by Sandy Smith
For a moment, I forgot I was trying to leave. I tried to make small talk with the group standing with Ant, but I couldn’t stop finding Nicholas on the dance floor every chance I got. He didn’t seem to be having the same issue. He was holding the younger man as they danced, and the older man moved in time with them, his hand wrapped around his partner from behind. He leaned forward and whispered in Nicholas’s ear. I really didn’t like it.
My head was starting to pound, and I was half-heartedly listening to a couple of the guys arguing over the Bentley or the Bugatti for their new cars (apparently, the Audi R8 was sooo last year). Rolling my eyes, I silently thanked god I had taken a taxi and not my not-so-trusty Subaru hatchback to the club. I didn’t have to search under the couch cushions anymore for coins to buy dinner, I didn’t have to cut the mould off the corner of the cheese and use the rest, I didn’t have to…
I shook my head at my wayward thoughts. I wasn’t that kid anymore and hadn’t been for a long time. But still, these people were from a different planet.
My mood had soured, and I certainly wasn’t great company, barely acknowledging anyone who spoke to me. I needed to head home before I behaved like an even bigger dick than I already had. Then there was a squeal, and Antony had his arms full of twink. Once the guy in a pink mesh shirt and black skinny jeans released his grip and slid down Antony, I realized it was the twink from my first visit to the club, unsurprisingly wearing pink again. I hadn’t seen him since that first night at the club, but he was easy to remember.
“Why didn’t you let me know Nicholas was back in town? You know I would have been here,” he whined to Antony with a playful slap to the arm.
Ohh, hell no.
“Fat lot of good that would have done you, sweetheart,” Ant told him. “He isn’t exactly the Daddy material you’re looking for. I think I’ve seen hyenas on the Discovery Channel more caring than Nicholas. Don’t get me wrong. He’s a good guy, but he is never going to be what you need. Keep looking, princess.”
The twink pouted dramatically, then turned, and when he saw me, he paused and smiled sweetly.
“I wasn’t sure I would see you here again. I should have made more of an effort to get back here.”
I glared at him, still picturing him fawning all over Nicholas. What the ever-loving fuck is wrong with me?
“No thanks. I’m not exactly a Daddy either. And isn’t it a school night for you?”
The smirk dropped from his face immediately, and he looked so fucking young and vulnerable I felt about two inches tall. He gave a tight smile and lowered his gaze.
“Excuse me,” he mumbled as he turned to leave.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Anthony snarled at me. “Even if he wasn’t a paying member, he is still a decent fucking kid.”
“So many things I wouldn’t know where to start,” I answered honestly. I walked quickly in the direction the guy had gone but couldn’t see him.
Fuckity fuck.
Well, I certainly wasn’t going to head back to the group after that, so I guessed it was time to head home. I grabbed my jacket at the door and headed outside.
The wind was like ice, but I decided to walk away from the front of the club while I waited for a taxi, chastising myself for treating someone like that. The last thing I wanted was a conversation with Antony or anyone else right now. I would apologize the next day. I turned the corner towards a bar I was familiar with and knew was a regular taxi pick up point, then glanced at the bus stop across the road. Empty except for one small lonely-looking figure hugging his knees. His arms were bare, with his mesh shirt offering no protection from the biting wind. I crossed the road towards him and stopped a few feet away.
“I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t cut it. I know that you didn’t deserve the way I spoke to you back there. And I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I am sorry.”
He still hadn’t looked up at me. “Don’t worry about it. No big deal,” he mumbled.
I sighed and sat down. “Yeah, it was a big deal. I was a dick. A big dick. Like porn star-sized dick.”
At least that had the desired effect, and I was rewarded with a small twitch of the corners of his lips. “Yeah, you really were.”
When he shivered and rubbed his arms, I didn’t bother saying anything because he would refuse. I simply took my jacket off and wrapped it around his shoulders, leaning back on the bus stop bench. “I’m Ky.”
“Pete.”
After a pause with neither of us speaking, I continued. “I really am sorry about tonight. I’m not that guy usually. I don’t know what got into me.”
He looks at me for a moment and then lowered his eyes again.
“It’s fine, I know I don’t belong there, and I know I can be a bit much sometimes. My ex used to say I was like the Energizer bunny. All right for a bit of fun, but then you really just want to find the off switch. If I stepped in the middle of something, I apologise. I’m usually completely fucking clueless, but I didn’t mean to do anything wrong.” The dejection in his voice gutted me. I had made him feel like that.
“You didn’t do anything wrong back there, and your ex sounds like an even bigger dick than me. Don’t just accept someone treating you badly. You deserve better than that. Okay, I’m going to freeze my nipples off if we stay here any longer. Which direction are you heading? I’m catching a taxi west.”
Pete shook his head. “South for me. I’m going to catch a train—I just sat down to catch my breath for a minute.”
Pete moved to shrug my jacket off, but I stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Please keep it on. I’ll be home soon, and I’m fine. Just leave it with Ant next time you are at the club. No big deal. Seriously.”
He nodded with a small smile, and after a kind of awkward goodbye, I headed home. However bad my hangover was in the morning, it would still be less than I deserved.
