by Law, Kim
He forced himself not to look down her shirt, and he found himself excited at the idea of sharing this with her. Glad that no one else had yet. He just hoped she liked the idea. “By building cabins to turn the property into a rustic retreat . . . that also has cherry trees.”
He spent the next few minutes filling her in on the details, and the more he talked, the more excited he got. She’d been spot on in her estimation of him. He was happier. And the change wasn’t simply him being more relaxed due to a decision being made about their childhood home. He was honestly thrilled with the path they were taking.
Thrilled that it had been his idea. And that his family needed him to make it happen.
As he wound down, he had the thought to point out that she suddenly looked happier, too. He didn’t know why them not selling mattered so much to her, but it gave him a sense of pride to see it. He’d put that look on her face.
“I love that you aren’t going to sell.” She made a pleased sound. “I absolutely love it.”
“Why does that make you happy?” He watched her closely. “I mean, surely it’s not just because of your job? After all, you’ve got a lifetime of basement-coding ahead of you if the store falls through, right?” He scooped up another bite. “Not that I intend to let that happen.”
“Good to know. And you’re right. I could always fall back on coding.” She picked up the second fork and joined him, thus taking away his excuse to feed her himself. “I’d just need to find the right basement, and I could make it happen.”
“Maybe your new fiancé will have one.”
The mood in the room shifted again. Or maybe it was just his own disposition that had changed—since he’d been the one to bring up her ridiculous plan.
“With any luck, he will.” She poked at the casserole, and he took the moment to grab a couple of bottles of water from the fridge. The table suddenly seemed too small for the two of them.
He handed her a bottle, but instead of returning to his seat, he leaned back against the countertop. “So why does it?” He unscrewed the cap. “Why does us keeping the farm matter?”
She looked over her shoulder at him. “I don’t know. I guess . . .” She shrugged after a long pause, and a bit of the light paled in her eyes. “I just don’t want to see you all splinter. I know you had some rough years before, and I’d hate for anything like that to happen again. Your family deserves to be happy. And together.”
He sometimes forgot how much she knew about their family.
“We did have some rough years,” he agreed. There’d been a time when he’d seen this very place as nothing that he’d ever wanted to come back to. When several of them had. “And I agree. Splintering would be bad.” It would be the worst possible scenario.
“You say that even though you still plan to leave as soon as you finish the cabins?”
“I do.”
He stared into her eyes for a few seconds, thinking about the day when he would leave again, and how it wouldn’t be quite as easy to do this time. He’d gotten used to being home. But without a doubt, that day would come. Bad followed him, and it always had. It also had a way of showing up just when he started to want more. Not to mention, there was still the matter of his secret hanging over his head.
A secret that could bring his family to their knees if it ever got out.
“Did you have any more dates over the weekend?” He changed the subject, needing to ensure he stayed firmly rooted in reality.
“I didn’t.”
“And is that because you were waiting on me to okay someone first?” He smiled with the words and was rewarded with one in return. She turned back to the food, though.
“I don’t need you to okay people for me, you know. I’m confident that my list is solid. However, I will admit that I messed up thinking that Mark had potential.” She peeked back at him, and a sparkle shone in her eyes. “I’ll be sure to let you know if someone comes along that I need a second opinion on, though.”
He chuckled. “You do that.”
Feeling suddenly too far away, he rejoined her at the table. This time he sat in the chair directly beside her, and after she slid the dish closer, he dug back in. They both ate in silence for a few minutes, her doing more picking at the food than devouring it like he was, until finally, he said, “So what, exactly, is it you’re looking for in a fiancé?”
When she glanced over at him, he almost wished he’d kept the question to himself. He could see her trying to figure out why he’d asked. While at the same time, he was doing his best to make sure she didn’t read anything into his asking. The truth was, though, that he didn’t know why. He just knew that ever since she’d declared finding a fiancé as her intention, he hadn’t been able to keep from wondering what that man looked like for her. And why Jaden hadn’t been it.
His brother might annoy the piss out of him at any given moment, but he was also a good guy. So, if not Jaden . . . then what was she after?
“Do you really want to know, or are you teasing me again?” She nibbled on another bite of food as she waited for his answer, and he told himself to back off. To end the conversation with “just teasing.”
He didn’t want to end it, though. And he really did want to know. “I’m not teasing,” he said, and his voice came out as a half-croak. He cleared his throat.
“Then why do you want to know?”
Geez, the woman couldn’t just answer a question. She had to probe.
“Why?” He stalled, and when she immediately nodded, he decided to go back to teasing. That would be safest. So, he leaned in and bumped her shoulder. “Because maybe I’ve met the perfect guy already and can send him your way. I know plenty of people. And I’d never steer you wrong.”
His tone lost its teasing before he finished speaking, but he gave her a goofy grin at the end. She rolled her eyes at his antics.
“Fine,” she muttered. She put her fork down and looked at him. “First of all, I want someone who can make me laugh.”
