He hauled the backpack from the truck and handed it to the young soldier. He glanced at J.J. rather indifferently before giving his attention back to Nell. “Gotta take a raincheck, Nell. Call me if you need anything.” He climbed back into the pickup, tooted the horn, and drove down the long drive.
Joey grabbed Addison’s hand. “You got your cast off. Did it hurt?”
She ruffled the top of his blond head. “No, Dr. Ava was very careful.” She smiled down at him. “I was a little bit afraid.”
His eyes widened. “Gosh.” He followed her up the steps and into the house. “I’m glad it didn’t hurt.”
Nell invited everyone into the kitchen. “It’s about our dinnertime. I hope you like bacon-and-potato soup.”
“And homemade gingersnaps. Aunt Nell makes the best,” the twins said in unison.
Nell’s gaze fell upon J.J. again, a little more attentively this time. For a long moment, she studied the young woman’s face.
J.J. suddenly felt self-conscious in front of all these onlookers. She opened her mouth to say, “Thank you for inviting me to stay,” but before she had a chance, Joey drew his brows together with a look of concern.
Doubt laced his cherubic voice. “Are you really our mommy?”
J.J. felt the color drain from her face like a slow, painful torture. No one spoke. There was only the uncomfortable sound of the spoon ladling soup out of the pot and into the bowls.
Her whole body went numb. Her eyes turned to Addison and pleaded for help.
Addison came to the rescue. “Joey…Julie…didn’t you write Santa a letter asking him to bring your mother home for Christmas?”
Two identical heads bobbed up and down.
“Go to your bedroom and get the picture on your nightstand and bring it to the kitchen.”
As soon as the twins left the kitchen, Nell glanced from Addison to J.J. “Wade gave me the short version of your doubt about the children.” She pointed the spoon forward. “Don’t you dare leave those precious young’uns with broken hearts, do you hear me?”
J. J. bristled at Nell’s gritty tone. “Yes, ma’am. Loud and clear.”
“Good. Now that we’ve got that straight, you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you like. We’ll talk more tonight.”
Gasps at the doorway were followed by, “It is her!” Joey held up the picture. He looked at his sister. “See, I told you if we were extra good Santa would give us our wish.”
Julie’s face lit up at that. “Are we going to live with you?”
The little girl’s question struck J.J. hard. She stood there, saying nothing, feeling depleted and exhausted and manipulated. She settled on a stool at the long white countertop, trying very hard not to look at the twins because every time she did it seemed to invite another question she couldn’t answer.
Nell set bowls of soup at each chair. “Your mother has had a long and tiring trip. I’m sure after she’s rested she’ll answer all of your questions. Besides, we’re all hungry.” She cut a look toward J.J.
J.J. focused on her bowl for a minute. She cleared her throat. “Your letter to Santa said you collected eggs. Tomorrow I’d like it if you’d show me the chickens and the horses.”
Julie lifted her sweet gaze toward J.J. “Is it okay if we call you Mommy?”
Joey shoveled a spoonful of soup into his mouth. “I know how to hitch up the horses to the sleigh. Uncle Emmett showed me.”
Addison was curious all of a sudden about the twins’ father. If J.J. couldn’t or wouldn’t take care of the twins, then what about the father? She made a mental note to ask.
Julie giggled. “We’re going to model clothes at the Mistletoe Fashion Show. I get to wear a fancy dress.”
Joey’s enthusiasm topped his sister’s. “And we’re gonna help Aunt Nell decorate the sleigh for the parade, and Uncle Emmett is gonna let me help him drive the sleigh. Are you coming to the parade?”
Both twins begged, “Please, Mommy. Please.”
J.J. turned her attention back to the soup. After a long pause, she said, “It sounds like fun.”
When dinner and dessert were finished, the twins were excused to play in the living room. They invited their mother to see the Christmas tree they had helped cut down and decorate. The beauty and warmth of the home filled J.J. It felt like a welcoming hug, from the twinkling lights on the brightly decorated tree to the landscape pictures on the wall and the artful curtains on the windows, and most of all the flickering fire in the fireplace.
