Valorre lowered his head further, eyes glazed. I didn’t need to know his thoughts to understand his answer.
“That’s all right, Valorre. We’re going to get her back. I’m going to do whatever it takes.” The conviction in my voice surprised me, making me stand taller. It was as if I’d unearthed a hidden well of confidence from deep inside. Valorre needs me. Cora needs me. I’m doing this.
I turned to Lord Jonston, who stared wide-eyed and unblinking at Valorre. I understood his fascination. Nearly everyone knew of Cora’s famed unicorn companion, but it was one thing to know about it, and another thing to see it in your kitchen. As if my gaze shook him out of his stupor, he met my eyes. “Your Majesty?”
“Gather my brother, Prince Lex, and Queen Helena. I request a meeting.”
“Shall I call the council as well?” Jonston asked.
“No, this will be a private meeting of those I am closest to only.”
Jonston raised an eyebrow. “Is that wise, Your Majesty? If you are discussing our plans, you should include the council.”
I furrowed my brow. “You said so yourself, I should approach them only once I have a solid plan.”
“Yes, but I feel any plans of war should be made amongst your closest advisers.”
“Which is why I’m inviting you, Lord Jonston. If I am being reckless, my friends will be the first to tell me so. However, they understand what we are dealing with better than anyone else. If we come up with a plan that you support, then we can bring it to the council together.” I took a step toward Jonston, my voice firm as I said, “We are getting Cora back. We are taking action.”
Jonston hesitated before nodding. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Gather those I’ve ordered. We meet today.”
* * *
Cora
“I…I can’t be your heir. I’m the Blood of Ailan. I’m the—”
“Mother of Prophecy?” Darius shook his head. “That isn’t possible. I can sense you are my kin, but not through my sister’s blood. No, you are of my father’s blood. However, I am impressed you’ve tried so hard to stick to the Mother of Prophecy story. Who are you trying to protect?”
I swallowed hard, lest any word betray me.
“Could it be…Queen Mareleau?” Darius pulled a crumpled scroll from his pocket, the violet ribbon gone. Mareleau’s letter. He unrolled the parchment, scanning it. When he was done, he flourished it with a smirk. “This looks serious. Were you supposed to deliver it? Or did you steal it?”
“That’s a private correspondence,” I said, cursing myself that it was my best reply.
“Private indeed. Now, why do you have it? Here you are, protecting the identity of the true Blood of Ailan, yet withholding her personal letters. Who is King Larylis to you?”
I couldn’t help but laugh, although I tried to move as little as possible as the mania tore from my throat.
His face flashed with irritation and the barest hint of a blush. “Have I made a joke you enjoyed?” he said through his teeth.
“Your attempts to bait me are not only obvious, but horribly misguided.”
His expression regained its calm. “Enlighten me then.”
“I was given the letter to deliver and would have done exactly that if I hadn’t been abducted by a madman first. It’s as simple as that. I’m not withholding anything.”
He studied me a moment before echoing my laugh with his own. “You can’t blame me for trying, can you?” He crumpled the letter and tossed it on the floor, then took a step closer to me. Laughter still played on his lips, but his eyes took on a cruel intensity. “I thought, perhaps, there may have been something other than pure friendship between you and this Mareleau, that’s all. You did protect her by taking on the whole Mother of Prophecy guise, yet I can’t say you tried very hard.”
My lips pressed into a tight line. “What would have been the point? You obviously figured it out already.”
“You are right about that. My son wasn’t nearly as thorough as he’d thought, all because of his obsession with you. It blinded him to the truth. You were the obvious answer, born the year of the great bear in the kingdom bearing the black mountain sigil. Yet, just a kingdom away, another was born in the year of the great bear. I hear she gave birth to a son recently. Born at Ridine Castle.”
He met my eyes, and I shuddered beneath the anger rising on his face.
