As it was, I usually spent the entire hour sitting by myself. Heck, even Jackson wasn’t willing to sit through all the torment. I listened to everyone’s stories, even though I’d heard them all before. Hey, I said I’d go to the meetings; I never said I’d participate. Besides, I wasn’t like them. I planned on living.
There was one bright point of this meeting: the announcement that this would be the last one for six weeks. I have to fight to withhold my grin of delight. With the end of the school year, the group decided to take some time off so that families could take vacations.
My guess is that the coordinator wanted to leave town for a while. In any event, the reprieve from the depressing meetings seemed like a blessing from above, and I wasn’t about to argue against it.
Even better, the group coordinator let us leave early. I went outside to sit on the front steps in the sunshine. Because of the change in plans, Jackson would have no idea that he needed to come to get me so soon. I didn’t bother calling him, either.
There were so few times where I could just be alone with my own thoughts – outside of the house, that is. There was no way I was giving up this time. I planned on taking full advantage of this new-found moment of freedom.
My back rested against the stair rail as my feet tapped on the step below me in rhythm to a tune I was devising. So involved had I become in the working of my new song, I failed to notice the sun no longer warmed my face. When a boy’s voice spoke, I startled badly, hitting my head on the railing behind me.
“Ouch!” I cried out, my hand immediately rising to inspect the tender area on my scalp.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” the boy said, his voice sounding worried as it came closer to my face. “I thought for sure you saw me.”
I had to laugh at his innocent statement, even as I wracked my brain trying to place where I’d heard his voice before. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?” I asked, tilting my head in the direction I imagined he knelt.
“Yeah. Don’t you remember me?”
I shook my head even as I heard the scuffing of his shoes and rustling of his clothes as he settled himself on the step beside me. “Your voice sounds familiar. Remind me again how you know me?”
“Well, I don’t really know you, but we met at the hospital. My brother, Jimmy, has Batten disease. My name’s Matt.”
I’m pretty sure my expression just froze on my face. This was the guy I was flirting with at the hospital. Then it dawned on me that he didn’t realize I was blind, well nearly blind. If he would move out of my sunlight, I might have a chance to get a better look at him using my peripheral vision, blurry as it might be.
“Aren’t you going to shake my hand?” Matt asked, his voice sounding playful.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied, raising my hand too fast and totally bungling any chance of looking at all graceful. Yet, it did create the perfect opportunity for Matt to grab my hand in both of his as he halted my flailing motion. Was it crazy that I felt a thrill of excitement at just his touch? I must be truly pathetic to think of a simple handshake as any kind of flirting.
“Careful, there. You about took out my eye,” Matt teased.
A nervous giggle escaped my mouth. Really? Did I just giggle? I tried to compose myself. “Sorry. I think you just startled me.”
“I didn’t catch your name.”
“Probably because I never told you. I’m Haley.” Unfortunately, he must have decided he didn’t need to keep holding my hand now that he knew my name. I already missed the feeling. My fingers curled into a fist like I was trying to keep the memory of his touch on my skin.
“What’re you doing out here all alone?”
“Oh, my meeting finished early so I thought I’d sit in the sunshine while I wait for my friend to pick me up.”
“Do you need a ride? I’m parked just over there. I could take you home.”
I wanted to melt right there. This was the first time a guy had ever offered to take me anywhere. More than anything, I wanted to say yes and go with him immediately. But I knew that would be wrong. Besides, Jackson was probably already on his way, and that would be beyond rude to stand him up.
I shook my head sadly. “I’m sorry,” I managed to say, even though every fiber of my being wanted to jump up and run away with him. Okay, that might be a tad bit dramatic, but I was excited!
“Haley!” Jackson called from down the street.
I scowled in his direction. It wasn’t like him to call out to me. He must have seen me talking with Matt. I could only assume he was trying to tell Matt that I was his, as stupid as that was. Jackson already knew I only thought of him in a brotherly way.
“Oh, is that your boyfriend?” Matt asked.
Was that jealousy I heard in Matt’s tone? “No, he’s just my best friend.”
“Well, I should get going. See you around, Haley.”
No! Matt was leaving, and I wasn’t ready for him to go. I needed to think of something fast. “Hey, um, maybe I should get your phone number or something.” Matt stayed quiet, so I added, “So we can talk about your brother’s condition if you want, I mean.”
“Oh, sure. Do you have a phone? I can put my number in there.”
I fumbled with my pants pocket to get the blasted phone out before Jackson could ruin my chance. Of course, I would have been wearing my tightest pair of jeans which made it nearly impossible to get anything in or out of my pocket. Almost desperate, I stood up and managed to pull it out, but not in time.
“Hey, Haley. Didn’t you hear me calling for you?” Jackson asked, his voice breathless like he’d been hurrying.
“Yes. I’m sorry, Jackson. Hey, this’s Matt. We met at the hospital. His brother has Batten, too.” I held out my phone, hoping Matt had stayed by my side. Apparently, I got it wrong since I felt Jackson push my hand to the side.
“She’s blind,” Jackson pointed out.
