by Sandy Smith
Nick answered for him in an overly dramatic feminine voice. “Well, Ky, my bartender is soooo good. Amazing. And oh my God, those eyes. Adorable, so pretty. And the skills, Oh. My. God. Certainly knows how to give good head… on the beer. That’s important, you know. And they know their way around cock…. tails. Oh my God, makes my mouth water.”
I was laughing so hard I was crying. “Oh, does little Eric have a wee bit of a crush?”
Eric had stopped glaring at Nick but was still watching him, eyes wide, with a huge smile. When we finished eating, I stood to clear the dishes, and Eric told me to sit back down since I was a guest. I shook my head, arguing he had supplied the food, Nick supplied the wine, and I hadn’t supplied anything.
Eric laughed. “Not true—you supplied the image of you standing in a spotlight holding a vibrator. That will keep me entertained for quite a while.”
But he didn’t raise the issue again, and I cleared the table and rinsed the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I was wiping the counter when I heard Nick’s phone ring. “Ugh. It’s Dad.” Nick headed outside, closing the glass door behind him, and I watched him, knowing any call with his parents ended with him wound up.
“You really are good for him,” Eric said from behind me. I put the cloth down and turned to him. He was watching Nick too, sitting at the table slowly sipping his wine.
“I hope so,” I answered.
“I have never seen him like this before.”
I glanced at him.
“This relaxed. Well, he’s talking to his dickhead father, so obviously he isn’t relaxed right now. But you know what I mean. He’s a good guy, but relaxed and smiling, he isn’t. Or I guess I should say wasn’t. Past tense. His face lights up when he talks to you on the phone. It’s actually quite adorable. And adorable isn’t a word I would have ever thought I would use to describe Nicholas. He hasn’t even mentioned London since he met you.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is the longest he has ever stayed in one place, and the six months or so before he met you, he was looking at heading back to London. He hadn’t specifically said he was going, but I know he was talking to people and had the real estate agent give notice to the tenant in his place. That’s why I’m hesitating on the Byron property. Nicholas will still look after the financial side of the business, but it won’t be the same taking those leaps without him. I always knew him coming here was temporary. He made that clear when he agreed, and it’s why he’s an employee, not a full partner. He promised me two years, and he has stayed longer, so I can’t be too disappointed if he goes. But since he met you… I don’t know… he seems settled. Happy. I’m so glad he found you. And not just because I selfishly want him to stay. I’m excited for him.”
“I’m glad he did too,” I answered quietly.
Chapter Twelve
I wiped my fingers on my napkin, threw it onto the platter of empty prawn and oyster shells, and took the last sip of my beer. Then I looked out across the harbour and sighed contentedly. Lunch at Watsons Bay Pub on a sunny day was one of my favourite things about Sydney. The other night, when Nick and I had been lying in bed at my place, I had asked him about his favourite things to do in Sydney, and I was surprised when he replied he hadn’t really done much other than enjoy the view from his balcony. He commented on a few of his favourite restaurants but not much else. So I vowed to show him all my favourite parts of Sydney. If that gave him reasons not to leave so soon, then all the better.
When I saw Nick winding his way back through the tables from the bathroom, I picked up his phone off the table and walked towards him, handing it to him before I headed into wash my hands properly in the bathrooms.
We walked along the water, then decided to head up the Gap walking path to enjoy the afternoon sun before catching the ferry home. We stood at the Gap bluff for a while, just enjoying the breeze and the sound of the waves hitting the rocks below us. On such a nice day, having the spot to ourselves for a bit was surprising. There were a few joggers and people walking their dogs along the path, but over here against the fence, we were alone.
Nick sat on the rock and patted the spot beside him. Once I settled, he opened and shut his fists, flexing his fingers a few times in a nervous gesture. “I was wondering… and you… I mean… I…” He sighed loudly. “Jesus fuck, I can talk to a room full of bloodthirsty vampires known as businessmen, or even worse, lawyers, and have no problem negotiating multi-million dollar deals, but I can’t bloody work out how to talk to you about sex.”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed gently. “What about sex?”
