She wanted to see me too. At least, that’s what Cane said. If he was any other fucker, I’d doubt his word, but Cane knew what Amber’s leaving did to me. He saw how she ripped out my heart and stomped on it with her perfect size eights, digging her heels in as she left.
And now what? She was fucking back and wanted to talk. I sucked in a deep breath before letting it out again, my nostrils flaring.
Torn up inside, I’d searched for Amber for days after she left me. I went to her work, only to find she’d left her job. Visited every one of her friends I knew, but she’d dumped them as surely as she dumped me. She even ditched her phone number and sold her car at a loss to make a quick deal and get out of town. If she had any family, I would never have given up, but Amber was an only child whose parents died when she was away at college. She had no other family to speak of. Other than me.
It used to rile me when she said family came first with me. Of course, they fucking did. And Amber, Cane, and Dad were the closest family I had. I would have done anything for each and every one of them. I should have known then that she never felt the same way about me. She never would have whined about it otherwise.
What was the maneuver in that Tarantino series? The one the Bride used to kill Bill with? The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. That’s it; that’s what it felt like. I’d just lost Dad and then the shit with Amber. She couldn’t have done a better fucking job of kicking me out of her life if she’d killed me, and there were times it felt like she had. Like my heart had fucking exploded.
Hell, there were times, I wished I was dead. But my brothers kept me going.
I clenched my fists, pushed them deep into my forehead, and tried to still the bubbling rage that wanted to break free and stop me being hurt again.
Our last telephone conversation played over and over in my head. She was worried about me, or at least, I’d thought she was at the time. She’d wanted to go away. I’d refused. I should have given her what she wanted. I would have done anything to keep her in my life.
It was a difficult time, and with dad being slain, I thought I had to stay with Cane. He was my baby brother. He needed me. We needed to catch the fucker who took out dad. Only after we saw him in his grave would we be able to properly grieve. I could have understood if Amber had told me that was the problem, if she’d said she couldn’t deal with what Cane and I had to do. But no, she chose the option of fucking ghosting me instead. She avoided my calls, and when I got home from Mexico, all her things were gone.
She left me a fucking note. ‘Sorry. Don’t try to find me.’ Six simple fucking words that damn near destroyed my life. Yet, despite them, I had tried. Tried and failed. It took me a few sleepless days, but I finally got her message loud and clear. Though, maybe, if I hadn’t given up, I wouldn’t be sitting on my bike like a frightened pussy, too fucking scared to knock on a door.
Some fucking tough guy, I was.
I shook my head and focused on the house. I’d spent years reliving the times I’d had with Amber, trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong.
Lord knows I was — am — a fucking prick. I’ve never been easy to live with, but...
I hissed out a breath and clutched my hands to my head.
Fuck this!
I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t look at her perfect face or see her curious eyes, always burning with questions, and not fucking die inside all over again.
I was about to start my engine when a patrol car pulled up alongside my bike and Officer Tom Davenport, patted the side of his door through the window.
“Everything okay?” He asked.
“Everything’s fine, Tom. How are things with you?”
“Same old, same old.” He glanced up and down the street. “Any particular reason you’re scoping this place out.”
I scoffed and shook my head. “You know better than that,” I said. “Not my style. I’m visiting an old friend, that’s all.”
“Yeah? Anyone I know?”
“Not that I know of. Her name’s Amber Gerald. She’s in the bungalow if you want to check out my story.” I nodded to the house.
Tom’s gaze followed my own and he stared at it for a while as if assessing his next move. A part of me wanted him to fucking knock on the door and draw Amber out. At least then the decision would be made for me. Instead, he tapped the side of his cruiser again and told me to take care before moving on.
I debated pulling away and following him but stopped myself and took a deep breath. If I didn’t speak to Amber now, I’d be adding another regret to my long list.
I kicked my bike on its stand and stood tall. My muscles twitched and I tried to force myself to relax.