I laid my head on my arms on the kitchen table after lunch the next day and groaned. Mum continued talking at a hundred kilometres an hour about the two guys she wanted to set me up with. I should’ve told her to stop, but after working over eighty hours that week, fitting in some case work around our scheduled training, and then making a fool of myself at The Subway Station last night, I was glad the conversation didn’t require my input. When she moved on to a pro/con list idea, I was glad I didn’t have to contribute at all. The other chair scraped across the floor, and Tim sat down, throwing an apple from hand to hand.
Thank God for Tim. I nodded towards Mum with a look demanding he stop her.
Tim winked at me before opening his mouth to rein in his wayward wife. “They sound great, sweetheart. Why don’t you set both of them up with Ky? The only thing that could be better than a blind date your mother sets you up on could be two blind dates.”
My head popped up, and I glared at the traitor.
“I said I would let your mother loose if you didn’t take matters into your own hands,” Tim said with a smirk.
“Mum, Tim ate the last of the macarons.”
“What!” she practically screamed, frantically searching the pantry. “They were Zumbo macarons! You bastard. That’s it! You’re sleeping on the lounge tonight!”
My head dropped back to my arm with satisfaction, but I grumbled, too tired to even enjoy his pain. No matter how much he threw me under the bus, I loved Tim. And Mum. I had seen enough families in my job to know some kids grew up without parents, and some others had parents who made them wish they didn’t have any. I had doubted whether we could afford to eat that night; I had doubted if I would get home safely; I had doubted if I would ever be good enough to deserve her love. But I had never once doubted I was loved. Even when she was working ridiculous hours, even when she dragged me from job to job because she couldn’t afford childcare, she always made sure I knew I was loved. And I loved her just as fiercely. I would do anything to look after her. I did do anything.
Mum continued to search in vain as Tim glared at me through narrowed eyes.
&
nbsp; “And Tim, I did go have fun just like I was told to. It just wasn’t a story that was parent appropriate.”
He sat up like a meerkat, immediately interested. “Ooh, well done. What was he like?” he asked, looking like he had a hundred questions.
“They were hot as fuck.”
“They singular or they plural?”
“Plural.”
Tim blinked. Silence. Mission accomplished. And suddenly I was remembering exactly how much fun.
He blinked again.
I jolted back to the present when Tim stood and flicked me on the ear, then leaned down and kissed the back of my head.
“At least you look like shit because you have been out having fun. Beats looking like shit because of work.”
I smiled through my exhaustion before climbing to my feet and heading towards the door.
“And Rhiannon, sweetheart, threatening me with the lounge seems a bit pointless. You love what I do to you on that lounge.”
Ughhhh.
Damn it. Point, Tim.
Chapter Six
Alex pushed the keyboard away from himself and grabbed the water bottle, finishing it off.
“Did you see the emails?” Alex asked me.
“I saw the text, not the attachments. He said they were bad, but I haven’t had a chance to check.”
“I want you to have a look. Hang on.”
Alex motioned for me to move around where I could see the screen, scrolling through a couple of Ant’s emails. I had already seen the first two. Basic, non-specific threats. Then some more specific, more personal ones. The escalation was definitely concerning. One email referred to a guy named George. There was a photo attached: a young man, African descent, in his late teens. Sort of twinkish. I was pretty sure I had never seen him, but I didn’t know the rest of Giles and Owens’s businesses, so he could have been anyone. Then Alex opened the last email. It claimed the sender was owed a significant amount of money for goods stolen.
Jesus. What the hell are they involved in?
I’d always had the impression Giles and Owen were legitimate businessmen. Nightclubs, members-only clubs, and the website Ant had mentioned, like a rich man’s kinky Grindr. I was silently cursing them. If they got Ant involved in anything dangerous, there would be hell to pay.
The email mentioned an attached insurance policy. When Ant opened the attachments, there were dozens of photos of what was obviously the same man—or boy, I guess. He looked even younger in these shots, and I had to turn away from the screen. The shots all showed George clearly, but the other men were blurred. What wasn’t blurred was what they were doing to him and the pain on George’s face.
“Are any of them Giles or Owen?” I asked, still facing away from the screen.
Alex shrugged, chewing absently on his thumb. “Not sure. I can’t do much with the software I have access to at the moment. But the other photos with George are clearly them, and he doesn't look happy”
I turned back to the screen: Giles leaning over, talking into the ear of a clearly terrified George.
Ant walked back into the room just as Alex was closing the file. “So?”
Alex shrugged again. “I’ve left bait on a few message boards and forwarded them to myself so I can start tracing them back. I can’t do much more for you, Ant, especially not from a system that’s about as secure as a barbie camper. Maybe once I get back to my gear, I can find something else.”
Ant frowned but didn’t say anything else.
“Ant. Those pictures…”
“Don’t. Stop, okay. I know what you are thinking, but I know Giles and Owen, and I trust them. I believe them when they say they never had any kind of inappropriate relationship with George. They swear George was scared and looking for work. They offered him some, only he was scared of someone. They helped him disappear, but he was perfectly safe last time they had contact. They like young for their third. They also like consensual. There is no way they did what those photos are implying. No way.”
