Julian kissed her for several minutes, slipping his talented tongue in and out of her mouth until she was panting. He drew her down to the bed he’d made for them. “You look tired.”
Portia made herself comfortable but pulled the sheet up to cover them both. She rolled onto her side, facing Julian. “I have been having the strangest dreams of late. I am locked away, with Montrose banging on the walls, demanding to be let in.”
He brushed her hair back from her face gently. “Dreams are often a reflection of the truth we won’t listen to.”
“You were with me, and I felt so safe because of you.”
He kissed her fingers softly. “Of course, I’d never let any harm come to you.”
“I believe that,” she promised. Then Portia yawned suddenly, unable to stop. Julian pulled her tight into his arms. They lay nestled like that for a while, and Portia never wanted it to end.
Chapter 20
Julian’s heart was beating so fast, he feared he’d crack his own ribs. When he’d come here early this morning, he never imagined this sort of reception, but it certainly removed any doubts.
Portia would not marry Montrose.
Her freedom was all that mattered to him. He lightly brushed a hand down her back, seeking to wake her from the deep sleep she’d suddenly fallen into when her head had touched his shoulder. He liked that she felt so safe with him, but they had quite a bit to talk about and to do yet.
Portia stirred in his arms finally and stretched. “Is it still raining?”
“It is,” Julian murmured as he found her hand and clasped her slender fingers in his. “It hasn’t stopped all morning. You’ve been asleep for several hours.”
His stomach growled, and he wished his hunger far away. Portia had heard, though, and quickly sat up to pull her picnic basket across the floor.
A sandwich landed in his lap and a glass of wine was poured for him, too. Portia found something for herself and nibbled on a chicken leg while she peeked at him. “Have you been awake all this time?”
He’d been too keyed up for sleep. What they had started that morning could have a devastating effect on other people. Portia’s parents would be angry with them both, and her sister’s chances of making a match would suffer unless they did things the right way. Most of all, he still did not know how—or how soon—Portia intended to break her engagement with the Duke of Montrose.
“I’ve been awake most of the morning. I didn’t want to miss a moment of having you all to myself.”
She chuckled softly as she peeked under the sheet at her state of undress, and then at his nakedness too. “You’ve had more of me than anyone else ever will.”
That sounded promising, but he didn’t want to assume anything where Portia was concerned. He ate quickly, even taking a second helping at Portia’s urging. Sleeping with him was one thing. Marrying him quickly, quite another. “I must admit I am very surprised you were the one to suggest this.”
Portia flung herself onto her back and glared. “Don’t you want to be with me?”
She might be glaring at him, but Julian was much more interested in enjoying the view of her lovely breasts.
He traced the point of one finger over each swell and the valley, and then did it again. “You’ve kissed a great many gentlemen during the two seasons that I’ve known you.”
She sat up, scowling fiercely. “I hope you’re not suggesting I’ve done this before with one of them?”
Since her pitch was rising in fury, he shook his head quickly. “I know you have not, but I haven’t watched over you every minute of your life. I’ve noticed you are quite adept at slipping away on your own, and I understand your need for liberty very well. You have openly admired the most attractive gentlemen of the ton quite often.”
“You are one of those.”
“Oh no, I’m not,” he corrected her. He did not need or want false flattery. He knew his looks lacked that certain flair to make women swoon when he passed them by. “I do not resent that, either. The pretty ones are often foolish.”
She resumed her former position, half lying atop him. “True,” she admitted. “Sometimes it was hard not to laugh at the way they’d catch their reflections in any mirror and admire their own faces.”
“They should have been admiring yours instead.”
She reached out and her fingers slipped under his hair to toy with the shell of his ear. They were a bit too large, and he’d suffered enough jokes for them in the past that he’d long since learned to hide them beneath an overdue haircut. It might be unfashionable but it served a purpose. “For the record, I would not have cared if you had slept with an army of gentlemen. I’m hardly virginal.”
Portia’s eyes fixed on his, and they narrowed dangerously. “And who have you slept with, my lord?”
He shrugged, trying not to laugh at her flash of temper and the intrusive question. “Only a handful of women perhaps have shared my bed, when I was a young man. Nothing like the number Montrose had memorialized upon his disgusting little stick of wood. Mine were light skirts, every one. Paid well for their trouble. I can barely remember their faces, they were so long ago.”
Portia lifted one shoulder, and he could touch her breast more easily. “Were you ever in love?”
He moved his hand up until his fingers rested over her nipple. A pity they were still encased in chemise and stays. Portia’s breath hitched as he began to unlace her, and she did not try to stop him. He gently removed her stays and also took her chemise away.
A crimson blush stained her cheeks, and she looked down as he swirled his fingertip around her breasts, teasing her in a way he’d always hoped to do.
“I thought so once, but now, I suspect it was merely an infatuation,” he assured her. It was better that Portia have no doubts about the state of his heart. She was about to cast herself into the eye of a storm, and the scandal might be hard to bear if she had doubts about his sincerity. She owned him body and soul. Had for years, too, not that she’d realized it fully yet. He did not believe that would ever change.
