“Oh, honey, you’ll always have me and Kinsley. You never have to worry about that or being alone. Just concentrate on what you’re feeling and go from there.”
“I really don’t know how I can concentrate on anything when I feel so downright confused and miserable. For so long, I’ve only wanted Scott back, to be engaged in December, and now I don’t know what I want.” She looked up at Arden, her eyes filling with tears. “What do you think all that means?”
“Honestly?” Arden’s expression softened. “I think it means that you need a hug and a good night’s sleep. Hopefully, in the morning you’ll be able to think more clearly.”
And as Arden wrapped her arms around her, Elena hung on and hoped more than anything that her friend was right.
…
As Lucas stood in the corner of the ballroom, nursing a negroni, he kept an eye out for Elena. Scott was there, talking to some of his coworkers by the bar. But as far as Lucas could tell, she still had yet to arrive at the Christmas party.
Scott’s company obviously spared no expense on the holiday party this year. The music was lively, couples were out on the dance floor, and the champagne flowed.
But all he could concentrate on was looking for Elena.
He hated the way he’d left things with her earlier in the week. Their communication since then had been limited to a few short text or email exchanges and that was it. All joking around had stopped. No more in-depth conversations. And there certainly was no further mention of the kiss they’d shared. She had definitely pulled back from him, and he respected her obvious wishes and kept his distance, too. But he missed their friendship. Missed her. He wondered what she was thinking about him now. Wondered what her feelings were for Scott.
A flash of red in a sea of black dresses caught his eye. His mouth dried even though he’d just taken a sip of his drink, and he licked his lips. Elena stood at the entrance in a strapless red gown that hugged the curve of her hips in a way that had a few men passing by her turning their heads and sneaking another look.
He wanted to punch them all.
Elena’s gaze finally fell on him, and she sent him a shy smile. She wore her long chestnut hair down and it bounced in soft waves against her creamy white shoulders as she walked over to him. “Hi,” she said, a little breathless.
He swallowed. “Hi. You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she said, her gaze cast downward.
They stood in silence for a few beats. He had no idea there could be so much tension generated from two people who were barely looking at each other.
“Have you seen Scott yet?” she asked.
Scott. She wanted to know where Scott was. Of course. Silly, that he would even think she would want to talk to Lucas for any other reason. Stupid to think she’d still want to be his friend. But damn it, her dismissal of him and what they’d shared the last few weeks stung.
“He’s here,” he said between clenched teeth. “I haven’t spoken to him yet.”
“Oh, right. Well, you’re probably waiting for this,” she said, holding up a small packing tube. “It’s the last of the drawings I promised. Right on time.”
He hesitated then reached for her drawing. “Thanks.”
“Transaction completed then,” she said with a light laugh.
Right. Lucas knew what she meant. Their agreement. Was that all that was left of their relationship? A cold business transaction that had been fulfilled? It didn’t seem right. He was left with a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. Elena had become more than all that to him, he realized, but he didn’t have the time to take it out and fully examine it just then. “Don’t worry. I promise I’ll talk to Scott about your engagement tonight.”
“Oh…of course. Good.”
Her bland tone had him narrowing his eyes. “You still want me to do that, right?”
“Yes.” Her voice was bright, but she kept her eyes away from his. “Of course I do. It’s only fair, since that was the agreement. You got what you wanted after all, right?”
Lucas glanced down at the paper tube in his hand, feeling as if his arm would fall off from the weight of it. He was being ridiculous. This was what he wanted. What he’d worked so hard for. The ad campaign was complete. He was sure the other partners would be pleased and offer him the promotion as soon as they heard. Then why wasn’t he elated? “Yeah. This will help me cinch partnership for sure.”
She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m happy for you.”
Well, hell. That made one of them who was happy.
“Listen, Elena, I—”
“There’s Scott,” she said, pointing to a group of men in tuxedos. “Now’s your chance. This is pretty much my last shot.” She nudged his arm.
Right. Her last shot—and apparently his.
He nodded. Then turned and made his way through the crowd, feeling as if he and everything around him were moving in slow motion. Scott was looking down at his phone when Lucas finally walked up to him. “Great party, Scott.”
Scott glanced up and grinned. “Hey, glad you could make it. Elena here yet?”
“Um, yeah. I was just talking to her,” he said, jerking his thumb behind him.
“Talking to her and offering her a full-time job I hope.” He waggled his eyebrows up and down.
“No. Just…talking.”
Scott shook his head. “Crap. Elena having a real career would have been an awesome Christmas gift for both of us.”
“Look, about that…I know what I said about marriage before, but I was wrong about all that, primarily because you would be marrying Elena. She’s the best thing that’s happened to you. You were wrong about her not bringing anything to the table in your relationship. Hell, as far as I’m concerned, she is the table. She—she’s really wonderful. Incredible even. She’s smart, funny, sweet, and talented. You’d be a fool to give her up a second time, because I know firsthand that there are plenty of men out there who wouldn’t hesitate in making her their own if you don’t.”
Men like me.
