‘I’m just going to head to the bathroom.’ I excused myself and weaved through the crowd, headed for the door at the side of the room.
As I walked in, I pulled out my phone. Huh. Two missed calls from work. That was strange. Maybe Jenny was sick, and needed me to—
No.
Emily.
Maybe it was Emily.
My hand shook as I swiped across to call back. I leaned against the bathroom sink. My heart thundered in my chest, and I gripped the phone as tight as I could. Please don’t be her. Please don’t be the girl I care for so much.
‘Hello, Happy Families House, Jenny speaking.’
‘Hi, it’s Zoe. I had a missed call?’
‘Zoe.’ The sound of her breath echoed down the line. ‘I’m sorry to interrupt you on a weekend, but I thought you’d like to know.’
‘Don’t apologise.’ My voice cracked. I clapped a hand over my mouth. Damn it, no.
‘It’s Emily.’
It’s Emily.
My chest felt as if it were ripped in two.
‘She’s slipped into a coma.’
* * *
Sawyer
‘So what’s up?’ I asked Kristy, my eyes scanning the crowd for Zoe. She walked away from Leigh, headed—ah, the ladies room.
‘I just want to talk to you about Zoe. We’ve not had a moment alone all week, and now that I’ve seen you together, I …’
‘You what?’
‘I need to tell you something. Something bad.’ She pressed her lips together.
‘Sawyer! Player of the Year’s getting close.’ Henry Harrows, one of the other nominees from Perth, clapped me on the back. ‘May the best man win.’
‘For sure.’ I nodded, and he walked away.
‘Odds are it’s you or Braden. Poor Henry doesn’t stand a chance.’ Kristy shook her head. ‘Not important. Zoe. I think she’s playing you.’
‘Playing me?’ What did she mean?
‘She’s going overseas, and I know you said you’re cool with that, but Sawyer, I’ve known you since you were three. I can tell when you’re in too deep, and you’re in too deep.’
‘We’re going to make it work. We haven’t talked about it yet, but we’ll try long-distance. And I’m off for a while now anyway. Maybe I can visit—’
‘Absolutely not,’ Kristy snapped.
‘Kristy, I love you.’ I placed my hands on her shoulders. ‘But you don’t get to make these kinds of decisions for me.’
‘Well, will someone else do it for you?’ She shrugged my arms off, then smiled politely up at me. Always thinking about the cameras. ‘She went on a date with another guy. That Jarren creep, who owns Zantop, our sponsor. She went out to dinner with him while you two were supposed to be seeing each other.’
‘I …’
No.
My esteem crumpled. She couldn’t have.
She wouldn’t have.
Would she?
You didn’t think Ava would hook up with Braden, either, and look how that ended for you.
Self-doubt crept in. Zoe ran when I told her I loved her. She was moving overseas. She might have hinted that her tryouts for the Aussie Rules team were serious, but she hadn’t come right out and said it.
Maybe this was exactly what we said it was when we first got together—a game. One she took a lot less seriously than I did.
But that’s not the Zoe I love.
Memories flashed in my mind. Her racing down the oval earlier today, that determined look on her face. Her face, mouth open in pleasure and I licked between her legs in that hotel room in Sydney. Her body, so small, her heart, so broken as she let me hold her in the shower, let me comfort her how she needed.
No.
This wasn’t a game.
It wasn’t for me, and it wasn’t for her.
‘I don’t know why you think she’s going on other dates, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mislead me.’ I glanced around the room. Where was she?
‘Sawyer, I heard it from the horse’s mouth—’
‘And I can’t wait to hear her side. He’s probably a relative, or maybe it was a work thing—it doesn’t matter, because you know what?’ I waited a beat, but my sister had the grace not to answer. ‘I trust her, Kristy. And I really want you to, too.’
