by Anne Marck
Sounds ridiculous, I know. I’m an adult man who is bothered by the interactions between two young people of the same age, who are possibly discovering some fucking attraction to one another.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wish tonight would end so we can go home.
I lean against the wall, feeling a throbbing in my temples.
“What’s going on with that girl?” Sophie’s softly spoken question surprises me.
“She’s been staying at my house.” I let out the trapped air in my chest, unable to stop looking at Luna.
Sophie’s gaze follows mine. “Troubles?” Her inquiry is free from any judgment. As a social worker, Sophie deals with complicated situations all the time. To some extent, she has instincts trained to recognize this kind of thing. She’s already helped with some cases here, so there’s no reason to lie to her.
“Yes, but not in the way you’d think.”
The pretty brunette shakes her head sympathetically. “So what’s bothering you, then?” The question comes out calm but assertive.
I look over to where Luna is talking to Thomaz and Jasmine, a young woman who eats here frequently, and sigh. “I don’t like the way I think when it comes to her,” I admit, hating to acknowledge it.
She smiles lightly. “That bad?”
I involuntarily groan at my own situation. “Enough to fuck with my mind.”
Sophie doesn’t say anything for a long moment. In my peripheral, I notice her chest quickly moving up and down.
“The world teaches us to keep our distance from certain feelings, Dominic, as a kind of self-preservation, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good.” Her words cause me to look up at her serious expression. “We shouldn’t stop ourselves from feeling. Our happiness is also important.”
The pain barely hidden in her eyes makes me aware that she doesn’t practice what she preaches.
“You saw him?” I broach carefully, studying her features.
Her lips twitch slightly, and her eyes wander. I want to pull her into a hug, but I stop myself to avoid unnecessary exposure.
Some of the cases that Sophie takes on are from here in the center, and a reserved woman like her certainly wouldn’t appreciate those individuals seeing her weaknesses. She needs to be strong for them.
“Nico is in the past, Dom.” The defeat in her voice clenches my gut.
“He’s an imbecile for not seeing what was right in front of him,” I state.
She just smiles with a mix of sadness and acceptance.
Before we became friends with benefits, we were friends, and I will always be here for her. I know all the shit in this woman’s past. I would give my right arm to go back in time and be there for her when she needed it the most.
Lifting onto her tiptoes, she kisses my cheek, an indication of her departure. It’s always like this—a little talk about Nicholas Salvatore and she leaves.
“I’d better go now.” Her soft tone doesn’t hide her agony. “If you want, come to my house tomorrow.”
“Maybe.” I touch her hand. “You know you can trust me, Sophie.”
She smiles. “I know, and it goes both ways. By the way, you’re too old to be afraid.” She watches Luna, letting me know exactly what she’s talking about.
I follow her gaze and find the blue eyes of the fire-haired girl on me.
Luna
Dominic takes us back to his house, not talking the entire way. I don’t feel like talking either. To see all those women clamoring for his attention, and then his affection with Sophie, it’s causing pain in my chest. I don’t have the right, I know.
Staying at his house is a mistake.
When we enter his apartment and I hear him closing the door, I take a deep breath, gathering the courage to present my argument. For some stupid reason, the idea of avoiding him hurts me.
I remove the hood from my head and tighten it between my fingers. Then I turn to look at him, surprised by our nearness. I lose my resolve when his scent enters my nostrils. My mouth dries.
“Dominic,” I whisper, my throat clogged and a burning sensation in my eyes.
“Luna.” His hard tone doesn’t encourage me.
I stare at his gray irises. “I’m going to find another place to stay this week.”
I may be seeing things, but I think his body stiffens. And I even think I hear him grind his teeth.
“You’re going to stay here until you’re all right, Luna. Not before that.” A low growl leaves his lips, well contoured behind the beard.
The ferocity that I see in him touches me like a breath of cold air, speeding up my heart. My body screams at each little creep forward that our proximity causes. There’s no denying it. But I can’t dream of this man anymore. My life has already stepped out of line for me to accept something like this.
I lick my dry lips. “You can’t decide this for me, Dom,” I whisper without taking my eyes off the gray mist.
I didn’t mean to use the nickname Sophie used. But a crappy feeling—maybe jealousy—is running through my veins like venom.
Without the strength to continue facing the situation, and after seeing what my words provoked in him, I turn to take refuge in his bedroom. But my wrist is caught between his warm, rough fingers before I can take another step, and I’m brought back to face him. I swallow hard at what I see.
“I’m being patient with you, Lu, just don’t forget that even a man like me has his breaking point. Don’t tease me.” The hardness of his words sends shivers throughout my body.
We stand in a duel, and I am drawn by an unbearable desire to be closer to him, to kiss him.
My throat burning like embers, my body trembling in nervousness, I impulsively lean in toward Dominic’s face and close my eyes.
A heavy breath bursts from his chest, and the warm air coming from his nostrils touches my mouth, lighting a spark of overwhelming energy inside me. My heart is on the verge of collapsing.
