by Kelly Moore
She sits beside me. “We should give them time by themselves to do this. What else do you want to do while we’re here?” She lays her head on my shoulder.
“I know for a fact that there are bikes in the barn out back. I say in the morning, we ride through the countryside into town. You’ll love the views. It’s stunning.”
“We have to tour a castle while we’re here.”
“I know the perfect one. We’ll ride right by it, and then we can go to the edge of town so I can play darts with Logan.”
“Is this the last video from Silas?”
“I hope not.”
“You know they have to end at some point.”
“I know, but I don’t want to think about it.”
Chapter Six
“This is amazing. Look at all the fine details built into this castle.” Charlie is shading her eyes and looking at the outside walls of the castle. “You know, if the owner of this castle is single and wearing a kilt, I’m getting divorced.” She takes my arm, and we walk through the massive wooden doors that lead into the castle. “This place is extraordinary.” She runs her hands down the ornate concrete columns. Next, she admires the old artwork framed in gold. There are several lining the hallway.
“You’re awfully quiet.” She grabs my hand.
“I have to show you something. Follow me.” We leave the tour group when the guide is telling the history of a bronze statue of a woman holding a small child’s hand.
“Where are we going?” We duck under the red velvet rope blocking a room. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be doing this.”
“Just hush and keep up.” We walk through what used to be a grand ballroom to the back of the castle. We step outside to an area built hundreds of years ago where weddings were performed. The thick chunks of concrete cracked over time, and they restored them the same year Silas and I met.
I stop when I get to the corner of the slab that has parts of the old concrete wall that surrounded the back area piled up.
I move one concrete piece and point. “Look.”
“Is that you and Silas?”
“He carved our initials here the night he proposed to me. I’m so glad it’s still here.”
“Wait, this is where he proposed to you?”
“The first time.”
“What do you mean the first time? You’ve never told me any of this. Spill it, missy.” Her hands fly to her hips.
“He proposed, I said yes, and we broke up before we made it back to his house.”
“Oh no you don’t. I want details.”
“He asked me on a whim. This place was so romantic it was infectious. We hadn’t known each other very long at the time. God, I remember that kiss.” I touch my lips, and I swear I can still feel it. “He was being sent to his next job, which was an adventure tour to Africa. I was done with my semester and headed back to the States. Neither one of us wanted to give up on our dreams. So, we ended it.”
“But you didn’t, right?”
“No, we did.” I touch the carving of our initials. “I flew home utterly heartbroken, and he went off to Africa.”
“How did you end up together?”
“Six months later he knocked on my door, and the rest is history.”
“He gave up his life for you? How romantic.”
“We found a compromise that neither one of us ever regretted.”
“Ladies, you do not belong out here!” A security guard is walking toward us.
“I’m sorry. We got lost looking for the bathroom,” Charlie says and giggles.
“I can assure you there’s no restroom out here on the lawn.” He directs us with his hand to follow him.
We join the tour again, and I enjoy watching Charlie take it all in. “That was so awesome. Thanks for taking me here.” She climbs on her bike, and we head to the bar to meet up with Logan.
“This place is a real dive,” Charlie says, looking at the siding falling off the side of the small house.
“Yeah, but it has the best food in town.” I swing open the door, and it creaks so loudly I think it’s going to fall off its hinges. The decor on the inside reminds me of a Scottish bar back home except this one is authentic, right along with the music playing.
“Olivia McDill, as I live and breathe. I was a wondering when ye’d show up.” Logan throws a bar mop towel over his shoulder and lifts a panel in the countertop to walk toward me.
“It’s so good to see you.” He hugs me. “This is my friend Charlie.”
“Nice to meet you, lassie.”
She sticks out her hand, and he grabs her to him. “Oh, okay.” She laughs and pats her hands on his back.
“It’s always nice to have pretty young lassies come in the bar instead of always looking at the likes of the mugs that hang out here.”
“Looks like we came at a good time.” There is one glassy-eyed man sitting at the end of the bar sipping on a beer, and two men sitting at a booth, scarfing down hamburgers.
Logan walks back behind the bar and fills two glasses from the tap. “I was so sorry to hear about our boy. You know I got a letter from him telling me to expect a visit from you.” He pushes the drinks toward us and takes a yellow envelope out from under the bar. “He said this was for you.”
I put my hand on it, and he snatches is away. “He said you would try that.” He grins. “You can’t have it, not before ye play me a game darts.”
“What else did he say?” I take a drink of the beer.
“He said to keep a good eye on ye ’cause ye like to cheat.”
“Busted.” Charlie laughs and chugs down her beer. “Hey, didn’t Silas mention to order the ginger beer here?” She slams her glass on the bar.
“I don’t think you lassies could handle that.” He smiles and takes the glass.
“Well, if you’re going to hold me to playing darts with you, then I’m going to insist on that ginger beer.”
“Me too.” Charlie crosses her arms over her chest.
“You two drive a hard bargain, but don’t say Ah didn’t warn ye.” He chuckles and pops the lid on a can of soda and mixes it with a beer.