She sighed, looking up at me with those eyes that mirrored our father’s, back when they were steady. Back when we were growing up. ‘I’m sorry. I will. But you have to understand, I worry. You were so broken after things ended with Ava, and now I want things to be great for my little brother. I want this.’ She gestured to the room behind her. From the open door, I could see the stage, the lectern where the award would be announced later tonight. ‘I want you to be Player of the Year, and Happiest Man of the Year, and All Round Good Guy of the Year too.’
I smiled. For a younger sister, she sure took a lot of responsibility. ‘That’s just it, Kristy.’ I wrapped one arm around her shoulders. ‘I think I’m headed for happiness either way. I don’t need an award to prove it.’
Overhead, the bell chimed, indicating it was time for us to head backstage before the announcement.
‘Get off me.’ Kristy shoved at my side, laughing, and I joined her.
‘Okay. You go head to our table, or flirt with Leigh, or whatever was next on your agenda for the evening,’ I teased, and Kristy made a mock-outraged face. ‘I have a woman to find.’
I scanned the crowd for that familiar golden-brown hair, the most beautiful woman in here by far, but I couldn’t see her.
Where had Zoe gone?
Chapter 34
Zoe
My knees went from under me. My phone scattered across the small while tiles on the floor. The muffled voice of Jenny called my name from the other end of the line, but I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.
Emily.
I’d known it was coming, but I thought she had months. Weeks.
Not days.
Not hours.
Not Emily.
I choked on a sob as it crawled up my throat. Oh God, Nick. I needed to be there for him. How was he coping with this if I was falling apart? They were from the country—he didn’t have any support network nearby.
Numbly, I crawled across the tiles, the beads on my dress making a scratching sound. ‘Sorry,’ I whispered into my cell. ‘I dropped … dropped the phone.’
‘Are you okay?’ Jenny asked, and I shook my head.
No.
No, I wasn’t.
‘If you want to say any goodbyes, the doctors have told me now is probably a good time. Nick says he’d love you to come if you want to visit, and he’s told the nurses in the hospital as such. But Emily doesn’t have long left.’
My heart broke. It felt as if chains had been roped around it, weighting it down in my body. I stifled a sob, hating the way I felt, hating the way the world could be this cruel.
‘I have to go, sorry, Zo. I might see you later.’ The line went dead, and I stared at my blank screen. I had to go. I had to go to her.
Tears ran down my face. God, what was I doing? I couldn’t sit here on the bathroom floor like this. I pulled myself up to the sink, but the tears wouldn’t stop. Every time I dabbed at my eyes with a tissue from the box by the sink, every time I thought I had it under control, a fresh wave would hit. She was so young. She was just a child. How could I never see that face again?
I’d leave now. If I rushed, I could get there in forty minutes, max. Sawyer would understand.
But I’d already left him hanging once before. I still hadn’t told him I loved him, or that I was staying in town. And the whole reason he’d suggested this arrangement in the first place was to make it to these awards. I couldn’t leave him hanging … could I?
‘If you want to say any goodbyes, the doctors have told me now is probably a good time. She doesn’t have long left.’
Yes.
I hated to do it, but I had to.
‘Zoe?’
Ava stood in the doorway. It clos
ed softly behind her, and I swiped under my eyes, took a deep breath. Lord, I was embarrassing Sawyer. Get it together, Zoe.
‘Here.’ Ava rushed to my side, pulling the box of tissues closer and offering me one. ‘You look like you could use this.’
‘Thanks.’ I pointed to the discarded pile by my side. ‘I’ve already been through a few.’
‘Are you …’ She shook her head. ‘You’re not okay. Is it … Sawyer?’
‘No!’ I protested. ‘Lord, no. He’s amazing. He’s …’
He’s someone I’m going to let down.
Because I had to go see Emily one last time. I had to say goodbye.
Death wouldn’t wait.
‘He is pretty great.’ Ava’s lips twisted, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror. ‘You know, when we first met I didn’t really like you.’
I sniffed. No surprise there. ‘Has anything changed?’
She shrugged one shoulder, then opened her clutch, fiddling around before pulling out a stick of concealer. ‘Here. Use this.’
