“She’s stubborn.” Kendrick rolls his eyes.
Alex’s been waiting around the house for twenty minutes now. He got here way too early. We’re all supposed to go to the movies together today, and I’m nowhere near ready.
But what I’m even less ready for is returning to this hell they call school tomorrow. Tanner agreeing to leave me alone unfortunately means going back to my regular life, which includes school. Kendrick said Tanner promised to make good use of his contacts all around the street fighting community to get people off my back. It’s time to start living again. I can’t spend the rest of my senior year in hiding.
Plus, Maria said that I have to prepare for the finals if I want to stand a chance at graduating. I feel like I’ve missed so much. At least, now that I’m single, I’ll have plenty of time to catch up with my online classes.
I put my cereal bowl away—that I couldn’t fill all the way because Will drank all the milk again—and walk out of the kitchen. I’m in desperate need of a shower and silence, which doesn’t exist in this house since Will’s been staying with us. It’s been a few days now. He said something about needing a break from some family drama. As the overly nice person that she is, Maria said yes. I think the guys are starting to grow on her.
I wince, thinking back to Haze alone in Colton Gate. I haven’t heard from him since I left town.
I mean, you did block his number. It must be pretty hard to contact you.
Inner Winter?
Yeah?
Shut up.
I can’t stop wondering what he’s doing. If he’s seen Riley again since I left. If she finally got what she wanted. I bet she was very pleased to find out that I was gone.
The bathroom next to the kitchen is occupied, so I try the one on the second floor. Just before I can turn the doorknob, voices flare on the other side. Two voices to be exact. I press my ear to the door.
Riley at the beach and now this.
Eavesdropping is my new thing, apparently.
I can barely discern a low voice saying, “I’ll talk to him. I promise. No more lying.”
I hear nothing for a while, then footsteps. I hide in my bedroom, which gives me a direct shot of the show, and peek through the partially closed door. Someone walks out into the hall.
Kass.
Who was she talking to? I swear I heard a guy’s voice. She looks around as if to make sure that nobody saw her, goes back into her bedroom, and closes the door. My doubts turn into facts when someone else walks out of the bathroom.
Will.
It hits me.
I remember running into him in the morning a day before the fight. He was leaving the house in a hurry and looked like he’d been caught red-handed.
I can’t believe I didn’t see this sooner.
He was probably sneaking out of the house after spending the night with Kass. Something’s going on between these two. They’ve totally been shacking up behind Kendrick’s back. This might also be why Kass has changed recently. She looks freer, less uptight. More Will. When it’s not me and Haze, it’s Kass and Will.
Oh, well. Kendrick is going to be pissed, but I ship it.
I lock myself in the bathroom and ignore the unwanted flashbacks of the rather heated moment Haze and I shared the morning before everything went to hell. Thinking that this will never happen again feels surreal… impossible.
After a quick shower, I dry myself, throw on a sweatshirt and leggings, and pull my brown hair into a messy bun that makes me look like a homeless man. My lack of sleep is showing. I need to fix whatever’s happening with my face. My eyes jump to my makeup bag on the counter, and I make the effort of opening it. Yes, effort. Any possible trace of confidence or motivation I had disappeared when I left Haze. I feel like there’s no point to even trying to look somewhat cute if he isn’t there to see it. He’s the only one whose eyes I want to catch.
“Canada! Hurry or we’re leaving without you. The movie’s starting in fifteen,” Will calls out, and I run downstairs.
“Should we tell her that she accidentally used Nesquik as foundation?” Will mocks a girl passing by when we step out of the movie theater. Ryder, Alex, and Kendrick cackle at the sight of the young girl who, indeed, is wearing a foundation way too dark for her skin tone. It’s okay, girl. We’ve all been there. Or at least, I have. I used to wear dark chocolate foundation and think I was fooling everyone.
The movie only increased my annoyance with anything that rhymes with love. It was supposed to be an action movie, but, of course, the main character fell for the hot girl who can kick ass and… there goes my mood for the rest of the day.
