They didn’t see me, however, and I was able to duck silently into one of the stalls, still clutching my towel and pajamas. I waited as patiently as I could, listening to the deep, masculine voices raised in shouts and laughter along with the tantalizing splash of water against tile.
I thought about getting undressed and putting on my towel but I couldn’t get the courage to do it. Just the idea of being naked in a room full of men—even if they thought I was one of them—made my heart stutter in my chest. One thing I could do, however, was unwrap the constrictive bandage around my breasts. Reaching under my shirt, I did that and breathed a sigh of relief at my freedom. My breasts ached from being constricted all day but I told myself I would have to get used to it. I folded the wide bandage into a small, compact package and hid it in my pile of clothes as I waited.
Finally the shouts and yells of the other cadets died away to nothing and the last slapping footsteps of bare feet against tile faded in the distance. Feeling encouraged, I decided it was safe to get undressed. Swiftly, I stripped off the clothing I’d been wearing all day and grabbed my dark blue towel. I was just unlocking the stall door to step out into the steamy, silent air when it was jerked out of my hands and pulled open.
I gasped and pulled my towel high, covering myself just in time.
“Who’re you? And why aren’t you back in your room? It’s past RLO.” The man peering down at me was older than a cadet and had a frown on his face. I saw he was wearing soft-soled shoes—no wonder I hadn’t heard him coming.
“I…I’m K-Kris Jameson,” I stuttered. “I’m new here. Who are you?”
“Lackson. Dorm monitor.” His frown deepened. “You know what the penalty for missing RLO is?”
“I…I’m sorry,” I said, trying to think fast. “I…my stomach…something I ate tonight in the mess hall disagreed with me, I think.”
His forbidding expression softened a little. “All right, that’s understandable. But you need to get moving back to your room. Had your shower, have you?”
Miserably, I nodded. I had never been more unhappy to tell a lie in my life but I was afraid if I told the truth and admitted I hadn’t had a shower, he would insist on watching me while I took one. And I couldn’t risk that.
“Good then. Back to your room.” He nodded in the direction of the hallway.
“I…but I…can’t I please get dressed first?” I asked pleadingly. But whatever small store of pity Lackson had appeared to have been used up.
“Get dressed in your room,” he said sternly. “Hurry up—march. I’m only letting you off licks because you’re new but this better not happen again.”
“Yes, sir,” I mumbled. Making sure my towel was wrapped tightly around my body and pressing my bundle of clothes to my chest, I left the shelter of the stall and forced myself to walk out to the hallway.
Never had I felt more humiliated or naked in my life. Somehow when I’d imagined my life at the Academy back on Dianna, I had never pictured a scenario quite like this—being forced to walk down a hallway wearing only a towel with a strange man. If this little incident was ever discovered, it would completely ruin any hopes I might have of making a respectable marriage—at least in Victoria. Then again, a respectable marriage was what I had been running from when I came here in the first place, so it was stupid to worry about ruining my prospects now.
“There you are.” The familiar deep voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked up to see North bearing down on me.
“North,” the dorm monitor barked. “What do you think you’re doing out past RLO. You want licks?”
“I’m just out searching for my roommate,” North gestured at me. “He’s new here and not too bright. Plus Broward and his crew have already taken a shine to him—see the face?” He pointed at my bruised cheek. “I thought he might be in trouble.”
“All right then—nice of you to look out for him,” Lackson said grudgingly. “But you show him the ropes and make sure he doesn’t stay out after RLO again. Next time it’s licks for both of you.”
“Yes, sir.” North nodded and grabbed my arm. “Come on, Jameson—can’t you keep out of trouble for five minutes?”
I let him drag me into the room but the minute the door was shut, I yanked away from him, nearly losing my towel in the process. I grabbed it hastily and held it protectively to my chest as I turned to face him.
“Leave me alone! And stop treating me like an idiot!”
“Stop acting like one then,” he shot back. “What were you doing, anyway? Hiding from Broward? I told you he won’t mess with you as long as I’m around.”
I could feel my cheeks getting hot. “I was just…just waiting until everyone left.”
“What, before you took a shower? Let me tell you, shrimp, that’s not going to work. The dorm monitor checks the entire bathroom and all the stalls after morning and evening shower time—it’s part of his job.”
I felt a bubble of despair welling in my chest. At home I had bathed morning and evening and often took a hot bubble bath after lunch to aid digestion. But now it seemed I was destined never to bathe again. What was I going to do?
Nothing to do now but get ready for bed, I told myself stoically. But how? North was standing right in front of me with the lamp on his desk still lit. There was no place private I could change into my pajamas except…
“Hey, what are you doing?” he demanded as I crammed myself into the tiny closet which held our uniforms.