Her breath rushed out as he pinched her nipple. He swept one hand down her warm body, lingering over the soft, supple curve of her hip. He moved her slightly so more of her body rested on top of him.
Portia was slowly moving her body against him, too, and he considered whether they should stop this. Although Portia was with him now, obviously, her family could try to keep them apart in the end. It would all come down to the money, and whether he could convince her father that his affection for Portia had nothing to do with the size of her dowry.
Portia suddenly straddled his hips and looked around with a laugh. “I finally understand what you meant now. About gentlemen always wanting to go riding with a lady.”
“Do you?” Julian grasped her hips and moved her back. His cock was already thick enough, and with a little maneuvering, he rested beneath her folds. She had a lovely body, and Wade was well embraced by her.
He brought his hands forward to her flat stomach and very slowly moved his fingertips lower, into her curls. “I could show you the stars.”
She suddenly moaned as he delved between her folds. “I know about this kind already.”
He liked that she had a little experience in pleasuring herself. One day he’d like to watch her do it, too. However, Julian needed to bring her to that point himself. He’d waited a long time to have Portia, after all. But there was no need to rush.
“Wade,” she complained as he drew his fingers away.
He returned his fingers to her folds and found her clitoris easily. She began to writhe as he played with her with more intensity.
He grinned. “I should probably stop.”
“Don’t you dare,” she warned, as she lifted her hands up under her hair. She stretched and twisted and rocked against his fingers. The moisture from her body coated his cock, and he groaned.
Portia looked down at him and smiled. “What are you waiting for?”
“I can’t look away from y
ou.”
She widened her legs a bit more and began to move against his fingers and cock. She nearly drove him out of his mind.
He grabbed her hips tightly, lifted her up, and held the tip of his cock against her entrance. “I’ll be gentle with you,” he promised, before he thrust up.
Portia yelped a little, freezing above him. Julian quickly returned his attention to her clit and resumed teasing her. After a moment, Portia made a few tentative movements that drove him deeper into her body. However, it seemed her experience only went so far, and she moved uncertainly.
Julian grasped her hips again and showed her the way.
He held her gaze as her face slowly flushed. Her nipples hardened to points as they bounced free and unbound above him. It was glorious to make love slowly, each using their body to excite the other.
He found her clitoris hardened, and Portia gasped as he teased her there. “Oh, that’s the spot,” she whispered.
She began to move a bit more purposefully. The friction of her fine cunny gripping his cock was without equal. Julian’s desire flared higher. He could fuck anyone if he wanted to, but making love was an art he only needed Portia for.
He captured her breast with one hand and teased her sex with the other. A little pinch of her nipple made Portia moan. “Julian, help me,” she cried.
“I’m here, love. I’m deep inside you, where I’ve always wanted to be.”
He abandoned her breast and got a firm grip on her bottom. Carefully, he rocked her hips against his. Portia moaned again, and she continued to work her body against him, too. Her erotic movements nearly unseated him. He’d imagined her passionate for the right man, just not this way for him.
Portia’s gaze lowered, and as soon as their eyes met, she cried out his name. She jerked, coming hard and long on top of him. Julian gritted his teeth but her gyrations were more than he could hope to resist. He climaxed inside her tight little body, driving into her over and over, unable to stop himself.
Portia collapsed, her sweat-covered limbs sticking to his.
He licked his lips nervously, waiting for complaints. He’d been very much carried away in the heat of the moment, but then so had she, too. However, it was clear that pleasure and Portia were very well acquainted.
She slowly raised her head. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips slightly parted. She looked to have been truly ravished. A slow smile spread over her face, and then she stretched to kiss him full on the lips. “You’re wonderful.”
Relieved beyond measure that their lovemaking had lived up to her expectations, Julian pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “No, you’re wonderful,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her brow.
Eventually their bodies cooled and he softened enough to slip from her.
“Julian,” she whispered, her face still pressed to his chest. “How do you feel about me?”
Julian smoothed his hand over her head and hair, his heart beating fast at the obvious answer. It burned his tongue, and he waited only a moment to explain. “I’ve always loved you,” he said simply.
“I thought you must.” She pressed a kiss to his chest. “What time is it?”
“Almost three, I should imagine.” He reached for his pocket watch and squinted. “Actually, almost four.”
“We have to get dressed. Hurry. My maid might return at any moment.”
Portia sat up, and then bounded to her feet. Julian struggled into a sitting position and leaned against the wall to watch her move about. She seemed unusually energetic to his eye.
Portia poured herself some wine and drank thirstily. “I have to get home. Mother has organized another dinner with Lord Montrose.”
Julian scowled. “With Montrose?”
“Oh, don’t say his name in that tone.”
Julian would use any tone he liked to describe that undeserving bastard. “Are you looking forward to seeing him?”
“Indeed I am, now.” She laughed as she attempted to tighten her stays. “Can you help me with this?”
Julian slowly climbed to his feet and crossed to her. He held his tongue, unsure about her current mood. He did not like that she sounded happy to see Montrose straight after they had made love.
