I don’t expect what comes next.
Her tightly pulled eyes are clouded with smoke and crazed revenge. She doesn’t care that this may literally be her last breath. She shoots me at close range and right in my gut, smiling the entire time she pulls the trigger.
This is her avenging and protecting her son because that’s what family does. And as I feel myself slipping out of consciousness, I vow to myself that I will not die on this cold-ass floor for the same reason.
Before today, I lived my life like death was never a possibility. I was so preoccupied with being right that I lost sight of what truly mattered. Elizabeth and Knox are my entire universe, and I will ruthlessly fight to protect my moon and star.
That is my one job.
To fight for them.
That’s why I refuse to die today.
If only I could keep my goddamn eyes open.
17
ELIZABETH
During the first fifteen minutes of being in the president of Cabot University’s office, I can tell that the man is seriously considering whether or not I’ve been a victim of domestic violence because of how our last call ended. To be fair, I am being rather quiet and tentative but not for the reasons he is thinking.
My emotions are a brew of anger and anxiety. Roman decided to spend the majority of the night out without as much as a text to let me know what his plans were or to check in on his son. I’m not surprised. He’s been spending more time at the club or at Joseph’s or wherever the hell else he goes, which is why I’ve made the executive decision to take my trip to Cabot.
So far this visit has been full of surface pleasantries, tea service and a tour of the university but I can tell that Jacob’s eyes are filled with pity. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants to check me for bruises and refer me to a good therapist, but gratefully he keeps our conversation light and totally on topic so I roll with it.
“Cabot is a gorgeous campus and it’s so great that they have online access to a lot of Penn’s courses,” I admire.
“Yes, our students are getting an Ivy League education at a fraction of the cost.”
“I love that.”
“But even that cost is a burden for many students, which is where your app comes in.”
“Exactly,” I add. “College should be affordable for everyone who wants to attend.”
We walk up a wooded trail behind one of the field hockey fields. I didn’t realize just how out of shape I’ve become. I guess sitting at a computer all day is the new bacon. Jacob doesn’t acknowledge the embarrassing fact that I’ve become winded, but he conveniently stops and points out a few of the buildings on campus to give me a chance to catch my breath.
“And this is Berger Hall. It’s the student activity center and main dining hall.”
“Burger hall?” I chuckle. “That’s cute.”
“Berger with an E, not a U.” Jacob smiles. “Mr. Ronald Berger donated five million dollars to the university upon his death. Part of the land the university sits on was donated by his family in the 1940s.”
“Wow.” I feel a little embarrassed that I didn’t do my homework and know that already.
My cell phone dings with a missed call from my friend Patricia. She called me yesterday as well, but I truly feel that Roman and I did all we could do for her. At this point, all she could want is more money, which is a favor I’m not doing a second time.
I place my phone’s ringer on silent and slide it inside my purse as we start walking again. I ask Jacob something that’s been on my mind since I arrived.
“If you were to do things all over again, Jacob, would you have attended an Ivy League college?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Just taking this tour makes me realize how many wonderful universities there are that students don’t have a clue about. This seems like a place I would have really enjoyed.”
“I’m not going to lie, at seventeen I would have chosen an Ivy League again because I thought that was important to say on résumés and in interviews; but if I were my age now, inside of that seventeen-year-old body, I would definitely have attended somewhere like Cabot. Ultimately, it only matters that you get the degree and a decent education not where it’s from.”
“That’s easy for us to say though, huh?” I smile.
“True, but that’s what I honestly believe. That’s why I accepted this position. I hope to be a part of making Cabot a lot of students’ first choice school.”
I look at Jacob’s left hand and notice there’s a platinum wedding band on it. I consider how my life may have looked differently if I had ended up with a man like him, someone who understands my background and my mission because he grew up similarly and wants the same things. Maybe Roman and I are too different. Perhaps that will always be our problem.
Roman barely said a word when Juliette, Knox and I left in the morning for the train station. He had the driver put our bags in the car as he watched us silently from his chaise. He said his goodbyes to Knox the night before after watching an episode of Sesame Street and playing with some food based finger-paints, but the two of us were barely speaking.
It took only a few moments of silence on our ride to the train station for my chest to tighten with sorrow and for Juliette to finally address it.
“It breaks my heart the way you two just parted from each other.”
Knox’s head tipped to the side and his eyes closed. Being in motion knocked him right out.
“He basically ordered me not to go as if he has any power over what I do or don’t do.”
“And you’re going, anyway?”
“Are you listening to yourself, Aunt Juliette? Yes, I’m going. This is business.”
“Roman isn’t the type of man to stop you from growing. He isn’t that petty.”
“Yet that’s exactly what he’s doing. I’m thinking—”
“What are you thinking, sweetie?”
I looked over at Knox and was afraid to say the words out loud. I didn’t want to put them in the air. I didn’t want the universe to think for even a second that, that’s what I wanted, but I said it anyway.
“That we are not a good match for each other anymore. That we made a mistake.”