She sat cross-legged in front of the fire. The twins settled on either side of her. Joey tugged at her arm. “Mommy, why did you go away and leave us with Gram?”
J.J. drew in a bracing breath to keep from bursting into tears in front of the children. She was a seasoned soldier, and no crying was allowed.
“When I was young, my mama and daddy died in a terrible accident. We were already living with Gram, but she was old and didn’t have a job. Instead of finishing school and getting a good education, I made poor decisions which…landed me in trouble…and you guys were born. Gram couldn’t work, and without a good education I couldn’t get a job making enough money to take care of all of us. That’s why I joined the Army.”
Julie scooted around to face her mother. She leaned forward, her expression serious, and placed tiny hands on each side of J.J.’s cheeks. “You don’t like Joey and me, and you’re going to leave, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” Joey sighed. “It’s okay, ’cause we have Aunt Nell and Addison, and Uncle Emmett, and Sheriff Grey.”
J.J. drew her bottom lip between her teeth. Thick despair choked her. “Of course I like you. Why would you think I don’t?”
The twins’ silence filled every corner of the room. The silence dragged on for several moments.
No one saw the shock that rippled across the faces of Addison and Nell. The children stood when Nell said, “Tell your mother goodnight, and come along to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow.”
Addison hugged each of the children as she met J.J.’s troubled gaze. When they were alone, J.J. paced about the room. She placed her hands in the back pockets of her fatigues. “I don’t understand why they’d say such a thing. I mean, they should know I love them.”
Addison settled on the couch. “Joey and Julie are quite astute for six-year-olds. Not once since you arrived have you hugged them or touched them, or offered any semblance of affection.”
“Well, I—ˮ
Addison held up her hand. “Let me finish.” She repeated what the twins had related about other military parents visiting their children at school. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t have enough leave time when you could have visited. Those babies don’t remember receiving telephone calls or birthday cards from you, much less gifts. You stand there with your face looking like a piece of carved stone…not even a genuine I love you smile for your own children. And you dare ask that they should know you love them?”
Before J.J. could answer, Addison rushed on, “What about their father?”
Nell joined them. She sat in her favorite chair next to the fireplace and waited.
J.J. gave each woman a critical look. “Don’t judge me until you’ve walked in my shoes.” Just as quickly, she apologized. “I do love my children. Maybe not like mothers who’ve been with their kids for more than just a few months after giving birth. Don’t ask me why I stayed away. I can give you every excuse in the world and it would still be an excuse. I figured if I wasn’t in their lives and I got killed during a raid, it wouldn’t be as hard on them. That’s why I stayed away and why I didn’t send gifts. Gram tried to tell me.” She shrugged and spread her hands wide. “I don’t know why I didn’t listen.”
Addison shook her head in disbelief. “And the father, why isn’t he in their lives?”
J.J. cursed under her breath. “I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know who the father is. Back then I wasn’t particular about who or how many I slept with. I guess that’s another reason I stayed away.
Eventually, the twins will ask that same question. What am I supposed to say—your mother whored around and you’re mutts because she doesn’t know who’s your daddy?” She hastened on. “I’ve changed. I’m not like that now. The Army has taught me values and self-respect. The thing is I don’t know how to be anything other than a soldier.”
A sudden creaking of the old house let them know the wind was picking up. It was almost ten, and Nell suggested they call it a night.
J.J. followed Addison up the stairs. At the door to the spare bedroom, Addison said, “What is your job in the Army?”
“I’m a member of the field artillery team. We’re a combat unit, ma’am.”
“If you had a job, would you leave the Army?”
“I refuse to live hand to mouth, Ms. James. I want my children to have better than I had when I was growing up.”
For several seconds the two women stood in silence. J.J. had hedged around the question. This was not the answer Addison had hoped for.
