“That does seem unfair.” I started to frown but then caught myself. I didn’t want wrinkles—or to sound like I was talking treason. “Well, whatever comes of it, I’m sure you’re clever enough to find a solution.”
“I hope so. But if I’m not, I’m sure you are.”
The note in his voice was unmistakable. I went very still and tried to keep a serene expression. “That’s sweet of you. Of course, I’m not the one who’s a governor.”
“No, but I think you could be invaluable to someone who is.” He took my hand, and I lowered my gaze to look at it, lest he notice me hyperventilating. “You weren’t kidding about getting things done. You have a mind for the logistics of managing others. You persuaded an officer. You understand the situation in northern Adoria better than most people who’ve lived their lives here.”
I had myself under control now and looked back up at him. “Mister Doyle, you know I’d listen to your flattery all day if I had the time, but I’ve already seen half a dozen young men trying to catch my eye. I’d hate to think you were wasting my time when you know very well how in demand it is.”
“Oh, I’m aware,” he said with a laugh. “And I’ll get to the point, because I know you like that. And that’s something I like about you. I also like that you are unattached, and it would mean a lot to me if you stayed that way for the next two weeks. Once I’ve seen my charges settled in Hadisen, I’ll be coming back here by the water route—it can be done in a day, you know.”
I nodded. Hadisen’s position on the western side of Denham Bay made it an easy trip across the water—if you were just trying to get a boat or small ship over. The shore on that side was rocky and unpredictable, so large parties of people, animals, and supplies—like the one leaving tomorrow—had to go across land, cutting through Denham on a ten-day route not far from the one I’d taken coming from the East Sister.
“If we weren’t leaving tomorrow . . .” Warren’s face grew momentarily wistful. “Well. Nothing to be done about that now. I’ll be back before you know it, and then we’ll have plenty of time to discuss things. And by ‘we,’ I mean you, me, and Jasper. Do you think you can do that—hold off on any decisions with someone else? Can you take it on faith that I’ll make the wait worthwhile?”
It was getting hard to breathe again. My free hand was clenched in a fist, and I chastised myself for being so silly. Get a hold of yourself, Tamsin! I mentally scolded. This is what you’ve been waiting for. You’re on the verge of making it all worthwhile, all the sacrifices with Merry and Jago.
It was Merry who steeled me to proceed, but it was the wistful thought of Jago that made me unexpectedly say, “Can I take it on faith you’ll think of me once in a while during that time? You don’t have to be madly in love with me—not that I could blame you if you were—but I’d hate to think you were pining for my friend Adelaide those whole two weeks.”
Surprise flickered in Warren’s eyes, replaced quickly by amusement. “Nothing to pine over. I wasn’t in love with Adelaide. I see that now. She’s a lovely, accomplished girl—which is what I was infatuated with. Her standing. But I’ve come to realize she isn’t what I need to govern Hadisen. I need someone who stays fixed on a goal, someone always looking for an edge. Someone who understands that respect and shared vision get you farther than rampant emotion.”
I did understand that, though a nagging part of me wondered just how far you could get with love. But I ignored that part and unclenched my fist. Meeting Warren’s gaze unblinkingly, I responded airily, “Well, since you’re being so charming about it all, I suppose I can hold off on any decisions until you return. But just so you know, I’m not going to stop taking callers or invitations.”
Warren brought my hand to his lips, the kiss lingering longer than before. “I’d expect nothing less.”
CHAPTER 33
AS EXCITED AS I WAS FOR THE HADISEN EXPEDITION to depart so that Warren could return and finalize matters, I dreaded it too, because it meant losing Adelaide. My dismay went beyond a selfish desire to keep her close; I worried for her safety as well. The evening before she left, I attempted one more earnest talk.
“Adelaide, I know it all seems like some grand adventure right now, but I’ve spent the last month and a half on the edges of the colonies. Living like that was hard for me—and I grew up in tougher conditions than you did.”
