by Brook Wilder
I left Cora where she was, afraid that if I touched her now, I would throttle her to death. Damn her for putting me in this situation, making me question everything I had known about her, everything I had believed her to be.
I knew that fucker had wanted her, but had he succeeded?
Chains walked into the house, snarling at those that were in the shell of a kitchen. “Out.”
Everyone scattered and he slammed the door closed. “Tell me what the fuck is going on.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, making my expression devoid of any emotion. Now was not the time or the place. “She can be trusted. I’ve been with her for nearly a month. She’s not working with him.”
Chains raked a hand through his hair. “Is this your head or your dick doing the talking?”
“I’m telling you to trust me,” I growled, not wanting to think about what I had done hours earlier or the fucking dam she had opened inside my chest. “I know what I’m doing.”
Chains sighed, slumping against the counter. “What a fucking mess. Fine, I’ll back you, but the moment she shows any other side, I’m handing her to Mama Bear. You understand?”
“I got it,” I said tightly. “I will take care of it myself if that happens.”
Chains’ keen eyes bore into mine. “You got feelings for this girl.”
It wasn’t a question. “She’s the mother of my kid. The one I told you about before.”
Chains looked startled. “What?”
“The kid,” I repeated. “She’s saying it’s mine.”
“Aw hell,” Chains whispered, glancing out the window. “You believe her?”
Well, I had until five fucking minutes ago. I didn’t want to second-guess Cora or her intentions, but that tiny seed of doubt had just grown by leaps and bounds. What if I wasn’t the father?
Chains let out a harsh laugh. “Never mind. I see the doubt on your face. Well, I’ll follow your lead, but be careful. This shit … It’s not good.”
I didn’t answer, pulling open the door and stepping out. All eyes were on me as I walked over to Cora, averting my eyes from hers. I didn’t want to see what was there.
Why hadn’t she told me?
“Well?” Mama Bear asked, arching a brow. “You done with your little meeting?”
“Careful,” Widow Maker said in a deadly calm voice. “You have no authority here and I will have you removed, either by force or willingly, if you step across those lines.”
Mama Bear seemed to concede to her former president, but there was a spark of defiance in her eyes, one that I wasn’t keen on dealing with—not with a loaded gun in her hand.
I cleared my throat, pulling out my gun and placing it at my side, tapping the nozzle against my leg. “I’m standing by her, and you are gonna have to go through me for whatever you have planned.” I had just put not only my life on the line, but also my reputation in this club.
Cora gasped next to me, but I ignored her, my eyes on the former Bitch. We had fought long and hard next to each other and she knew I was a man of my word. I would kill her before I allowed anyone to touch Cora.
Why I was defending her, I wasn’t so sure. Everything was conflicted in my thoughts now; everything that I had worked out so well in my head seemed to be not as easy as it had felt like the first go-round.
And Cora. Hell, why hadn’t she told me everything? She was putting me in a bad place, a place I didn’t want to be with her.
Instead of rushing me, Mama Bear gave me a curious smile. “Why are you defending her so much, Halftrack? I mean, you’ve been known to get around, but defending a chick like this? What are you not telling us?”
I straightened, giving her a hard smile. It was time to let it all out there and see what she thought about this little bombshell. “She’s the mother of my kid.”
Chapter 19
Cora
I heard Clayton’s words, my ears buzzing in the sudden silence that had fallen over the crowd. He had just laid claim to my daughter in front of dozens of witnesses and while that should have been a defining moment for me, I felt empty inside.
Mainly because I hadn’t told him everything he had asked me to tell him. I had withheld secrets that had now come to light from the mouth of a stranger and given the look on his face, I doubted Clayton even trusted me now.
It was my own fault.
Tears crowded my eyes and I forced them back, keeping my eyes trained on Mama Bear and not on Amy’s lifeless body still lying in the dirt. I hated the woman. She had murdered my friend in cold blood.
But as she had done so, her words about Amy had floated around in my dismal thoughts. Had I really missed something so horrible about her? Amy had always been there, her sweet demeanor the one bright spot in our lives at the bar. Had I been wrong about her? I shouldn’t have brought her here. She was dead because of me.
“Your kid,” Mama Bear was saying, her eyes narrowing. “And you believe her?”
“Yeah, I do,” he answered, his gun still in his hand. When he had pulled it out, my heart had leapt into my throat at the horrible image of him lying there where Amy was, his own blood spilled out on the ground. I didn’t want him to be killed because of me.
I wasn’t worth it.
But clearly Clayton thought differently, and I felt horrible about the position I had put him in with his own club. It wasn’t my intention to come between what was important to him, yet I had done exactly that. He was standing up for me and I felt horrible about it.
