He shook his head. “I wasn’t. You had a thing for me, so you didn’t really care that I was barely scraping by in my classes or got into fights with bullies who liked to pick on those who wouldn’t or couldn’t fight back. I might have been sticking up for kids, but I got sent to the principal and suspended to the point that one more suspension would have gotten me expelled.”
“Not everyone is academically oriented,” she said. “And how terrible that you stood up for the underdogs. What a terrible person you were, Matthew Fielding.”
A rush of dread filled his lungs. She didn’t get it. “I had nothing back then and I have nothing now, Claire.”
“Then why do I like you so much?” she asked. “Then and now? Huh? Answer that.”
“Because you’re romanticizing old times. Because I seem like some kind of hero for taking in that spinning pup and calming her down, and for adopting Hank, who’s the coolest dog in the world. No medal deserved there.”
“You’re consistent,” she said. “I’ll give you that.”
“The truth is the truth. I am exactly who I appear to be.”
“I know,” she said, shaking her head, but there was a hint of a smile on her pretty face. “So, it pays to know the owner of the Main Street Grille. Amanda, who also volunteers at Furever Paws, gave me an extra slice of chocolate layer cake in a doggie bag for my ‘awesome new tenant who adopted Hank.’ That’s you.”
“But it’s a doggie bag, so shouldn’t these guys have it?”
She did smile this time. “You know full well that chocolate is toxic for dogs, so it’s all ours. I’ll give them each a peanut butter treat for welcoming Hank so nicely.”
He guessed that meant he was going inside her house, having that slice of cake, continuing this too-personal conversation. He could—and would—turn it back to dogs.
She called the dogs to follow her, and they all trooped inside, Matt glad to get Claire out of the cold. In the kitchen, Claire gave them all treats, and then Dempsey showed Hank around the house, Sparkle at their heels. All three dogs ended up sitting in front of the door to the deck, staring out at night critters no one could detect.
“This cake is really something,” Claire said, setting the slice on a plate and placing it on the kitchen table. She took two beers out of the refrigerator and slid one beside the cake.
Matt took a bite. Mmm, chocolate heaven. “This was thoughtful of you.”
She took a sip of beer. “Well, you did a very thoughtful thing.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Ah, you mean adopting Hank.”
“It’s a big deal,” she said. “We were really worried he’d never find a home, and then, whammo, the perfect owner and home presents itself.”
“I’m hardly perfect. And I don’t have a home, Claire. Again, again, again, you make me out to be something I’m not.”
“Or you just don’t see yourself the way I do. The way a lot of people do.”
“Were you always this bossy and stubborn?” he asked, then took another forkful of cake. “Oh, wait, you were.” He smiled.
She smiled back at him. “So enough about us, tell me about you. How did your first few hours with Hank go?”
“Great. He’s so calm. And even though Sparkle has mellowed a lot from when I took her in, I think Hank is even more of a calming influence on her. Nothing throws him. A slammed door, a pot lid dropping. He’s unflappable. And did you see the way he can chase a ball? He’s amazing.”
She scooched her chair close and kissed him on the cheek, then threw her arms around him.
And, oh hell, it felt so good that he wrapped his arms around her and tilted up her chin. “I want to kiss you more than anything right now.” He wasn’t going to deny himself this. The pull was too strong. The need too great.
“Be my guest,” she said, puckering up.
He laughed. “How am I supposed to kiss you when I’m laughing?”
“Like this,” she said, covering his lips with hers, the softness making him melt into a puddle on the chair. Everything about her was soft and smelled like spicy flowers. He couldn’t get close enough.
“Want the rest of the cake?” he asked.
“No. I just want more of you,” she said.
“Good.” He scooped her up, his leg only slightly bothering him, and followed her directions to her bedroom, laying her down on the bed.
In seconds, her dress was over her head and in a heap on the floor, along with his shirt and pants. She kissed a trail along his neck and collarbone, her hands all over his chest and pushing down at the waistband of his boxer briefs.
“You’re sure?” he whispered. “Despite everything?”
“I’m sure,” she whispered back. She pulled open the drawer of her bedside table and took out a box of condoms. “These might be a few years old.”
He found the expiration date. “These are actually good until tomorrow.”
Surprise lit her green eyes. “Meant to be, then.”
He didn’t know about that.
But he couldn’t resist Claire. Not tonight. Not for another moment. Being with her felt so good, made him feel good about himself, even if afterward...
She said she was sure. She wanted to be taken at her word, had told him to stop making decisions for her, so maybe he really could let himself have this. Tonight. With Claire. Hell, maybe she was right, and it would get him out of her system and she could move on. And he would leave Spring Forest, headed for who knew where, Hank beside him, to start fresh.
Her hands were all over his back, in his hair, and then the boxer briefs were being pushed down. He undid her lacy black bra, inhaling that light perfume in her lush cleavage, and then her hands moved lower, and he lost all ability to think. Finally, eighteen years after meeting Claire, Matt made love to the only woman he’d ever loved.
Chapter Seven
He was gone before she woke up, and as a teacher, Claire woke up at the crack of dawn.
