope I had remaining vanished in an instant.
“You should have discussed this with me first, Baker,” Seth admonished quietly as he stepped off in front of me. He thrust his hand out to keep the doors from closing with me still inside. “Come on, Eli. Move it.”
Baker snorted. “Apparently there’s a lot of deception going on around here, eh, Eli?” With his arms crossed over his chest, he looked more threatening than I’d ever seen him. Of course, I’d never really seen Baker mad before…
“Not intentionally,” I answered.
“Bullshit. All lies are intentional. You just never planned on getting caught, did you? Well, guess what…you fucked that up and broke his heart in the process.” Seth placed a hand on Baker’s shoulder and whatever words he’d planned to abuse me with were instantly silenced. He had to gnaw the inside of his jaw to keep from continuing, but he managed it because of his love and respect for Seth. After a few seconds, he said, “We’ll wait out here for Ari. If he isn’t out here in ten minutes, I’m coming after him. Understood?”
