* * *
The next morning, Raven sat in bed with her daughter suckling at her breast and Jet curled up beside her. She touched the tip of her finger to the palm of Indi’s tiny hand and she curled her little fist around it, gripping tightly.
Riley poked her head in the door. “Could I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, sure.”
She came in and sat on the bed next to Raven and leaned over to watch Indigo, smiling down at her.
“She’s gorgeous, Rave. She’s got your hair, for sure.”
Raven laughed, her eyes glued to Indigo. Her daughter’s short black hair stuck straight up. Her delicate nose was Raven’s, but she could also see some of Ena in her. “I just wish my mom was here to meet her.” Raven bent her head, pressing her lips to Indi’s silky hair and hiccuped. She squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to force back the tears.
“You don’t still blame yourself for Ena’s death, do you? It wasn’t your fault, Rave.”
Raven thought of Ena’s letter saying that it was easier to forgive others than it was to forgive yourself. She was so right. “I’m working on it.”
“Mick told me you’ve been seeing a therapist regularly.”
Raven’s shoulders tensed. “That doesn’t have anything to do with our relationship.” Damn Mick and her big mouth.
“Doesn’t it though? Didn’t your past cause you to be so insecure that you sought comfort in Jaxon’s bed when I wasn’t there for you.”
In a way, it’s my fault you slept with Jax. Riley’s words from last night came back to her. “My behaviour wasn’t your fault.”
“No, I’ve come to the realization I have to take some of the responsibility for what happened to our relationship. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, Rave. And for that, I’m so sorry.”
Tears pooled in Raven’s ice blue eyes. “I’m sorry, too. I never meant to hurt you, Riley.”
“I know,” Riley said with tears forming in her own eyes. “I love you, Rave. I’ve never stopped loving you.”
“You said to me once I was too closed off, that you couldn’t be in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.”
“I think I understand now why you’re like that. I didn’t know about the trauma in your past when I said that.”
“I’m learning to open up more. I’m trying anyway.”
“But you still won’t tell me why you slept with Jax?”
Raven sighed. “Do you remember what I told you the day you left for Toronto?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“I gave you the answer to your question that day, Ri. At least, I gave you enough to figure it out.” She searched Riley’s eyes for a sign she understood, that she figured it out, but it wasn’t there.
“You told me a bunch of stuff about Adara and how you could have prevented Ena’s death if you hadn’t been blocking out your powers. I don’t understand, Rave. Why can’t you just tell me?”
Raven glanced down at Indigo when she stopped suckling and found her asleep. She moved Indigo to her shoulder and gently rubbed her back.
“Because if Jax ever found out, it would kill him.”
Riley’s mouth dropped open and her eyes narrowed. “All this time you’ve refused to tell me why because you’re worried about hurting Jax’s feelings?” She rose from the bed and took a step back.
That stabbing pain was back in Raven’s chest. She couldn’t take any more of this. “I couldn’t risk you telling him.”
“You think I can’t keep a secret?”
“Riley, you told Kiran what Gregor did to me.”
“That was different, Rave.”
“Was it? Did you realize how much that might hurt Kiran, knowing if he’d come back a few years earlier that would have never happened to me?”
“Oh, my God.” Riley’s eyes pooled and she bent over, bracing her hands on her knees. “You said Adara wouldn’t let anyone come between you and her. What did she do, Rave? Was I getting in the way? Is that it?”
Raven just watched her. Riley’s eyes darted back and forth as if she was reading and then she sank to her haunches and covered her head with her arms. “She put a spell on you. That’s why you slept with him.”
When she lifted her head, Riley rubbed her hands over her face as tears spilled out of her eyes. “And I pushed you away. I left you alone to deal with all of the crap that was happening in your life.”
“No, don’t do that. I cheated on you. You had every right to push me away.”
“If I’d known the reason, I would have been there for you, Rave.”
“I didn’t know the reason myself until just before we arrested Adara. I couldn’t give you a reason because I didn’t understand it myself. I couldn’t figure out what the hell got in to me.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me when you found out?”
Indigo let out a dainty burp then snuggled into Raven’s shoulder. Raven wanted to weep at the innocence in her arms.
“Think about it, Ri. If someone put a spell on you so you slept with someone you had no sexual attraction to, how would you feel?”
“I’d feel like I’d been … Oh, my God. You’re worried Jaxon will feel like he raped you?”
“Why would I feel like I raped you?” Jaxon’s voice was short, clipped. Raven and Riley looked up to see him standing in the doorway, hands fisted tightly at his sides and a scowl on his face.
“For fuck sakes.” Raven scooted to the edge of the bed wearing just a t-shirt and panties and got up to lay Indigo in her cradle. She covered her with a blanket and then grabbed a pair of sweat pants from her dresser, shoving her legs into them and yanking them up. She would have stormed out of the room if she didn’t have to walk gingerly. Riley and Jax followed her into the living room where Mick stood, wide eyed.
“Rave, why would I feel like I raped you?” Jax yelled.
“Shhh,” Mick whispered. “You’ll wake the baby.”