“Here ye go.” He slides them to us.
“Cheers to Silas.” Charlie and I clink our glasses together.
“Mmmm, these are good,” she says and licks her lips. “We’ll have to have another round.”
“Ye will have to have a ride home.” Logan comes back around to our side of the bar and picks up some red and black darts. “I held up my end. Now it’s yer turn.”
He hands me the set of red darts. “Who usually won at this, you or Silas?” I aim at the board.
“Silas won last, and I challenged him to a rematch. That’s why you’re here, lassie.”
I throw the first one and totally miss the board.
“Let me have that.” Charlie yanks one from my hand. She lines it up and throws it right in the middle. “Bull’s-eye!” she yells and throws her arms in the air.
“Where did you learn to throw darts?” I high-five her.
“On boys’ night out.”
“What? No. You didn’t let poor Noah go without you?”
“For a couple hours, and then my mom would come over and watch the kids so I could go hang out with him. Trust me. He never minded because all those sweaty boys hanging out got me all horny.”
“Charlie!” I glare at her and cut my eyes to Logan.
“What? You can’t tell me that the wives or the girlfriends don’t show up here on boys’ night out and how much they like it.” She bumps her shoulder to Logan’s.
“Why do ye think they called it boys’ night?” He winks at Charlie.
“Because them boys were getting some.” Charlie howls in laughter.
“You two need to go in time-out.” I snicker.
“I like her.” Logan wraps an arm around her shoulder. “How about ye let her substitute in for ye in throwing those darts.”
I grab my ginger beer and sit on a bar stool. “As long as
you keep pouring these, I’ll sit and watch.”
As they play, I recall my time here with Silas. He told me how he and Logan became friends. Logan had a son a little older than Silas, and they were best friends. The two of them worked on Silas’s dad’s farm in the summers when school was out. Silas said there wasn’t anything Scotty couldn’t fix or drive, and he dreamed of flying airplanes. As soon as he was old enough, he enlisted in the military and became a pilot. There was a malfunction in one of the engines, and he crashed and never made it home. I think Logan and Silas needed each other and bonded over darts. Remembering that night, I get up and sit in the same booth we ended up making out in. I slide into it and close my eyes. I can see him. He’s laughing as he pushes my skirt up under the table. His fingertips trail up my leg and brush my panties to the side. Silas said my face turned bright red when Logan placed our food in front of us and sat in the booth across from us. Silas never missed a beat as he continued to toy with me. I pushed his hand away, and he put it right back.
Logan was telling us some story, but I never heard his words. I was so lost in the sensation of Silas’s hand movement. I was thankful when a bar patron called for Logan to fix him another drink. All Silas could do was laugh knowing what he had done to me.
Charlie and Logan plop down in the booth, breaking my thoughts. “Tell Silas I won for him.” Charlie giggles.
“It still counts, right?” I say, holding out my hand for the envelope Logan has in front of him.
“I should say no since she beat me, but it wouldn’t have been as much fun playing with someone who couldn’t hit the board.” He grins and runs his hand over his thick mustache.
I take the envelope in both hands and hug it to my body, wanting to feel Silas next to me.
“Let me close up the bar, and I’ll take ye girls home.”
“We rode bikes,” I say.
“No problem. I’ll throw them in the back of ma truck. Silas would never forgive me if something happened to ye girls.” He slaps the palm of his hand on the table.
I’m not going to fight him; I really want to get back and watch the video.
“How about I fix you lassies one more drink, and we can toast Silas?” He slides out to the booth and goes behind the bar.
“This was fun,” Charlie says and reaches across the table to take my hand. “You okay?”
“Yeah, but I’m kinda sad thinking I’ll never come back here again.”
“Are you kidding me? We have to come back. Noah would love this place and Logan. Let’s make it an annual trip.”
“I’d love that.”
Logan comes back with three glasses, and we toast to Silas and Logan’s son, Scotty. He locks the bar and throws our bikes in the back of his old truck, and we head back to the McDill Ranch.
Silas’s parents are in bed, but they’ve left the lights on for us. I head to the kitchen to fix a glass of water as Charlie goes to the bedroom. I stop when I see photo albums lying open on the dining room table. I flip a couple pages that are filled with a young Silas. There is a page for each of his birthdays.
Tissues lay to the side of the album, and it tugs at my heart. I lost the love of my life, but no parent should have to outlive their child. I came here only thinking of my broken heart, not theirs. “I’m sorry, Silas. I’ll do better,” I whisper and close the album.
I make my way to the bedroom, and I’m surprised that Charlie has the computer all set and ready for the thumb drive. She’s already in her pajamas, resting against the headboard.
“Get changed and let’s see what Silas has to say.” She throws back the covers for me to sit next to her.
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait until the morning?” I pull out my night clothes.
“You know you won’t be able to sleep until you’ve watched it, so let’s do it together.”
Part of me wants to watch it alone, the other part of me could use a friend to get me through it. I quickly change and hand her the thumb drive from the envelope. She slides it in as I get in bed and pull the covers up to my chin.