The guys don’t want to go home just yet, but Kass and I have had enough. Ever since I witnessed Will and my cousin sneaking around this morning, I’ve been noticing them sharing glances that are packed with desire from time to time. The tension is unmissable. How long has their secret love story been going on right under our noses?
The boys suggest that we go to the arcades next to the theater, but since Kass and I aren’t in the mood, we opt for the nearby coffee shop instead. Kendrick and Will decide to send Ryder on coffee duty while they burn the very little brain cells they have left playing video games.
I haven’t really said a word to Ryder since two days ago when he and Kendrick confessed to everything, but I have to admit he isn’t too bad. He’s still the nice guy I spent a day at the fair with. I just wish our entire relationship hadn’t started with a lie.
Just before we walk away, Kendrick receives a message. He checks his phone and turns to us.
“Party at Rose’s tonight,” Kendrick reads out loud.
“Who’s that?” I ask.
“Tanner’s ex. They’ve been on and off for like two years.” He shrugs and proceeds to reply to the text. “You up for it? I know I am.”
I’m not surprised by his willingness to go. Kass said that Kendrick’s been on the rebound since Nicole broke up with him. Everybody agrees to his unexpected plans except for me. Kendrick raises an eyebrow in my direction.
“Winter?”
“Will Tanner be there? I’m not trying to die tonight.”
Will laughs. “No, I think she dumped his ass for good a month ago. She’s seeing some other guy now.”
I hesitate at first but decide I have nothing better to do than cry about Haze tonight anyway.
Oh well, I’ll watch movies and stuff my face some other time.
“Count me in.”
They nod, satisfied with my decision. Kass, Ryder, and I cut across the street, and I push the glass door to the coffee place open. We enter the very modern shop that gives me Pinterest vibes and sit by the bay window. Ryder offers to order for all of us since the line is long. I promise to pay him back. As soon as Kass and I are alone, I drop the bomb.
“So… you and Will, huh?”
Her face grows pale, and she wiggles in her seat. “Me and Will what?”
“I saw you this morning.”
She bites on the inside of her cheek.
She knows she’s busted.
“Don’t tell Kendrick.”
“Why?” I ask. I’ve never known Kass to care about Kendrick’s opinions. I had the proof of that when she dated Blake.
“Will doesn’t want him to know.”
So, this is all him.
“How long?”
“A while.” She fidgets with her phone. “He promised that he’d talk to him, but he never does. I’m so sick of this.”
We’re interrupted by Ryder coming back to the table with way too many drinks. The guys have been treating him like their service boy. That’s the price to pay for being the newbie, I guess.
Kass says she has to go to the bathroom and leaves us alone. A blonde I noticed Ryder was chatting with while waiting in line comes up to him and drops a Post-it on the table. It has her number on it. Ryder cracks an uncomfortable smile as she walks away. I laugh at his expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. She
’s just… not really my type.”
She’s absolutely gorgeous. The guy must be blind.
“And what exactly is your type, Mr. High Standards?” I take a sip of coffee.
“I don’t know. I have a very specific type, and she’s just not it, I guess. I prefer brunettes.” His voice is full of suggestion.
Is he talking about me? I don’t have the energy to overthink it. I wasn’t into him then, and I’m not into him now.
“Hey, listen. There’s something I need to tell you.” He glances at the bathroom like he’s afraid Kass will come bursting through the door any second. I don’t reply, sinking in my seat. “I’m sorry… for the way it all started. I know you must think I’m a jerk. Truth is, that day at the restaurant, me pulling the same trick on another girl was a dare. Kendrick and I were bored out of our minds, and he challenged me to try and see if it could work again. It was wrong of me, and I felt guilty as soon as it happened. I just want you to know that.” His dark eyes seem sincere.