He looked out to sea for a few more moments before turning towards me. “I’m not saying I’m unhappy with what we have done so far, not at all, but… you kind of implied you aren’t strictly a top, only we haven’t talked about it again. And I was wondering. I don’t normally like to, but if you need to top, I think I could bottom, but it wasn’t…” He huffed out a breath, frustrated with himself.
I shook my head. “I don’t want you doing anything you don’t like. And honestly, anal sex isn’t the end of the world for me. But having said that, if it is something you would like to explore, then I’m not against it. I guess I like sex to be spontaneous, not necessarily planned, and for me, having to prep takes away some of the spontaneity. Honestly, fuck changing what I eat, but it’s not really a big deal, I guess. And I’m not strictly a top. I… I think… I mean, I want to bottom… I know that’s what I would prefer, especially with you… but I…”
I cleared my throat. “Obviously, I’ve topped occasionally at clubs, but usually it’s blowjobs or whatever… I haven’t… I mean… I’ve never had anyone I’ve wanted to bottom for before…” My voice trailed off, and I played with Nick’s hands in his lap.
Nick reached up and lifted my chin. “And now?” he asked gently.
“And now… I’d like to try.”
He kissed me so gently, so softly. “God, you’re amazing, Ky. Thank you. Thank you for being willing to try. If it’s not something you enjoy, then we don’t have to, but I would like to.”
I nodded, leaning against him.
The next week was busy as usual. We texted every day, usually a few times, but only saw each other on Wednesday and Thursday. Both times, I stayed at Nick’s apartment, where we ate a late dinner together and fooled around a bit between watching movies. I loved having someone to simply be with. I didn’t feel like I had to constantly try to impress him or go out to restaurants or clubs. We were comfortable together on the lounge or on the deck chairs outside watching the stars or the boats on the harbour.
When we fooled around, Nick was always driving. Not that I wasn’t a very, very willing participant. Maybe I wasn’t quite as confident; I don’t know. I had never felt this completely physical want for another person before. Obviously, I had felt horny and enjoyed finding someone to take the edge off. But not the feeling I wanted him specifically instead of wanting a blowjob or wanting to get off. I wanted him.
Telling him so wasn’t always easy, but it was like he could see it. When I wanted something but hesitated, he took over. And not having to make every decision and then second-guess myself felt so fucking good. But even with Nick taking charge and our conversation the previous weekend, he hadn’t pushed for more.
Late on Thursday, we were lying in bed, mutual blowjobs leaving us both sated and exhausted. I was on my back with my arms up above my head under the pillow, and Nick was across the bed with his head on my stomach. Having him here was peaceful. Even when work had been busy or stressful or emotional, having Nick here calmed me down. I wasn’t tired exactly, but I had my eyes closed, enjoying the post-orgasm bliss.
“I’ve never dated anyone before. I don’t want to fuck this up,” Nick whispered.
I lift my head and glanced down at him. Hearing any insecurity from him was rare—that was my thing. “Neither have I. Well, I guess I had a couple of guys at uni I went out with a few times, but they lost interest after a few dates, so�
�”
Nick rolled to face me, his head still on my stomach and adorable frown lines between his eyes. “How could anyone lose interest in you? They were clearly deficient.”
I snorted. By date three, Brad thought he had paid his dues, and when I didn’t want to have sex, he called me a few names, and I never heard from him again. And Josh and I had met at uni games for a fun week of blowjobs and a couple of handjobs in the hotel bathrooms. But once we were home, he was always busy, committed to being offered a spot in a master’s program, and finding time was a struggle. Turned out he was also committed to his girlfriend and, more importantly, her rich father. I was a fun way to take the edge off when she wouldn’t put out. But I figured Nick didn’t need all those details.
“Ky?”
“Yeah?”
“What we talked about last weekend—I don’t want you to think I was pressuring you. If you want to take that step, you let me know. I know I can be… what is it Eric calls me? a ‘fucking bossy bitch’, but I’m going to leave this one up to you.”