A car honked as I stepped into the road. I scowled at the driver, ready to punch him out if he honked again. He put his foot down and sped away with a nervous backward glance. I turned back to the bungalow in time to see Amber stepping out of the front door.
All the air swept from my lungs and my chest clenched painfully at the sight of her. Despite the passing years, she hadn’t aged a day. Her simple jeans and T-shirt hugged her figure like a second skin. Blonde hair cascaded over her shoulder in a wave of curls, highlighted like a halo in the afternoon sun. She pushed it behind her ear. Her shoulders lifted and sagged as though she’d taken a deep breath. She sucked in her lips. My dick jumped to fucking attention.
I wanted to run over to her, scoop her into my arms, and never let her go. I craved her voice, the dimples that appeared in her cheeks when she smiled, the warmth of her body next to mine. But fear her apparition would disappear and I’d never see her again stopped my steps.
Amber came to me, her eyes drifting from the floor to my face and back again. She stopped a foot away. I could reach out and touch her. But didn’t. Neither of us said a word for countless seconds. I just stared at her like some fucking psychopath in a horror movie while she looked at the ground.
She clutched her arms across her chest. “I’m so sorry.” Her voice trembled and she lifted her head, her eyes meeting mine for the first time.
Any anger, any grudge, I might have held, fled me. Her gaze wasn’t the carefree one I knew. It held the same look I saw in Thea’s eyes the first time I met her. A time when she was trying to escape Cane and return to her stepbrother to save Cherrie. A look that said life had kicked you in the gut and the pain was too much to live with.
“Jesus, Amber,” I said. “What the fuck happened?” I stepped forward and pulled her into my arms. She let me. Her head fell against my chest and great sobbing gasps came from her throat.
I stroked her hair and closed my eyes, breathing her in. I knew now why she had returned. Someone had hurt her, and she needed me. A pang of resentment struck deep inside, but I shoved it down. It didn’t matter that Amber had only returned because she knew I would protect her. All that mattered was making sure she was safe and keeping her that way.
“Tell me which fucker needs killing and I’ll see it done,” I said.
Amber’s shaking stilled and she pulled away from me, wiping beneath her eyes with the backs of her fingers. She huffed out a breath and glanced over her shoulder at the house before turning back to face me. “We should talk,” she said. “But somewhere else.”
“Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know. Anywhere.” She shrugged before turning her gaze to the butte in the distance. “How about the trailhead up by Castle Rock?”
I nodded and climbed on my bike, doing my best not to react. That was the last place I took her before Dad died. We’d parked the bike up, hiked the trail, and climbed on top of the rock. We spent the entire night talking with the lights of the town twinkling around us.
“Hop on,” I said and patted the seat. Amber slipped behind me and circled her arms around my waist.
My heart thundered, but I kept my cool and steered my bike toward Rock Park parking lot.
Despite the lateness of the afternoon, the sun still sat high in the sky, and several cars were parke
d in the lot. Castle rock was a heavily used trail. A young couple sat at a picnic table beneath the large shelter. The guy pulled his girl away as soon as he saw us arrive on the bike.
I huffed out a breath. It was strangely comforting to know I could still scare some fucker just by being present.
I parked up the bike and waited for Amber to get off before joining her. Neither of us was dressed for hiking, but it was an easy trail, and it wasn’t as if we’d climb the rock. Not during fucking daylight hours anyway.
Amber was tense and I knew she was regretting her decision to come here with me. Ignoring her discomfort, I pointed toward the trail between the trees.
“Let’s walk,” I said. “If nothing else, it will help clear our heads.” Amber agreed and without a backward glance to see if I was following, headed along the trail.
We passed a young family. The woman grabbed her child’s hand to keep her near. The man, a slim guy wearing beige shorts, a T-shirt and a fanny-pack, turned his attention to Amber with a concerned look on his face. She smiled at him, and he glanced at me. We never looked as though we belonged together. Amber was far too much of a fucking princess for the likes of me.