She looked up from a bag she was packing and gave me a wry grin. “Are you saying I can’t handle it?”
I studied the belongings spread out on her bed before answering. Heavy leather boots. Plain but durable blouses. Wide-legged suede pants. Earlier that week, Mira and I had gone with her to buy attire for the trip at a store specializing in wilderness gear. It was owned by a man they’d met on their voyage, one Grant Elliott, who hadn’t much impressed me with his gruff and blunt manner. But he did seem like the kind of man who’d seen his fair share of rough situations, and the fact that even he thought her impending adventure was a harsh one hadn’t been lost on me.
“I’m saying I remember you trying to do things like wash dishes and build a fire when you got to Blue Spring. This’ll be worse than that. And have you ever slept on the ground before?”
“No . . . but I’ll only be doing that during our trip to Hadisen. Once we’re there, I’m boarding with a family who already has a cabin ready to go. I’ll have a bed.”
“It won’t be like this bed. And you’ll be surprised at how many ordinary household things you take for granted once you don’t have them.”
Adelaide closed the bag and stood up, stretching. “Are you trying to talk me out of this? You think I should just tell Cedric it’s over and stay here?”
“Well, not when you put it like that! But I’m just worried about you. It’ll be hard—not just the labor. There are all sorts of dangers on the frontier. And it’s not like there are a dozen stores around the corner to buy what you need,” I added, recalling Warren’s supply issues. “If something runs out, you may be waiting a very long time.”
“I’ll have to go without, I guess. Or maybe if I hope hard enough, some peddler will stop by. Aren’t they out there?” The joke made her smile, and she didn’t notice I winced. “But whatever waiting there is, no matter how hard, I have to do it. I know it sounds crazy. I wish I could help you understand. I love Cedric, and I’d rather have him than a house full of luxuries.”
Again, I didn’t answer right away. I’d first been jealous of Adelaide for her refined background, then for her diamond status . . . and now, I realized, I was jealous that she got to be with a man she loved. It wasn’t the type of envy that wished her ill. I wanted her to be happy—truly. But I couldn’t help but compare myself and think how I had lost a man I had loved. Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that I still had the one I loved most: Merry. And maybe, one day, respect and a shared vision could lead to more with Warren.
“I just want you to be happy,” I said at last. “If this is what you want, then I want it too. And if there’s anything I can do to help you secure that happiness, just tell me.”
“Oh, Tamsin!” She nearly knocked me over with a massive hug. “And if I can help you find your happiness, I will. Not that you’ll need it. You’ve always got everything under control. You really will get the best position for yourself, just like you’ve always said you would.”
I swallowed back my own tears. “Was there ever any question? Now—ease up there, because you’re wrinkling that silk, and I’ve got to be at an important party in an hour.”
* * *
I saw her, Warren, and Cedric off the next day. Their caravan departed from the gates of Cape Triumph amidst a sea of fanfare and well-wishers, and I cheered them on. The prospective settlers headed out with hope in their faces, some well-off already and hoping to expand their success in this new territory. Most of the others looked as though they’d had little success of any kind in their lives and were now staking all th
ey had left on this enterprise.
After Mira and I returned home, the long wait began. Two weeks. Two weeks of hoping Adelaide and Cedric would make the journey safely and continue to stay safe once in Hadisen. Two weeks of hoping Warren didn’t change his mind about me.
I held true to my word about not accepting any other man but did still ensure I had plenty of backup choices. My delay in Grashond hadn’t ruined my prospects, and I had a short list of half a dozen suitors who could support me and my family and whom I also liked reasonably well. I even managed to tease out of some that they would have no qualms about marrying a widow, so that was a relief. One way or another, Merry’s future would be secured.
At last, I heard during an afternoon tea that Warren had returned to Cape Triumph via the bay and that the rest of his party was safely settled in Hadisen. I breathed a sigh of relief for Adelaide and Cedric, and then I spent the rest of the day anxiously awaiting any news from Warren. It came the following afternoon when he showed up at Wisteria Hollow and asked to speak to Jasper.