“I know you’re not pressuring me. And I... I like you being bossy. I like that I don’t have to worry about doing the right thing and making the right choice. I like you taking charge.”
I never thought I would want that. I hadn’t thought I could let go, but with him, it was… I guess comforting. I liked how I could just relax with him, and he looked after me. But this I was glad he was leaving up to me.
He shuffled up the bed and laid on his pillow, snuggling in next to me and pulling the doona up to cover us. “Babe, I… I’m not sure how to say this, so maybe I’ll get it wrong. Don’t be nervous, okay? I like that you have never bottomed before. I really like that I’m going to be your first. I like that a lot.” He closed his eyes and snuggled in even closer.
My wide eyes stared at the ceiling. He thinks… oh God… He thinks I’m a virgin. He likes the idea of being my first… What happens when he finds out the truth? How do I tell him? I can’t not tell him…
I stared at the ceiling for hours before falling into a restless sleep.
The following afternoon I texted Nick to arrange getting together on Saturday.
Are you still free tomorrow?
I certainly am. Did you still want to head to Bondi for the walk?
Actually, the weather doesn’t look so flash. I was thinking of you coming to my place for the afternoon, and then you could come to Mum’s place for lunch on Sunday
No answer.
The message was marked read. Did he not want to meet Mum and Tim? We had talked about it in the abstract, but maybe he thought meeting the parents was a bit much.
I told myself to stop second-guessing everything right when my phone beeped.
Sorry, getting a taxi. That all sounds great. I’m looking forward to it. Dress code for lunch?
No dress code. Have you met me?
I was nervous on Saturday morning. Earlier this morning, I had driven five suburbs away to buy a douching kit at the pharmacy. I felt sixteen again. Why the hell was I getting nervous about sex, for God’s sake? Next time I was going to buy everything on Amazon like a normal person.
I was so over this being a big deal in my head. I wanted it to be tonight. I wanted it with Nick. I was ready. I had done the shopping, I was prepped, I had cleaned the apartment within an inch of its life, and I had carefully chosen what I wanted to wear.
Now, fifteen minutes before Nick was due to arrive, I realized I was so nervous I had sweat marks on my shirt.
Well, that’s sexy. Dammit. I needed to jump in the shower again.
When I turned the water off, I heard the buzzer for the door. Shit.
I grabbed a towel as I ran to buzz him in, then quickly wrapped the towel around my hips while he came up the stairs. I have just fastened the towel when he walked in.
“Sorry I’m early. I was excited to see you.” He didn't even try to be subtle about the way he was inspecting me. Dropping a bag by the door, he kicked off his shoes and socks.
“Sorry, I was sweating. I was excited to see you too,” I said with a grimace. Thankfully he laughed.
I excused myself and rushed to the bedroom. So much for choosing what to wear. I tossed on the least crinkled jeans and t-shirt I could find. I walked back out and offered an embarrassed smile in apology.
He looked me up and down again. “Those jeans look incredibly good on you. Having said that, I was equally happy with how you were dressed when I arrived.”
I felt my face heat and was grateful again that I don’t blush. I finally had a chance to look at him. He was wearing grey fitted jeans and a pale pink shirt. Not something I would have tried to pull off, but Jesus, it worked on Nick. He looked fucking amazing. And I told him so. Whenever I complimented him, he always looked shy. But men told him how hot he was all the time; he had probably heard it his whole life, and he let it roll off him. I loved that it affected him when I said it.
He was still watching me but hadn’t moved any closer. “Do you want a drink?” I asked nervously. He shook his head. I shuffled to the other foot. “You want anything else?”
He nodded. “You.” Shamelessly, he adjusted his dick and then stalked towards me. I didn’t move, only watched him.
How is he mine?
The man was just stunning.
Gently, he reached up and ran his fingers down my cheek. I closed my eyes to savour the warmth of his caress. His hand pulled on the back of my head, and I lowered to meet his lips for a sweet kiss.
“Hello,” he whispered and kissed me again.
