Eden appreciated her friend’s defense, but it did nothing to ease her guilt. She’d watched herself land the blows. She should have been stronger, should have been able to stop herself sooner. She could never allow herself to be that weak again.
“Give it some time,” Eden said. “She’ll come around.”
“It seems like Quinn has.”
At that moment, he rounded the corner from the kitchen, a slice of pizza on a paper towel in each hand.
“Quinn just wants his girl safe and happy.” He set a slice in front of each of them. “If magic is part of the package, so be it. But I draw the line at demon possession, so carbo-load and let’s get back to work.”
Eden studied Sarah’s expression, looking for a hint of confusion at Quinn’s joviality, but all she did was tear into her pizza. Eden picked at her slice wondering if her stomach would ever be right again while Quinn disappeared back into the kitchen.
Eden had seen through the veil Davida and Mikel had placed on their magic and watched as the flows settled into all of them, stitching together psychic wounds. It had been a complex casting, but with Quinn, she didn’t need to worry about hiding it. She’d wondered if it was wrong of her to spell him without his permission, but wasn’t that what the Council had done? All doubt had vanished as she’d watched the haunted expression drain from his face.
Maybe I should do the same for Kai.
When Quinn came back, he held a slice of pizza for himself in one hand and gripped the necks of three beers in the other.
Eden sipped, telling herself the carbonation would settle her stomach.
Two hours later, she was researching Av Rek demons thinking surely someone had once done what she had and regretted it. How Bes’tal had willingly turned himself into a monster was still beyond her comprehension.
“Exilium.” Quinn’s non-sequitur cut through Eden’s thoughts.
“Ex-what-ium?” Sarah glanced up with tired eyes.
“Exilium,” Quinn repeated.
“Honey, saying it twice doesn’t make any more sense.” She rubbed his back, so he’d know she was mostly joking.
“It’s Latin. It means banish, but it can also mean contain.”
Eden and Sarah exchanged glances. Had he found a variation of the spell they’d already performed to keep Bes’tal in check?
Quinn slid his laptop so Eden could see what he was talking about.
“We’ve been looking for ways to exorcise Bes’tal—anything to get him out. But then what?”
Then this insatiable hunger goes away, and I stop wanting to suck the souls of every living—
“He needs to go somewhere, right? Otherwise, what?” Quinn gestured with his hands, the way he always did when he was excited by what he’d just learned. “He gets into some other body and goes on another rampage?”
“I never thought about that.” Sarah appeared as nonplussed as Eden felt. “A demon that old has had time to come up with contingencies.”
“We can’t get him and his friends out of me just to let them run loose.” Eden’s mind raced at the implications.
“He wouldn’t run far.” Quinn fixed her with a firm gaze. “He’d find a body, and then you know who he would come for first.”
“Me.” Eden whispered the word. “And then he’d make me watch while he came after you.” She cut her eyes to Sarah. “And you.”
“We were looking for the wrong spell.” Quinn nudged his computer closer. Eden finally took a look. “We don’t just exorcise, we contain.”
“Maybe that’s why we couldn’t find any ‘get rid of demons’ spells.” Sarah slid over so she could look at Quinn’s screen. “Because only an idiot would try.”
Eden’s heart raced as she read the directions. “This makes sense. This is actually totally doable.”
Sarah smiled and clinked her beer against Quinn’s. “Score one for the scientist.”
Sarah had gone to bed feeling true relief for the first time since Bes’tal had come into their lives. Quinn had found the containment spell, and she and Eden had come up with a plan to get the ingredients. The hardest was going to be an Urn of Capio, but even that was possible. Now it was morning, and her best friend, who had made her promise not to give her an ounce more power, had come to her room, begging.
“One hour. That’s all I’m asking for.” The desperation in Eden’s voice pierced Sarah’s heart. “Please.”
“It’s too dangerous.” Sarah fought the urge to rub her temple. A tension headache was coming on, but she didn’t want Eden to think she was the cause.
“My entire existence is dangerous,” Eden snapped then immediately shook her head, appearing regretful and maybe a little shocked by her own words. “Sorry. I’m on edge.”
“It’s okay. I know it’s not easy.” The words sounded lame to Sarah even as she said them.
Her Biology class was ‘not easy.’ What Eden was going through? Unimaginable, which was why it gutted Sarah to tell her no.
Eden sank down into the chair in the corner, appearing defeated. “I’m just so terrified she’s going to realize something is wrong.”
“Who? Alex?”
Eden nodded. “You saw me the other day. Everyone did. I could barely keep up.”
Sarah was about to tell her it hadn’t been that bad, but in this case, lying wasn’t the kinder option. She cast her eyes downward. “Yeah.”
Alex hadn’t been the only one to comment, though the others had communicated with smirks and meaningful glances. The same girls who were terrified of Eden having power found it hilarious when she couldn’t access it.
So much for sisterhood.
Eden leaned forward, her eyes hopeful again. “If you loosen the binding for just an hour, she’ll see I can do this stupid glamour, and maybe she’ll lay off me for a little bit. We’ll come right back up here, and you can tighten it again.”
