by Marie Force
“Such a tragedy. You just wonder how people survive this stuff. I look at Noah and think I’d die if anything happened to him.”
“I know that feeling, but the human spirit is resilient. Somehow, we survive things we think will break us. I know it’s nowhere near the same thing as losing a child, but a few weeks ago, I couldn’t imagine life without my dad. And here I am, breathing and functioning and living without him. Life goes on even when you’re sure it won’t.”
“I guess so. Your grief group starts tonight, right?”
“It does.”
“That’s a really incredible thing you’re doing. It’ll help a lot of people.”
“I hope so.”
“Do you mind if I keep the Worthington files to take a closer look?”
“Not at all. I’m knee-deep in the McLeod case, but I was planning to revisit Worthington after I close this one. I got the okay from the brass to devote some time to it.”
“I’ll get the files back to you tomorrow. Talk to me about Ramsey. His name has come up a few times during our investigation.”
“Is that right?” Sam asked, smirking. “He’s another of my BFFs within the department.”
“What’s his beef with you?”
“Good question. If I had to guess, it would be something like I’m female, younger than him, I have fewer years on the job and outrank him. And that would be solely because of who my father was and the fact that the chief was my uncle Joe growing up. There could be no other reason for me lapping him.”
Avery rolled his eyes. “The fact that you excel at your job has no bearing on it.”
“None at all.”
“He’s jealous.”
“Maybe, but he’s also dangerous. I think he’s trying to railroad Gonzo out of spite toward me.” She filled him in on the details of what Gonzo had done and her suspicions of how it had come to light.
“Wow.”
“There’s a meeting tomorrow at which everyone who matters in this department will beg Gonzales not to take that deal. If he does, his career will be all but over. He needs to remind people why he ended up with an addiction to pain meds.”
“Absolutely. What happened to Arnold—and to him by extension—was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced as an LEO. I can’t imagine what it was like for him.”
“It was a nightmare. Arnold drove him crazy with his earnestness, eagerness and overall puppylike demeanor. He was the sweetest kid, and Gonzo was good with him, but half the time he wanted to gag him. He was aggravated with him that night and told him he’d let him take the lead if he’d just shut up. That’s the part that stays with Tommy now. He believes he put him in front of that gun.”
“He gave Arnold exactly what he wanted.”
“You and I know that, but you can’t tell him that. To him, he set his partner up to be murdered.”
“It’s an awful thing to live with.”
“It is, and who can blame him for doing whatever it took to survive it? Most people around here empathize with him, but not Ramsey. He’s out to ruin Gonzo’s career in some sort of misguided attempt to exact revenge on me. It’s all so screwed up.”
“I heard the reason he threatened you most recently is because someone uncovered signs of a possible extramarital affair.”
“Is that right?”
“Uh-huh.” He gave her a probing look. “You know anything about that?”
Sam made an effort to keep her expression neutral. “Not a thing.”
“He must have other enemies within the department.”
“That wouldn’t surprise me. When you act like a jackass ninety percent of the time, that comes back around on you.”
“True. What about Conklin? Was there ever anything to indicate he wasn’t a good cop?”
“Only the thing when retired Captain Wallack went missing, and his wife told Conklin, who kept it to himself for two weeks, during which Wallack’s stepson forced him to shoot innocent people.”
“Did he say why he didn’t tell anyone?”
“Because he thought Wallack, who’s a recovering alcoholic, might’ve relapsed. He said he was trying to protect Wallack’s reputation. Conklin is in recovery too. My dad was actually the one who dried him out and saved his career when things got out of control for him back in the day. Ironic, huh?”
“It’s obscene,” Avery said with a forcefulness that Sam appreciated. Good cops were appalled that Conklin had held on to secrets related to her dad’s shooting for four years. And Avery was a good cop, even if he was a Fed. “So when he didn’t report Wallack’s disappearance, was that the first time you knew him to do anything that wasn’t by the book?”
She nodded. “You’d have to ask the chief and Malone and people who go further back with him than I do, but I think it was the first time anyone ever questioned whether he was legit. I remember being shocked when I found out what he’d done and feeling sick that I had to report it. Finding out another officer has done something questionable is the worst feeling, especially when he’s the deputy chief and a longtime friend of your father’s. At least I thought he was. I’ve since found out otherwise.”
“Have you had to report colleagues other times?”
“Here and there. Most recently when one of the department’s sharpshooters, Sergeant Dylan Offenbach, was off the grid during the sniper shootings, and our investigation uncovered that he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Rather than attending the conference he’d checked out for, he was off cheating on his wife, with whom he has five children and a sixth on the way. He accused me of ruining his life, but if you ask me, he did that all on his own. I heard he got busted down to Patrol, and he blames me for everything.”
“You’re just Miss Congeniality around here, aren’t you?”