Which meant he’d sneaked away in the middle of the night, unable to deal with the aftermath.
Ah, there was a note on her bedside table, sticking out under her phone.
C—Have early plans, didn’t want to wake you. Took the dogs out, Dempsey too. See you later.
—M
Who had plans at 6:00 a.m.? No one, that was who. Plans to get away, maybe.
That was fine. Listen when someone tells you who they are and how they’re going to hurt you. Wasn’t that one of her many mottoes? Matt Fielding had made his intentions clear. And so she couldn’t fault him for not spooning her all night and then waking her up with kisses along her shoulder, whispering sweet everythings in her ear. There was no everything. There was no anything!
That’s fine, she repeated, getting out bed, grateful, at least, that she didn’t have to open the deck door to let Dempsey out in the winter chill. A dog walker came every weekday at noon to let Dempsey out and throw a ball for her, and Claire had thought about asking Matt if he’d do that when he took out Sparkle and Hank at midday, but it was probably better that he didn’t have a key to her house.
Sigh. At least the sex was amazing, she thought as she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Amazing. Being with Matt was everything she’d always imagined and more.
But he was leaving town after he finished training Sparkle.
Just keep your heart out of it, and you’ll be okay. He’d done the shelter two big favors by fostering one dog and adopting another. He’d done her body a big favor by making her feel like liquid. Granted, she was all hunched and tense now, but it was worth it.
Her head set on straight, Claire got ready for work, with her heart only slightly sunk. By the time she arrived at the middle school, her mind was on her students—a welcome distraction, as they demanded so much from her in so many ways. They were reading the novel Wonder, which had every one of them ful
ly engaged, and the day was spent on projects related to the book’s themes of inclusion, acceptance and the power of friendship.
After the dismissal bell rang for the end of the school day, Claire graded quizzes and killed some time tidying her up her desk to avoid going home before Divorce Club—which was the pet name for the “book” club she belonged to. Two teachers at the middle school had started it, but when they discovered that all four members were divorced, talk had quickly turned from the book they were supposed to read to their lives and marriage and divorce. They met at a different member’s house every two weeks. The meeting didn’t start till four thirty, but Claire didn’t want to go home and run into Matt. She just wasn’t ready to see him or listen to his excuses or however he’d awkwardly explain his disappearing act.
Ah. Finally time. Claire drove over to Danielle Peterwell’s house, which was near the area where Claire had grown up. She took a detour of a few blocks to drive past the house she’d lived in with her parents and Della and various dogs over the years. Nostalgia gripped her, and she sat there in her car for a few minutes, until a woman came out of the house with a baby in a carrier and a little boy. The boy scampered across the lawn for a few seconds—like Sparkle, Claire thought with a half smile—then she watched the woman put the carrier into the car and help buckle the boy into his seat.
Huh. Maybe the universe was trying to tell her something by having her stop here. Being all hung up on Matt wasn’t going to get her that baby and little boy and a partner to share her life with.
She lifted her chin and drove over to Danielle’s, determined to keep her head on straight—and on what she wanted most of all: a family.
At Divorce Club, the members all said their hellos and attacked the very nice spread the hostess had set out: miniquiches, fruit and a light sangria.
“Now last time, I’m pretty sure Claire had a blind date set up by her sister?” Jen Garcia said. “Do tell,” she added, taking a sip of sangria.
She’d almost forgotten all about that guy—Andrew something. The lawyer her sister had fixed her up with. Two dates ago. “It actually started out pretty well, but he basically told me at the end of the date that he’d hooked up with his ex the night before.”
“He randomly told his blind date that?” Lara Willkowski asked. “Idiot.”
“Well, I kind of saw an old boyfriend at the restaurant,” Claire admitted, “and when the date asked if I wanted to go for a drink after dinner, I told the truth about being sort of distracted.”
“Date fail,” Danielle said with a grin.
“Hey, wait,” Lara said. “Was the old boyfriend Matt Fielding? From high school?”
Claire nodded and slugged some sangria.
Lara plucked a miniquiche from the tray. “I thought I recognized him. I saw him in the park the other day with an adorable little puppy.”
“He’s fostering the pup for his sister while he trains her. Sparkle’s a gift for his young niece.”
“Wow, that’s nice of him,” Danielle said pointedly.
The group knew how passionate Claire was about Furever Paws. “And yesterday he adopted a ten-year-old, three-legged dog named Hank,” Claire said. “I’m sunk.”
She wasn’t going to mention last night. She basically had to forget it herself.
“And...?” Jen prompted.
Claire shrugged. “We’re kind of on different paths.”
Luckily, Danielle started talking about how she and the first guy she dated after her divorce were on different paths too, to the point that he moved to Nepal to climb very tall mountains. Which led to a conversation change to outdoorsy men who liked to hike when Danielle just wanted to go out to lunch or dinner and wear cute shoes. Jen, who loved to hike, had had a date with a couch potato the other night, and they were both willing to give it another try.
But there was nothing to try when it came to Matt. Claire just had to accept that they were in two very different places in their lives and looking for different things. She had to let him go.