Ryder’s a really attractive guy. To most girls, at least. Like I said, I’d probably be into him if things were different. I know he’s probably close to Haze in the looks department but not in my heart, he isn’t. I begin articulating a reply, but I’m interrupted by an unexpected text message popping up on my screen. I furrow my eyebrows. Apart from Kass, Maria, and Allie, I don’t have lots of people to text.
This is the part where I wonder where to buy myself a life.
I pick my phone up, and worry devours me. It’s from an unknown number. I’ve never been the luckiest with unknown numbers, that’s for sure.
Unknown: This prick again? I thought you had better taste, Kingston.
My heart stops. I glance around the coffee shop nervously.
There’s no way.
No way that he’s here.
I would’ve seen him. You don’t just miss Haze Adams.
Ryder asks me what’s wrong, but his words are wiped out by my heart pulsing in my brain. My eyes refuse to stop searching for his face.
He’s here.
He has to be.
That’s when I see him.
Walking inside the coffee shop with a smug face and wandering eyes. Just like that, I lose track of, well, everything. Heads begin to turn. I hear one of the girls—who I recognized from school—at the table behind us whisper, “Is that Haze Adams?” and her friend snorting, “Yes, I heard he got back yesterday. I wonder why. No one’s seen him in a while.”
He raises his eyebrows at the sight of me and smiles. It’s that easy. With just one look, all the lies I’ve been feeding myself since I left Colton Gate crumble to pieces. They’re right.
The notorious bad boy is back in town.
But what they don’t know is…
He’s back for me.
22
Unforgivable
“Is everything okay?” Ryder, whose back is facing the door, asks. He has no idea that the person responsible for the dark bruise under his eye just walked into the coffee shop.
I try to speak, but my lips remain sealed despite my best efforts. Haze is looking right at me, not even slightly bothered by the countless eyes set on us. He looks breathtaking. Facts are facts. My miserable brain might’ve tried to convince itself that he isn’t all that during the past few days, but it didn’t stick one bit. It’s clear now that I’ve been lying to myself.
He’s all that and more.
Dark circles reside under his eyes, giving away that he hasn’t been sleeping as much as he should. Is he half as messed up as I am? Is it because of the breakup?
Relax, Winter. Maybe this is just a coincidence. Maybe you just happened to be at the same place and he texted you.
You blocked him, dumbass. That would mean he got a new number just to text you.
Yeah, definitely not a coincidence.
Please don’t walk toward me.
Please don’t walk toward me.
And… he’s walking toward me.
Does my brain still function? I’m not sure. This freaking guy. He could straight-up ask me if I like cheese and still make me doubt my capacity to speak English. He stops next to us, and Ryder’s face flutters in shock. I assume mine is worse.
“Still hanging out with this asshole, I see.” He stares at Ryder like he’s hoping it will make him disappear. “Going undercover to ruin a relationship—that’s low, dude. Even for scums like the East side.”
God, I missed his voice.
I don’t bother questioning how he knows about Ryder’s stunt. He’s still the West side’s main, which according to Kendrick is just a less formal way to say leader, and his guys probably filled him in the second he came back into town. Will told me the East side rebounding after Blake’s betrayal was the talk of the street fighting community for a while after we left.
I almost forgot, while we were away, about this whole street fighting mess. For a second there, when Haze kissed me the night of the storm, he was just a guy I’d fallen in love with. Not the leader of the West side, not a dangerous heartbreaker with attachment issues. We were just two stupid kids living the dream.
Until reality came settling in and we were forced to wake up.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, avoiding his persistent gaze on me.
“We need to talk.” His voice is firm, low.
I want to say no, but the mere sight of his blue eyes, that are crammed with guilt, is enough to change my mind. I know it won’t make things better. We’re hopeless. We were hopeless from the very second Riley came back, but I still tell myself that there’s no harm in one quick talk.
Ryder speaks on my behalf. “You wish. She’s done with you, man. Forget it.”