Sam laughed at the title. “So it seems. The thing is, when I first started on the job, my dad gave me the most important advice I’ve ever gotten about how to do it right. He said if you find out something your superior officers need to know, you report it to them immediately. You don’t delay even to take a leak. You report it. I’ve always lived by that rule, even when it caused me heartburn with my colleagues. I’m not the one doing something I shouldn’t be doing.”
“And they know that. They just need someone to blame.”
“Whatever,” Sam said with a shrug. “The fact I’m a woman calling them out, not to mention the daughter of a martyred hero and the ‘niece’ of the chief, doesn’t help.”
“Not an easy spot to be in.”
“Nope, but when you try to do the right thing most of the time, you sleep pretty well at night. That’s not to say I haven’t screwed up, because I have. Show me someone who hasn’t, but I try to do the right thing, and that irritates people around here sometimes.”
“I see the same thing in our agency. People do stupid things and then can’t believe when they get caught and disciplined. That never sits well, but I just want to say to them if you hadn’t done what you did in the first place, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Exactly. Trust me when I tell you I take zero pleasure in catching a fellow officer doing something shady. Even Ramsey or Stahl or someone I can’t stand, because it makes us all look bad when one of us is bad.”
“That’s a fact. This has been really helpful. Thank you for taking the time.”
“Can I ask you what the expected outcome of this investigation might look like?”
“I’m honestly not sure yet. I’m seeing some patterns here and there, but right now, we’re mostly just talking to people.”
“Does that include people like Stahl, Ramsey, Hernandez, Offenbach and Conklin?”
“It may. I’d like to get their perspectives just for my own edification. I’d like to hear their justifications, if nothing else.”
“Conklin would tell you he was protecting his wife. City Councilman Gallagher and the others involved in the gambling ring had threatened her if he didn’t stay in line.”
“I can
see that as a valid concern, but if you don’t have anything to hide in the first place, then no one can threaten you with it.”
“Right. That was another of my father’s pearls of wisdom—don’t give them anything to use against you.”
“Have you ever thought about writing a book about being a high-profile female legacy Homicide detective?”
“Uh, well, no, not exactly. Reading and writing with dyslexia isn’t something I do for a hobby.”
“You ought to think about it. You could dictate it to someone else, the poor bastard, and have them type it up.”
“Haha, I could make Freddie do that.”
“I think it would be very interesting reading, and with your platform as the second lady, it’d probably be a huge bestseller.”
“Just what I want—more public attention than I already get.”
Avery smiled. “I’d read it. And I’m totally serious. I think your story would make for an amazing book.”
“I’m flattered you think so.” Sam took a surreptitious glance at the clock. She had ninety minutes until she had to pick up Roni. “Are we done for now?”
“We are. Thanks again.”
“I’m going to run home and see my kids before the meeting tonight. See you later.”
“Have a nice visit with the kids, and good luck with the meeting tonight.”
“Thanks.” Sam was almost relieved to find the pit empty when she emerged from the conference room. She ought to care where everyone was or if anyone was still working, but right now, she just wanted to see her kids before she had to be back. In her office, she went to grab her keys and remembered that Freddie had her car. “Damn it.”
As much as she hated to admit it, the Secret Service was about to come in handy.
Chapter Twenty-Five
At home, Sam jumped out of the SUV before Jimmy could get the door, earning her an annoyed glare from the agent.
“Is my little girl making friends again?” Nick asked from where he stood in the doorway with Nate.
“Always.” She loved the weight of Nick’s arm around her shoulders as he escorted her into the house. “
“I can’t believe you actually let them drive you home.”
“Freddie had my car. They were handy.”
“Ah, I see. What’re you doing home so early? I thought you had your grief group tonight.”
“I do, but I saw a chance to escape for a minute and took it.”
Shelby came into the kitchen, her son, Noah, on her hip, stopping short when she saw Sam there. “Mom’s home early.”
“It’s temporary,” Sam said. “Gotta go back in a bit. Where is everyone?”
“The twins are upstairs getting changed to go to the park, and Scotty’s at basketball practice. I texted to see if he wants to go with us to the park when he gets home.”
“Can we go?” Sam asked Nick.
“Sure. Let me just tell Brant.”
While he went to do that, Sam said to Shelby, “Why don’t you and Noah cut out early too? We can do the park run.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind doing it.”
“I’d really like to, if that’s okay. I feel like they don’t get enough of me.”
“Yes, they do, Sam. They love you so much, and they know you’re working.”
“Still, I wish it could be more.”
“It’s enough. They’re doing great. All three of them.”
“I’m glad you think so. Go take some time with your own family. I just saw your husband. He’s probably home by now.”
“In that case, this old preggo lady will take you up on that.”
“I want to be you when I’m ‘old.’” Sam gave Shelby a hug and kissed Noah’s cheek. “Thanks for all you do around here to make it all happen. We’d be lost without you, but I don’t want you doing too much while you’re pregnant. You have to let us know if you need relief or time off or anything.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I love every minute with the kids. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Have a nice evening.”