Then his chest makes a savage noise, and in the next moment, I lose the warmth of his fingers on my wrist.
I open my eyes in time to watch Dominic taking a step back, horrified.
All the heat in me turns to ice. I swallow what little saliva I have left with great difficulty, ignoring the pain that wants to rip my chest open.
I nod, accepting the unspoken message, and head into his room with burning eyes and an uncontrollable urge to cry.
Luna
“Did you bring what I asked for?” I ask the girl who holds a bag firmly against her chest.
“Everything’s here, Lu,” Jasmine answers insecurely.
I offer a smile to help her feel more comfortable. “Is your house very far away?”
“Three blocks to the left …”
I put on my hood, covering my face completely, and follow her through the streets.
I didn’t get a chance to tell Dominic where I’m going. When I went into the living room this morning to tell him what I was going to do, he was already gone. And because of what happened last night, I was too embarrassed to be around him then. I hope to be back before he is.
After talking with Jasmine for a long time yesterday at the community center, I volunteered to help her. She’s my age but thinks very little of herself. When she told me she can’t read because she’s too stupid, I decided to do something useful while living with Dominic. Maybe it’ll be a way to reciprocate one good deed with another.
“I live here.” Jasmine points at a narrow corridor full of doors and stairs, similar to one of the apartments on those Mexican soap operas that Baba watches.
As we pass under some stairs, a group of young, don’t-mess-with-us-and-we-won’t-mess-with-you guys decide to be funny, throwing provocative phrases and insults our way.
“Are you gonna introduce us to your friend, Jas?” An intimidating brunet jumps in front of us.
“Get out of the way, Raid” she snaps, surprising me with her courage.
He doesn’t move, so she just pushes him to the side, seeming n
ot to fear the dangerous aura that surrounds him.
The boy raises his hands up mockingly, trying to see my face. I tighten my hood even more and lower my head. My heart beats faster. Fortunately, Jasmine pulls me by the hand and drags me to a little door at the end of the hall.
Closing the door, she turns toward me. “Sorry about that, Lu. I hate this place.” She looks at the floor, clearly embarrassed. “For now, it’s all I can afford.”
I lean over and touch her shoulder. “You don’t have to apologize, Jasmine. I don’t wanna get you in any trouble with those boys.”
She gestures awkwardly. “They’re just wannabe badasses.” She rolls her eyes, and then we both smile.
Suddenly, her demeanor changes as she stares at me seriously. “Thank you so much for doing this, Lu.” I notice her eyes withering. “Though I think you’re just wasting your time with me.”
“Why would I be wasting my time?” I can’t help showing my disdain at her low self-esteem before putting my hands on my hips and giving her a smile.
No effect. She still looks sad.
“My mother always told me I’m too stupid.” She shrugs. “I think she’s right.”
I swallow the painful knot in my throat, avoiding saying what’s on my mind about her mother. “She must be a fool,” I say instead.
A shy smile begins to appear. “That she is.”
After an hour of her reading, I begin to better understand her reading struggle. Jasmine knows each letter individually, but strung together, she can’t interpret them. I think Jasmine is dyslexic, and from all she told me, her mother didn’t do much to acknowledge this.
In college, to gain extra credit hours, I participated in a project with a group of dyslexic children. All the signs I saw with them are here. If I want to help her, I’ll have to research how.
I don’t tell her my suspicion, because I realize that our attempt has only served to further frustrate her. Instead, I patiently try to persuade her to continue learning every day, at least while I’m at Dominic’s house. And why not after that, too?
“You can’t be discouraged, Jasmine,” I say, collecting the books. “I had a hard time learning, too.” I lean my head closer to hers. “I still have a hard time,” I whisper the last part as if it were a secret.
Okay, she doesn’t need to know that isn’t true.
In her eyes, I see a slow glow, maybe something like hope. It touches my heart deeply. I have a good feeling about Jasmine, and I feel like we can be friends if she wants.
Sudden knocks on the door interrupt the moment. I see her jump at the sound, surprised. Her expressiomn appears distressed and dismayed.
“Stay here, Lu,” she whispers solemnly.
I watch her walk toward the door, her small, hunched body tense, her dark hair falling behind her like a waterfall. She gives me one last glance, telling me to stay where I am, then opens the door a crack, keeping the chain locked.
“Look, if it’s not one of my girls …” says a disagreeable male voice.
Jasmine clenches her fists. “What do you want, Dirty?” she asks dryly, a different voice from the softness she used seconds ago.
“Why didn’t you show up?” comes the thick, threatening voice from the other side of the crack.
“I’ve been busy,” she says, but even from a distance, I can sense her fear.
“The fuck you’ve been!” the guy roars. “Open this fucking door.”
She tightens her thin fingers on the wood. “I’m with someone,” she tells him in a warning tone, looking at me from the corner of her eye.
I put on my hood. To say that I’m trembling would be an understatement. Her fear has rubbed off on me.
“Are you serving without me knowing, Jasmine? Is this the fucking consideration you have for me?” His words are a mixture of scorn and threat. “I leave for a while, and you decide to keep me out of my own business?”