The sweetness morphed into heat, and I turned us so I could lean against the dining table. His tongue explored my mouth leisurely, completely, before I delved into his. My nerves evaporated, and all that was left was desire. My hands reached up under his shirt and explored his back, grasping the back of his shoulders to pull him closer. It wasn’t enough. One hand stayed on his back, pinning him to me; the other reached down to cup his arse. He moaned into my mouth, and the desire turned into desperation. His hand reached under the waistband of my jeans. One finger teased the top of my crease, pushing down only enough to make me crave more.
“I need you,” I moaned against his lips as I broke the kiss.
He pulled his shirt off and reached for mine, but I had already started pulling it over my head. His warm hands ran up my chest, pausing to flick my nipples with his thumbs. I groaned, long and low. Leaning forward, he repeated the action with his tongue.
“God, I love your chest,” he said, licking again at my taut nipples. “The muscles, the hair, these nipples that are so fucking sensitive.”
I never liked the hair on my chest. I had always thought I looked better with a smooth chest, but it was a lot of maintenance and maybe a little vain. I thought he would prefer it too, but Nick seemed genuine, and I did love how his hand always drifted to my chest hair subconsciously when we were lying together.
I looked him in the eyes, then flipped us so that he was leaning against the dining table. I dropped to my knees, looking up at him as I undid his jeans. They were pretty fucking tight, so he helped me get them down to his thighs. Then I pulled them and his underwear all the way off before sitting back on my heels for just a moment to enjoy my view. His cock twitched, and I lifted back up on my knees, and my hand ran up his thighs. I traced from root to tip with my nose and kissed the tip of his cock.
“Jesus, Ky, are you trying to kill me?”
Trying not to smile, I ran my lips slowly back down his length, and my right hand wrapped firmly around his shaft. I sucked one ball into my mouth, rolling it with my tongue and sucking gently, then moved to the other. His moans were enough to move me faster. I licked up his length and then sucked his cock as far down my throat as I could, swallowing around his length. His hands gripped my hair, not holding my head but firmly enough to feel it. I used one hand to adjust myself in my jeans before using that hand to hold his balls, pulling gently as I worked him. His gentle moans and curses spurred me on, and I moaned
around him.
With the hand in my hair, he tugged me off. “Stop… I need you… to stop… fuck, Ky. That fucking mouth.”
I rose up onto my feet and pulled him towards the couch. “I think we need to have a rule. Saturday is no clothes day. I mean, no offense to your personal shopper—are they really a thing? Anyway, I’m rambling. Just need more of you naked.”
Laughing, he flopped down onto the lounge and patted the seat next to him.
I shook my head. “Nope.”
I knelt, straddling him. Staying up on my knees, I towered over him, and he leaned his head back to look up at me. I pushed his hair off his face and slowly traced my fingers down his jaw, and his tongue shot out to lick his lips. They were soft and pink and so damn inviting. Leaning forward, I let the tip of my tongue follow along his lips. He caught my tongue between his lips and sucked.
Fuck.
Nick’s hands went to the waistband of my jeans as I sat back up, and he flicked the button. When he grabbed the zip, one of my hands grabbed to his. “Careful, we don’t want a There’s Something About Mary moment.”
He looked at me with confusion but lowered the fly with care. When he realized I was commando, a long moan came from his throat. He only pushed my jeans down far enough to free my dick. Nick shuffled a little lower on the lounge so his face was in line with my groin and gently sucked only the head into his mouth, running his tongue around the rim. Clearly in no rush to finish, he took me further into his mouth and sucked back to the top. He took his time alternating between sucking and licking.
Trying to keep my hips still, I leaned my hands on the back of the lounge and closed my eyes. He hummed around my cock, and the vibrations ran right through me. The suction increased, and he pulled me further into his throat.
My breath caught, and I had to concentrate so I didn’t push forward and make him gag. He pulled back and released my cock with a loud pop. Shifting down a little more, he leaned his head back on the lounge and pulled at my hips as he looked up into my eyes. “Fuck my mouth, baby.”