“Ready?” She looks over at me.
I nod.
She hits play, and I can’t help the tear that slips down.
“How was Logan? Please tell me he let you win? I know you can’t play darts. But did you have fun? Did you have time to go to the castle? And, how are my parents?” He’s all smiles.
He sits and stares at the camera.
“Does he really expect you to answer him?” Charlie whispers.
“I think so,” I answer back.
“Your dad is sad, and he can’t get out of the wheelchair anymore. And, your mother is taking it pretty hard, even though she’s trying to hide it.”
“Tell them I love them both and to not stay sad too long. Help them with that, will you?”
“I’ll try.” I sniff.
“Now that you’ve been walking every day and getting some fresh air along with Murphy, we need to move to the next step.” His breath hitches, and he goes into a coughing spell. He covers the camera with his hand so that I can’t see him.
My tears fall harder thinking about how ill he was when he made this video. He was stubborn and insisted upon going into work until he was unable to do so anymore. Watching this, I think the only reason he went was so he could make these videos without me knowing about it.
Charlie takes my hand in hers and squeezes it, just letting me know she’s here.
“Sorry about that, doll.” Silas drops his hand and takes a sip of water to clear his throat. “First, over the next couple of months, I want you to make a point of meeting new people, specifically of the male persuasion.”
“I don’t want to meet anyone.” I scowl at his image.
“I know, I know… you don’t want to meet anyone.” He changes the pitch of his voice. “You can’t stay hidden, baby, you’re too fucking fabulous.”
I turn my head from the screen because I don’t want to hear it.
“Second, you have to promise me, when you do start dating…to not ever sing in front of them.”
I whip my head back. “What? You love when we sing together.”
“I love when we sing together, because I love you, but baby, you can’t carry a tune, and it would scare any mortal man away.”
Charlie bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, I’ve wanted to tell you that for years.”
“What? No, I can sing. This is not funny!” I throw the covers off and cross my arms over my chest.
“Now I know you’re not believing me, so I recorded you in the shower one day.” He flips through his phone, and I hear my voice coming through the speaker. It sounds like a cat being murdered.
“That’s not fair! I was playing around. No one sounds good in the shower!” I protest, and Charlie is doubled over laughing so hard she snorts.
“That’s you!” she says through her fits of laughter.
“I’m not speaking to either one of you.”
“I only tell you this because I love you,” Silas adds. “Third, whenever you do find someone you’d like to date, bring him to the house and let Murphy meet him. He’ll know right away whether or not he’s a keeper. Fourth, I want you to join something. Anything, like a yoga class or how about the French baking class you’ve talked about? Maybe both. If you eat the pastries, you may need that class.” He slaps his thigh. “Just kidding about that part. I love your figure.”
I push the pause button because I can no longer hear him over Charlie’s howling. “Are you done laughing at my expense?”
She shakes her head as tears spill down her cheeks.
When she somewhat regains her composure, I hit play.
“In all seriousness, doll, I love you and want you to be okay. The next video won’t come until you’ve accomplished these things. Stay sweet and tell Charlie to quit laughing.” He kisses the tips of his fingers and touches the camera.
“How will he know when I’ve done any of this? Is the next tape supposed to magically appear?” I shut
the laptop and throw the covers over my head.
“Sweetie, I’m sure Silas had something all planned out. He wouldn’t leave you hanging after all this.”
“I hate both of you right now.”
She smiles, and I hear her pick up the computer and place it on the nightstand. “Get some sleep.” The light clicks off.
We lie there in silence for a while before I reach over and take her hand. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I know, sweetie.”
The next morning, I don’t watch the video a million times like I normally would. I get up and go downstairs to find his parents. We eat breakfast together, and I tell them stories of my time with Silas and how grateful I am for the time I had with him. I haven’t been able to say those words until today. I’ve been too busy being angry that he’s gone.
Charlie doesn’t appear downstairs until late morning. I think she was giving me time alone with them for the three of us to mourn Silas. I convince Charlie to change our flight plans so I can spend a few more days with them. I’m not ready to let them go.
Chapter Seven
Over the past four months, I’ve kept myself busy. I did join the baking class, and there just so happened to be a spin class right next door. I even did a mud run with Murphy to help raise money for the local dog rescue mission.
I think Noah has adopted Murphy or Murphy has adopted Noah, I’m not sure which, but if he’s not under my feet, he’s out playing with Noah on the beach.
Today, I’ve decided it’s time to get back to work on writing my series. I haven’t published anything since Silas died, and it’s time. Noah has the outdoor center running smoothly and has taken over setting up tours. Noah and Silas were partners but setting up the guided tours was Silas’s baby. But at the insistence of the customers, Noah went through all of Silas’s books and learned the ropes.
I haven’t stepped foot in the store, and I’m finding it very hard to breathe as I open the double glass front doors to the building. Once I get the courage to go inside, employees smile and/or wave at me when they see me making a beeline to Noah’s office.