Shelby’s pregnancy struck Sam with a pang for the first time in a long time. Her sister Angela was expecting her third, Tracy had three, Shelby was having her second… And Sam couldn’t have any. Sometimes, life was unfair, but in the grand scheme of things, she refused to look at her glass as anything other than half full. Her life had been extraordinarily blessed, especially since Scotty and the twins had joined their family.
Speaking of one of her greatest blessings… Nick returned to the kitchen, seeming surprised to see her there alone. “Where’s Shelby?”
“I gave her the rest of the day off, which I just realized might not have been the best idea I ever had if you’re going to need her later.”
“Nope. I’m free for the evening, so no worries.”
“Oh good. I wanted to take the kids to the park ourselves. Well, with numerous Secret Service agents, that is.”
“I get what you mean.”
The kitchen door burst open, and two adorable soon-to-be six-year-olds came rushing in, excited to go to the park.
Aubrey let out a happy squeal when she saw Sam, who scooped her up into a tight hug.
“How’s my baby girl?” she asked, using the nickname Sam’s dad had given her when she was littler than Aubrey was now.
“Good. Do we have to wear coats to the park?”
“Yep, and hats.”
“I hate hats,” Alden said.
Nick plopped a hat on Alden’s head and held his coat for him. “They keep your head warm.”
“Are they gonna let us walk?” Sam asked.
“I think so. I requested that.”
She fired off a quick text to Celia to invite her stepmother to come along on the outing. “How far out is Scotty?”
“Two minutes,” Nick said. “I told him we’d wait.”
While two excited Littles bounced off the walls, waiting for Scotty to get home, Sam ushered them outside and down the ramp toward Celia’s home. Her heart still ached every time she looked at the ramp that led to the front door of her father’s house. She was coming to accept that the ache would never go away.
Celia came out, wrapping a scarf around her neck and pulling on gloves.
“Celia, you forgot your hat,” Aubrey said.
“So I did. Be right back.” Celia went back inside to get her hat and then joined them on the sidewalk in time to see Scotty’s Secret Service detail arrive.
The twins were so excited to see Scotty that Sam could barely hold them still until he emerged from the back of one of the big SUVs. Only when he was ready for them did Sam release their hands.
He caught them up with an arm around each of them, carrying them like sacks of potatoes. “Anyone looking for some little kids?” he asked Sam and Celia.
“They’re all yours, champ,” Nick said when he joined them. “Let’s go burn off some energy.”
The agents kept a respectful distance in front and behind them as they walked the three blocks to the playground that the little ones loved. When they were within sight of the park, the three kids took off running toward the swing set and other equipment. Everything came to a halt when the other parents realized who was joining them.
Sam kept her eyes on the kids while hoping no one would talk to them.
“Ugh,” Celia said. “Look away, people. Nothing to see here.”
“Right?” Sam said. “The staring is so annoying.”
The agents fanned out around the perimeter, making a bubble of sorts around their family. Sam ignored them and everyone else and focused on the kids, pushing Aubrey and Alden on the swings and riding the seesaw with Scotty until the Littles wanted to join them.
Sam wrapped an arm around Aubrey, Scotty took Alden, and Nick took pictures with his phone while Celia called out encouragement. Just another family out for some late afternoon fun, or so she told herself. With Secret Service agents all around, she could never slip completely into the fantasy that they
were just like everyone else.
“How can you not run?” a middle-aged man called to Nick. “You owe it to the country to run.”
“Sorry, but I’m with my family right now.”
“I pay your salary. You can talk to me for one minute.”
“Not now I can’t.”
When the man took a step closer, Brant was there to discourage him. “Back off. Now.”
“Or what?” the guy asked. “You fucking politicians are so full of yourselves.”
“Dear God,” Celia muttered.
“You don’t need to talk like that with kids present,” Nick said.
“Don’t act like you care about kids if you’re running away from your obligations to everyone’s kids.”
Leaving the belligerent man to the Secret Service to deal with, Nick turned his back on him and returned his focus to his own family. “Sorry about that,” he said to Sam.
“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything.”
“Apparently, I’ve disappointed a lot of people.”
And he hated that. She could see that as clearly as she saw his handsome face and sinfully sexy lips. “You don’t owe them anything, Nick. Tell me you know that.”
“I do, but it’s hard to realize I’ve let people down. I had no idea they were so… invested.”
“You didn’t?” she said with a laugh. “Really?”
“Not like that.” He gestured to the man who was receiving a talking-to from Brant and Nate.
She hated seeing him dejected.
“Did I do the wrong thing, Samantha?”
“No. You made the best decision for yourself and our family, and you can’t start second-guessing because people are disappointed. Someone else will run, and it’ll all be fine.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“When have you ever known me not to be?”
He laughed, kissed the top of her head and went to supervise the twins, who were climbing the rock wall.
“Don’t let them go any higher,” Sam said.
“They go to the top all the time, Mom,” Scotty said.