Raven eased herself down onto the couch and dropped her face into her hands. “Fuck.” Now she’d have to tell him. She had no choice. “The reason I slept with you …”
Jax took a deep breath and sat on the coffee table facing Raven. “I’ve known you most of your life, Rave. I know you have no sexual interest in men. I figured you slept with me because you wanted to get pregnant.”
Raven’s head flew up and she met Jax’s eyes. “What? No.”
“Then why?”
Raven closed her eyes wishing she could make them all disappear. “Adara’s powers weren’t very strong. She didn’t have the power to do a lot of the things she was doing.”
“So she was getting them from someone else,” Jax said.
He was well-versed in witchcraft and Wicca. Raven didn’t have to explain it all to him. “Yes.”
“She was soaking up your powers.”
“Yes. Probably for years.”
“To do that, she’d need to be around you a lot. Is that the reason you and your mom never made up? Did she keep you apart?”
Dear Goddess, she loved that he got it. Raven nodded. “And I was spending too much time with Riley. So she did something that she thought would break us up.”
Jaxon shot to his feet. Both of his hands sunk into his hair and he rubbed furiously. “Jesus H. Christ. She put a spell on us, is that what you’re saying? Jesus fucking Christ.”
His long legs took him to the front door and it slammed behind him. The baby began wailing as Mick took off after Jax. Raven started to push up from the couch, but Riley waved her back.
“I’ll get her. Just breathe for a few minutes.”
* * *
By the time Indigo was settled again, Kiran was in Raven’s living room. She left him with Riley and took a long, hot shower. When she walked out of the bathroom, the first thing she noticed was Indigo was no longer in her cradle. She dressed quickly and found Kiran sitting in the easy chair, gazing lovingly down at the baby in his arms. Riley sat on the arm of the chair wearing the same dreamy exp
ression on her face.
“You guys.”
They both looked up and grinned.
“I want her to get used to sleeping in her own bed. I don’t want to be one of these parents who ends up having their kids sleeping with them all the time.” It was kind of like having a crate for your dog so they wouldn’t sleep on your bed. Once they started, you were stuck with them hogging the bed and the covers.
“I couldn’t help myself, love. I didn’t get the chance to do this with you.”
Raven couldn’t help herself either. She sat on the other arm of Kiran’s chair and joined them gawking at her baby. Kiran had retired from the Royal Navy when they travelled to Scotland the past summer. Not only did he want to get to know his daughter and his granddaughter, he wanted to be there to help Raven with her baby so she could continue to work in the job she loved. It hadn’t take long for Raven to figure out her father was the best.
Jet sat at Kiran’s feet, staring up at them like they were all nuts. Then she climbed up the leg of Raven’s sweats and padded over to look down at Indigo. She nuzzled her cheek and purred.
“Aww,” Riley said. “I think Indigo has a protector.”
Kiran bent over and brushed a soft kiss over Indigo’s forehead. “She’s going to need it.” He looked up at Raven. “And we need to make sure you’re well protected.”
Raven rolled her eyes. She understood why Ena had been concerned, especially after Adara stole her powers, but she could protect herself now that she knew there may be a threat. She couldn’t see witches seeking her out to steal her power. Then again, she’d been out of the Wiccan loop for so long, she may be a bit naive. “I can cast some protection spells and I’ve got the talisman you gave me.”
The door opened and Jaxon and Mick walked in. Jax pulled a watch cap from his head and wrung it in his hands. “Sorry about walking out. I needed some air.”
Raven stood and faced him, unsure what to say.
“Could I have a word with you in private, Rave?” Jax asked.
“Yeah, sure.”
Raven led him into the office then shoved her hand in her hair as she turned to face him. An antique mahogany desk sat by the window with a massive iMac centred on it. On the other side of the room, she’d set up her altar on a long table that resembled a hutch. Like the desk, it was antique mahogany with intricate carvings on the legs and sides. A purple altar cloth lay across its surface with her tools, candles, incense, and crystals.
Jax wrung his hat as if it was soaked. She half expected his eyes to start bleeding, they looked that hurt.
“Do you feel like I raped you?”
“No.” She took a step toward him and stopped herself. “I feel like Adara raped us both.”
His cheeks flushed bright red. “Well, it was no hardship for me, babe.” He ducked his head as if trying to hide his smile. “It was my every fantasy come true.”
“Jax,” Raven huffed.
“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud.” Waving his hat towards her altar, he said, “You’re really getting back into it, aren’t you.”
“Yeah.” Ena had been right in that, too. “It’s who I am.”
“True that.” Jax stepped towards Raven and brushed his knuckles down her cheek. “I’m sorry for what Adara did, Rave. But, I can’t regret the result. We made a beautiful child together and for that I am forever grateful.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek where his fingers had caressed her.
She had the sense it was a goodbye kiss. Not in the sense that he was leaving her, but in the sense he was letting go of his desire for her. He was, finally, ready to move on. With tears blurring her vision, Raven watched Jax retreat.
* * *
With Kiran, Jax, and Mick doting over Indigo, Raven stepped up behind Riley and whispered, “Let’s go for a walk.”
“Are you sure your up for that? You just gave birth.”