Men like him? His hand fisted around the paper tube. No, men like him functioned better by themselves. At least, that’s what he had to keep telling himself.
Scott cocked his head, eyes narrowing. “Is that a warning?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s a fact. But one that’s pretty meaningless, since she only has eyes for you.”
Scott studied him an extra beat. “Thanks,” he said, sticking out his hand. “So you really think Elena and I make sense together?”
He didn’t trust himself in answering, so he merely nodded. Even if having Scott and Elena back together wasn’t what he wanted, it was what Elena wanted.
Scott looked over his shoulder. “I’m going to go talk to her now. Maybe you’re right. She is great. I should give us another chance.”
Lucas stood there, feeling as if part of his soul had been cut out of him. His heart was pounding, but he’d get over it. He hoped. It wasn’t like Elena wouldn’t still be in his life or still wouldn’t be his friend. Just not his.
Logically, it was best it worked out this way. She’d be with the right man. The man she thought was right for her. Lucas had to remind himself that he couldn’t be who Elena wanted. Scott was the one who would make her happy. And more than anything, he wanted Elena to find happiness.
Even at the sacrifice of his own.
Scott started to head off in Elena’s direction, then quickly turned around. “Hey, thanks again, man. And Merry Christmas.” Before Lucas could even respond, Scott caught sight of Elena, waved, and then disappeared into the crowd.
Lucas stifled a sigh as his heart grew heavy.
Yeah. Merry freakin’ Christmas.
Chapter Thirteen
Scott waved as he headed in her direction. He looked so handsome and put together tonight with his blond hair slicked back and his trademark confident grin. As soon as he reached her, he took her into his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips. She smiled as he pulled
back to look at her. That was about all she could muster. A smile. There was no zing. No warm belly flip-flops. Nothing. Had Scott’s kisses always been this way? She wondered if she would have ever noticed if she hadn’t kissed Lucas. Oh gosh. Her head was starting to hurt.
“Let’s dance, babe,” he said, taking her hand and pressing a kiss on her knuckles.
“Sure.” Yes, a dance would be good. Being in Scott’s arms might help clear her feelings about him. But as they swayed to the music, she couldn’t control her gaze from wandering the room, but who she was searching for was nowhere in sight. “Where did Lucas go?” she asked. “I thought I saw you guys talking.”
“Yeah, we did,” he said, pressing her against his chest. “He mentioned something about you being a superstar artist. Not that I’m surprised. I’m really proud of you.”
Her heart lifted at his words, and she grinned up at him. She hadn’t known that Scott had seen any of her work. But she supposed Lucas might have shown him. “Really?”
“Absolutely. I didn’t think you’d ever want to leave Cape Harmony.”
“I—what?” She tripped, but Scott’s arms tightened and kept her from stumbling. “Scott, I didn’t say anything about wanting to leave Cape Harmony.”
“Well, of course you will. Lucas hinted that he wouldn’t be surprised if his company offered you a full-time position. Once I learned that, I started looking at some great places in Brooklyn that would be a little quieter for us.”
“Wait.” Her brain was having trouble making sense of what he was saying. “You’ve been looking at places for us?” They weren’t even officially back together yet.
“Yeah. Nothing too serious. Just keeping an eye on the market. After talking to Lucas, I realized that maybe I was a little rash in calling off the wedding.”
Her eyes lifted and her heart stilled, but for all the wrong reasons. “What did Lucas say about me, exactly?”
“He just reminded me how smart and pretty and fun you are, and that we make a great couple, especially now that you’re a hotshot artist. It’s kind of funny, but I feel like all the boxes are finally checked for us. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I should have known all along.”
Funny, but she had thought the same about him, too. Like everything was lined up perfectly. But now, it just felt…off. And wrong.
He sent her a sheepish grin. “I wasn’t exactly planning on doing this now so I don’t have the ring with me, but we really do make a good team. I can see that now. We can build a life together. I threw it away once, but I won’t do it again. So, Elena Mason, will you do me the honor—again—of agreeing to marry me?”
Startled, she gazed up into Scott’s handsome face. He looked dashing in his tuxedo, and just as Lucas had predicted, with the music and decorations, the atmosphere was perfect and oh so romantic. Scott was proposing again. Saying all the right words. This was everything she’d wanted. Everything she’d dreamed of. Her life was back on track. A December engagement, and to Scott.
Too bad none of those things generated even a single heart flutter.
Scott swallowed. “Well? What do you say, Elena?”
Her head wanted to say yes. Yes, to a cure for her loneliness. Yes, to her chance to build a family of her own. But her heart would not let her.
“Um, can we talk about this in private?” she asked, lowering her voice.
“That’s not really an answer, sweetheart.”
She gazed around the room of happy, smiling couples on the dance floor and felt her conviction grow stronger. “No, however, I think the response I’m about to give should come with an explanation.”
“I don’t understand. I thought this was what you wanted.”
Yes. It was. Key word being was.