Addison locked gazes with the young soldier. “I meant what I said about paying airfare back to your base if you decide to choose the Army over your children. Goodnight.” Addison quietly left J.J. standing outside the bedroom door and made her way down the hall to her own room.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Thankful for the recently installed internet and wi-fi at the house, Addison opened the screen of her cell phone and speed-dialed Wade’s number. The mere thought of hearing his voice sent her heart thumping into overdrive.
“Addison, is anything wrong at the ranch?”
“How did you—oh, caller ID, of course. There’s no emergency, and I know it’s late, but I want to run an idea past you. I’m too excited to wait until morning.”
“Okay, you have my attention.”
“I may have a solution for your deputy problem.”
“And that would be?”
“Would you consider hiring a woman for a deputy?”
“You’re not considering trading your career as a ranch resort owner for law enforcement, are you?”
Addison tsked. She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was joshing. “Don’t be a smart ass. I’m serious.”
She imagined his smile when he said, “I would consider hiring a woman if she was qualified. Do you have someone in mind?”
“Actually, I do. J.J. Wallace told me she is assigned to a field artillery team. It seems that with her military training she’d have the discipline and mental fortitude to transition into law enforcement. I was thinking that with her combat experience, maybe you’d consider hiring her?”
“Have you talked to her about this?”
“Not exactly. I asked if she’d leave the Army if she had a job.” Addison repeated the conversation and J.J.’s response. “Wade, if she chooses to remain in the military, it sickens me to think about what will happen to Joey and Julie. Six-year-olds—and especially twins—are considered almost unadoptable, and the chances only get worse as a child gets older. I’m the voice of experience.”
“Yeah, Ava and I were eleven when we were adopted. We were lucky.”
A rush of new emotions coursed through her as she sat waiting for Wade’s response to her suggestion. Suddenly she trembled with grief for the twins’ uncertain future.
“Addison, I’m not opposed to your idea. As long as she doesn’t have a criminal record and receives an honorable discharge from the Army, I could hire her on the condition that she completes the academy.”
“That’s wonderful. Would you mind presenting the idea to her? She seems to view me more as an enemy than a friend.”
“You did come across like a tough sergeant.” Wade chuckled. “It’ll have to wait a few days. With the festival ready to open, the town is filling up with tourists. Being short-handed, I need to stick close.”
“I understand. We’re in need of decorations for the sleigh competition. It will give me an excuse to drive to town for supplies. Maybe J.J. would like to do a little Christmas shopping for the twins. Would it be inconvenient for you to accidentally bump into us at BB’s café around noon?”
“Noon at BB’s. I’ll try to act inconspicuous. ”
Addison said goodnight and set her phone aside. A smile curved her lips. The idea of seeing Wade tomorrow lifted her mood.
****
For a woman who’d openly voiced her dislike for Christmas, Addison’s seeming change of heart was genuinely pleasing to Wade. He wanted her in his life. He couldn’t force her to let him into her life if she didn’t want him there. He thought about the stupid son of a bitch who had never deserved her.
Was he any better? He hadn’t told her about Gracie.
In an effort to veer from unwanted feelings toward Addison, he opened a drawer and removed a manual to brush up on hiring standards for a new deputy.
There was something about J.J. Wallace’s demeanor that had impressed him. Other than morally, she was under no obligation to come to Meadow Creek. For her to do so clued him that deep down a spark of maternal love lay waiting to be fully ignited. He’d grown fond of Joey and Julie, and he commiserated with the uncertainty of their future.
He contacted his answering service to let them know he was clocking out. At the stroke of midnight he locked the office. Tomorrow would be another long day. He sprinted through the cold toward his cruiser. The more he thought about offering J.J. Wallace an opportunity to remain with her children and become gainfully employed as his deputy, the more his mood lightened. He switched on the radio and sang along with Burl Ives’ rendition of “A Holly Jolly Christmas.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Christmas carols and noisy chatter filled BB’s Café. Addison scanned the room for an empty table.