“Changing,” I said. “Please leave me alone, I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Hey!” He slapped the wooden door with his palm, making me jump. “I told you I’m not like Wilkenson or Hinks. You don’t have to worry about me staring at you any more than I worry about you staring at me. So stop being an idiot and come out.”
“I’ll come out when I’m good and ready!” I struggled into the slightly too-big pajama top, glad it was loose enough to hide my chest.
“Fine. Why am I even bothering with you?" He sounded exasperated. "I’m going to bed. Stay in there all night if you want to—I don’t care.”
As I pulled up the floppy pajama pants, the dim light coming in from under the door was extinguished, leaving me in absolute darkness. I bundled the clothes I’d taken off under one arm and fumbled for the knob, letting myself out into the room.
“Finally out, huh?” North’s voice came from the darkness to my left. “And here I thought you’d decided to sleep in there.”
“Very funny,” I said, with as much dignity as I could. I was feeling my way forward, trying to navigate the dark and unfamiliar room as I spoke. “At least I—oh!” The last word was more of a scream. I had tripped over something large in the dark and found myself falling. I landed on something warm that shouted and jumped—North.
“What the—” He switched on a tiny handheld light and I saw by its faint glow that I had landed in his lap. His face, piercing blue eyes narrowed, was entirely too close to my own.
“I’m sorry!” I scrambled up as fast as I could and would have blundered forward into the blackness of the room if he hadn’t stopped me by grabbing my arm.
“You really are an idiot, aren’t you?” He sounded exasperated but also amused.
“I’m not—” I began.
“Just shut up and watch. I’ll light the way for you.” The faint light moved from his face and shone on the side of my bed, just a few feet away. “Your bed’s right there, see? Beside mine. And there’s a nightstand between them so don’t run into that—sharp corners aren’t fun in the dark.”
“I see,” I said stiffly. “You can let me go now.”
“Go on.” He released my arm. “Just be careful.”
“Thank you.” I made it safely to my bed and crawled under the covers with relief.
“Welcome,” North said gruffly. “Now go to sleep. We get up at oh-six hundred hours around here.”
“All right.” I turned on my side away from him, staring into the darkness and wondering why I felt so strang
e. Being close to Wilkenson earlier hadn’t made my stomach feel like it was full of butterflies. But landing in North’s lap made me decidedly giddy. I told myself I was just shaken from my fall and tried to settle down. Still my heart pounded and my palms felt damp.
I decided what I needed to relax was the soft, clear sounds of Kristopher’s violin. Luckily, I had placed the sound cube of his best practice sessions on my side of the nightstand between the beds. With a little quiet fumbling I found it and unwound the thin wires that connected to the speaker specks which I positioned in my ears. Then, keeping it on the lowest volume possible, I turned the cube on.
But listening to the sounds of my beloved and distant brother playing turned out to be a mistake. I couldn’t help picturing him in my mind, his long, delicate fingers at work, drawing the bow over the perfectly tuned strings of the violin he loved so much. The look of concentration on his face as he took the adagios and the pure rapture that shone in his eyes when the score reached a crescendo…
Oh Kristopher, I thought sorrowfully as I burrowed deeper into my covers. How am I ever going to make it here? How can I keep from exposing both of us when I can’t even find a way to get a shower? What am I going to do?
Though I had promised myself no more crying, I couldn’t stop the hot tears that rose to my eyes. Suddenly the whole day came crashing down on me—the fight with Broward, the misunderstanding with Wilkenson—who I would genuinely have liked for a friend—not to mention the fact that my roommate thought I was an idiot and hated sharing the room with me. And don’t forget that nasty rumor being spread about you, whispered a little voice in my brain. That’s sure to make you popular—for all the wrong reasons.
The tears were coming faster now, my chest heaving with sobs I couldn’t stop. I tried to muffle my sounds of grief in my pillow, but it didn’t help. Nothing helped.
“Hey.” A large warm hand covered my arm, temporarily startling me out of my crying jag.
“I…I’m sorry,” I said, my voice coming out broken and unhappy. “I know I’m interrupting your sleep. I’ll go b-back in the c-closet if you want.”
“No, it’s okay.” North sighed. “Look, if what you’re listening to is making you homesick, just turn it off.”
Realizing it was probably a good idea, I turned off the cube and pulled the specks from my ears.
“That’s better,” he said approvingly. “Don’t do that to yourself, okay? Especially not on the first night. The first night is always the hardest. But it does get easier—I promise.”
“Really?” I couldn’t see how it would but somehow just hearing his deep voice speaking so softly in the darkness made me feel calmer.
“Really.” The big warm hand squeezed my arm. “Better now?”
“I guess so.” I blotted my eyes on my sleeve and sniffed. “Sorry, I guess it’s not very, uh, manly to cry.”
“Not really.” He sounded slightly amused again. “But I won’t tell if you don’t.”