Sniffling, she looked up at the man she’d once thought was her world. “Scott, I have a confession to make. As much as I really enjoy drawing and working on that project with Lucas, I’m not sure what I’ll decide to do if they offer me a full-time job. But I feel it should be my decision, not yours. And I shouldn’t make that decision just to make you happy. I want to do what will bring me happiness—even if I’m not exactly sure what that is yet. Do you understand?”
Scott stopped dancing and guided her to the corner of the room. “But don’t you see how great it would be if you worked up here in New York? The two of us navigating the city together, having our worlds be more in sync. If you love me, you’d want to see me happy. I do things I don’t want to do to make you happy. After all, I sent you flowers every Friday, didn’t I?”
She stilled at his words. Oh gosh. She was going to be sick.
She swallowed with difficulty and found her voice. “You didn’t want to send me flowers? But I thought you sent me a bouquet every week because you were being romantic. My dad did the same exact thing for my mom, but he gave them out of love.”
“Of course I sent them to you out of love. But initially, I sent them because I thought you were mad when I had to rush off to the office for an emergency meeting and it interrupted your birthday dinner. I wanted only to smooth things over, but then you told me the story about your parents and I just continued to send the flowers because of that. You really seemed to love it.”
“Oh.”
Yes, she had loved them, when the motivation behind the gift had been different. She wanted his actions to be out of love, not obligation. Suddenly her perfect reasoning for believing Scott was the one wasn’t looking quite so perfect. She didn’t really see them making a good team, not when he was making decisions for her and not with her. Had she been blind to more reasons? It didn’t matter now. All she knew was Scott didn’t make her happy anymore. Maybe Arden was right. Maybe she had been concentrating on the wrong goal. If she were ever to be content, she needed to focus on herself first.
He cleared his throat. “Elena, just so you know, I’m okay with you keeping your job in Cape Harmony. I’m willing to overlook it because I love you.”
Elena shook her head. Scott still didn’t get what she was telling him. He didn’t really know her at all. She didn’t want someone to just overlook her choices for her life. She wanted someone to cheer her on no matter what she did. Someone to offer encouragement when she stepped out of her comfort zone. A man who was proud to be with her not because of what she did but because of who she was.
A man like Lucas Albright.
Too bad that man didn’t want her. He didn’t want commitment.
The tears pushed at her eyes, and she blinked them away. “I’m sorry, Scott. This isn’t going to work. I think it’s over. For good this time.”
Scott dropped his arms, his cheeks going red and splotchy. “Is this because of Lucas?” he said, his tone turning bitter. “I sensed something weird going on between you two. I don’t know what he told you, but Melanie is just a client. I broke it off with her last week. Honest.”
She blinked. Lucas hadn’t said anything to her about Scott seeing other women. Although she doubted she would have listened even if Lucas had. Not that she blamed Scott for dating, but he obviously hadn’t been as upset about their canceled engagement. And now that she could step back and really take in the big picture, she wasn’t as upset about their broken engagement as she once had been, either.
In fact, like Lucas had thought from the very beginning, she and Scott weren’t really meant to be.
She sent Scott a sad smile. “No, it’s not because of Lucas,” she answered truthfully. She raised on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek for the last time. “We’re not getting back together because of us.”
…
Lucas figured he had spent most of the morning staring at his laptop screen. He should have been working on a proposal for a mega nutrition chain who had contacted him out of the blue. But he didn’t have quite the same level of enthusiasm he’d normally drum up when confronted with acquiring a new client.
Was he coming down with something?
He’d felt unfocused the last few days, hadn’t slept well, and had bar
ely eaten.
He couldn’t help but wonder what Elena and Scott had been up to this past weekend. Probably went out and celebrated their getting back to together. Maybe even their engagement. He was going to hurl.
A knock on his office door drew his attention. Marshall walked in with a huge grin and carried a bottle of champagne under his arm. “Great news, Lucas. Craig is so pleased with how everything turned out, he’s willing to delay the rollout until spring. He wants to make sure everything is in tip-top shape before the unveiling, so we have more time for any— Hey, is something wrong?”
Everything was wrong.
Lucas couldn’t care less about the Fun & Games campaign. He couldn’t care less about his work. And worst, for a man who prided himself on working and being alone, he suddenly felt very, very lonely. It was a terrible feeling.
“Everything is great,” he answered instead.
Marshall sat and placed the bottle on the table. “A little Christmas thanks for you,” he said, gesturing to the champagne. “You can also use it to celebrate.”
Lucas frowned at the bottle. “Celebrate?”
“Yes,” his boss said, smiling. “I know it means some extra long hours at different times during the year and more responsibility, but we can’t think of anyone more deserving, especially after this Fun & Games Toys project. Lucas, I’m pleased to be able to offer you a full partnership in Bold Mine Advertising.”
Lucas stared at his boss, soaking in the words and offer he’d been working on for so long and immediately wanted to call Elena and share the good news with her. And realized how much he’d come to depend on their friendship. On their working together. Their partnership. He wouldn’t have this position at all if it wasn’t for her.
Unfortunately, this position also meant nothing to him now without her in his life.
Romancing the Rival (Accidentally Yours) Page 14