“I’ve punched you once—are you looking for round two? You still got one good eye. I’m down,” Haze threatens, and I know the girls at the table behind us are hanging on to every word. Ryder’s fists turn into weapons.
“Go ahead, try. You just got lucky last time.” He gets up.
This is not happening right now.
“Guys, stop.” I bounce up, place a hand on Ryder’s chest to stop him, and instantly feel Haze’s eyes burning where my fingers meet Ryder’s shirt.
“Seriously, Haze, why are you here?” I move my fingers away from Ryder, and Haze’s shoulders drop.
He exhales. “To fix the biggest mistake of my life.”
Man… why does he have to say things like that?
“Five minutes. That’s all I want,” he says when I don’t reply.
I take in a sharp breath.
“Five minutes,” I agree.
Haze’s face lights up like he’s surprised—no, in disbelief—that his begging actually worked. As for Ryder, he stares at me disapprovingly, but I overlook his drawn eyebrows and head to the door with my ex. The whispers following us like shadows make it clear that the news of Haze’s return will travel almost as fast as my heart is beating right now. Haze Adams back in town and after the new girl! Who knew he could care?
We have to distance ourselves from the shop to get somewhat decent privacy. We don’t need them gawking at us during such a painful moment. I walk by his side, the wind blessing me with a draft of his cologne and causing me to get weak in the knees.
This freaking guy part two.
We come to a stop in an empty parking lot. Now that we’re finally alone, without everybody’s eyes on us, without the whole world’s disapproving comments stinging in my head, I know it’ll take all the willpower I have not to fall back into his arms.
He speaks after a few seconds of us staring at each other. “You blocked my number.”
“Five minutes. Is that really what you want to talk about?”
He slides his hands into his jeans pockets and sighs.
“I’m an idiot,” he says.
“Don’t say that.”
“No, I am. I’m more than an idiot, actually. I’m a blind idiot.”
He gets a faint laugh out of me.
“I’m an idiot because I di
dn’t believe the only person on earth who believes in me.”
Why do I feel like he’s about to drop a bomb on me?
“You were right.”
My pulse quickens. “What?”
“Jake’s not mine.”
I can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.
“I confronted Riley. I asked her for a paternity test. She freaked out, confessed to everything. She cheated on me when we were dating. I don’t have a kid. I never did.”
I was right.
I was right.
I tried to tell him, and he dismissed me like I was crazy.
This could technically change everything. Not wanting to be the stepmother is the main and most important reason why Haze and I couldn’t work. But I’ve had nothing but time to think during the past sleepless nights. The father thing was a problem, yes, but there’s also everything else.
There’s the fact that I feel betrayed. I feel like I gave him my trust in a heartbeat, and he couldn’t give me his when it mattered the most. The fact that even when he promised to tell me everything, he couldn’t. He still didn’t want to open up about the mysterious kid’s room in his house.
“That’s great. I’m happy you got the truth.” I ignore the tightening of my heart. I can literally see the hope draining out of his blue eyes.
“It doesn’t change anything, does it?” he asks, but it comes out as a statement.
“What did you expect, Haze? That I’d just fall back into your arms and pick up where things left off? You hurt me. I’m glad you got the truth, but it doesn’t change the fact that it took you this long to believe me.”
“Winter, please…” He tries to grab my hand, but I don’t let him.
“Sometimes, I think about how much I love you and it scares me. Because then I realize that you’re never really all in. You say you feel the same, but somehow you’re always two steps away from backing out. One step forward can mean five steps back any day with you, and I don’t know if I can take it.
“Then there’s also the fact that I barely know anything about you. I’ve never seen or heard anything about your parents until the lake house. It’s like they don’t exist. What’s the deal with them? You promised to tell me about the room I found back at your place but never did. You’re still so afraid of opening up to me while I’m over here telling you everything you want to know without blinking. That’s not fair, Haze. It’s okay to have issues. We all do, but I guess… when you didn’t give me your trust, you lost mine.”
Unspoken Rules Page 20