“Thank you,” I said gratefully. “And thank you for not being mad.”
“Welcome.” His hand left my arm and I heard him shift in bed, the covers rustling around him. “Now try to get some sleep, okay?”
“All right.” I nodded in the darkness even though he couldn’t see me. “Good night.”
“Night, Jameson.” He yawned and I heard him shift again—then silence.
I was afraid I would lie awake all night but the crying jag had drained the last little bit of my emotional reserve. Before I knew it, I was yawning myself as sleep dragged me down.
My last thought as I closed my eyes was that I didn’t know what to make of North—but I liked the feel of his hand on my arm. Liked it a lot.
Chapter Nine
The next thing I knew something loud and strident was blaring in my ears.
“Wha…?” I rolled over in bed and covered my head with a pillow. “Make it stop.”
“Hey, shrimp, wake up.” Suddenly the pillow was yanked off my head and someone stripped the sheets and blankets off my shivering form.
“Hey!” I sat straight up in bed and glared at him. “Give those back.”
“Fine.” North dumped the bundle of bedding on my head. “Go back to sleep and earn yourself ten licks for missing breakfast. See if I care.”
That got me up right away. “What time is it?”
“Almost oh-six thirty. You have enough time for a quick shower.” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “If you want one, that is.”
I had never gone so long without bathing in my life and I felt horrible—sticky and grimy and completely unladylike. But there was no way to do anything about it. “No,” I said miserably. “I guess I’ll just get dressed.”
North frowned. “You’re going to have to get over that Victorian modesty eventually, squirt. If you don’t take a shower soon you’ll start stinking up the room. Can’t have that.”
“I know.” I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. “I just…can’t right now. You go ahead though—don’t let me hold you up.”
“Already had a shower and shave.” He ran a hand over his jaw and looked at me speculatively. “How old are you anyway—sixteen? Seventeen? Shouldn’t you at least be growing some peach fuzz by now?”
“The men in my family don’t grow facial hair until late,” I said, thinking fast. “It’s a hereditary thing.”
North shrugged. “All right. Well if you’re not going to take a shower, you’d better get dressed so we can get down to the mess hall.”
“Fine.” I got some fresh underclothes and went to the closet where I shut myself in.
Through the wooden door, I heard North sigh. “Are you really going to dress and undress in the closet every day?”
“Yes,” I said firmly. I quickly bound my breasts and began fumbling with the unfamiliar uniform shirt. I still wasn’t used to men’s clothing—all the buttons seemed to be on the wrong side.
“You’re being ridiculous, you know,” North told me. “But whatever makes you happy.”
I finished putting on my uniform and came out of the closet. “Privacy makes me happy,” I said, positioning myself in front of the mirror.
Peering at my reflection, I wondered if I looked manly enough. Something was missing—the tie. I put it around my neck and tried to figure it out with little success. The navy blue uniform and the boots Hinks had found for me fit well enough but the long slender strip of red fabric was a mystery. I had seen Kristopher put one on many times but had never really questioned how he did it. Now I tried to remember as I watched myself in the mirror. Was it over, loop, and under? No, that doesn’t look right. Maybe under, loop and over…
“Here.” My hands were brushed away and North was suddenly in front of me, quickly and expertly knotting the vivid red tie with a tiny Blood and Honor Blossom stitched in the center. “Never met anyone more helpless in my life,” he muttered as he worked. “Haven’t you ever worn a tie before?”
“No,” I said truthfully. “This is my first time at a school. I had tutors for most of my life—for health reasons.” Which was true enough, except they had been my brother’s health reasons, not my own.
“No wonder you’re so completely clueless and naïve.” North stood back and looked at my tie critically. “There. Done.”
“Thank you.” I put a hand to my throat. “It feels awfully tight. Are you sure it’s supposed to be like this?”
“Here.” He loosened the tie a tiny amount. I would have suspected him of making it tight on purpose because he was irritated with me, but his own looked just as snug.
“Thank you,” I said again, though I still felt like I was being choked. I told myself that the tie, like the binding across my breasts, was something I would just have to get used to.
“Come on. Breakfast in ten,” he commanded. “Don’t forget your tablet.”
I grabbed it and followed him hurriedly out the door and down the steps. As we reached the last staircase leading down to the bottom floor, I saw that Broward and
several of his cronies were waiting at the bottom.
North saw them the same time I did. “Keep going,” he said softly when I hesitated. “Don’t say anything, and don’t make eye contact.”
I did as he said, sticking close to his side and keeping my eyes on the ground.
“Hey, freshie,” I heard Broward sneer as we went past him but I didn’t look up or answer.
“Back off, Broward—he’s with me,” North growled.
Broward laughed. “You only spent one night together and you’re already all kissy-kissy, North? Is that why little freshie there is glued to your ass?”
The Academy Page 7