I hovered at the top of the stairs as Warren entered the house, and as soon as he and Jasper were locked away, I ran back to Mira in our bedroom, hardly able to contain myself. “Do you know what that means? He’s going to make an offer! This could be it! What I’ve been waiting for.”
Minutes later, I was called too. After a quick check in the mirror, I put on a calm countenance and walked serenely into Jasper’s office. “Hello, Mister Thorn. It’s nice to— Mister Doyle! What a pleasant surprise. I hadn’t realized you were here. How was your trip?”
Warren waited until I was seated before taking a chair himself. “Excellent. Everything was on schedule, everyone is doing well. Including Adelaide,” he added, guessing my thoughts.
I beamed. “I’m so glad to hear that. It was nice of you to come give us an update.”
An amused glint in his eyes told me he knew that I knew there was more to his visit to that. “Mister Thorn tells me you aren’t engaged or married, which is a considerable relief, because I have an offer for you.”
I clenched my hands and swallowed. “Oh?”
“I’ll be returning to Hadisen in two days—by water—and would like you to come with me and tour the area.”
“Oh.”
“White Rock is coming along nicely, and my own home is quite comfortable, but Hadisen is still a rather wild colony. I wouldn’t want my wife to be shocked or feel like she’d been misled by the time it’s too late. So, come as my guest, see what Hadisen is all about, and then if you approve . . . we can have a further discussion.”
I relaxed a little. It wasn’t as good as an outright engagement, but it was promising.
“One of Mister Doyle’s associates lives in White Rock with his wife, and she’ll come stay with you at the governor’s house,” Jasper continued. “So you’d have a proper chaperone.”
I nodded along. “Of course. I wouldn’t have presumed otherwise.”
“Then you’ll do it?” asked Warren. “I was afraid after the rest of your adventures, it might be too soon for you to plunge off into the unknown.”
“Mister Doyle, I am ready to go right this moment if needed,” I told him, head held high. “Especially if I don’t have to sleep in a tent or wear unfinished wool.”
After a few more details, Warren left, and Jasper held me back. “Tamsin, I expected great things from you, but you’ve surpassed my expectations. You’ve secured more prospects in three weeks than girls who’ve been here from the beginning have. And not just any prospects—one of the very best. Warren’s hinted that he’d be offering more than your base contract post. There’ll be enough to cover your debt.”
“Then you think there will be an offer, sir?”
“I’m positive of it. I think he’s taking this extra step for propriety’s sake. I’ve seen men propose after one meeting, but an engagement looks more serious if the couple’s actually had real time together.”
“I understand. Thank you for all of your help.”
Jasper stood up and opened the door for me. “Honestly, this was all you. You’re the one who won him over so quickly, but that was probably nothing after all you did to get the other Gray Gull girls here—even if it did cost me some goods.”
It was hard to keep a straight face at his dry tone. “I am sorry about that, sir. But believe me when I tell you: It could’ve been a lot worse.”
“I do believe that. Loss is part of business—one has to expect the unexpected. Say, like, when your diamond throws away amazing opportunities.” His face settled briefly into a scowl, then smoothed. “Well, what’s done is done. I’m just thankful you aren’t like her.”
“Thank you, sir.” But as I walked back to my room, I found myself wondering if I should really see that as the compliment he’d meant.
The day I was scheduled to leave for Hadisen banished any concerns about Adoria always being cold. The weather had already been steadily warming in my time in Denham, but I awoke that morning half believing it was summer already. By noon, everyone was sweating, and the humidity made me feel like I was wrapped in blankets. Mistress Culpepper and Miss Bradley were beside themselves trying to keep everyone powdered and sweat free, but it was clear early on that the battle might be hopeless.
