by K. L. Myers
I nod in agreement. I don’t like it, but he’s right. We can’t risk slipping up. Father can never know about us, not yet at least. “Do we even have to go at all? Maybe I can come up with an excuse to stay out here. I don’t know, maybe there is a problem with student housing or something.”
Angelo laughs at me. “Sorry, Principessa, it was a nice try, but that is the other reason we are here this weekend. A moving crew is packing up everything you have and will set it up in a condo just off campus. A two-bedroom condo off campus.” He emphasizes the word ‘two-bedroom.’
“What the hell, Angelo?” I pull back away from him, tossing the blanket off my shoulders. “Was that your idea?”
“No, Principessa, your father’s. He felt it would be safer for you if you had a place of your own that could be modified to provide extra security for you. After the Dymtro Balagula incident, he isn’t willing to risk your safety any more than necessary.”
My toes dig into the sand, flexing back and forth as I count to ten trying to calm myself down. “When, Ang? When will he let me be my own person? When can I start making my own decisions about what I want to do?” I shake my head and let the tears roll down my cheeks. “I’ll never be able to be my own person, will I, Ang?”
Chapter 8
ANGELO
For four months, I’ve been waking up to the sight of heaven on earth sleeping peacefully beside me. Only today, I wake to the sound of Lillian crying. Her sobs are muffled by the fact that she sought refuge in the bathroom attached to the second bedroom in the condo. A room that is never used and only kept up for the sake of appearances. I saunter quietly toward her until I reach the doorway to the bedroom and stop when I hear her talking to someone.
“I can’t tell him, Ashlynn. I just can’t.”
Various thoughts run through my mind as I wonder what it could be that she doesn’t feel she can tell me. Maybe it’s not me; maybe it’s her dad she doesn’t want to say something to. I move further into the room and then stand in the opening to the bathroom. Lillian’s face turns in my direction. Surprise and fright mar her beautiful face.
“Gotta go, Ashlynn. I’ll call you later.”
Lillian quickly disconnects the phone, setting it on the floor next to her. “How long have you been standing there?” she asks while using the back of her hand to wipe away the remnants of tears on her face.
I quickly kneel in front of her, placing one hand on the side of her face. “Not long, Principessa. Please tell me why you are crying.”
Lillian flings herself at me, and I catch her in my arms, holding her tight while she cries into my chest. “I’m positive I’m pregnant, Ang. I haven’t had a period for a while. With finals and then heading to New york to visit, I just never noticed.
I feel my blood run cold. Could she really have gotten pregnant during our very first night all those months ago? Yes, I know it could be possible even though I pulled out, but she’s shown no signs of morning sickness or just plain sickness. “Lillian, have you taken a pregnancy test yet?” She nods her head up and down, acknowledging that she has done that. “And the results are positive?” I have to ask even though the way she is reacting gives every indication that it was.
“It said I wasn’t, Ang, but how can that be? I haven’t had a period at all, and I’ve felt very emotional and moody lately. I just know I’m pregnant, Ang. I can feel it in my gut.”
Seven years ago, I vowed to protect her from anything, even her father. If she is pregnant with my child, I’ll do right by her. I’ll be the one to tell her father and face the consequences of our actions. “Before you worry too much more, Lillian, call and get an appointment. Contact a private physician off campus, and I’ll pay for the visit. DO NOT use your insurance or your credit cards. No sense alerting anyone until we know for sure. Then, if the outcome is what you suspect, I’ll be the one to tell everyone. Like I’ve told you over and over again, Principessa, I’ll protect you with my life. Mine for yours forever.”
My gut spins out of control later that afternoon when my phone rings and the caller ID reads VICCI. Could he have heard already? Did Ashlynn betray Lillian’s confidence? I can’t imagine she would; those two are thick as thieves and closer than sisters. I swipe the phone and answer, “Mr. Vicci, what can I do for you, sir?” and cross my fingers that this unexpected call has nothing to do with Lillian.
“Angelo, my boy, I’m sorry to be making this call, but I need you home immediately.” My spine goes rigid at his statement. Something must be seriously wrong for him to request my presence.
“Mr. Vicci, am I to bring Lillian with me?”
“No, my boy, no reason to disrupt her life. I’ve already reached out to Lazana. His men will watch out for her while you are away.”
I don’t like the idea that another man will be in our home alone with her. “Mr. Vicci, sir, who will be staying with her, may I ask? I want to be sure she is safe. I haven’t left her side since I took this assignment when you asked me seven years ago.”
“No one, Angelo. I’ve given strict instructions that no one is to disrupt her daily schedule. They are to observe, protect, and report. Having someone she doesn’t know take over in her life will not bode well with her. Though I don’t like her being left alone. I will send a plane for you first thing tomorrow. I’ll see you tomorrow night, son.”
I disconnect the phone and go in search of Lillian. I didn’t expect to find her sitting on the balcony, but that is where I find her, textbook in hand. “Principessa, we need to see if we can find a doctor who will see you first thing tomorrow. I’ve got to go back to New York, and I want us to have this all sorted out before I leave.”
Lillian closes her textbook and stands. “Is everything alright, Ang? Why are you going to New York?”
