I bawl like a baby, wailing like a banshee, in front of half the student body of Guardian Academy. Some are disturbed, some laugh, but I can hardly tell who is who through my blurry eyes. I feel absolutely no emotion causing this because she is. She can do something to my emotions, to my reaction. Suddenly, my fire seems less ominous, if people walk around controlling undead zombie people and other emotions.
There's supposed to be rules about when and how we can use our magic. It’s ingrained into us from day one. Every teacher has said it, but how many people listen? And how far will the staff let it go to make sure I leave?
I get it now. It isn’t just about Hate. It’s worse. They want me dead and gone. All of them. They want me to suffer because somehow unknown to me, no one will fucking tell me, thinking I’m dumb, playing stupid, or owed nothing, my father hurt them.
Badly.
It’s the only thing I can think of.
Another snap of her fingers and I bite my lip, grind my teeth, even as my eyes shoot to Jak. I don’t want to do what she wants me to.
"You shouldn’t be able to resist me, bitch," she seethes at me, snapping her fingers again. And like that, I just can't. My legs carry me over to where Jak stands, throwing myself at him as I cry all over that stupid jean jacket, he only takes off when he’s in my bed. I’m still wailing when I say, out loud, "I love you, Jak, why won’t you love me back?"
It’s humiliating, and I feel him stiffen under me. He’s as gentle as he can manage, pulling me off of him. He checks to see I’m physically safe for a moment, one last longing look, and then he walks away from me, out of the cafeteria. And that’s when the laughter begins and I feel myself break.
They win. They get what they want, and I feel a surge in me of anguish. Maybe I'll burn this whole place to the ground, and that might just be okay right now.
But when I catch the eyes of the closest girl laughing at me, someone I don’t even know, my powers take over, particularly one I never knew I had.
I see it in my mind first, reporting it to her seconds later. "In your third year here, you will take a stupid dare, too drunk to complete it safely, and you will drown. No one will help you for fear of punishment."
She turns to her friends with a look of fear, and Layla comes up to me, likely meaning to shut me up with more waterworks. When I catch her bright eyes, I see hers too. So clearly, I almost feel sorry for her.
"It'll be your father," I say sadly. "Dionysus will poison you one day when you least expect it."
"What the fuck is wrong with you, freak?" she screeches, coming at me, but she rams into an invisible bubble of some kind and bounces back, her ass landing on the ground.
"Everyone, get to class!" I look back to the entrance to the cafeteria and see the one responsible for the spell is Roman. I don’t know why I do it, but I pretty much collapse into his arms, and he turns me into him, my head against his right shoulder. His hand strokes my hair in comfort, and I'm suddenly exhausted and so glad someone finally came to get me.
"Are you okay?" he asks once the room is cleared.
"I... I think so. I don’t know," I answer honestly.
"I had to stop it. There have been whispers, some swearing you’d have another power, something like this. I can’t do much about the bullying, unfortunately, but I'll report it anyway. For now, why don’t you take the morning off and resume after lunch, Okay?"
I nod, pulling back from him, all my tears already shed against my will.
"What did he do to me, Hugh?" I ask, needing to make sense of it.
"Children of Orcus can often control certain dead - oath breakers. The more important the oath they broke in life, the more gruesome they are in death and more pliable. They are meant to be punished by this control, yes, but it’s not meant to hurt others." I can hear anger in his voice, and I look over him, noticing his golden hair, his broad chest, despite his short height. His kind eyes.
"Thanks," I whisper, walking away and going to my room before I can say anything else, I regret.
Chapter Fourteen
"I'm not sure of what I should do.
When everything I'm think of is you.
All of my excuses turn to lies.
Maybe God will cover up his eyes."
~ Nine Inch Nails
Everything's coming up Roman.
The oddly good looking, buttoned-up TA is now sitting at a makeshift desk next to Mr. Colter, my second class after lunch. This class happens to be History of the Gods. One of many history classes, I happen to know I will be taking over the years.
Deidre has informed me history is of the utmost important to those at the school because it tells us how to learn from the mistakes of the past. It also shows in what ways we may have to help humans, the gods, and other worlds in crisis if we become a Guardian.
Of course, I want so badly to get to the part about the other worlds, but the first year seems slow and more dull, which makes trying to prove myself hard.
How can I stand out in a crowd without a way to do it - other than being Hades' daughter?
We've been learning about the brother gods, starting with Zeus, and I'm a little keyed up. Not just because of the incident at lunch, but also because of the fact that today, we should be talking about Hades.
There are so many things I crave to know about his life so I know where I come from. The idea of ending up in the underworld to see him, telling him I'm his long lost half-human child seems like a distant or non-existent future, so if I want to feel close to that side of my identity in any way, this is it for me.
"Please, open your books to where we left off, and be sure you've emailed your answers to the study questions on Zeus, to me."
Several scramble to pull out their laptops, sending he assignment last minute.
I know better than that and got it done last night, sending it in immediately. I can’t afford to slip up in any way.