“Nonsense.” She slapped the top of her thigh for emphasis.
“You saw him back there. Six months ago he would have never let me leave without holding me and saying he loves me.”
“And how about you? I didn’t see you say goodbye either.”
I said nothing in response because everything she said was accurate. I was being just as stubborn as Roman, but that’s because I’m right.
“Just don’t let too much time go by without rectifying this, Bitsy. You can never get back time lost. Trust me, I know.”
Once Jacob and I arrive back to the main administration building, we head to his office where there’s a small spread waiting for us that includes a variety of deli sandwiches and chips. There’s still a rather enormous elephant in the room that I decide I should squash now. I’m not sure exactly how much Jacob heard, but I know that I probably need to say something or this entire meeting is going to be excruciatingly long.
“So I wanted to explain what happened the other day.”
“Oh?” He pretends as if he hasn’t the faintest idea of what I’m referring to.
“When we lost connection.”
“Oh, yes. One minute you were there and the next you weren’t.”
“My fiancé accidentally pulled the power out of the wall, and then my son needed me.” I’m not sure if he knows that I’m lying through my teeth, but I hope it’s a plausible enough excuse for us to move on. “That’s why I didn’t get right back to you.”
“No worries, Elizabeth. I thought it was something like that.”
Our meeting gets back on track and I am showing Jacob a cost analysis of the app’s implementation on a budget spreadsheet I created when I feel my cell phone vibrate for the first time in about an hour. It better not be Patricia again,
I think to myself, but it’s not.
It’s Jade.
And when I check my notifications, I see that there are thirteen missed calls from her.
“I need to take this.”
“Sure.”
I grab my phone and head out into the hallway.
“Hello?” I answer with an attitude. How dare Roman use his assistant to communicate with me when he couldn’t even say two words to me this morning.
“Bitch!” Jade is crying hysterically. “Why didn’t you pick up the phone?”
A foreboding chill covers my skin. Jade is not the emotional type. Something must be very wrong.
“What is it, Jade?” I ask reluctantly. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Roman.”
“What about him?”
A tear rolls down my face in anticipation of whatever she’s going to tell me. I know whatever it is isn’t good.
“They shot him, Elizabeth. Those fuckers shot him.”
At first, I can hardly breathe.
Next begins the uncontrollable watering inside of my mouth.
And now I’ve finally thrown my entire lunch up.
Jacob finds me on my knees, crouching in pain, and covered in vomit.
“My God, Elizabeth, let me get you a doctor.”
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and look up at him through tear-filled eyes.
“No, Jacob, I need to go home now.”
And then I pray to God for a miracle.
18
ROMAN
I can smell the salty waters of the Atlantic Ocean as I glide down the coast in my yacht. The sun reflects off the side of Elizabeth’s face in a way that makes her look almost ethereal. She’s never looked more happy and it makes me feel like a superhero knowing that I put that smile on her face. Then there’s my son. He’s jumping with joy in his favorite car bouncer toy that he loves. Not a care in the world.
Oblivious to the subtle rock of the waves, Elizabeth continues to beam as the staff serves us a sumptuous brunch, and after the night of fucking we’ve had, we need to replenish. She dips her pinky finger in a small bowl of applesauce and slides it inside Knox’s mouth. He abruptly stops his jumping and savors the fresh taste. His reaction to food entertains me. He’s a boy after my own heart. I can’t wait for him to try a peanut M&M one day. The perfect food. He’s going to love them.
As the ship takes a slight turn toward our destination, I realize something. I don’t know where the hell we’re going. I don’t remember giving the captain a destination plan. Are we going north to the Cape or are we headed south toward Miami? I have real estate in both places. I just don’t remember what we decided.
I open my mouth to ask Elizabeth if she remembers where we’re headed, knowing damn well that she’s probably planned some child friendly outings wherever we’re going, but… I can’t.
This is not like me.
Something is strange.
Every time I try to open my mouth and ask her a question, she can’t hear me. Why can’t she hear me? My heart feels like it wants to burst outside of my chest and not in a good way. I think this is what true fear feels like. I know something is very wrong and that I am at the center of it, but what?
Then the scene changes.
Now I’m in an empty parking lot and it looks sort of familiar, but I can’t quite place the area. There’s a woman in a car and from a distance she looks like Elizabeth. Is it her? There’s a man tugging at the car door, trying to pull her out by her hair. Her beautiful curly hair. It is her!
I run toward them. The closer I get, the more the man’s appearance alters. He’s blond and big and ugly. It’s Sergei. I swing on him hard and knock him to the ground. As I kick him in the back, another man comes for me. I don’t know his name, but I recognize his face.
“You want some too?” I antagonize him.
“Da.”
The man pulls out a large switchblade, but little does he know I’ve had my share of knife fights. The key is to disarm your assailant quickly. I kick him easily in the kneecap and when he bowls over; I kick his wrist and the knife goes flying across the blacktop. Now the fight’s a fair one and we go blow for blow for several minutes until I see her.
