by Anna Bloom
His smile faltered and his fingers trailed along the outside edge of my jaw, along my cheekbone. “You know I’d have left it all for you. That night, on New Year’s Eve, I was ready to give up.”
I nodded. “New Year’s Eve changed everything. I wish Bella was here to see it.”
We stared at one another until he nodded. “Me too.”
“So, Your Majesty.” I grinned wickedly, trying to alleviate the heaviness. “Does my King have plans for the first night of his reign?”
He snatched me up, huffing the air out of my lungs. “Oh, I can assure you I do.” His words whispered against my lips, setting my heart to flight. “But I have one more thing I want to show you before I do any of that.” His smile made my stomach drop with anticipation.
“Do not get your long pole thingy out here!”
He laughed, loud and free; his first true laugh since the night his sister died.
“Come here.” He pulled me a bit further down the hallway until we stood once again outside the doors of St Edwin’s Chapel.
“You know I’m still not officially allowed in here, right?”
He pushed on the handle and opened the door. I gasped as we walked in. Unlike the night of his unexpected proposal, tonight the chapel was lit with not only beautiful pillar candles that illuminated the room with a golden glow, but also fairy lights that hung from the raftered ceiling.
“What’s this?”
“Now this, I’m ashamed to admit, was what I originally had planned. But then as has been the case throughout our entire relationship, my hand was forced and things didn’t quite happen the way I wanted.”
“It’s beautiful in here, Ollie, but I would have said yes regardless.”
“Oh, I know.” He flashed me a breath-taking smile. “But here is the thing I want to give you as my wedding gift.”
“Not your long pole thingy.”
“Leia, please stop talking.”
“Sorry.” I clamped my lips together.
“This is a new monarchy now. With you by my side, finally, I can show people who I am. Meeting you helped me to realise that’s what I needed, who I wanted to be.”
I nodded, too scared to speak and ruin whatever he planned to say.
“So that’s why I want us to get married in here. Not a big state wedding. Of course we will have to keep it politically correct, but I’m sure there is a way we can work around that. But I want you and I to stand in here, in front of the people of the country who have never been allowed in here before and show them how much we love one another.”
I had nothing.
Nothing.
“Of course, if you’d rather get married at St Paul’s and have the whole shebang, then that’s cool.”
He stared at me trying to read me, looking for the questions I so frequently painted across my face.
“Yes.”
“You’ve already said yes.” My favourite quirk came out to play.
“Yes. You. Here. Me.” There you go, four words in no particular order.
He swept me up, his lips brushing against mine, his arms crushing me tight. “I’m going to worship you, my Queen, for the rest of my life.”
“Maybe don’t say that during the ceremony. We don’t want all your elderly relatives getting hot under the collar.”
“Leia! I’m trying to have a moment here.”
I stared at him, my mouth wide open, passing catching flies. For the first time realising that he didn’t get it. Didn’t get the absolute magnitude of the feelings I’d had for him since the first second we met.
“Everything about us is a moment, Ollie. Everything.”
“Truth.”
“One hundred percent.” I grinned and turned, ready to run, a wild giggle lodged in my throat. “Your Majesty.”
Epilogue
And breathe.
“Miss Lawrence, you need to calm down, your make-up is sweating off as fast as I can put it on.” The poor make-up artist looked like she wanted to have a sweat-filled panic attack of her own.
She couldn’t. All the panic attacks were mine, all day long. It’s called bride’s privilege.
“Molly, can I have some champagne?” I swivelled my gaze to my friend; my eyes the only part of me I could move.
“No champagne, you’ve got to walk in heels.”
I grumbled under my breath, but I knew it was for the best.
Heels were one thing. Heels while the entire world watched me walk in them via a live broadcast—that was something else.
My phone, clutched in my sweaty hand, vibrated and I waved my free fingers to get Lizzie, or was it Izzie, to stop. “Sorry, can I just look at my phone?”
She did the awkward curtsey thing people did around me these days. Ever since the King had announced the wedding, and that the whole country were invited, people hadn’t known how to greet me. I wasn’t yet the Queen consort, not for another few hours, but then I was no longer just plain Leia Lawrence either.
The King.
I had to think of him as just Ollie. If I focused on that one simple fact, I might be able to get through this day.
Because the other side of this day there promised to be a future of perfection. Married to the man I love, our daughter by our side, loving and giving the way that we seemed to do best.
His official adoption of Daisy had tied us together far more than a wedding band could.
I just had to get past the high heel thing first.
Twenty steps from the door of the chapel to him.
Twenty steps. I’d counted them last week on the rehearsal. The last of five rehearsals. So many things to think about: where the cameras would be, where the subtle lighting could enhance the candles and fairy lights Oliver had promised.
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
The King Mother, already dressed in a beautiful silk dress of deep midnight blue, knelt in front of me and from the outside of the buzzing in my ears I heard an emergency champagne cork launch towards the ceiling.
“Leia. Once you get down there it will be easy, I promise.”
I shook my head. She didn’t understand.