I liked him. He was a man who’d step in if he thought Amber was in trouble. Even if I was five times his fucking size and likely to lay him out flat with a single punch.
I turned around and showed him the patch on my back. “Caleb Landon, Forever Midnight MC, and this is Amber Gerald. We’re old friends,” I said to reassure him. “You have my word, she’s in no danger.”
Amber reached toward me and clasped on to my hand. “We’re fine,” she said, and he tipped his head to her. “Ma’am, Sir. Have a good walk.”
“Thanks, brother.” As we continued on the trail and out of view of the family, I half expected Amber to pull her hand from mine, but she didn’t.
The trail hadn’t changed much in the four years since I’d last been up it. The incline was a little steeper than I remembered, and it had been dark then, so the wildflowers hadn’t been visible the way they were now. Although, the sweet scent remained the same. It was the heat that was different. No cool night air refreshed my face. Instead, the sun baked me inside my jacket like a potato in foil. Despite not wanting to break my contact with Amber, I pulled my hand from hers to remove my jacket. My T-shirt followed suit. As soon as I’d lifted it over my head, I noted Amber staring at me.
“You’re bigger than I remember,” she said.
“You’re just the same,” I answered.
She stepped forward and ran her hand along my arm. Her touch lingered. “That’s new,” she said, noting the rose and thorns.
“I got it after you left.”
She pulled her hand away and clutched it to herself. A group of five hikers rounded the bend in front of us. Amber closed her eyes and swallowed before opening them again. “This isn’t the best place to talk,” she said.
Before she had the chance to say anything else, bird shit fell from the sky and landed on her head and shoulder with a momentous splatter. She froze with a horrified look on her face. “Just fucking perfect,” she said and burst out laughing.
For the first time, I saw a trace of the Amber I knew, and laughed too. “Yo, brothers,” I said, calling to the group of hikers. “Any of you spare some water?”
“Sure, got a bottle here.” The lead walker reached behind his back and pulled a bottle out of his rucksack. Amber clutched her mouth, trying to still her laughter.
“Thanks,” I said, taking it from him.
“Yes, thank you,” Amber added as embarrassment colored her cheeks.
I unscrewed the cap and asked Amber to tilt her head. She did and I poured water from the bottle over her head, doing my best to rinse the shit from her hair, while wiping it off her shoulder with my T-shirt.
“That’s the best I can do. You’re gonna need to wash it out properly.” I cleared my throat. “You can shower at my place,” I braved saying. “Then we can grab a stiff drink and have that talk.”
Amber was quiet for so long, I wondered if she’d heard what I said, but I realized she was debating if it was wise to come home with me or not.
Fuck! I was wondering exactly the same thing. But Amber was right, this was a bad place to talk. And I needed to talk. I needed to know why she’d left me the way she did, and who had hurt her and brought her back into my life now. We needed somewhere we wouldn’t be interrupted, and no place was better than home for that.
Chapter Three
Amber
Caleb wasn’t the man I remembered. Something inside had changed, he seemed harder, yet more timid at the same time. Cane was right, I had hurt him. When I’d left, I knew I would, but not this much. I thought he’d move on and find someone new within a matter of months, if not weeks. At least that’s what I’d told myself to lessen the guilt of my actions.
I’d heard him arrive and stop his bike outside the house. I waited an eternity for him to come to the door, but no knock sounded. My stomach twisted in knots and my heart clenched. After forty minutes had passed and I’d twitched the curtains to look at him for the hundredth time, Charlie asked who I was looking at.
“An old friend,” I said.
“Why don’t you say hello?” she asked, and I realized that’s exactly what I had to do.
He’d dared to come, even if he hadn’t made it past the end of the street, and if I didn’t speak to him now, there was the possibility Cane would do it in my stead, and he didn’t know half the story.