“He should have seen the possibilities. He should have looked for them.” Just as quickly as the anger arose, it dissipated with a sigh. He replaced his scowl with a smile. “Yet, what’s done is done. Mareleau has lived a safe and privileged life, all so she could give birth to the Blood of Ailan. And you—you should win an award for all you’ve done for the cause! Your childhood was filled with blood and death, your womb broken before you even knew you had one. Did you always know your suffering had such a great purpose?”
My breathing quickened as I narrowed my eyes.
“No? When did you find out? When did you learn that everything that had happened to you was done by mistake? That you were carrying a punishment that had been intended for someone else?”
I bit the inside of my lip to stifle my reply.
“Do you enjoy being Mareleau’s protector? Do you enjoy watching her with her newborn baby—a baby that was only born at the cost of all the children you could ever have?”
No. Get out of my head.
His voice began to rise. “Are you glad that you lost your parents so she could keep hers? Are you proud that you gave up your youth so she could be coddled and loved, fought over by princes and poets? Have you ever wondered what it would have been like if Morkai had left you in peace and found her instead?”
“Stop.” The word came out like a growl.
“Have you ever daydreamed about what it would be like if you’d grown up with your family, instead of watching them all die one by one? Have you looked at Mareleau’s son and imagined him as your own, knowing you’ll never experience the joy she now feels?”
“Stop!” This time, it came out as a shout.
His voice seemed to mingle with the pounding of my heart, rising to a roar in my head. “Can you honestly say you have no regrets? That you would have chosen this path for yourself? If you could do it all over again knowing what you know now, would you still choose what has been wrongfully chosen for you? Do you deserve this punishment? Are you happy with all you’ve sacrificed, or do you wish the burden had been put in its rightful place? Should it really have been given to you, an innocent child born in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or should it have been her? Do you wish it had been her?”
“Yes.” The word was deafening, erupting from my throat and leaving everything—my breathing, my racing heart, Darius—in stunned silence.
“Yes, what?” Darius prodded, his voice soft.
“Yes.” Tears streamed down my cheeks, my shoulders wracked with sobs. I welcomed the pain that burned my shoulder. “I wish it would have been her.”
Darius placed a hand on my arm, his touch gentle. “You have been treated wrongly, as have I. Injustice was thrust upon you, as it was thrust upon me. You want what should have been yours, as do I. You and I aren’t so different. El’Ara belongs to me. Lela belongs to you.”
With that, he took the lantern and left, closing the door behind him and leaving me in darkness. All I could hear were my quiet sobs.
26
DELIRIUM
Teryn
“So, what’s the verdict?” I stood before the desk in my study, hands clasped. Larylis, Lex, Lily, Queen Mother Helena, and Lord Jonston sat in the chairs before me. “Tell me the truth. Is my plan crazy?”
Larylis sat forward in his chair, eyes alight with excitement. “No, brother. It makes more sense than anything else. Of course we should bring the fight to him! Keep Darius from stepping foot in Lela altogether!”
Lord Jonston rubbed his brow. “But how do we do it, Your Majesty? It’s one thing to say we should march for war, and another to d
o so and actually win. Even with Lela’s combined forces, Norun and Syrus will have us outnumbered, not to mention, the benefit of familiar terrain.”
Helena, sitting straight-backed and regal in her chair, lifted a finger. “This man, Darius, can Travel at will. If all our forces are fighting in Norun, who will stop him if he decides to leave the fight and come here?”
“We will have to keep some of our men behind,” I said, “to guard the areas he would most likely target. And some of the Black Force will still go to northern Kero to guard the tear. That part of our original plan won’t change.”
“How will you find it?” Lex asked. “I know Cora marked the area on the map, but wasn’t she supposed to show the Black Force the exact location?”
“We will have to patrol the entire area she indicated,” Larylis said. “We know the veil falls on the border between Lela and Risa, and the location she gave us narrows things down to a manageable radius.”
“This proves my point,” Jonston said. “If we have men guarding the veil, others stationed at the ports in Vera, and everywhere else of importance, we’ll be even more outnumbered.”