Ugh, sometimes I just wanted to kill Jackson. Why did he have to say that? I felt the phone being taken out of my hand. Matt’s fingers brushed against mine, but the silence seemed to weigh heavily down on the three of us.
Just a few seconds later, Jackson handed my phone back to me. I could tell the difference in the feel of his hand immediately. My frown must have tipped Matt off because he started talking too fast for casual conversation.
“I’m sorry, Haley. I didn’t realize you couldn’t see me. I just, um, I’m sorry. See you around.” His voice sounded far away as he said the last bit.
Not caring who saw me, I hauled off and whacked Jackson’s arm. “Why don’t you just get a megaphone to announce my blindness? What were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry. Did I mess up something with Romeo?”
“Don’t start with me, Jackson.” I gave myself a time out to stop myself from saying anything I might regret later. In a calmer voice, I changed the subject. “You’re here early.”
“Not early enough,” Jackson mumbled.
Of course, I heard him, although he probably didn’t think I could. I took his arm so he could lead me back to his truck and asked, “What’re we filming tonight?”
Just as I knew he would, Jackson brightened up immediately. “I thought maybe we could do a production with your cello. Didn’t your mom say she wanted to do a sequence on that?”
“She did. Plus, I was just thinking up a new song while I was waiting for you.” With practiced ease, I pulled myself up into the seat of the truck. “Maybe you could do a video series about the birth of a new song. You know, start-to-finish progression to the finished song.”
“I like it!” Jackson shut the truck’s passenger door and quickly went around the vehicle to get into the driver’s side.
“I knew you would.” I couldn’t stay mad at Jackson; it wasn’t like Matt wouldn’t have figured out I was nearly totally blind. Besides, I think Matt still gave me his phone number. Maybe I could have Hunter help me call him after Jackson went home. You know; to talk about his brother’s illness.
> Chapter Five
IT’S BEEN A week since the day I met Matt again outside the group meeting. I’ve waffled back and forth on what I should do with the number he put in my phone. Did he just give it to me out of pity, or does he want me to call him? If it’s the former, then I’d feel really stupid calling him. If it’s the latter, then maybe I’ve waited too long to call him already.
During times like these, I really wished I could’ve had a close girlfriend to talk it over with. As it is, school let out for summer break two days ago, and now I don’t even have Jay to talk to. Not that she’d know anything about it either; I doubt she’s ever even talked to a boy other than in our group.
As if my oldest sister had radar for my problem, Julia knocked on my door before letting herself in. “Hey, Haley. What’s with the sad face? Do you want to go out to dinner with me tonight?”
“I’m just thinking,” I automatically answered. Almost instantly, my mood brightened. How come I hadn’t thought about talking this problem over with Julia? I flung my legs over the side of my bed and tossed my ear buds over onto my nightstand. “I’d love to go. I’ll be ready in five minutes!”
Julia laughed at my reaction. I knew she was only trying to get me out of the house because of something our parents had planned, but I also had an ulterior motive in mind. I ran a brush through my unruly, thick hair and pulled a hairband off of my wrist to wrap it around my ponytail. I vaguely remembered what I was wearing, and figured it would be good enough for wherever we decided to go. I turned and asked, “Do I look okay?”
“Perfect. Let’s go.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice.” I walked confidently through our house, waiting at the front door for Julia to lead me to her car. As we’re driving to the restaurant, I decided now would be as good a time as any to ask her advice. “Do you think a week is too long to wait to call a boy?”
“Haley Vallem, do you have a boy you haven’t told me about? When did this happen? And why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”
I knew Julia was teasing me, but I could feel the blush warming my cheeks anyway. “You and Mom have been so busy planning for going to that conference; I didn’t want to interfere.”
“Oh, Haley; I’ve always got time for my favorite little sister.”
“Besides, I don’t think it’s all that serious.” My fingers fiddled with the time-worn edges of my necklace. Maybe I was just overthinking all of it. I was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea anyway.
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? Start from the beginning and don’t leave anything out.”
This was definitely new territory for both of us. I’ve never been interested in a boy, and she’s never asked me about boys. Maybe we were both afraid I would never live long enough to get to this point, so why bother bringing it up?
With a lot of prompting and questions from my sister, I told her everything. In the end, I held my phone up and said, “So I’m not actually sure he left me his number. Nor do I know if I should call him.”
Julia parked the car in front of the restaurant. At almost the same time, she took the phone from my hand. “Why didn’t you ask Mom or Hunter to help you with this?”
“Really?” I asked, the sarcasm practically dripping from my mouth. “Mom would give me the third degree about how dangerous boys are and Hunter would just threaten to kill anyone who dared to speak to me.”
“Okay, you’ve got a good point. So, I see he did actually leave you a real number. Let’s call him now and see what he’s up to.”
Fear instantly overwhelmed me. “NO!” I yelled, too loud for the close confines of the car. In my excitement, I almost broke the chain of my necklace since I tended to fiddle with it when I was feeling uncertain or anxious.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a simple phone call. You’ve never been afraid of anything in all your life.”