“We won’t go far. I need a little air.”
A short walk in the cool air, surrounded by nature, was just what Raven needed to clear her head and tell Riley what she needed to say. They bundled up and headed up the driveway to the quiet road. Raven stuck her hands in her coat pockets and Riley slid her arm through Raven’s, leaning into her. She’d longed for that connection for the past nine months. Now she finally had it, guilt ate at her over what she was about to do. They walked in silence for a bit as Raven tried to figure out how to start.
Before she got a word out, Riley asked, “Why is Kiran so worried about Indigo’s and your safety?”
“Ah.” It took Raven a minute to switch out of what she was thinking to figure out how to explain. “My heritage makes me one of the most powerful witches in existence. So they tell me anyway. It makes me a target for witches like Adara who want more power.”
“And Indigo will have those powers?”
“We won’t know until she’s older, but it’s highly likely she will have great powers.”
“Like your ability to heal? I envy you. Do you know what I’d give to be able to heal like that?”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t be able to use those powers at the hospital. You can’t draw attention to it.”
“Why the hell not? You’ve got the ability to do so much good. Why should you have to hide it?”
“I think you know why. People don’t understand it, so they don’t accept it. They judge something they know nothing about. That’s why I stopped using my powers when I was a kid. I could hear their judgements, their criticism, and I couldn’t stand it. I just wanted to be normal.”
“I get that, but it’s sad.”
“I’ve constructed so many walls around my heart that it’s going to take some time to knock them down.”
“I know.”
“When I left Ena’s, I wanted nothing more than for her to come and find me. I never stopped wanting that. The longer she didn’t, the more resentful I grew. At the same time, I didn’t want her to come for me because I was afraid she’d find out what happened with Gregor and he’d kill her.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you, Rave. You were only fifteen.”
“I felt like she abandoned me.”
“Well, that I can understand.” Riley’s birth mother gave her up for adoption when she was born. She tried to find her biological mother after her adoptive parents passed away when she was in high school. It was what brought her to Solstice. She was born in the Huntsville hospital, but that was all the information she had.
“I thought Adara was the one person I could trust and she ended up being the last person I should have. I feel like I can’t trust my own intuition, my own gut.”
“Oh, Rave.” Riley stopped walking, her grip on Raven’s arm forcing Raven to stop as well. “You have great instincts. Don’t question them because of that woman. I mean, she fooled everyone, even Ena.”
“I know, logically, you’re probably right, but I just haven’t been able to get there yet. I feel guilty for Ena’s death-”
“Rave-”
“No, please. Let me finish.” She stared into Riley’s eyes until she nodded. “What I’m trying to say is that I have a lot of work to do on myself, Ri. Before I can be in a relationship.”
Riley’s jaw dropped and a puff of air shot out as her warm breath met the icy air.
“Are you saying I’m too late? Are we done?”
Raven pulled her hand out of her pocket and cupped Riley’s cheek. “No, I’m asking for time to get my head on straight. How can I be who you need if I don’t love and respect myself first? I know the pain of losing you, Riley. I don’t ever want to feel that again. I want to make sure that I don’t screw it up this time.”
“And if you meet someone else in the meantime?”
Raven couldn’t help but smile as she brushed her thumb over Riley’s cheek. “The reason I haven’t been with anyone since we broke up is because I don’t want to be with anyone but you. I love you, Ri. That’s never changed. I just need some time to work on being a better pe
rson for you.”
“You already have changed a lot, Rave. This is the most you’ve opened up to me in the four years we’ve known each other.”
“I’m trying.”
As they walked back to the cottage, Riley entwined her fingers with Raven’s. In less than twenty-four hours, Raven’s world had tilted back into sync. For the first time, she felt like she could be a good mother and maybe, if she worked hard enough at it, she’d even deserve Riley’s love again. Her heart soared with fresh hope at the idea of raising Indigo with Riley at her side.
COMING SOON
Watch for Something Wiccan This Way Comes - Book 2 in the Solstice Coven Series, coming to your favourite online bookstore in 2020.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Wendy writes mainly crime fiction with a hint of romance featuring strong female protagonists. She brings a vast array of life experience to her pages having held jobs on cruise ships in the Caribbean, addiction counsellor at a private addictions treatment centre, and years of experience in the security field.
She enjoys learning and holds diplomas in creative writing, forensic sciences, and law & security, to name a few.
When Wendy’s not writing, you’ll find her engrossed in the pages of a good book, out riding her bike, or spending quality time with her family.
She aspires to empower and inspire women as well as foster their healing with her novels.
Other Titles from Wendy Hewlett
The Taylor Sinclair Series
(Must be read in order)
Saving Grace
Unfinished Business
Runed
Trafficked (Coming Soon)
Stand Alone Novels
Ailey of Skye
Visit the author’s website at: wendyhewlett.com and sign up for her Monthly Newsletter to stay up to date on news, new releases, giveaways, and more.
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Reviews are the bread and butter of an Indie Author’s career. Please take a moment to write a quick review where you purchased this book. It is greatly appreciated and allows Wendy to continue writing and publishing page-turning novels with wonderful, strong female protagonists.
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