“You’re right,” I said, though it made me sick to admit it. “There’s no way we can win if we march north to fight their entire legion. There has to be another way. We need to weaken them somehow.”
“We could wait until they are far enough south from the capital, then send the Black Force to sabotage their supplies,” Larylis said.
Lex shook his head. “They’d only be replaced the next day. Every city in Norun is occupied by soldiers to keep all the conquered kingdoms in check. They ration all goods out to the citizens and can just as easily take them to the army instead.”
“We could block the roads leading to them,” Larylis said.
“That means we’d have to allocate even more men away from our main fighting force,” Jonston said, “giving us even less men for the actual attack.”
“We need to stir up chaos.”
“We need a solid plan.”
“What if we attack at night?”
I stopped listening to the ideas and arguments as I leaned against my desk. This isn’t going to work, is it? Everything inside me burned to take action, to rush headfirst into battle, to do whatever it took to get to Darius. But Jonston was right. There was no way we could be successful if we didn’t have a plan. There was no way we could win.
If we faced Darius head on in a single battle, our forces would be decimated. The path would be clear for Darius to invade Lela.
Cora would be lost to me.
I let out a heavy sigh, my shoulders slumped. “Enough.”
The arguing quieted, and all eyes fell on me.
“We can’t do this,” I said, eyes on the floor. “Let’s stick with our original plan. Defend Lela against attack.”
No one said a word against me. I was almost disappointed.
I lifted my eyes, opening my mouth to dismiss the meeting, when Lily raised a timid hand. “I have an idea,” she said, her cheeks blazing.
Lex turned to regard her, looking just as perplexed as I felt. “Lilylove?”
“You are free to speak, princess,” I said, although I was more curious than hopeful.
Her voice came out small. “Why don’t we use the rebels?”
I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?”
“There is a resistance in Norun,” she said. “There has been for decades, but it is coming to a boiling point. The conquered kingdoms want to fight to reclaim their land and titles, but the Norun occupation makes it impossible. All weapons are forbidden to anyone but the soldiers, every forge has been seized by the capital, and anyone suspected of dissension is put to death.”
“I appreciate the idea,” I said, “but from what you say, I don’t see how the rebels could be in any position to help us.”
Lily blushed. “We would have to help them first. Provide them with weapons and an opportunity. The rebels will do the rest. Norun will crumble, leaving the army isolated and without hope for reinforcement. The unrest is there. All they need is a little help.”
I looked from Lily then to Lex, who still stared aghast at his wife. “Lex, do you know what she speaks of?”
He met my eyes and smiled, face full of pride. “Yes, what she says is true.”
I cocked my head. “Princess Lily, how is it you know of this?”
“My brother, Your Majesty,” she said. “He’s one of the resistance leaders.”
“He was a lord in a wealthy kingdom in Risa,” Lex said. “A kingdom that now belongs to Norun.” He turned to Lily, lowering his voice. “I didn’t know you remained in contact with him.”
“Of course I have,” she whispered back. “In secret.”
Something bubbled inside me—hope, excitement, the thrill of realizing this could work. My eyes flashed to Lord Jonston, looking pensive as he rubbed his chin. He caught my eye, and I raised a brow. He nodded. I turned my attention back to Lily. “Tell me more.”
* * *
Cora
I wish it had been her. I wish it had been her.
How could I have said such a thing? How could I have…meant such a thing?
You and I aren’t so different.
It wasn’t true. It couldn’t have been true. I was good. I was kind. I was an empath. I used my powers to help people.
I wish it had been her.
Mareleau’s face, charred by flame. A pillar of fire consuming her body. Should it have been her?
“No!” The sound of my shout startled me, returning my awareness to the dark room, to the ropes biding my wrists and the dried tears on my cheeks. Even in the dark, I could tell my vision was swimming. The pain in my shoulder had grown to a nauseating degree, my breathing shallow just to keep myself from moving too much.