Mama Bear shook her head, chuckling to herself. “Well, my friend, you got yourself into some shit then.”
“That’s an understatement,” he said lightly. I stole a glance at him, and my heart twisted at the sight of his hard expression, a far cry from the tenderness he had shown me hours ago. Just when I was letting my guard down, I screwed it all up.
“I won’t kill her then,” Mama Bear finally said. “Only because of you, Halftrack.” She then turned her attention on me. “That man is one of the best. If you are lying about your kid, I will personally hunt you down and finish this. You understand?”
I glared at her, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing she had scared me. I knew who my baby’s father was and up until a few moments ago, everything was starting to look up for us.
“I’ll vouch for her,” Chains stated, looking out over the crowd. “She’s brought us valuable information and I’ve got no reason to think that she’s working for the cartel. We have been able to take out multiple shipments, hurting the cartel’s income in the process. Without that list, none of that would have been possible.”
“I understand,” Mama Bear answered, glancing at Amy’s prone body. “But you might want to be careful who you associate yourself with from now on. They come in all sorts of disguises.”
“Duly noted,” Widow Maker stated, stepping forward. “You will get rid of this body since it was your handiwork. What’s going on now is club business and you aren’t part of this club anymore.”
Again, there was that hurt expression that crossed Mama Bear’s face. But she kept her mouth shut and motioned for her followers to pick up Amy’s body. I cringed as I watched them drag her body away. The congealed blood, bones, and brains on the ground made me nauseous.
Once Mama Bear and her members were gone from sight, Widow Maker turned to the group. “We will handle this as two clubs working together. She doesn’t deserve execution, but I do think she deserves to be banned from the premises. We can’t have her bringing others that could give away our location or our plans.”
I opened my mouth to speak but Clayton silenced me with a hard stare, the tiniest shake of his head telling me it wasn’t a good idea to do so. I was no longer allowed to say anything about what happened now.
“I agree,” Chains said, coming to stand beside her. “All in favor, raise your hand.”
One by one, each biker in attendance raised his or her hand, eyes watching my reaction. When it came to Clayton, I silently pleaded for him
to back the majority. Red was likely looking for me, and I had no idea how to protect my family.
I needed him and his club.
When his hand rose along with the others, I felt hope fall into despair. It wasn’t his fault. I had done this to him. I had forced his hand.
“Then it’s settled,” Widow Maker announced. “Cora is banished from the premises. Halftrack, you brought her. You get rid of her.”
I cringed at the harshness of her words, watching as the young woman walked off. It was done. I was on my own.
Clayton walked over and grabbed my arm none-too-gently. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Silently, I held my head high as I walked past them all, through the house and out to my car, where he directed me to the passenger side. He wasn’t taking any chances apparently.
I climbed in, too exhausted to argue. All I wanted now was to go home, hold my daughter tight, and cry for everything I had lost in the span of an hour: Amy, whatever I had with Clayton, potentially my life.
Clayton climbed in and we set off back down the dirt road, the tension so thick that I felt suffocated by it. I didn’t know what to say to him or how to even begin to apologize for what I hadn’t told him.
But it wasn’t what Mama Bear had made it out to be. I hadn’t been pimped out by Red, not even close.
“Tell me what happened.”
His words cut through me, the biting edge warning me not to lie to him again. I didn’t want this between us, this distrust, this uncertainty when I thought everything was starting to right itself in my life.
Most of all, I didn’t want Clayton to look at me like he had back at the clubhouse.
“It was only once,” I finally forced out, my voice unfamiliar to my own ears. “He withheld my paycheck and told me he would turn me in for stealing from the register if I didn’t do it. I had just found out I was pregnant with Amelia and didn’t want to go to jail.”
If I had, there had been a good chance I would be there for a while, and I had been scared to death that they would take my child away from me. “I went to the car and there was a guy there, one that was some high-ranking member of the cartel.”
He hadn’t used protection and the things he had made me do were both degrading and horrible. After it was all over with, I had gone to the alley and thrown up everything I had eaten that day, ashamed for what I had allowed Red to bully me into.
“Did you ever fuck him?”
He wasn’t talking about anyone but Red. “No,” I said softly. “He forced me to give him oral sex numerous times, but never to that point.” For that, I was grateful.
Clayton didn’t comment, but I saw his hands flex on the steering wheel regardless. The anger was rolling off him in waves and there was a small piece of me that wanted to believe it wasn’t all because of what I hadn’t told him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I sighed, leaning back on the headrest. “Because it was my shameful secret to keep.” I just hadn’t known someone was watching my every move. First the photos and now Mama Bear’s admission. It creeped me out to know that everything I had done had involved eyes following me around, memorizing everything I did, good or bad. “Because I didn’t want you to look at me in disgust.”