The head bitch has Elizabeth by the throat and is taking her away. I can see the fear in her eyes. She mouths the words I love you as the woman moves out of my line of vision.
And now I can’t see her at all.
I wake up in a sweaty haze like I’ve done after a night of some seriously bad drugs, but as soon as my eyes regain focus the pain kicks in. There are thin tubes of mysterious liquids being intravenously fed to my veins and none of them are pain killers? What kind of shit hospital am I in?
The first thing I do is look for her, but she is not in this room, and that’s how I know that things are far worse than I could ever imagine. Perhaps my nightmares and actual life are slowly morphing into some sort of twisted new reality.
I feel around for the corded button that is usually attached to hospital beds so I can call a nurse. I want to know where I am and how I got here. Ah, that’s right, the Russian bitch is real, and she is the reason I’m laid up in here and why I need to leave.
I press the call button with my thumb over and over until a nurse who looks all of twenty-one finally enters the room.
“Hello, Mr. Masterson. Welcome back,” she says brightly.
It’s difficult for me to respond because my throat feels unusually tight and constricted.
“Here let me help you sit up.”
“My family,” I try saying.
The nurse either cannot hear me or is ignoring my plea as she adjusts the height of the bed and fluffs the pillows behind my back.
“There that should help. Now, how about a small sip of water?”
She picks up a Styrofoam cup filled with water that has my name written in ballpoint pen ink on it. She holds the straw to my lips and I take a long sip, hoping that it will soothe some of the rawness I feel. I need to ask her where Elizabeth is.
“There now, why don’t you try speaking again so I can help you.”
“My family,” I say. “Where is my family?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Masterson, but I only came on shift an hour ago. I have seen none of your visitors, but I’ll ask someone at the desk if they’ve seen anyone. I’m sure someone was here earlier.”
“My phone.”
“I’ll check. By the way, I’m Karen, your nurse for this shift. If you need anything else tonight, I’m your girl.”
Karen rummages through a plastic bag filled with some of my belongings. The bloody clothes I was wearing are in the bag, but no phone. Damn, I forgot that the Russians have it and my identification, which leads me to my next question.
“How do you know my name?”
“It says it right here on your chart. Roman Masterson.”
“Yes, but how do you know that?” I cough. “Who brought me here?”
“I’ll check with the desk. Give me a sec.”
When Karen returns, she lets me know that it was Camden who brought and registered me to the emergency room, but that was over eight hours ago. I’ve been in this hospital for eight hours and Elizabeth still isn’t here? Did that scumbag Sergei get his hands on her? Shit, I’ve got to get out of here.
I try moving, but my body feels like a wet bag of cement. It’s a struggle to move any of my limbs.
Fuckkkk!
One of the monitors connected to me beeps faster and louder than before. Karen rushes back inside my room.
“Your blood pressure is going up, Mr. Masterson.” She places her hand on one of my shoulders. “Please calm down and stop moving around so much.”
I want to tell her to fuck off, but I can tell it would be wasted on Suzy sunshine.
“Are you in pain? I can increase the morphine drip if we need to.”
I shake my head no as I try to calm myself. The last thing I need is to be comatose while I figure out how I’m going to get my ass out
of this bed and get to my family.
“Oh, I almost forgot, the previous shift left a sticky note on your chart. The directions were to give it to you once you woke up.”
The note simply reads: I got you. -Cam
An unfamiliar emotion fills my chest and clouds my head. I am so frustrated that I could cry, and I don’t think I’ve really cried since I first found my mother passed out in our apartment and thought she was dead. I feel utterly helpless.
I am furious at Camden for leaving me in a hospital alone with no word about my family except for the cryptic-ass sticky note he left. I love that boy like a brother, but the next time I see him, I’m kicking his ass.
“I’ll be right back, Mr. Masterson.”
Karen returns with a fresh bag of liquid to attach to my IV. I try lifting my arm to stop hers but it won’t cooperate so I just stare menacingly at her instead. The little girl doesn’t even flinch. In fact, I almost think she thinks this is foreplay. She can’t keep her eyes off of my ink.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Masterson.” She grins. “I’m just replenishing your fluids and giving you a little something to calm you down so you can rest.”
“I don’t want to rest!” I scream inside of my head, but whatever poison she injects into my veins works its magic and weighs heavily on my eyelids until they both shut completely.
I have no choice but to allow myself to drift off into a state of medicated unrest. The only thing I can hope for is that I’ll see Elizabeth and Knox in my dreams.
19
ROMAN
“Where are they?”
As soon as my eyes open again the first thing I do is search for Elizabeth and Knox. Sadly, they’re not here, but my assistant Jade is. Her small body is crouched like a tiger in a hospital room chair, not paying me any attention, wearing a crooked smile as she texts someone.
“They’re not here yet,” she responds while still typing on her phone.
“Why?”
I try turning on my side so she’ll look at me.
Masterson Made Page 10