“Can you imagine a life where Oliver isn’t your husband?”
I gave another shake of my head.
“Then you’ve got to get through the day. Try to enjoy it. It’s a celebration of your love, one the whole country can take part in.”
I nodded, my tongue still sticking to the roof of my mouth. “But everyone will be watching.”
Margi laughed. “Leia, they’ve been watching you for a year, today is no different.”
My phone vibrated again, and I glanced down.
Are you alive?
I smiled, although my lips felt all funny. Oh God, I’d be the royal bride to grimace through her photos.
Just. I texted back.
Thank God. I was about to ask them to close the borders in case you’d done a runner.
I chuckled, a wave of emotion rising inside me.
Still not running.
Look out of the window.
Smiling apologetically at the woman waiting to finish off my face, I got up from my chair and smoothed down the silk dressing gown that covered my underwear. I stepped up to the curtain and then angled myself behind it. There were cameras everywhere today, official and not so official. I no longer cared about that. Private, not secret had become the new royal motto and it worked for us. We gave the press most of the things we did, and they in courtesy didn’t chase for wild smoke stories. A compromise had been reached.
I peeked out from behind the curtain and gasped as Oliver stepped out onto the pathway directly under the window. I hadn’t seen him since the morning before last and I ached for him. For his laugh, his touch, the passing kiss he would plant on my neck as we’d go about cooking breakfast together, or in the evening when he’d sit down on the sofa and pass me a glass of wine, picking my feet up and rubbing the soles of my feet while he read through paperwork and all sorts of things a King had to do
.
I ached for him in my soul.
He grinned up at the window, spectacular in a morning suit with long black tails and a vibrant purple waistcoat. In his hands he held some white pieces of what looked like paper. I squinted at them as he pointed between his chest and then to me up at the window.
Holding up the first one he waited for me to read. I. Second one. Love. Next. You. I struggled to breathe. My Queen.
I placed my hand against the window as we stared at one another.
Tradition be damned.
“Wait,” I called, holding up my finger, his eyes widened, and he flashed me that smile that made my knees weak.
I turned back to the room where all my friends and the people helping me get ready for the day waited. “I won’t be a moment.”
“Leia Lawrence, stop right there.” Nana buzz-killed my excitement. “You are getting married in one hour, you can wait that long.”
I grimaced, pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth. I thought about it for half a second. “Sorry, can’t.”
Clutching my robe tight around me, I ran for the door, picking up the small bag that Molly would carry for me throughout the day.
“Leia! Your face!”
I didn’t care. I slipped down the stairs in my stockinged feet and ran for the doors that led to where he would be.
He waited, his arms coming around me right as he pulled me in, his mouth against my neck. “How many hours was that?”
“Too many.”
I pressed feverish kisses to his mouth, his cheeks, until he eventually pushed me away.
“I’d say you looked like the beautiful bride, but it seems you aren’t ready yet.” One of his hands slipped under the light fabric of my robe and his eyes widened. “Now that, I can’t wait to see later.”
“I’m sorry. I’m trying to get ready. I just keep…”
“Sweating?” His lips quirked.
“That obvious?”
“No, just I am too. Seriously, you don’t want to see under the arms of this shirt right now.”
I laughed so loudly and clutched my hands against lapels of his dress coat. “You look very handsome.”
“And you look beautiful. I’d be happy to forgo the wedding dress if it weren’t for the millions of people watching.”
A ready calmness radiated from my chest. He made everything normal. He always had.
“I got you a wedding gift. I wanted to give it to you later, but I think now is the right time.”
His eyes widened. “Leia! There are cameras everywhere.”
“Shush. Here.” I unclipped the jewelled bag, again distracted for a moment by the sheer weight of one handbag. Inside, the present weighed next to nothing in comparison. “I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I was trying to be romantic.”
He stared at the small plastic stick.
I mean, it wasn’t yesterday’s. This one was fresh this morning, just to double check.
“That blue cross means the royal spermage did its thing.” I chuckled nervously, trying to fill the silence as he stared at the pregnancy test.
“I’m speechless.”
“Well you aren’t speechless, because you just said, ‘I’m speechless.”
“Leia, please shut up.” His lips landed on mine with a hunger that ate into my heart. I kissed him back with everything I owned, every cell of my being, even the cells that didn’t belong to me, that came from something we’d created together.
Eventually, I pulled away to meet his bright gaze. Tears made them sparkle. “I have to go and get ready for my wedding now.”
He nodded, still visibly shocked. “Can I keep this?”
“Sure.”
I watched as he slipped it into the inside pocket of his coat. “I’ll see you at the altar.”
I nodded and then turned back for the stairs, knowing he was watching me every step of the way.
Back in the room I walked into an audience of expectant gazes.
“Okay. Let’s get this bride ready.”
Margi went to hand me a glass of champagne, but I shook my head. “For the nerves?” she asked.
“I’ll explain later.” I gave her a hug and then submitted myself to the ministrations of Lizzie or Izzie and her royal contouring.
Strange that when it came to it my nerves fluttered away like butterflies from a flower in the height of summer.