“You made me promise…” Sarah flashed back on the terror in Eden’s eyes when she’d commanded her to keep the binding intact, no matter what. “And then you asked for a little more power so you could fool Davida, and now…”
“Now I’m asking for even more.” Eden leaned back and closed her eyes. “I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t trust me either.”
The resignation on Eden’s face broke Sarah’s heart. “I do trust you.”
Eden opened her eyes but said nothing. Sarah hated to see her like this and worried Eden would suffer more ridicule at the lesson they were headed to.
“The voices have been quiet?”
Eden glanced up and didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I mean, I know they’re there, but they mostly just babble nonsense. And not a peep from Bes’tal, I swear.”
“That has to be good, right? Maybe he’s gone, or just really weak. That will make the containment spell easier.”
“Totally.” Eden glanced at the clock. The lesson started in ten minutes. “But for now… Please?”
In the face of her best friend’s pleading, Sarah pushed her own apprehension aside. “One hour.”
Chapter 9
It started as a tingle in Eden’s fingertips.
Sarah held fast to her hands as she loosened the binding. The sensation intensified and traveled up Eden’s arm to her spine and then into her head, leaving her euphoric. The world went from black and white to Technicolor in an instant.
She stifled a giggle, mindful not to freak out Sarah and make her regret doing this.
“How do you feel?” Sarah studied her.
Fantastic.
“Good. Less restricted.” Downplaying it wasn’t the same as lying.
She shot Sarah a reassuring smile, and they left for their lesson.
As they descended the stairs, Eden gripped the railing to keep from swaying.
She was free. The tortured souls were sated—fed by the power now coursing through her—and blissfully quiet. There was nothing but her own thoughts, her own feelings. It was heaven.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, glancing sidelong at her.
“Totally okay, I’m—” Eden stopped herself from voicing the depth of her relief. “You know how you go through the whole day not realizing how uncomfortable a bra is until you take it off, and then you feel so much better?”
“The binding is like a bra?”
Eden opened the heavy, wooden door to the basement. “A sports bra. That’s about four inches too small.”
Sarah made a face. “Ouch.”
“It’s fine. It serves a purpose. It’s just nice to be a little freer for a bit.”
For the first time in ever, she hoped Alex droned on, and class ran long. She was already dreading the inevitable loss of freedom.
Paige and Skyler had arrived early and were in place, seated at the pentagram. Now that each group had their assignment, Alex would teach them separately.
“You look…high.” Skyler’s forehead wrinkled. “Did you wake and bake?”
“What? No.” Eden altered her expression. “I just finally got some sleep.”
“I’ll expect big things then.” Alex swept into the room. “Better than yesterday at the very least.”
Eden kept her smile from growing too wide. The power coursing through her was a fraction of what she was capable of, but it was enough to lift her fear of Alex. “I’ll try not to disappoint.”
And disappoint she did not. The spell came easy this time, and Eden found herself able to change her hair color and hold the glamour for minutes at a time—longer than any of the others. It was silly that such a small thing made her feel invincible, but she reveled in it. She even managed to give a few pointers that helped the others in her small group. She wasn’t sure, but she thought her relationship with Paige was continuing to warm, and at the very least, Skyler was beginning to thaw.
But as the lesson drew to a close, a pit of dread formed in her stomach. The better she felt about being rid of the voices and performing the spell, the more keenly aware she became that time was running out. All too soon she would be stuck in the black and white world.
When the lesson ended, Eden gathered the candles.
“Since when are you helpful?” Alex eyed her as she slid them back on the shelf.
“I used to help Carolyn clean up all the time,” Eden replied, taking care to straighten the rows.
“I’m not Carolyn.” Alex folded her arms.
“You can say that again,” Paige muttered under her breath. She gave Eden the barest of smiles on her way out the door.
“You ready?” Sarah stood nearby.
“Yeah, just a sec.” Eden busied herself with the last of the candles.
“We really need to do that thing,” Sarah said, her gaze rich with meaning.
“I just need to finish helping—”
“Like I need you.” Alex snorted. “Go.”
Eden set down the last candle, her hand trembling, already missing the power and the relief it afforded her.
She plastered a smile on her face and turned to Sarah. “All set.”
Upstairs in Sarah’s room, Eden continued her everything-is-fine act, even as the binding twisted tighter around her, crushing her insides and making her want to gasp.
Just a few more days. You can hold on that long.
She and Sarah knew where to get the Urn of Capio and had agreed to go on Sunday. Sarah had offered to go right away, but Eden could tell she still wasn’t up to full strength. Where they headed, they would both need to be on their guard.
Souls of the dead screamed in rage and frustration at being cut off, and hunger burned in Eden’s belly.
Just a few more days.
Between classes, Eden’s phone vibrated, and she glanced at the screen. Her mother. In the past few days, she’d let her calls go to voicemail twice, answering only via Can’t talk but will call soon! texts.
If she didn’t answer a third time, her mother would panic.
Eden pressed accept and tried to make her voice bright. “Mom! Hey! Good timing, I’ve got ten minutes between classes.”
She had thirty but needed a plausible escape. She took a seat at an empty picnic table on the quad.