“Well, that shouldn’t be hard. You’re easily amused.”
She smirked at that and held up two fingers. “I want someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously.”
“Naturally.” He nodded. “Why would you want someone boring? Like loafer guy?”
She elbowed him in the ribs. “I want someone who wants kids.”
“Reasonable.”
She lifted a fourth finger. “And I want someone who doesn’t have a job that takes him out of town.”
That one stopped him. That was very specific. “You mean . . . never?”
“Well, not regularly. I want a husband who wants to stay home with me as much as I want to be with him.”
Nate turned in his chair, but she kept her gaze on the chicken casserole. “What’s the problem of him coming back home to you if he has a job he really loves?”
“What’s the problem of him not wanting to leave me if he loves me enough?” she rebutted. She picked up her fork again, but it seemed to be as more of a thing to do opposed to wanting food.
“Nothing, I suppose. I just—”
“Exactly. Nothing would be wrong with it.” She jabbed her fork into the dish, leaving it standing there, then went back to silence. Except, her fingers filled the void. The pointer finger on her right hand started tapping rhythmically against the top of the table.
“Can I ask you something personal, Megan?”
She didn’t answer immediately, her gaze now glued to the windows that spanned the wall at the back of the living room, and he had the thought that she might just get up and leave. This was supposed to have been a couple of friends enjoying a few bites of food and hanging out being smartasses. But it suddenly felt like more.
She didn’t get up, though, and when the jut of her chin eased slightly and her eyelids briefly flickered, it took every ounce of strength inside of him not to pull her close. She looked so hurt.
She looked so much like she expected to be hurt again.
“You can if you want
to,” she finally answered, and her words came out too soft.
“I do want to.” He reached out a hand to lay over hers, stopping the mad tapping, and at the touch, she jerked her gaze back to his. He kept his hand over hers, though, and before he asked his question, he gave her fingers a light squeeze. “Why did you break up with Jaden?”
The question seemed to surprise her. And honestly, whatever had gone on between her and his brother was none of his business. But there had been something hauntingly sad about the last couple of moments. About the idea of her wanting a man who’d never leave her.
She shook her head and pulled in a breath before answering. “It’s not because he left me on some regular basis, if that’s what you’re thinking. Your brother is as stick-to-his-woman as they come.”
He nodded. “That would have been my opinion, too.” But someone had left her. He narrowed his eyes. “But did he make you laugh?”
At the lighter tone he’d forced out, the corners of her lips twitched. “He did. Believe it or not, your brother can be one heck of a funny guy.”
“I can believe it. He would have learned that from me.” At her eye-roll, he gave her another wink. “Then how about taking himself too seriously? Did he do that?” But Nate could answer that question himself. His brother definitely had a habit of being overly serious at times. At least he had in the past. He seemed to be working on that.
When she gave a knowing look that matched his own thoughts, he tipped his head in acknowledgment.
“One more personal question,” he said, “and then I’ll let it go.” He realized that his hand still rested over hers, but instead of releasing hers, he picked it up and clasped it between both of his. This forced her to physically turn in his direction. “Why do you want a fiancé so badly?” He watched her carefully as he spoke. “You’re still young. Why not just let things happen naturally?”
“But what’s not natural about what I’m doing?” She sounded so earnest. “I’m just going on dates.”
“True. But typically, dating is just that. You meet someone, have some fun, get to know each other. Sometimes that’s all it is. Fun. And sometimes you decide it’s not worth continuing, so you start dating someone new.” He wanted to stop right there, because he wasn’t sure he truly believed in the idea that dating could grow into anything more. But his siblings seemed to have things figured out. “And then occasionally,” he went on, “if all the stars align—and probably some magical potion is thrown in, as well—things progress far enough that both people in the relationship start thinking about the future. Both people decide on the bigger picture being what they want. But most people don’t set out specifically looking for a fiancé.”
She stared back at him, her eyes seeming larger than he’d noticed before, and he took in the many colors flecked in with the dark brown. “I would argue that they do,” she countered. But she also had that look again. The one that said she expected to be hurt.
“Megan . . .” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know how to fix whatever her hurt was. How to assure her that he’d keep her pain from being repeated.
A phone started ringing before either of them said anything else, and after she pulled it from her pocket, her gaze shot back to his.
“I have to take this.”
* * *
Megan waited until she’d stepped outside to answer the call, though everything about her had screamed for her to answer the second she’d seen who the caller was. Before he changed his mind and hung up. She’d made herself wait, though, because she not only needed distance from Nate and the conversation they’d been having, but she didn’t want him watching her with those penetrating eyes while she talked.
The instant the door closed behind her, she pushed the button to make the connection.
“Dad.” She couldn’t hold back either the smile or the eruption of joy at getting to talk to him. “How are you? Where are you?”
He chuckled as if her excitement humored him. He’d always done that.