“I don’t know, Lillian. Your father has requested my presence, and by the sound of his voice, it seems very important. Some of Lazana’s men will be watching over you.” I can tell immediately that she is not happy when I mention Lazana. “Don’t worry, Principessa. They will not be staying with you, only watching out for you.”
Lillian was able to secure an appointment for ten this morning. Though she isn’t pregnant, the news was equally devastating. As I board the plane, my stomach does somersaults. I don’t want to have to leave Lillian alone now that we have an idea of what could possibly be wrong with her. I know she needs me, but I have no choice. Her father demands my presence, and there is no arguing with Francesco Vicci, especially when I would have to disclose the news of Lillian’s doctor's appointment if I wanted to stay, and Lillian made me promise that I would not share anything about this morning’s appointment. She is adamant about being the one to share the news when the time is right.
Chapter 9
LILLIAN
I was so sure the results of the test were going to confirm I was pregnant. I was so not prepared to find out that I have Premature Ovarian Failure, or at least that’s what my symptoms indicate. The physician took a sample of my blood to check my FSH and Estradiol levels. The results will be back later this week, but he was pretty sure that POF will be the diagnosis. Learning that you will probably never conceive a child is not something you want to do when the man you love is headed east to see your father, leaving you alone to stew in the fact that you’ll never be a mother.
When Angelo left, I was still sitting on the couch bawling. I could see it was tearing him apart to leave me alone, but Father called, and when Father calls, everyone in hearing range jumps to his attention.
It isn’t long after that I finally suck it up and call Ashlynn. “That’s it.” Her voice is stern. “I’m coming to see you, and I don’t care what anyone says. I’m staying for as long as you want me to.” Though I want to be alone, the knowledge that my best friend will be visiting very soon starts the healing process and settles my somewhat broken heart. It isn’t too long after I hang up with Ashlynn that Angelo calls to check in on me. He just landed at JFK and is on the way to my father. Word spread fast t
hat Ashlynn is coming to visit, fast enough that Angelo also feels relieved that I won’t be alone.
“Don’t you leave the house, Principessa. I’ve already arranged for a car to meet Ashlynn and drive her to you. I don’t know these men watching over you as well as I would have liked to before I left, so I’d prefer that you spend as little time in public as possible.”
I want to scream at Ang to stop being so overprotective, but I, too, realize that this is the first time we’ve ever been separated since I turned twelve. To think that I once thought I hated him all those years ago and wanted to be rid of him. Now, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be without him.
“Jesus Christ,” Ashlynn calls out to me, her voice wheezing as she coughs. “You run this every morning?”
I spin around, jogging in place, waiting for her to catch up. “Yep, three and a half miles. See that radar dish up there?” I point to the top of the hill. “That’s the end goal. From there, you’ll be able to see as far as San Francisco, San Jose, and the East Bay since it’s a clear day. Trust me, it’s worth the exercise.”
Huffing and puffing, Ashlynn finally catches up to me. “Hey, what’s that dish for anyway?”
“It’s a way for the government to communicate with satellites and spacecraft. So, be careful what you say; they may just hear you.” I’m laughing at her, of course, because there is no way anyone can hear what she’s saying, but I love fucking with her. “If you don’t get arrested, maybe later this week, I’ll sneak us out to Half Moon Bay, and you can check out all the surfers. Who knows, maybe you’ll find some hottie to hook up with!” I yell as I dash ahead once again.
This is usually a run that Ang and I take together. My heart feels a little bit heavier knowing that I have no idea when he’ll return. There are several runners behind me who look out of place. I’m sure they are Lazana’s men. For the most part, they’ve stayed pretty well hidden, but on a path full of tourists and locals, they stand out, at least to me they do.
Last night, when Angelo called to check in on me, I asked what was going on and when he’d be back. But I got no answers from him other than “Family business” and “I’m not sure when I’ll be able to return.” Something in his voice was different and distant, leaving an uneasy feeling in my heart.
Chapter 10
ANGELO
I thought the worst news I could have ever gotten was to hear that Lillian could possibly never have children. I was wrong. The worst news I could have ever received was from my father. The minute the plane landed at JFK, Mr. Vicci and my father greeted me on the tarmac.
“Son,” my father said, “the Grandanettis have your mother and sister. Tonight, we strike back, bring your mother and sister home and end the life of every member of their family.”
Christ, my mother and sister being held hostage was never anything I ever expected to hear. God was punishing me for my actions. Taking Lillian’s virginity and even daring to dream that I could have a life with her as something other than her bodyguard has cursed her and my family. This is my punishment for being a selfish man.
Killing doesn’t bother me. I feel nothing when I kill. It doesn’t haunt me, the thought of taking a life, because I know those lives belong to men equally as evil as I am. There is no honor in what I do. Lillian once called me her Jekyll and Hyde. She knew what I did for the family, but she saw the real me underneath it all. That’s the selfish me who thought I could have everything. I can’t change yesterday, but I can change tomorrow, and that is why I can’t go back to her. I can’t sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed, and smell her sweet smell, feel her warm body next to mine, and stay sane.