Clayton bit back an oath as he pulled the car over and I realized we had made it back to my apartment, dusk settling in the backdrop. A light was on in the kitchen, which told me Emily had come back here with Amelia after her ousting at the club.
I needed for them to stay safe. I no longer cared what happened to me, but I wanted my sister and my daughter to continue on with their lives after this was all done. Amelia was the only thing I had done right in my life and she didn’t deserve to suffer because of her mother’s bad choices.
“Is she mine?”
I turned to face Clayton, desperately wanting to reach out and smooth the hardness of his jaw, to feel the stubble under my fingers. Had that mouth truly brought me to orgasm? Had it worshipped my body feverishly as if he was feeling something as well? “You’ve seen her,” I replied. “You tell me.”
“Cora,” he started, his voice weary. “Just tell me the damn truth. Is she mine or not?”
“She’s yours,” I bit out, tired of being accused of doing everything wrong today. “She’s yours as much as she is mine and if you choose not to believe me, I can’t change your mind.”
“I don’t know what to believe,” he replied harshly. “You lied to me, Cora, even after I asked you not to.”
“And what would you have done, Clayton?” I shot back, desperation welling up in my veins. “I’m so sick and tired of being the person who is constantly questioned for what I have done. Have I screwed up? Yes, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t, or your precious club hasn’t, especially Mama Bear or whatever the fuck her name is.”
“This isn’t a personal attack on you,” he answered, his hard gaze causing me to shiver. “This is between us.”
“Is it?” I said angrily. “You didn’t even have the balls to vote against the rest of them.”
“I couldn’t!” he shouted. “Don’t you understand? The moment I did, I would have been ousted and then we really would be up shit creek.”
“All because you believe your club comes first,” I answered, forcing the passenger door open before I burst into tears in front of him. I was done. I couldn’t deal with this anymore. Clayton didn’t believe me, nor did he care, so I had no further words for him.
I climbed out of the car and he was there, his hands at his sides. “I’ll walk you up,” he offered stiffly.
I wanted to deck him. “Don’t bother,” I shot back, moving toward the stairs. “It’s not like you care if Red or anyone else is waiting for me up there.”
“Cora, dammit!” he called after me, but I was already on the stairs, taking them two at a time in an effort to get away from him. Once I reached my door, I stared down at him. “You’re an asshole,” I said angrily. “You’ve used me to get what you want and now it’s over with. Just don’t even bother worrying about me or my daughter. We have gotten along just fine without you this far.”
Clayton flinched but I didn’t care. He needed to hurt like I had hurt today. “Goodbye, Clayton.”
The door opened and I walked into the apartment, shutting it behind me. “Where have you been?” Emily asked, hurrying after me. “I was so worried! Why are you crying?”
I fell onto the couch, my head in my hands. “I’m such an idiot.” I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be happy with Clayton.
I had been completely wrong.
“Oh, Cora,” she said, falling onto the couch next to me, her arm around my quaking shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”
Yeah, so was I. “I thought I could have loved him.”
“Clayton?”
No, Santa Claus. I raised my head to look at my sister. “Yes. I hate him so much.”
She rubbed my back. “Somehow I don’t believe it and I don’t believe that he’s stopped caring for you either. I mean, he’s protected all of us so far. If that’s not love—”
“It’s not,” I cut her off, not wanting to think about how he had protected us or how he had held me close to his body, shielding me from the bad things beyond these walls. It didn’t matter. What was broken couldn’t be repaired. “I was wrong to think that in the first place.”
Emily eyed me. “Then why are you crying over him?”
***
Her words stayed with me long after she left as I watched Amelia sleep, lost in her own dreams. Even now I could see him in the delicate arch of her upper lip, similar to the one that I had kissed passionately in the bed only a few feet away. How could he deny her? I saw him in every feature, much more than I had seen before. “I’m so sorry, sweetie,” I whispered, touching her tiny hand. Because of me, she would not have her father in her life. Because of me, he was going to distance himself from his daughter, his own flesh and blood, due to the fact that he didn’t think she was his.
Because
of me, I had lost a chance at happiness.
A tear streaked down my cheek and I didn’t bother to wipe it away. I would just chalk it up to the numerous things I had done wrong in my life. I didn’t hate Clayton. I doubted I could ever hate him, really.
I loved him.
My heart clenched in my chest and I rubbed the spot, attempting to erase the ache. I loved Clayton. It was crazy to think I did, given the short amount of time that I had known him. But something had broken loose last night, something that had given me a glimpse of what kind of man he really was, and I had fallen for him.
Only to be hurt in the long run.