“Honey! I’m so relieved to hear your voice. How are you?”
“I’m fine.” The lie came naturally to Eden now. She practiced it daily at Coventry House, where her every action, every expression was being monitored by sisters wary of what she might do next. “Everything’s good.”
“Eden…” Her mother wasn’t usually at a loss for something to say.
“What is it?” Eden’s pulse quickened. Had something happened to her father?
“Honey, it was on the news. We know what happened.”
Her mother seemed on the verge of tears, and Eden’s heart dropped. It was stupid to hope that many deaths would stay local news. She scrambled for what to say.
“I’m sorry. I should have called.”
“We’ve been so worried, but we didn’t want to push.”
Eden mentally kicked herself for being selfish. Of course, she should have called.
“It’s been…hard.” Eden blinked back tears.
“Of course it has.” Her mother’s tone was sympathetic, and Eden could picture her face lined with concern but still beautiful. “What a horrific tragedy.”
Eden nodded, unable to speak around the lump in her throat. Until now, there had been her parents and the life she’d lived before, and then there was Coventry House. The two had never intersected. Something about her mother knowing what had happened made it more real and even more awful.
“Were you close with any of the…any of the young women who perished?” Her mother was always careful with her words when she thought she might offend.
“Yeah.”
In her mind’s eye, Bes’tal snapped Jules’s neck and dropped her to the floor.
“I am so, so sorry. What can I do?”
Eden wanted to blurt out, nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do but didn’t want to hurt her mother’s feelings. “Just talking helps.”
“I know we’d planned on only having you come home for Christmas, but your father and I want to fly you back for Thanksgiving too. The tickets are high, but we can swing it, and…”
“Mom, no.” Eden tried not to raise her voice. “I mean, thank you, that’s so nice of you guys. But we already decided this. Prices are outrageous. They’ll be even worse this close to the holiday. And by the time I travel across the country, we’d barely have any time together.”
Eden needed time off—from school and Coventry House. She couldn’t spend it going home to Washington. She especially didn’t want to be stuck pretending to be okay to make her parents feel better.
“We made that plan before all of…this. We just thought you might need us right now.”
Eden imagined her mother, trying to hide her hurt at being made to feel obsolete.
“Of course I need you,” she said. “That’s not why I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t want you to worry.”
“It’s our job to worry.”
“I know, Mom. I can’t wait to see you guys next month.” Her mind searched for the right way to get out of this without doing further damage. “It’s just, one of the girls didn’t have any family, so a few of us who weren’t going home for Thanksgiving planned to scatter her ashes. It was sort of my idea…”
“Oh.” Her mother paused. “Then, of course, you need to stay.” She sounded disappointed but no longer hurt. “I just want you to know we’re here for you. I’m here for you.”
“I know, Mom, thanks. Thank Dad too. I’ll call you guys on Thanksgiving, and I’ll see you soon, okay?”
They said their I love yous and then their goodbyes. When they’d disconnected, Eden stared at her faint reflection in the phone.
The Council of Magic had paid to have Jules buried in the nicest cemetery in town. There were no ashes to scatter.
If Eden weren’t already going to hell, she’d just punched her ticket.
Chapter 10
“I just wish you’d asked.”
<
br /> The firm set of Kai’s lips was a look Sarah was getting to know far too well.
“I didn’t know I had to.” Sarah tried to keep the defensiveness from her voice. “I just figured, the more, the merrier. It’s my first Pride rally.”
“And you want your best friend here for support.”
“It’s not that,” Sarah said, taking in the colorful scene around her.
She and Kai had traveled the twenty minutes to Haverland on a bus with fifty others to attend the event. Somerland held their rally in the summer, but the Haverland LGBTQ community opted for an indoor event with a winter wonderland theme. Not even Thanksgiving, but all around her, sexy Santas and scantily clad elves wandered booths and sipped spiked cider.
Sarah interlaced her fingers with Kai’s. “I don’t need Eden’s support today. I’m with my people. I’m with you.” She gave Kai’s hand a squeeze. “But Quinn has never been to a Pride event, and I didn’t want to discourage them from coming.”
Kai’s dark eyes softened, and she smiled. “That’s a good reason.”
Their lips met, and even though it was their thousandth kiss, it felt as thrilling as the first. Warmth spread from Sarah’s lips all the way down to her toes. Kai’s hair smelled of cherry blossoms, and for a moment, Sarah wished they’d skipped Pride and opted to stay in for the day.
“Someone’s getting more comfortable with public displays of affection.” Kai ran a thumb across Sarah’s mouth.
Breathless, Sarah replied, “Someone wants everyone here to know you’re mine.”
Kai raised her eyebrows. “Sarah Collins, are you the jealous type?”
“I’m the observant type. And what I’m observing is every girl here checking you out.”
Which did make her jealous, though she wouldn’t admit it. She’d never been jealous before. Not over someone she was dating, anyway.
You’re a lesbian who’s never dated a woman before.
There were all kinds of firsts happening.
“Then I guess you’re lucky I only have eyes for you.” Kai kissed her again, and for a moment, all that had happened in the past week slipped away, and Sarah felt like the luckiest girl alive.
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