“That’s a good idea, but I might have to go away with him for a while. Will you be okay with Aunt Sophia?”
Sophia pulled Charlie up onto her lap. Her parents had left to visit friends for a couple of hours and only the three of us remained. “We are going to eat bad food and watch a movie in bed. You take all the time you need.” With that, she bopped Charlie on the nose.
Charlie giggled, and I gave her a big hug before leaving. I knew she’d be fine in Sophia’s care. She and her parents had been my lifeline over the years and had come to the city to take care of Charlie on a regular basis.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door, but nearly stalled when I heard the honking of a horn. Those steps toward him were the second hardest of my life. The hardest were the ones I took walking away.
Then, I’d feared he’d come home and take one look at me and know what had happened. He was already hurting and would start a war with the Feral Sons, for me. I couldn’t have that. But more than that, I couldn’t have him look at me and see how much it hurt. I thought time had healed that pain, but the second he looked into my eyes, he asked me what the fuck had happened. He saw exactly what I feared he would.
He should have been angry, should have screamed at me for leaving the way I did, but all I saw was concern. Maybe Thea was right, maybe there was love there too. Everything came crashing down. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to blurt out everything, but I was too afraid of what would happen if I did.
The last thing I thought would happen was that a bird would poop on my head and I’d end up at our old house.
Caleb started tidying away a few empty beer bottles and cans as soon as we entered. The house seemed colder than it used to. The furnishings were drab, and the color had left the place. Questions burned behind Caleb’s eyes, but I couldn’t stomach answering them. Not yet.
“Let me shower and get cleaned up,” I said before darting up the stairs and into the wet room.
I looked in the mirror and realized what a complete mess I was. Caleb had done a good job of rinsing the poop from my hair, but it was clumped together and slimy where it hit, and the smudge mark on my top didn’t look any better. Here I was, looking a state, and Caleb was the hottest I’d ever seen him. It wasn’t my memory playing tricks on me when I said he looked bigger. He’d definitely gained some bulk. And when he took his shirt off... I thought I’d faint into his arms at the sight of his abs, and don’t get me started on those pecs.
I stripped from my dirty
clothes and turned on the shower, running it for a few minutes before stepping beneath. Closing my eyes, I allowed the hot stream of water to wash away all the years, all the bad memories that plagued my mind. Instead, I shampooed my hair and focused on the good times we’d had in this house, this shower.
An image of Caleb naked and wet flashed through my mind. I tried to latch on to the memory, to hear him laugh and say my name in that deep, sexy voice of his. I tried to remember what it felt like to have him inside me. As I’d done countless times over the years when thinking of Caleb, I reached down and massaged my clit. I circled my nub, stroking harder and faster. Pleasure swirled through my core and a soft moan broke from my lips. I placed my hand against the wall to steady my balance. Water sluiced down my back and I pictured it sluicing down Caleb’s and over the curve of his bottom.
Feeling at home, even though I hadn’t called this house my home in years, I abandoned my clit and pushed my fingers inside me. Pleasure swirled through my core, and I wished they were Caleb’s fingers pounding into me, instead of my own.
My core clenched and the promised jolts of pleasure were moments away. Extending the moment, I returned to my clit and worked it with my fingers at a frantic pace.
Caleb’s presence manifested as the door opened behind me, but before I had the chance to react, his hand reached down and stilled my fingers. “Let me,” he said.
I froze and turned to see him fully clothed. “We shouldn’t.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
My rational mind told me I should say yes and that this shouldn’t happen as it would only complicate things more. But what had I expected when I came home with him? What had I wanted when I’d started touching myself in the shower?
Caleb cocked his head and looked at my lips. I stared into deep brown eyes so like Charlie’s they made my heart burst. The need in them mirrored my own.
“Why don’t you hate me?” I asked.
Caleb gave a wry smile and shook the water from his face. “I could never hate you.”
Forever Midnight MC Collection: Books 1-3 Page 17