‘Thanks.’ I dabbed under my eyes with another tissue, then took the stick.
‘Something did change. Me.’ She looked down at her clutch, snapping the lock closed. ‘When Sawyer and I broke up, I didn’t like parts of him anymore—but I still loved him. And I think seeing him move on hurt me more than I was ready to admit.’
‘But you moved on too.’ You moved on first.
‘I know. Things with Braden were never meant to happen like they did. We probably wouldn’t have ended up together, but we had one drunk night, and then I thought …’ She looked at me, bit down on her lip. ‘I thought we were pregnant.’
She what?
‘We weren’t,’ she rushed out. ‘Turns out, stress can make a girl late, and worrying about the consequences of sleeping with your ex’s best friend can cause some serious worry.’
‘I bet.’ I dabbed at the concealer, trying to blend it in. Hurry. Get to Emily. Get to Emily now.
‘But anyway, I still felt this strange right, this sort of … claim to Sawyer, and I wasn’t the nicest to you, and I wanted to say sorry.’
‘It’s fine.’ In the grand scheme of things, it was nothing. Not compared to what was going on now.
Pain walloped me in the chest again, and I pressed my eyes closed. Emily’s face as I read her a book, enraptured. No. How could she be dying?
I gripped the cool marble sink again, trying to soak up its strength. I had to keep it together, just long enough to get out of here.
Emily …
‘I have—I have to go.’ I opened my eyes to see Ava’s worried ones staring back at me. ‘I’m sorry. A patient of mine is sick, and I—’
‘Go. Go.’ Ava pointed to the door. ‘Do you need anything? I can call my driver.’
‘I’ll get a cab.’
She shook her head, her phone already out. ‘It’s Melbourne on a Saturday night. It’ll take too long.’ She paused. ‘Yes, hi. I need you round the front in five minutes, for an emergency trip. Passenger’s name is Zoe …’ She waved her hand at me, as if indicating for more.
‘Taylor.’
‘Zoe Taylor.’ She ended the call, all business. ‘You’ll need these.’ She handed the box of tissues over.
‘I can’t steal hotel—’
‘I’ll leave a hefty tip at the bar, but you do not look capable of surviving whatever crisis you have going on without them. Do you need me to tell Sawyer you’ve gone?’
I shook my head. The least I could do was tell him myself. ‘It’s fine. I—’
A bell rang overhead.
‘That’s the second bell. It means the awards are about to start. The foyer will be empty in a second—perfect timing.’
I grabbed my phone, dialling Sawyer’s number. Pick up, pick up.
It rang and rang. Damn it.
I dialled again. Where was he? Maybe he couldn’t hear the ring over the din of the other guests.
‘Come on.’ Ava grabbed my wrist and led me out of the room, into the foyer. She pointed toward the red carpet. A car was slowly pulling into the turning circle at the end of it, but thankfully, the crowds once lining the ropes had well and truly dispersed. ‘It’s the white BMW. License plate is Ava.’
Only a few people stood clustered in the corner. Sawyer wasn’t one of them.
I craned my neck to see inside the room where the awards were to take place. Hundreds of people in black and white blurred my vision.
‘Zoe.’ Kristy walked over to us, her arms folded. ‘Sawyer was looking all over for you.’
‘I …’
‘She had some personal issues to deal with.’ Ava’s voice was crisp, clinical. ‘Now, can you get him for her, quick? It’s an emergency.’
‘He’s backstage. They’re about to announce the awards.’ Kristy looked me over, and a kindness softened her eyes, one I hadn’t seen there before. ‘Want to come backstage? They don’t usually allow it, but I’m sure I—’
‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘Thank you, but no. I have to go. A work thing, I—can you please tell him to call me when he gets a chance?’
Kristy’s lips thinned, but she nodded once, brief. ‘Yes.’
And with that, I raced down the red carpet to the car.
This time, running didn’t set me free.
The chains on my heart felt heavier.