Jasmine tenses at the words she obviously didn’t want the man to say. “It’s not like that,” she appeals.
“Oh, it’s not?” he taunts. “Raid told me you went in here with a guy.”
A guy? Me? Well, I’m so skinny and Dominic’s jacket is so big, it’s not impossible for someone to think that.
“It’s just a friend, Dirty. Now, please, go away. I promise I’ll come to you later.” Her defeat goes unnoticed.
“I want you in the usual place, at the usual time, bitch.” This guy isn’t discreet. “Your cunt owes me a piece of money for working behind my back, and I’m back to recover the losses.”
With a weary sigh, she slams the door in his face. “The pimp from Hell,” is barely audible.
I observe her tense features and keep quiet.
“You gotta go, Lu.” Jasmine doesn’t even look me in the eye, the blush on her cheeks revealing her embarrassment. “I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”
I nod.
She turns for the door, and I follow behind her, taking her hand. “You don’t need to be ashamed of anything, Jasmine,” I feel the need to say.
She just looks at me from over her shoulder, broken.
Outside, the boys are gone. On the street, I struggle to keep up with her. When we finally get to Dominic’s building, I can tell she’s eager to leave. I can’t give up on her, though, just because she wants to give up on herself.
“Jasmine,” I say as she turns to leave. “Will you be here at the same time tomorrow, or should I go straight to your house?”
The pretty girl draws a deep breath. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea, Lu—”
“Okay, I’ll go straight there,” I say, not leaving any room for her refusal. Then I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and run up the stairs.
“Lu …” I hear her call from behind me, but I pretend not to hear, opening and closing the door quickly behind me.
My legs lock at the entrance of the room, at the sight of Dominic standing in the middle of the small space, looking straight at me with a mixture of relief and anger.
“Where were you, Luna?” His deceptively calm words caress my skin, arousing me.
Dominic
She’s back. I can’t believe it. Damn! I spent the last hour thinking she was gone, yet here she is, with flushed cheeks, messy hair, and her wide, blue eyes staring at me like a mouse caught red-handed with its cheese.
If she knew how upset I’d been at the idea of not seeing her again …
“Dominic?” she whispers in response.
“Yes, it’s me,” I say seriously. “Where were you?”
She shakes her head, looking at me with a confused, pale face. “I … I …” Then she stops and stares at me, looking at me from top to bottom.
My muscles are painfully tense and my fists are tight, too worked up to relax.
I arch an eyebrow, waiting.
She swallows hard, and I catch myself following the movement of her throat. Then, without delay, I see her become defiant. Not good.
“You shouldn’t look at me like that,” she reprimands cheekily. “I don’t have to tell you what I do, Dom.”
Yes, she’s becoming her defiant alter ego.
“It’s better if you do, Luna. I was worried about you, about your health, not knowing where you were, if you took your medicine—” I cut myself off, holding down my frustration. I was worried about her, but if I’m completely honest, I was afraid I had lost her.
She must see something on my face, because she loses her defiance and closes the distance between us. She stops in front of me, showing no fear.
“I forgot to tell you yesterday,” she whispers, probably remembering last night’s episode. “And this morning, you were already gone.”
I observe her freckled face, transparent and honest.
With a nod, I encourage her to continue.
“I went to Jasmine’s,” she explains.
Dammit! Is Luna going to move in with Jasmine? Does she not want to stay here after last night?
The idea breaks something deep inside m
e. I put so much pressure on my jaw that I’m about to break it.
“We’re having study lessons,” she says simply.
Wait. They what?
Realizing my confusion, Luna offers a quick explanation of their conversation yesterday and the visit to Jasmine’s to help her. I confess that I didn’t see that coming. Damn, this is amazing! In fact, Luna got to Jasmine in a way that I can’t even understand.
I picture where Jasmine lives, not liking that Luna was there. That area is full of drug traffickers and that shit, Dirty, is back on the streets.
“You can’t go back to her house,” I tell her, not wanting to sound rude. And I’m rewarded by angry Luna coming to the surface. Her nostrils flare lightly, which is irritatingly cute.
“Oh, can’t I?” Her cheeks are red with stubbornness.
I slide my hands through my hair, trying for patience. “You have to understand, Luna, that that place is dangerous.”
She folds her arms across her chest. “That’s where she lives, Dominic.”
“Do it somewhere else,” I suggest quietly.
“Where?” I don’t miss the challenge.
“Here.” I shrug. “Or at the community center. You can choose.”
Her gaze falls on me, appraising. “You would let me bring her to your house?”
I want to laugh at the beautiful expectation in her intense eyes.
I shrug one more time. “Why not?”
She wears the stunned look for a few more seconds before her gaze falls to my mouth. This, like last night, incites my most intense desire to claim her.
Damn, I can’t believe what Luna tried last night, her lips approaching mine, her eyes closed. It took all my willpower to contain myself. Luna doesn’t deserve me taking advantage of frailty. She isn’t thinking clearly, and it was only a weak moment.