“I’m good,” he said when the laughter faded off. She used her thumb to lower the volume on her phone. His voice had always been strong and booming, and it came through loud and clear today. “And I’m in the States right now. Got back a couple of weeks ago, actually.”
“A couple of weeks?” She’d sent him several text messages over that span of time. That he’d never answered. “Are you working somewhere?”
Her dad was a biophysicist consultant who traveled more than half of each year out of the country. It had been that way for years.
“No.” He sounded relaxed. “Haven’t been for about a month now. Took some time off. Went to see your brother. He’s doing good.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” She talked to her brother even less often than she talked to her dad.
Her brother had followed in their father’s footsteps. He’d gone into the sciences and was also a much-sought-after consultant.
“So, where are you?” she asked again, and when she realized she was still standing directly outside the back door, she forced herself to move away. She made it to the top of the ramp, and then she stood there, staring off toward the lake and its gorgeously clear waters.
“You’re going to find this funny,” her dad said. “But I’m practically at your back door. I met a few buddies in Snow King to get in some last-minute skiing before the season closes.”
“You’re in Jackson Hole?” Just south of the Grand Teton National Park wasn’t exactly “at her back door” given that it was several hundred miles away, but since he was often on another continent, it did feel like it. And it was also close enough to get in a visit.
“Just until tomorrow,” he answered. “Then I have to be in Seattle.”
She turned and leaned against the railing and tilted her face up to the sky. A breeze whispered over the bare skin of her neck, and the blue above her was as picture-perfect as the first time she’d seen it. “So where do you go after that?” Her father’s job was based in Seattle, so it was as close to a home base as he got. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Do you have time to come here for a visit before you leave again? I’ve got the cutest apartment, and I’d love to show it to you.”
Her dad didn’t immediately answer, and when she realized she was holding her breath, she silently blew it out. She kept staring at the sky and started counting the clouds. She’d counted a lot of things in her twenty-five years.
“I’m not sure I can make it to Montana. It’s too bad you’re not in Seattle anymore.”
“Yeah. I know.” She didn’t know what else to say. She’d been in Seattle for six and a half years, and she’d seen her father five times.
“Will Jaden be finishing his master’s this semester?” At his question, she remembered that she hadn’t told her dad about their breakup.
She sighed inwardly. He liked Jaden. “He’ll be receiving it in three weeks. But, Dad—”
“Maybe I can make graduation then. I missed yours, but I could see his.”
She closed her eyes against the beauty of the world. As far as she knew, Jaden did plan to go back to Seattle for graduation. He’d be out of his boot by then, and he’d probably take Arsula with him. If her dad did show up, he might not even notice that she wasn’t the one there with him.
“Dad.” She pulled in a deep breath and prepared to confess. She could already imagine his reaction. “Jaden and I aren’t together anymore. We broke up a couple of months ago.”
A rattle of keys and the sound of a car door closing came from the other end of the connection. “You what?”
“We broke things off. We’re still friends, but we decided to leave it at that.”
There was a pause of a full five seconds. “Then why are you still there?”
That was the reaction she’d expected. He’d never approved of their plans to move to Birch Bay. He wanted her to do more with her life. “I’m here because I love the town, Dad. I’ve made good friends. I have a job I love. And I intend to
stay.”
“But you can do that job anywhere. Or better yet, one of the companies I sit on the board for has an opening in its artificial intelligence department. It’s a great position. I’ll get you an interview. It could be the start of a great career for you.”
She also hadn’t told him that she’d given up her technology job. He had no idea she was managing The Cherry Basket permanently. “I’ve already got the start of a great career, Dad.” Just not in the field he expected her to work in.
“Your job is good, yes. But that’s a starter job. With your brain, you could do so much more.”
With her brain, she could “touch the world.” Exactly as he, her brother, and her oldest sister were doing. Too bad she and Mica hadn’t followed suit. Or their mother.
A car started on his end, and she knew the conversation would soon be ending. Her dad was a stickler for not driving while talking. All eyes on the road, all senses honed for safety.
“I’m going to have to cut this—” Her dad’s words stopped, and she heard the engine of the vehicle shut down, as well. “Don’t tell me you’re still in Montana because you’ve already found some other man, Megan. I’m sorry that you and Jaden didn’t work out, but you’re not your mother.”
The harshness of his words stung. She’d never been particularly pleased with some of her mother’s choices, either, but it wasn’t like not being like him made the woman a horrible person.
“Of course I’m not like her,” she started. “But that doesn’t—”
“You’ve always been more like me. Don’t make the mistake of thinking otherwise. You have purpose in this life, Megan. You shouldn’t squander it.”
The way he steamrolled over her made the muscles in her neck tighten. It had always bothered her that he saw only two options for her. One, be like him and try to “save the world” one continent at a time. Or two, follow in her mother’s footsteps and let life take her wherever the next man she met wanted to go. But she saw a third option. And that was simply making her own statement about what was important in her life.