If I give them nothing to call me out for, eventually, they'll have to see I'm a fast learner and a good student, nothing scary about that other than my potential.
I sit patiently, closest row to the door, second seat back, waiting until it’s time to talk about the god in front of me. Inside the textbook is a picture of a dark, fiery place. It’s labeled as part of the underworld, and I know from my research it’s a large place, as expansive as Olympus.
Fascinating how all gods share Olympus, but Hades has his own realm. Even if it made him feel like an outcast, I can see the privilege in it.
He had to have proved himself powerful enough for that.
My mother has never been driven for any reason, other than the easy ways to get money and attention. So, I know my drive has to come from him.
I feel myself reaching into the darkness to grasp at a piece of my life I didn’t even realize was missing until now. Suddenly, I'm brought back to reality as Mr. Cromwell says my name.
"Yes, Mr. Cromwell?" I ask, and he takes out the large pointer he keeps with him; an old school teaching method I'm surprised to see in a place full of both magic and technology. I guess with their lack of steady electricity in a storm, I shouldn’t be too surprised that some teachers stick to the old, stubborn ways of doing things.
He smacks it against his desk, pointing to a spit at the front of the class. I have taken this to mean I am to come up in front of everyone.
My eyes are open, ears alert, trying to see any angle someone could come at me.
If I've learned anything, class isn’t even safe for me, from the bullies. Even though Layla isn’t in here or Holly. Or anyone who typically gives me trouble. It’s the one class I feel a little relaxed in.
Until now.
"We are supposed to be learning about the god of the underworld today. The brother who was gifted his own realm, though in darkness; to control all souls who have ever lived and who will ever die."
A hush comes over the room, and I feel a buzzing in my veins. Will we finally get an objective view of Hades and all the great things he did before w
hatever it was that made him so despised?
"However," Mr. Cromwell continues, and my heart sinks to my stomach. "He has lost the right to any conversation in this class. No longer is he the great ruler of the underworld, though what a privilege it is for his daughter to be here, getting a chance to be a guardian. And how also very lucky of her to never have witnessed any of her father's heinous acts."
I don’t like where this is going, though Mr. Cromwell seems not to exactly lump me in with the poor actions of Hades. Though, I have simply come to distrust any conversation involving my parentage at Guardian Academy.
"Can you tell me why I'm up here?" I ask, a little nervous as he dances around me as if appraising me.
"A very good question, Ember. I want you to do all of us a favor. I want you to use that wonderful magic of yours and burn all the pages in my book here," he slams the book open on his desk to the first page about Hades, "about Hades. His treachery is an abomination."
That’s the moment when I tune him out. When my ears are ringing. I have always had a temper, and I don’t hide my emotions. I have no practice and no need.
It’s such a waste of energy. So now when I need to control myself the most, I can't.
All I see us red, literally, as every book in the room ignites in hot flames.
I vaguely register the screaming, some students running, others calling me a monster, and I know the teacher is angry and trying to get me to calm down.
What nobody gets is this comes naturally. No one was ever going to get hurt; just the books.
Because if they want me to burn up anything about my father, then it can all burn.
A pair of hands grab me, shaking me out of the intoxicating feeling of using my magic to prove a point. I whip around in the grasp to see the hands belong to Roman, and he’s pulling me out of the room.
His shaggy, blonde hair bounces as he leads me down a hall and then takes a turn, to a place I've ever been in the academy.
With the size of it, I'm not sure I'll ever get to explore the whole thing, even if there weren't parts off-limits.
He pulls me into a room and shuts the door, and I notice it's more than a room. It’s like a studio apartment. Even bigger than my dorm.
"This is your room?"
"Yes, it was the closest place I could think of. I had to get you out of there. Mr. Cromwell can be known for asking for blood when a student is out of order in his class. Once the threat was gone, well, he would have been in a rage."
Roman shrugs, his quiet voice coming through clear, husky.
He's so different than the other three I have to tangle with.
Jak is hot but hates being around people at all. Other than me. And while he seems like a rebel, he keeps to the status quo. Eden does too, but that’s because he's an ass, hot ass, but still comes to the same thing.
Saul, he's rough, sexy, unpredictable though intoxicating to be around, and not just because of his sexual nature. He's so social, drawing people in with that.
But Roman, he's helpful, kind, talented, from what I've seen. But there's something clean-cut and righteous about him. Not taking sides, just doing what’s right at any time.
"So, what now?" I ask him, feeling a little shy for the first time. Roman makes me feel exposed. Hels looking at me for more than my short skirt, who my father is, or my flirtations.
"I think you need to learn to control your reactions. I' not going to speak on whether or not they’re justified, but they won’t get you anywhere good," he specifies.
“How would I do that...it just feels so.."
"Good," he finishes for me with a shy smile. "It’s that way for sorcerers too. We have to be very careful. Honestly, a lot of us end up with our magic stripped because we're too dangerous, too tied to our emotions, since we're barely a step away from human."