I walked around the side of the palace on the route that had been agreed. Our insistence to get married in St Edwin’s Chapel had caused some planning issues.
Where were the cameras to picture me getting out a car and having my train smoothed by my attendants? There was no car. There was no drive to a church or cathedral.
So instead we’d agree that I’d walk around the side of the palace and then up the front steps so the royal supporters who had been camping for days could see me walk in. The Mall was packed, people from all over the world waiting to see this unlikely fairy tale come true.
I waited for the nerves, but they just didn’t come.
The King Father, Henry, waited for me on the bottom step. Janine stood by his side and stepped up to adjust my dress with Molly’s help. Daisy stood quietly, her dark blue eyes wide and round as she held Nana’s hand.
The dress, designed with the help of Emilia, was nothing short of perfection. It spoke my story: simple, understated, and a dream that a young girl never dared to hope for. Thick ivory silk spread out in a full skirt while the fitted bodice finished with a simple scoop neckline and long sleeves. Little pearl buttons ran down the back and at the cuffs. Disney had no place in my wedding dress.
Initially I’d always assumed Nana would walk me down the aisle. It seemed right. But it had been Nana herself who’d reminded me that Henry would never be able to walk his own daughter and place her hand in her future husband’s himself. Bittersweet and tart with regret, this had been the right choice.
He smiled as he leant forward. “A little birdie tells me you’ve broken the rules this morning.”
“Always a rule breaker.”
He pecked me on the cheek and then with Molly’s help lowered my veil over my face. The crown on my head had been given to Isabella on her eighteenth birthday. It shimmered with sapphires and diamonds and I’d specifically asked for a simple hairstyle, just a knot at the base of my neck, so that it could take the full glory.
“You look beautiful, Leia.” He smiled and held out his hand. “Are you nervous? I’ve been told to keep you upright.”
I laughed and turned for the gates, giving a small wave to the people the other side, receiving a giant cheer in response.
Then I turned to my daughter, the entire reason for my survival the last seven, nearly eight years. My eyes stung as I waved her in front of me. “After you, Princess Daisy. Just walk to Daddy, okay?” Jacob’s mother waited for her inside, ready to sit and hold her hand on my side of the chapel once she’d done her bridesmaid duties.
Janine gave me a thumbs up and then slipped inside. Liveried ushers would be there to make sure she’d find her way to her own seat in the small chapel.
My breath caught as Daisy walked in followed by Molly.
When Nana turned it took all I had not to crumple. She didn’t say a word and neither did I. We watched one another until a small smile lifted her lips and then she turned ready for the command to start the walk.
When she left, I gripped Henry’s hand tighter as he lifted it and then hooked it through his arm, giving me a little pat of reassurance.
“Five, four…” To my right a royal herald counted us down.
Then we were moving. It happened too fast. I couldn’t slow it down. Couldn’t breathe in the moment.
We walked past the State Room where all our dignified guests and various other A-listers waited. I heard the gasp as they saw me, but I kept on walking. I wouldn’t falter, every step took me closer until we were at St Edwin’s and the glow from the lights, the warmth of the room just ebbed into my bones.
Henry paused by t
he door and through my abstract kaleidoscope of thoughts I could hear the rustle of the guests standing up inside.
“I am honoured to give you away, Leia, and to have you in my family.” Henry’s voice lowered, gruff and deep.
I breathed then and focused on the doorway. The smell of roses filled the air, late blooming jasmine, and the wax of the burning candles, delectable and homely all at once.
This was never meant to happen.
A fairy tale.
A wild dream.
Yet here I was.
Walking towards my King.
Behind me burned a devouring fire. Flames that would consume me; end me. A tragic past that could have destroyed me. Hunger, neglect, fear and loneliness.
One step ahead was the flood of our love, washing everything clean, giving hope to so many who didn’t even know who I was. Not yet anyway.
They didn’t know my doubts. My fears. The dark moments I survived when I worried I would never be enough.
But he was my King. His hand outstretched, his smile telling me to trust.
And I did.
I took one step and then another until I almost flew to be at his side. Turning and bending at my knees, I passed my bouquet of cream roses and purple lisianthus to Daisy.
His eyes held mine as our hands were placed together and the Archbishop of Canterbury, who I couldn’t look too closely at because he wore a dress and a pointy triangle crown, talked us through our simple and traditional vows. There was nothing to change, no tweaks to be made, no amendments that would change anything other than the fact we both swore to love, honour, and obey until death do us part.
“Oliver and Leia, bear witness to the love of God in this world, so that those to whom love is a stranger will find in you good and generous friends. By the power vested in me by God, I pronounce you husband and wife.”
“I’m assuming I can kiss the bride?” Oliver winked at me.
“Yes, Your Majesty, that’s normally how it goes.” Our guests chuckled but then fell into silence as my Ollie leant forward and brushed his lips against mine. More natural than breathing, his fingers danced along my collarbone until they cupped my face and then he stepped closer, so he towered down over me, kissing me with everything he had, for all the world to see.