More than half of the girls were engaged now. A few had already married and left. Most of the attached ones came from the early group, but some Gray Gull girls already had fiancés. Other than the very elderly gentleman, Mira had had no one show serious interest, which worried me. She seemed restless and agitated, and I wondered if her romantic situation was finally taking its toll. When I hinted at that, she looked totally surprised.
“What? That? Oh, no. That’s all fine.”
“Then why are you pacing like a trapped cat?”
She abruptly stopped said pacing, not seeming to have realized what she was doing. “Other things,” she said evasively. “And I’m worried about you, about Adelaide.”
I crossed my arms and walked to the window. “Well, the only thing you need to be worried about for me is if Warren’s actually taking me to Hadisen.”
It was well past the time he was supposed to have arrived, and anxiety was eating me alive. I wandered the house, saying hello to those preparing for evening engagements. All the while, I was constantly peeking out the windows. It was one such moment, with my back turned, that Gideon seized a chance to sneak up on me.
“Hello, Tamsin.”
I closed my eyes a moment and then turned around with a cool smile. I’d been doing an excellent job of avoiding him. He and the Heirs were still around, and no one knew when they were leaving. The girls who hadn’t lived with them in Grashond were complaining about how odd they were, little knowing how much worse it could be.
“Hello, Mister Stewart.”
His eyes made a quick assessment of me. I probably bore little resemblance to the Tamsin back in Constancy. Even my traveling clothes were luxurious: a green velvet riding habit consisting of a full skirt and a form-fitting jacket with a scoop neckline edged in gold. A plumed hat decorated with the same golden lace was tied with a silk ribbon over my hair, which I’d worn loose today. The other Heirs had made no secret of their disapproval of the outfits paraded through Wisteria Hollow, but something told me Gideon didn’t mind them.
“I wish you’d call me Gideon again,” he said. When I didn’t respond, he shuffled his feet and glanced away. “You look . . . very nice. You’re sailing to Hadisen today?”
“Yes.”
“With the governor’s son.”
“With the governor of Hadisen. Though, yes, he’s also the governor of Denham’s son.”
“Right, right. That’s what I meant.” Gideon dragged his gaze back to me. “Are you . . . happy?”
“Of course. He’s a cultured, industrious man who’s going to be in charge of an entire colony. He’s financially
secure and will have the respect of everyone in Hadisen—and outside of it.”
“And what about his wife?”
“His wife will have the best of everything.”
“Do you love him? Does he love you?”
“We respect each other. And from what I’ve seen, that’ll get me further than love.”
Gideon winced, catching the barb. “And what about . . . her . . .”
I might have called him out for avoiding saying Merry’s name, but given the open setting, vagueness was probably better. “I’ll deal with that after we’re married, and bring it up in a way that he’ll be accommodating to. You’ve helped me realize waiting is the best strategy, and I’m grateful to have learned that before I ruined a legitimately good prospect.”
There was no sunshine in Gideon’s face today. “I deserve that,” he said unexpectedly. “And . . . Tamsin . . . I’ve been thinking a lot about what I said . . .”
“No.” The prim, cool demeanor I’d been holding up was tossed away. “Do not go down that road, Gideon. Don’t start confessing your regrets.”
He glanced around anxiously. “But I have them! Tamsin, I’ve done a lot of thinking and praying, and you were right—you’re always right. I was being a hypocrite. I advocate for people embodying their ideals, yet I was embodying what I despise. The empty customs and rules that I complain about . . . well, I was applying them to you to cover my own insecurity.”
“Your apology is accepted.”
“Tamsin, I want to do more than apologize. I was wrong. I was shocked and said things I shouldn’t have. I still want to marry you—it’s not too late!” His gray eyes were wide and frantic. “There’s a colony being chartered—it’s called Westhaven—”
“I’ve heard of it.”
“Then you know they allow freedom of religion. Early settlers have to buy into it, but after we’re married and rebuild my money, we can move there and work on my new enterprise. You can be part of that—an invaluable assistant to a wondrous creation.”
The Emerald Sea Page 40