"That's awful, to lose your magic, I mean. But I get it. There have to be rules, I guess. So, how do I control it?" I ask him, walking around the room and sliding my hand across his smooth, mahogany desk. The whole place reminds me of a writer's retreat in the woods or something. I wonder if these are his tastes or it came this way.
"There are lots of ways, but I find meditation is best. Don't worry," he adds as I shoot him the look of a skeptic. "This is nothing like meditation for humans. I have some magic to help." he winks, and I feel my heart race.
Roman is not my type, and I have enough boys I'm trying to tame. But I just can't look away from him as he has us sitting on the floor, knees touching.
Can he feel the electricity like I do?
"Just close your eyes, and tell me what you smell," he says before whispering something inaudible.
I feel a thick fog-like substance descend upon me; thick, wet, hard to see through.
I imagine it as yellow, the smell of fresh banana, but then I get the scent of baby powder, overwhelming me.
"You don’t have to tell me, just hold the smell or smells in your mind and associate them with something, a memory, a symbol, anything."
I do as he says, seeing a crying baby, me, I guess, as my mother's frantic, asking her mother what to do.
This memory isn’t mine, and I can’t be sure it's all exactly how the scene played out.
The smell of bananas is the baby food I ate up, still my favorite taste to this day. The baby powder, too much being used by my mother who has no idea what she was doing, her own mother giving up on her.
The air in the room shifts.
"It’s different now," I say, and I can almost feel him smile, proud I'm focusing, but he says nothing.
Next is the smell of cinnamon and the smell of cold, just before I spend the winter sick. It’s so worth it to see if a flurry or two will catch my eye, though it’s so rare in Texas.
Halloween and Christmas vibes, the two times I get to be myself and when my mother is actually there to be there with me.
I don’t know why I do it, I guess I just am so grateful I'm being given tools, instead of being saved. Glad someone believes in me to make a difference in my circumstances.
Jak is great, but he doesn’t expect anything more from me. I doubt he even thinks we'll be Guardians.
Before I know what I'm doing, my lips land on the soft pillows of his. He doesn’t push me away, but everything is gentle, nothing going too far.
What breaks us apart is a knock on the door.
The meditative fog quickly disperses as the door opens, a boy popping his head in.
"The Council wants to see her." he nods at me.
Roman stands up to open the door wider allowing me out in the hall. "Be careful," he whispers to me, catching a lock of my hair between his thumb and forefinger on the way out.
Chapter Fifteen
"You, what do you own the world?
How do you own disorder, disorder."
~ System of a Down
"What's your name?" I ask the blonde boy who's come to take me away. His features are sharp and disturbing almost, his blonde hair an ethereal silvery, white blonde, His eyes angular and dark.
"You should probably be more concerned about what the council wants with you. Seeing the gods is not a privilege, especially for you."
"I should at least know whose spewing so much hate at me," I defy. Why I can't seem to control my temper here is a mystery to me. It only makes me look more and more like the bitch they think I am. This awful criminal's daughter and I don't even know what my father's done. None of my research has led to that answer thus far. If nothing else, maybe the gods will tell me that. I feel like they owe me since they've brought me here to learn to be a hero while condemning my father so and thus me for sins I didn't even know existed. From man live never known...
"I owe the daughter of the traitor nothing," he spits, his words as cold as ice daggers down my throat.
As we head toward the south part of the main building, where most of my magical classes are and the furthers corner from the dorm rooms, we pass a door where a familiar girl with a black pixie cut, more than a head
shorter than me comes out to join the bashing, I'm sure.
"Oh, brother, you should've told me you had a prisoner. I could have had a little fun."
"Brother?" I should have kept my mouth shut, but my curiosity is at it again.
Holly turns around and practically hisses at me. "We have the same mother, and I'm only telling you because I'd hate for you to die with such a burning question."
"Die?" Someone seriously needs to tape my mouth shut.
Holly just laughs and gets closer to her brother, whisper something to him. They stop a few yards from the end of the south hall, and I catch something he says to her. "She'll probably just end up like her father. Locked away forever. Maybe they just brought her here to keep a closer eye on her."
I want to stamp my foot on the floor and have a tantrum, demand that someone explain to me what Hades has done to receive such hate and accusations against his daughter, who doesn't even know him.
"Welcome to the Hall of Dreams,” the boy says, spinning around and showing off the empty, lit hall as if it’s his own personal work. "This side of the school is the side which resides directly in Olympus. It is used for both meditation and connecting with your powers, as well as transporting students if they need to reach the Council."
I cross my arms, waiting for the lecture to be over so I can get on with it. "Yay, so what now? Where is the Council?"
Holly glares at me like I'm the most disrespectful spec in the universe. "Let my brother finish, cockroach."
The way she hisses, I would be willing to bet she’s more likely to be a cockroach.
"As I was saying...the door at the end of the hall leads directly into Olympus, outside the Hall of Dreams. Hermes will guide you to the council. He has been notified ahead of time of your requested presence."
Bane of Hades (Guardian Academy Book 1) Page 8