Chapter 35
Sawyer
‘Good luck, boys.’ Braden nodded to me, Henry, and the two players from the Sydney team as we lounged about in the small green room. The welcome speech always took a while.
Henry nodded. ‘Thanks. You too.’
The Sydney players remained silent. No doubt their recent loss was too fresh for comradery.
I fiddled with the sleeve of my suit. Where had Zoe gone? Kristy assured me she’d stay back and find her, but I hadn’t seen her anywhere.
I reached in my pocket to grab my phone. Call her. I could just call her and—
Empty.
Damn it.
I mustn’t have put it back when Kristy called while we were in the car on the way to the awards.
As if I’d summoned her, the door swung open and Kristy walked in. ‘Sawyer, I have bad news.’
‘Is she okay?’
‘She said she had to go. A work emergency.’ Kristy slowly shook her head. ‘I don’t want to worry you, but she was really upset. I think perhaps she might … need you.’
Work? On a Saturday night?
For her to leave me hanging when she knew how important this event was, it had to be something big. Something life or death.
Oh no. Emily.
It had to be Emily.
That poor kid, and her dad.
Poor Zoe.
‘Okay, boys. Two minutes till we need you on stage for the highlights reels.’ A woman in a headset gave us the direction, then power-walked out of the room.
Two minutes till we were on stage. Photos shot of us individually, then as a group. Highlights reels played for each of the five candidates. A speech given by last year’s Player of the Year, and then the big announcement, followed by another speech, followed by more photos.
No.
I wanted to, but I couldn’t do it.
I needed to be there for my girl, because she needed me. Because I wanted to prove to her that I wasn’t like her dickhead of an ex, or the footy player stereotype. I was ready to put her first.
This time.
Every time.
‘Sorry,’ I said to Kristy on my way past, headed for the door. ‘I have to go.’
‘Sawyer,’ Braden called behind me, but I didn’t look back.
The only way I could look was forward, to my future.
To Zoe.
***
Zoe
The car ride took too long, but the walk to the door of Emily’s room wasn’t long enough. I stopped outside the room the nurse directed me to and took a deep breath. There wouldn’t be that smiling face in there, ready to greet me. She’d be still.
I turned, sinking into a seat beside the door. I couldn’t go in.
How could I say goodbye when I was so far from ready to let go?
One sob broke free. I buried my face in my hands. I had to be strong. This was nothing compared to what Nick must have been going through.
But why did it hurt so much? Why couldn’t I stop picturing that face in my mind, over and over on repeat?
Smiling, holding a book.
‘Zoe …’ Her voice so light.
Looking up at Sawyer with all the admiration in the world.
Laughing, kindly. ‘Girls don’t play football.’
The seat beside me sighed as a weight shifted into it.
A warm hand rubbed my back, and I peeked out behind my curtain of hair to see Sawyer.
I jerked up in alarm. What was he doing here?
‘You—you’re supposed to be at—’
‘I’m supposed to be with you.’ Sawyer pulled me closer to him.
‘But you might be getting an award,’ I said, muffled against his chest.
‘Zoe, this is more important.’ He pulled back. Two steady green eyes met my own. ‘I’d choose you over that, any and every time. Because I love you. And I know last time I said it it wasn’t exactly planned, but this time, I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I love you. I fucking love you, Zoe Taylor.’
Tears pricked my eyes. He … loved me.
Sawyer loved me.
And even though I’d never have dreamed of asking, he’d made a huge sacrifice to be by my side when I’d needed him the most.
‘I …’ I shook my head. Couldn’t speak. More words would mean more tears, and I didn’t have the strength.
Sawyer seemed to know.
He stood, linking hands with me and pulling me to my feet. ‘See that?’ He held our hands up together.
They looked good. They looked as good as they had the first time he’d done it. ‘They fit so well.’
‘The perfect fit.’ He nodded, then turned to the door, to the sadness and sickness that was lurking behind it. ‘We’re going to face this together.’
Chapter 36
A Whole New Ball Game Page 18