Even after that glorious sex. Even after feeling so close to him that while he was making love to her, she kept thinking: this is what homecoming feels like.
Keep it together, Claire, she ordered herself. Don’t get all emotional right now. The Divorce Club crew was great and would rally around her, but she didn’t want the focus to be on herself.
She thought about what her late mother had told her when she was struggling in the aftermath of her divorce. You sit with how you feel, and you accept that you’re heartbroken. You don’t have to pretend to feel fine. Just let yourself feel what you feel and grieve. It’s all part of the process.
Now, she’d take that good advice again and let herself sit with her feelings about Matt, though her emotions were all over the place, her thoughts about the situation ping-ponging as if Dempsey and Hank had the rackets. She’d always loved Matt and always would.
And unfortunately, last night, she’d fallen deeper.
“So do you think there’s a chance you and Matt could pick up where you left off?” Danielle asked as she set out the dessert tray; four slices of cherry cheesecake. Claire was going to eat every ounce of that cake, despite the chocolate cake she’d had last night. In fact, she would probably let herself have all the decadent desserts she wanted this entire week.
“Only in my fantasies,” Claire said.
“You never know,” Jen said, forking a piece of cheesecake. “That’s become my new motto.”
But Claire did know. Unless she wanted to break her own heart this time, she’d keep her emotional distance from Matt Fielding.
* * *
Using a high-backed chair for support, Matt did the exercises his new physical therapist had had him do this morning. Zeke Harper, an old buddy from town, whom he’d run into at the park a few weeks ago while teaching Sparkle the come command, had recommended him. Zeke knew the guy from volunteering at a veterans’ center, and had mentioned that Matt still had some stiffness from his IED injury. The guy had offered to work with Matt free of charge, but could only fit him in at 7:00 a.m. The workout had hurt but had felt good. Just like now.
When he’d woken up in Claire’s bed this morning, he’d almost been amazed it hadn’t been a dream. He’d lain there, also aware that for the first time in months, he hadn’t had a nightmare about the day he’d been injured, the day that had sent him home. He’d opened his eyes to find Hank sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at him with those soulful, amber-colored eyes. Sparkle and Dempsey, meanwhile, were curled in Dempsey’s dog bed on the other side of the bedroom.
And then there was Claire. His beautiful Claire, whose face and voice and memory had seen him through the worst of his recuperation, like an angel. He’d never expected to run into her in Spring Forest; he’d never imagined in a million years she’d still be in their old hometown. And then he woke up in her bed, naked, next to a naked Claire.
He shouldn’t have touched her, but maybe she was right about them getting each other out of their systems.
Not that that was working yet. He’d thought of little else all day but how good last night was, how comfortable and natural and right. He had to keep reminding himself to keep things on a physical level, to keep emotions out of it.
Because he was leaving. Probably sometime in mid-to late March, a few weeks, six at most, he figured. Sparkle was coming along so well in her training that she’d be good to go very soon. Ellie had come over after school today as planned, and Matt had taught her what he knew. If Ellie thought he walked on water before, now she looked at him with wonder and called him the Dog Prince.
That had made him laugh. Matt Fielding, anyone’s prince. Even a dog’s.
“Right, Hank?” he asked, giving the old guy a belly rub. Hank immediately stretched out his long body so that Matt wouldn’t stop. “Maybe I am the Dog Prince. Or do I have that backward?” he asked, givin
g Hank a vigorous rub. “You’re the best, dude,” he said.
Hank just stared at him, but Matt knew the dog could understand him.
A car pulled into the driveway, which told him Claire was home. He owed her an explanation for leaving the way he did that morning. After the night they’d shared. Despite the note, he had to say something.
He heard her deck door open, so he went down the stairs to the yard. The weather had turned colder, just above freezing, and she stood there, her arms wrapped around her coat.
“Hey,” he said as she reached the bottom landing. He should have put on gloves. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.
She glanced over at him. “Hi.” She threw a ball for Dempsey, who went flying after it.
“I just wanted to explain why I left so early,” he said, looking everywhere but at her.
“No need. You’ve made yourself clear, Matt. You don’t owe me explanations. And I don’t regret last night. Not a single second of it. And that includes you leaving at the crack of dawn. Last night was a long time coming.”
He tilted his head. “Yes, it was.”
“Well, it’s freezing out here, so I’m going to get Dempsey back inside.”
He nodded, wishing he could go with her, wishing for a repeat of last night, wishing again that things were different, that he had a future to offer her.
As she opened the sliding glass door and Dempsey scooted through, he said, “Claire?”
She turned.
“Did it work? Did you get me out of your system?”
She looked at him for a moment. “No.”
Neither did I, he thought as she disappeared inside. Neither did I.
* * *
Claire avoided Matt the following week, which was difficult since she always waited until he came back in with his dogs early in the morning before taking Dempsey out. She wished things weren’t so strained between them. She missed Sparkle and Hank. And Matt’s niece, Ellie, had been over twice after school when Claire had gotten home. She’d wanted more than anything to join them in the yard to watch Matt teach Ellie training tips. But she’d stayed inside.
A New Leash On Love (Furever Yours Book 1) Page 9