No, when this is all over, and my mom and sister are safe, I’ll agree to go back and protect Lillian, but only from afar. My penance will be to give up the only thing I truly love.
It’s two a.m., and the streets of Brooklyn are quiet, except for the unsavory gangster or two looking for trouble. I didn’t expect to come across the Grandanetti brothers stopped at a red light, but I do, and it is an opportunity I can’t pass up. Beside me is my old sawed-off double barrel shotgun and a perfect opportunity. I pull up next to them at the light, gun already perched on my arm for leverage. The moment they turn to see who pulled up beside them, they know they are dead. I see it in their eyes as I pull the trigger. Two bullets, two heads. I wasn’t expecting that bullet to take Marcus Grandanetti’s head off, but it did, clean off his shoulders, and the second landed right between Tony’s eyebrows. The light turns green, and away I drive, no one the wiser on the streets, but the family will know a message was sent. The only problem now is getting to my family before they have the chance to retaliate. By the time I am done tonight, the only one standing will be Alberto Grandanetti. I’ll leave him for my father to kill. That vengeance will be his as retribution for taking his wife and daughter.
As I pull into the Capricorn Lounge, I know I’ll find Gianni, Alberto’s second in command, there with a few of his guys. Just a little sodium cyanide will end them all at once. Ivy is waiting out back for me; she owns this joint, and I hate getting her involved in this, but she is my sister’s best friend and loyal to our family. I hand her a tiny vial. “How many are in there with Gianni?” My eyes are glancing around to ensure no prying eyes will spot us together. My jaw twitches while I wait for her response.
“Just Gianni and Cosimo.” Her reply is quick.
“Good. Take this vial. DO NOT”—I emphasize the words—“get this on your skin, do you hear me?” Ivy’s head nods in acknowledgment. “Pour half into two drinks. When you get to their table, I want you to accidentally spill them. Be sure both men are covered with the contents. Apologize for your clumsiness and get them bar towels, but DO NOT touch any liquid or the glasses. Do you understand me, Ivy?” I want to be sure she understands the seriousness of what I am telling her. “Anyone who comes in contact with this liquid will die, Ivy. This is sodium cyanide; it will soak through their clothes and into their pores. They’ll be dead in minutes. I’ll take care of the rest.”
"For the family, to benefit the family,” she says as she presses her fist to her chest several times.
I acknowledge her statement, kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll send a cleanup crew. They’ll be here in fifteen. I’ll be expecting to hear from you once it’s done.”
When I arrive at the Grandanetti warehouse, my father and his men have already had several Grandanetti grunts tied to chairs. My mother and sister are being ushered through the back door and out to safety. Reaching behind me, I pull both guns from behind my back and walk over to two of the men. “Brotherhood above God and family, you chose the wrong family,” I say as I place the barrel of each gun under their chins and pull the trigger.
“Alberto is yours, Dad. He’ll be home. I’d stake my life on it.” My dad acknowledges what I’ve told him. “Do you want me to handle it, or do you want the honors, Dad?”
“I’ve got this, son. Head home and make sure your mom and sister are okay. They didn’t appear to be harmed, but I want Luca to make sure they are healthy. I’ll see you there later.”
It isn’t long after I’ve gone home that Mr. Vicci is summoning me to appear before him. When I walk through the door, he stands, pointing for me to take a seat opposite him.
“Angelo, I like the way you handled yourself. Fast, lethal, loyal. Now, I need you back in California quickly.”
I sit straight up, my back rigid. I need to stand my ground this time if I want things to work the way I need them to. “Mr. Vicci, sir, I know it has only been a few days that Lillian has been alone, but what I’ve come to learn over the last year or so is that Lillian is a strong woman. She needs her independence.” I hold up my hand as Mr. Vicci tries to interrupt me. “I’m not saying I don’t want to watch over her, but I’d like to do it without her knowing. Let her have some freedom, or at least think she has freedom. You know her as well as I do. She will fight you if you don’t let her be her own woman. She doesn’t need to know I
’m there. Tell her things require me to be back here in New York. I can easily protect her without having to be by her side twenty-four seven. I’ve proven myself tonight, haven’t I?”
“You have, son. I’m not sure I like this idea, but you are correct; she is stubborn. I will try it your way, but if something goes wrong…”
Before he can finish, I add, “I’ll pay with my life and my family’s. Yes, I understand.”
As I walk out of Mr. Vicci’s office, I shoot off a text to Lillian.
Me: I’m not coming back, Principessa. This cannot work between us. I’m setting you free. Do not contact me again for your own safety.
Four weeks after that first text, Lillian tries to call me. She sends me numerous texts, but I refuse them all and don’t reply. I watch as she cries for days, my heart breaking. It kills me not to go to her and hold her, tell her I was an idiot, and beg for forgiveness. But once again, God warns me of what will happen if I even attempt to follow through. His warning comes in the form of a stalker outside her home one evening. I’ve watched him for weeks; he followed her to and from school. Made notes of her every move. But what he didn’t know was that I, too, was following her and watching him. I wait patiently until he tries to make his move and break into her home. Before he has the opportunity, my blade is slicing across his throat. I toss him in a dumpster not too far away from where she lives.