I looked at Ant for a moment longer. Happy there were no signs of deception or that he was holding anything back, I nodded.
After my less-than-stellar behaviour two weeks ago, I had called and apologized the following night, and he said we were cool, but I hadn’t come back to the club or seen Antony again until that night.
“About the other night, I really am sor…” I started.
Antony put his hand up to silence me. “I know, and we have finished with this topic. Petey said you apologised, and he is fine. Maybe if you and Nicholas had stopped eye-fucking each other every time you thought the other wasn’t looking long enough to actually have a conversation, you wouldn’t have been acting like a bear with a sore… erection that wouldn’t behave.”
Alex barked out a laugh, which he tried to turn into a cough. I raised an eyebrow at Antony, and he smirked. “Well, the pain wasn’t in your big head, was it? Now come and have at least one drink before you go.”
“Fine, one.”
It was Ant, so one drink turned into two. The second drink had just been poured when a man I didn’t recognize came up to Ant and wrapped his arms around him from behind, lifting him off the ground. I was about to step forward when I realized Ant was smiling.
“Beej! Put me down!”
The smiling man placed Ant back on the ground and spun him around. “How about a blowjob to say hello? I’ve missed you.”
Ant chuckled and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You couldn’t afford me.”
“Wanna make a bet?”
I clear my throat, and Ant apologised. “Sorry, Ky. I can’t believe you two have never met. Ky, this is BJ. BJ, Ky and his friend Alex”
Recognizing his nickname from some of Ant’s stories, I reached out to shake his hand, and he threw his arms around me, startling me. I politely gave him a quick hug before pulling back.
“Oh my God, Ant. I always thought you were exaggerating, but holy shit, he is yummy.”
I felt myself blush and turned to the bar to pick up my drink as Ant subtly shook his head and muttered “Beej” in a warning tone.
Alex chuckled beside me, and BJ only stood there looking at me, making me self-conscious. I felt like a piece of meat he was trying to decide what price tag to put on. Once I took a sip of my drink, I looked back at BJ.
“So, Ky, I’m setting up a business in Sydney.”
“What? I thought you were just here for a visit,” Ant interrupted.
“Yep. I decided to make the move, and Angel came with me.” Then to me, he said, “So my question is, would you be interested in talking to me about a business opportunity that could make you a lot of money?”
“Ahh, Beej, I don’t think Ky is the right fit for your business.”
Beej smiled warmly at me. “I disagree. I think he would fit perfectly.”
Ant tried again. “Um, Beej. Ky is a cop now.”
BJ’s eyes darted straight to Ant’s with a moment of panic, which he quickly covered.
“Well, that’s lovely. I’m glad you and Ant have kept in contact. He always spoke very fondly of you.”
I wondered briefly what the job offer was but knew dropping it was wiser.
“I’m glad too. We don’t always have a lot of time together, and I really missed my friend when he moved to Brisbane. It’s great to have him back.”
A little more small talk and I was about to make my excuses and head home when I shivered, a feeling of being watched making me turn to scan the crowd. I didn’t notice anyone, so Alex and I said goodbye to Ant and BJ, resting my hand on Alex’s shoulder as we headed to the door.
I offered Alex a ride, but I got the impression he wasn’t headed home, a suspicion confirmed when he walked past my car away from the train station. I pulled my jacket around me and walked down the road. Right as I unlocked it, I heard my name. I was lost in my thoughts, so it made me jump.
I turned to see Nicholas walking towards me, glancing around as if looking for something.
H
e chuckled. “Sorry.”
I smiled. “No problem, just not paying attention.”
His small smile faded, and he seemed to hesitate before speaking again. He opened his mouth to speak twice and closed it again, before he finally spoke. “Your friend gone?”
“Sorry?” I asked
“The, ahh, the guy you were with.”
“Oh, Alex? Yeah, he headed off.”
Nicholas nodded but looked like he had more to say, so I waited.
“Well, I was just wondering, if you weren’t busy on Saturday night, if you would have dinner with me?”
“Dinner?” I asked, surprised. I definitely had the impression Nicholas was similar to Sean, wanting completely no-strings-attached fun.
Nicholas glanced at his feet, then back at me with a small smile: the first moment of uncertainty I had seen, and it was endearing. “Yes, well, if you’re free… and if you want to, obviously.”
God, could the man be any more adorable?
“Yes, absolutely. I mean, yeah, I’m free. Dinner sounds great.”
We stood there smiling awkwardly at each other for a few more seconds before exchanging numbers.
I was sitting at my desk, double-checking my report, when my phone beeped. I finished up and submitted the report before picking up my phone, smiling when I saw the text.
Is the Farmhouse okay for Saturday night? 6:30?
Then, a minute later, another text.
It’s Nicholas, by the way.
I smiled, probably looking like a nutjob, and shook my head before replying.
Sure. As opposed to all the other men I agreed to have a date with on Saturday night?
No response. I frowned, looking at my phone. Date. Shit. I called it a date. Maybe that freaked him out. Shit. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure how to take that back without making it an even bigger deal, so I let it go and concentrated on my work. I didn’t hear from Nicholas again until the following afternoon.