He tightened the bindings that would hide her lovely bosom from his gaze as requested. But was it to be forever?
When he was done, she turned and drew his head down for a quick kiss. “Thank you.”
She dashed about the room and kept talking while she dressed. “I have so much to do to prepare for this evening. Can you see one of my garters out there? I seem to only have one here.”
Julian looked around and found it on top of his shoe. He snatched it up but held it. He wasn’t sure what was going through her mind right now, but obviously Portia was not thinking about him anymore.
Her hands rose to slip her gown over her head, wriggling around wildly to get back into her dress. When she emerged again, she was practically perfect. Only her hair looked like she’d just jumped out of bed. Which was true.
She smiled at him, “Did you find it?”
Julian held it up. “I did.”
Portia raised her foot and rested it on the edge of the chair. “Will you help dress me?”
Julian moved toward her, and then knelt at her feet. He tugged up her stocking until it was neat and slowly tied the garter just above her knee. “Is that tight enough?”
He looked up and found Portia staring down at him with a smoldering expression on her face. He moved his hand along her inner thigh toward her curls.
Portia made a little sound—half encouragement, half frustration—and her hips retreated from his touch. “Julian, there’s no time for that now. If I’m too late, Mother will send someone to get me, and I don’t want anyone to find you here with me.”
“I suppose you don’t, at that.”
“No indeed. No one can know about us.” She cupped his cheek and pulled him up to stand on his own two feet. “Today will be our secret forever.”
He took a step back, utterly crushed. “As you like.”
Working without a mirror, Portia smoothed her hair and pinned it into a neat arrangement.
Julian jerked on his own clothes then, tugging them up without caring if it was done right or not. If she had changed her mind about him, it hardly mattered how he looked, did it?
“Did I really leave my slippers downstairs?”
“I think so.”
“Hmm,” she huffed. “Getting a bit ahead of myself. Dinner will be at eight Wednesday night, make sure to bring Auntie. I don’t want her to miss anything.”
Julian turned slowly. “Dinner?”
Portia turned around quickly. “Yes, you’re both coming to dinner.”
When she stepped toward him, Julian took a pace back. “What about us?”
“There is no us. There cannot be right now,” she explained.
She pulled his head down and planted a hard kiss on his lips. When she drew back, she was frowning. “I made a mistake letting this go so far with you.”
Did she mean to pretend they’d never made love? “You cannot unmake what we did today, Portia!”
She squirmed. “I know, but I have to make sure no one suffers for what I’ve done. Come to dinner tomorrow night, and you’ll see what I mean.”
Portia gave him one last kiss goodbye, and then fled, leaving Julian even more confused than before.
Chapter 21
The dinner at which Portia had expected to end her betrothal had to be postponed at the last minute. Lord Montrose had sent word while she’d been lying in Julian’s arms that he would not be able to attend after all. Mother had not taken the snub very well and gone to bed, pleading that she had a migraine. Father had gone out to his club on hearing about Mother, and likely wouldn’t return until dawn.
Portia would have no chance to broach the subject of Montrose with him until later tomorrow, most likely.
She pressed a cooling cloth to Mother’s forehead. “Does that help?”
> “Not yet,” she whispered. “Oh, it is all falling apart.”
How right her mother was. Portia dreaded telling her the truth. She wet the cloth again and returned it to her brow, trying to decide if she should give some warning of her lack of feeling for the duke. Her only concern was how strenuously her mother might try to talk her out of breaking the engagement with Montrose.
Portia would not change her mind.
Now that she had decided not to be engaged to Montrose, Portia wanted to end the association with him as quickly and directly as possible. That could not be done without looking Lord Montrose in the eye. She owed him that respect at least. It was absolutely imperative that he never realize she had decided to throw him over because she loved Lord Wade instead. She wanted it to seem unplanned, and therefore less dangerous for Julian. “Did Lord Montrose indicate when he’d be back in London?”
“Not really. I do find that very inconvenient.”
Portia wholeheartedly agreed, but likely not for the same reason as her mother. She had prepared a speech, consulting books on etiquette that afternoon, too, but she could not be free to make a better choice until she saw the duke. Of course, she could write out her change of heart in a letter, but that seemed cowardly.
She toyed with the idea again and dismissed it. Julian had once warned her against writing any of her feelings down. He said they could be used against her if they fell into the wrong hands. He was probably right about that.
She would like to write to Julian, though, and tell him how she felt right now. She felt badly that she had slept so long and had needed to leave him behind. She wanted to shout to the world that her heart had finally found a home. She was in love with a man she’d never once expected to fall for…until she had nearly lost him.
She didn’t even know why she loved him so well as to throw away her one chance to be a duchess. The only thing she knew deep down in her bones was that she couldn’t lose the chance to be Lord Wade’s lady.
The things they had done that afternoon in her late uncle’s home were her secret, her hidden pleasure. And she wanted to do it all again with him, and soon. When he’d finally told her that he loved her…Portia’s heart had almost burst with joy.
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