Tired. So tired.
How long had it been since Darius had left me? A strangled cry escaped my lips as thoughts of Darius brought back thoughts of my confession.
No, that was a lie. That’s not me.
So much of what he’d said rang true. Growing up, I’d often fantasized about a childhood where my parents had survived, one where Linette and her children played with me, where Dimetreus forever loved me and never turned me out of Ridine Castle.
When those fantasies seemed too outlandish for me to indulge, I would dream of discovering I truly was one of the Forest People, the blood of the Ancient Ones, a Faeran from the stories I loved. With my dark hair and small stature, it wasn’t hard for me to imagine it could be true. My powers could have been handed down from a long-lost Ancient ancestor. That’s what I’d told myself, anyway.
And if I’d been of Ailan’s blood, it would have been true.
But no, my magic was human magic. My blood was human blood, passed down from a man who fathered a son that craved power. I wasn’t related to the beautiful Elvan or the gentle Faeran. I was related to…Morkai.
Rage flooded my veins, as visions of Mareleau filled my mind—her golden hair, her crystal blue eyes. Beauty of Satsara. She was Elvan through and through. Darius was right about her being fought over by poets and princes. My own husband once courted her.
It should have been her.
Shame extinguished the rage, and I cried out, feeling as if I were drowning beneath a weight of impenetrable darkness. A darkness that was me.
Face the darkness. Face it. Look at it. My voice taunted me as the darkness pressed me further down.
“No. No. No!”
The door swung open, and I saw daylight illuminating the room beyond. In the doorway stood a petite, feminine figure carrying a bucket. “Your Majesty.”
I blinked, letting my eyes adjust to the light as I tried to place the familiar face. “You…”
The girl curtsied and gave me a warm smile. “I’m Gerta, Your Majesty. I was hearth maid at Ridine Castle.”
The girl who caught Darius in the throne room. “Gerta! He kept you alive! Thank Lela you found me.”
Gerta laughed as she
set the bucket on the ground and began to unwrap the strip of cloth surrounding the blade at my shoulder. “Of course he kept me alive, Your Majesty. He brought me here to be your queensmaid.”
Her words were puzzling, but the pain in my shoulder tore rational thought away as Gerta continued her ministrations. Once the bloodied cloth was removed, she began to clean the area surrounding the blade. Whatever herbs were in the pungent-smelling water seemed to alleviate some of the pain. But why wasn’t she removing the blade?
“Forget about the wound, Gerta. Please cut my bindings at once.”
Gerta paused, not meeting my eyes, then began wrapping fresh cloths around my shoulder, blade still intact. “King Darius has ordered me to care for you yet leave you as you are for now.”
My stomach sank. “Gerta, you don’t serve King Darius. Your home is Kero and Ridine Castle.”
“Not anymore, Your Majesty. Darius has given me a new job. Here in Syrus, anyone can be anything, if they prove they have the skill for it. In Kero, I could never be anything more than a household servant. Here, I can be queensmaid, chambermaster, councilman, merchant, artist, whatever I have the talent to be.”
I let out a grumbling sigh. “Is that what he told you?”
“It is, and it is what I’ve seen since I’ve been here.” Gerta’s voice was full of awe. “Only those who have no merit are used as servants, Your Majesty. My low birth has no influence here. I am judged as I am, simple as that.”
Irritation coursed through me. “We need to get home, Gerta. I need to get home. Please help me.”
She ignored me as she made the final knot securing my bandages. “I don’t know why you are tied up like this, Your Majesty, but King Darius wishes it so. I may not understand, but I am willing to prove my merit to him.” She stood and gathered her bucket.
Anxiety coursed through me. “You aren’t leaving me, are you?”
“I will be back again, Your Majesty,” she said, turning toward the door.
“Please, don’t go!” Don’t leave me in the dark. Not again.
Shades of Prophecy Page 20