“That’s not true; I’ve never liked scary movies.”
“Says the girl who played the lead role in Jackson and Hunter’s latest zombie apocalypse movie.”
“That’s just us messing around. None of it was real. Besides…”
“Besides what? What can you possibly say to convince me not to press this little button to send the call?”
I felt myself practically deflate as the most troubling question finally came spilling out of my mouth. “What if he doesn’t really like me in that way?”
“Would it be so terrible to just be his friend? I mean, all of your friends are guys; so how is this any different?”
She had a point. Maybe I was putting too much emphasis on the potential relationship angle. It wasn’t like he was hurting for friends or anything. I’m sure this was just a casual thing for him, now that I thought about it for a second.
In a moment of weakness, I nodded my approval. The next thing I knew, Julia was shoving the phone up to my ear. At least she didn’t plan on having the phone on speaker so she could be witness to a potentially embarrassing conversation.
“Hello?”
Just hearing Matt’s voice caused my pulse to race and my mind to go completely blank. Julia must have heard him answer because she started jabbing me in the arm to say something back. Almost dropping the phone, I fumbled to get a better grip as I breathlessly said, “Matt? This’s Haley.”
“Well, hi. I was wondering if I was ever going to hear from you. What’s up?”
“Um. Not much really. My sister and I are just getting ready to eat dinner. I thought I’d call to see if you gave me your real number.”
I clapped my hand over my mouth. Did I really just speak that last part out loud? What would possess me to say something so stupid?
Matt laughed as if I’d said something hilarious. At least he didn’t sound offended. “It’s me, all right. Do you want to hang out sometime?”
“Sure. That sounds like fun. Only…” I wracked my brain trying to explain how I don’t have much freedom from home without sounding like I’m a little kid.
“I could come to your house and hang out,” he offered.
Could this be real? Did he just offer to come over to be with me? I felt like pinching myself as a huge grin broke out on my face until his next words came through the call.
“I’ve got lots of questions for you about my brother’s disease.” His tone didn’t change. This must have been his plan all along.
“Yeah, sure. Do you have something to write down my address?” My voice had fallen flat as my hopes for a relationship with Matt were dashed before they could actually blossom into anything that mattered.
“I’ll text it to him,” Julia offered, speaking loudly enough for Matt to overhear. “We should probably head inside and get a table.”
She must have decided to take pity on me. I’m sure my relief was evident on my face.
“Sounds like you’re busy. Go ahead and text me and we’ll figure out a good time later. Have a good dinner. Thanks for calling.”
Matt hung up first.
“That went awful,” I said flatly as I handed the phone back to Julia. I felt a sick feeling in my gut. I heard her fingers tapping on the screen of my phone, so I guessed she was sending the text.
“What’d he say to you? Should I offer to hurt him for you? I haven’t hit send yet.”
“Don’t you dare!” I should’ve known she was only baiting me. When I heard her chuckling, I had to smile in return. “He just said he wanted to talk about his brother with me.”
“Of course he would. Were you thinking he was going to ask you to marry him?”
I could feel the blush overtaking my cheeks at her comment. Of course, I knew it was outrageous, but a girl could dream. He could be my knight in shining armor, right? Apparently, I’d been listening to too many romance audiobooks because it was clouding my reality for real relationships.
Julia kept talking, “Besides, he’s probably just as nervous about seeing you as you are him. He only said what came to his mind. Kind of like you did at the beginning of
the conversation. I think I may need to give you some lessons on how to talk to a guy. C’mon. Let’s go eat.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Is it always that hard?” I asked suddenly, the French fry suspended between my plate and my mouth.
“Talking to a boy for the first time?”
I nodded.
“Every time!” Julia laughed, probably at my reaction. “Don’t worry, though; it’s all better from there.”
“Thank goodness. I’d hate to think it could get worse.”
“Well, I guess it could. But if you’ll take my advice, then you’ll be just fine.”
“What’s your sage advice?”
“Be yourself. Don’t try to read anything into your conversations with him. Be his friend.”
“Ugh. Now I know how Jackson has felt all these years.”
“He brought that on himself.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Really? What self-respecting girl is going to want to go out with a boy who made videos of his puppet? You’re lucky you didn’t have to watch them.”
“They couldn’t be that bad. You’re just trying to mess with me.” I grinned at her attempt to cheer me up.
“Not kidding. Just ask Hunter. I think the best thing that ever happened to Jackson was having Hunter get him to work on some better video projects. Now Jackson’s got a shot of having a future in the film industry.”
This time I really did laugh. “Remind me to thank Hunter when we get home.”
“Not a chance. Our brother doesn’t need any encouragement for his ego.”
“What’re you talking about? He’s as sweet as pie.”
“Maybe to you. He’s always adored you.”
“He can’t help it if I’m his favorite.” Maybe now was as good a time as any to ask the other thing bothering me. “What’re you and Mom working on? I mean, every time I come into the room, the two of you get really quiet.”
“You’re too perceptive for your own good. But you don’t have anything to worry about.”
The Rift In Our Reality: A Sweet Young Adult Romance Page 3