“Merry Christmas, Addison. Who’s this you have with you… Nope, don’t tell me.” Brenda Brown touched the side of her nose and with a rouge-cheeked jolly smile said, “Let me guess—you must be Joey and Julie’s mother. They are two of the most precious little dumplings. I’ll bet they’re excited to have you home. Are you staying in Meadow Creek? Of course not, silly me. You’re in the Army.” Brenda prattled on as she led Addison and J.J. through the maze of tables. She handed them a menu. “I’ll return in a jiff to take your orders.”
J.J. seated herself and scowled over the open menu. “Is she always that yappy?”
“Brenda means well.” Addison lifted her brows. “Look around. There are other restaurants in Meadow Creek. BB’s is always the most crowded. Her food is outstanding, and she mothers everyone.”
Brenda returned and took their orders. While they waited for the food to arrive, J.J. said, “That’s one wicked scar. How did you get it?”
Powerful emotions welled up inside Addison, mostly anger. She touched the line of healing tissue. “In another life I was a model. During a show, a poorly constructed runway collapsed.”
“Was?”
“I retired. Aunt Nell and I recently became business partners. After Christmas we plan to restructure Hope Ranch into a vacation resort.”
J.J. gave Addison a questioning look. “I’m curious. You said you were abandoned as a child. How does an orphan become successful enough to buy a ranch?”
Addison cocked an eyebrow. “Hard work and perseverance, plus a boatload of tenacity.”
Brenda returned with a tray and unloaded the food. “Whew, by the time I close tonight, these dogs will be barking for relief.” She laughed at her joke and bustled off.
J.J. smiled. “I waited tables once. She’s right about her feet hurting.”
“That’s nice.”
“What…about my feet hurting?”
“No. It’s nice to see you smile.”
A flush of pink tinged J.J.’s tanned cheeks. “Yeah, I guess. When you’ve seen the things I’ve seen, there isn’t much to smile about.”
“I’m sorry, J.J. You’re awfully young to have experienced so much.”
Addison glanced over the young soldier’s shoulder, and there he stood. He wore a heavy coat
over his tan pants. He removed his cap and tucked it inside a pocket. Seeing him made her remember the night he’d held her in his arms, and the way his lips had tasted. It wasn’t the blast of cold air that caused her to shiver.
It was as if a magnet had drawn his gray eyes to hers. His heated gaze warmed her. What she wanted to feel was admiration for a handsome sheriff. Not love. She didn’t want any part of that particular emotion. Not anymore. She donned a polite mask as he approached.
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “Afternoon, ladies, mind if I join you?”
Addison extended her hand toward a chair as an invitation to sit. The scent of brisk winter air lingered on his clothes.
A waitress bustled over with a cup of coffee and a bowl of steaming venison chili topped with shredded cheese and a slice of garlic toast. “Brenda saw you come in, Sheriff. She figured you’d want your usual.” She set the food in front of him and rushed to take an order from another table.
Addison arched her eyebrows at him and grinned. “With the festival and all the people it’s drawing, now doesn’t seem like a good time to be shorthanded.”
Returning her smile, Wade loaded his spoon and enjoyed a mouthful of chili. He shifted his attention to J.J. “Actually, Private Wallace, you’ve been on my mind.”
J.J. stiffened. “How so, sir?”
Wade toyed with his spoon. “I did a little checking, and with your field artillery and combat experience, have you considered transitioning from the military to law enforcement?”
He went on to explain about his deputy leaving to take a position in Maryland. He also explained that he’d retired from the Marines, and with his dad being the former sheriff, it only seemed logical that he chose law enforcement over other career choices. “Even though Meadow Creek depends mostly on tourist dollars, it’s a good place to live and raise children. We have excellent schools, a community college, and a hospital. The bottom line is, Private Wallace, I need a deputy. If you’re interested, the pay is good, and mostly the job is dull. That’s the primary reason Deputy Sumner transferred to a crime unit. He craved excitement.”
Christmas at Hope Ranch Page 15
